Navy and Yellow

The best of the MCU series. Second is Loki with Hawkeye third. THe Wanda series was painful to watch

Dude, stay retired. 1) you’re going to destroy your body if you play much longer and then you’ll be limited on what you can do w. your future / kids / etc. 2) People are tired of seeing you. Seriously. Retire gracefully. 

Ugh Tumblr. I purchased two new couches in December, as my family and I were moving back in w/ each other and I wanted us to have enough sitting space. I also purchased multiple covers, because I wanted the dogs to be able to sit w/ us and not worry about smells or messes. They are MY couches. My family has determined that the dogs are not allowed onto the couches, even though there is pet covers on them, because they don’t want to get dog hair on them when they sit. I offered to get easy blankets to pull off when someone sits. Nope, they don’t want dogs on the furniture. I already had this settled before we moved in. Now they have decided differently on my items and I have no say. I just want to be able to cuddle with my dogs when I watch TV with my family. So now, I stay in my bedroom so I can cuddle with them and watch my own TV. They wonder why I’m not in the living room w/ them.

I used to be a photographer. I loved it. Purchased many many lens. Then I met the wrong guy. Everyone thought he was the sweetest thing ever. In privated, he ripped me apart. He tore apart my artistic outlet. I ended up pawning all my lens. Then my camera. Needed money for car repairs. It’s been 6 years. I have tried to pick up my new camera, base model but that’s how I originally started. And I can’t find my mojo. I can’t find my inspiration.  I think part of me is afraid of showing these and getting teared down again.

I can’t share freely on other social media sites. Friends and family, very critical. I am constantly afraid I’m going to offend someone. I am trying to get very active in my religion and the activities involved. You always have to make sure of what you post. So I guess that means this is a site of randomness that, even if no one sees it, I may use as my diary. Maybe I don’t want to anyone see it. No one can traces it to me, no one I know uses Tumblr and I created an all new email. So there ya go, I will be posting my random thoughts that I can’t share anywhere else. And complaints. And happy moments. All the things. 

I’m already on meds for PTSD, GAD & insomnia. I get these highs, I all of sudden have this big plan that I never thought of before. I make hasty and really messed up financial things. Then I’ll get a low. Real low. As in can’t get out my bed hardly for a week. I have things set up in my bedroom to work from my bed. I need to talk to my psych about this. I’m just, scared and disappointed. I mean I had a massive stroke and 3 close family members who do have bipolar. I wanted to be one of those strong ones, overcome big obstacles. I’m still dealing with the aftermath of the stroke 5 years later. I know can lead to bipolar. I am already taking tons of meds. I already have issues. Things are really fucked up.