We're Boldly Going There

My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.

you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing

@the-crux-of-magic 🎃🎃🎃

My mom told me to “find a man who respects you like a sea captain respects the sea.” A man who looks at you with awe and reverence but knows you are a force of nature. I like that.

#at the risk of making a pun that’s deep as fuck

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

Well MAYBE if you BOTHERED TO NAME HIM or I don’t know, DIDN’T BECOME DEATHLY ILL FROM THE SIGHT OF HIM MOVING we wouldn’t HAVE THIS PROBLEM

“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.

The mommy stove is at work, and apparently makes soup for a living, which I know because this kid is has been chanting, “I MAKE SOUP AND I DO IT ALL DAY / EVERY SINGLE SOUP SECOND, EVERY SINGLE SOUP WAY,” louder and louder and higher and higher to the point where it’s now either being sung by the world’s loudest mouse or the world’s most out-of-breath six-year-old.

The truth

Want to hear a hot take?

“if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.”

They’re together and happy, but there’s still ten chapters left.

what goes wrong that needs 10 whole chapters to resolve

It’s like watching a crime show. Character: He did it! Me: *looks at how much is left* He didn’t do it.

Very Good Trope: Civillian is told “ stay in the car” while hero goes to confront villain. Hero gets in over head and all seems disaster. Civillian crashes car into villain. 

“…what? You said to stay in the car.”