i will say first this is not the fault of autistic people on tikok (or other social media platforms but im using "tiktok" as the example for this post), it is the fault of society as a whole. tiktok autistics choosing to only talk about certain parts of their experiences aren't at fault for what neurotypicals assume (though sometimes low support ones can contribute to the erasure of MSN/HSN autistics on purpose, but... that's a different issue).
what tiktok autism looks like (to neurotypicals, i mean)
ooh flappy hands (and other calm or "cute" stims)
i like steven universe or another cartoon!!! isn't it fun how i'm very into my interest at a quirky level, but still a normal one
i give off the vibe i can live independently (it does not actually matter if they can; neurotypicals will assume)
fully verbal, only occasionally loses speech
has sensory issues but isn't "annoying" about it
meltdowns are mostly being sad, not angry or weird
has cool skills (good at academics, art, whatever)
all of those things are, of course, things autistics can experience. some are also infantilized (like liking children's shows or having "cute" stims). the problem is not that those autistics exist and talk about their experiences--the problem is neurotypicals assuming this is all autism is, "removing their biases" on these tiny groups of symptoms and experiences, and not destigmatizing:
being semiverbal or noverbal
incontinence issues or difficulty remembering/realizing you need to use the bathroom
needing a carer, part or full time, or being otherwise unable to live independently
being "weird" about our special interests or obsessed with them in a way that isn't palatable (like me)
having an interest that isn't "fun" or "cute"; something to do with horror or gore, something "strange" like stamp collecting or corgis, something "boring" like the war of 1812, whatever (like me)
autistics who grunt, rock, hit things, etc to stim ("weird" stimming) (like me.)
autistics who frequently dissasociate, have trouble remembering things, or can't follow instructions (like. me.)
meltdowns that are angry, loud, screamy, full of movement, or some other "inconvenient" meltdown (LIKE ME)
how their racialized, queerphobic, or physically ableist biases intersect with their view of non-white, queer, or physically disabled autistic people (e.g. thinking black autistics are scary, for some reason)
autistics who have difficulty using the right words or sentence structure and thus often say odd or technically incorrect things (like me--ok ill stop now)
intellectually disabled or otherwise non-high-IQ autistics, as well as autistics who were/are in special ed
not understanding danger/doing "reckless" or "stupid" things
autistics who are monotone, lack facial expressions, or appear not to show emotions (we are often called "creepy" or "scary" for this)
none of this is destigmatized. i deal with several of them on a day-to-day basis. the autistic that is destigmatized is the "cute", inobtrusive, i-choose-not-to-discuss-my-bad-days, low-support needs, often white and/or physically abled autistic experience. an autistic experience that does not even truly exist, i'd wager--bc again, even those autistics who seem "destigmatized" will often immediately be stigmatized if they talk about any of their more negative or strange traits.
even i, a white low-support high-IQ autistic person, find my autism to cause people to make horrendous assumptions and say awful things about/to me very often. autism is not destigmatized.
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