my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

you will struggle to say the unsayable thing for five years straight. and then it will suddenly become easy on a Wednesday morning

How have I never seen this??? 🤩

t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

never met a sentence i couldn't make incredibly long

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

I just had 3 crackers with chutney and sharp white cheddar . Then i had a ring of pineapple. I started to levitate, but i wasnt scared. Im not scared of anything