you should do like headcanons of what the different ellie eras would be like as a gf (like do some fluff and do some smut for each)
♥︎ ellie era head cannons . . .
──── ◞ ୨ৎ this’ll contain seventeen year old els, jackson! els, seattle! els, farm! els, && santa barbara! els, only 18+ smut, nicknames like bunny ◞ angel ◞ baby ◞ puppy, soft sex, fluff, angst on els part, self sabotage & suicidal ideations, mental health issues, loser! els, etc. just basically every ellie in every form so pls take into account ellie’s character in the games and her in universe personality c:
♥︎ 17 year old els who . . . was so nervous to talk to you that she would practically stalk your every move. she was such a pathetic girl that she almost went to tommy to even ask what your name was. especially since she had learned what liking girls really meant, she was completely and utterly infatuated with you. & also because she kept a journal, she would write down these little notes about you.
she would memorize what food you liked, what clothes you wore, how you took your coffee, what hobbies you had, and what time you usually came out of your home in the mornings. she loved and i mean loved, admiring you in any way possible. even if it meant embarrassing herself and making her cheeks flush a deep red. like a cherry tomato.
♥︎ 17 year old els who . . . was your first kiss. ellie had kissed one girl before you, but god was she a nervous wreck when it came to kissing you. she wanted to make sure it was good, and when she first brought her face close to yours, she bumped your forehead with her’s. you giggled, of course, and told her it was okay but she was so down bad to the point where she buried her face in your neck and wouldn’t look up after.
when she finally brought herself to try and attempt to kiss you again, she made sure to take things slowly. you could feel it too—how much she was trying. it was almost a desperate plea for you to meet her half way in her ridiculous yearning. so, being the kind girl that you are, you did. you kissed her first and took some of the weight off your shoulders.
and when the softness of your lips met hers? ellie knew she wasn’t going to be kissing another girl for the rest of her life.
♥︎ 17 year old els who . . . drew you without you knowing. she especially loved to draw you when you were sprawled out in her sheets, drool on your chin, and your hair sticking up in different places. that’s when she thought you were the most beautiful and the only time she could admire you without you shying away from her lingering gaze.
she would sit on her tattered couch, awake for hours now, simply sketching random drawings of you. sometimes her mind would wander and she’d realized she had draw something suggestive and immediately tore it out and threw it away. not because she didn’t like it, but because she was afraid you’d find her weird for it. (you never did. you loved her drawings and when she wasn’t around, you’d catch yourself looking through them)
♥︎ 17 year old els who . . . absolutely would not let you go on patrol without her. she wasn’t crazy enough to deny you of anything that you wished to do, even if it wasn’t in your best interest. instead, she simply asked that you stick to her side like glue. because if ellie was one thing, she was protective. she didn’t want anything happening to you whatsoever. she had her fair share of losing people and after opening up to you about it once the two of you began dating, you completely understood her fear.
and to ease her anxiety, you did exactly what she asked you to do. she became your patrol partner, you rode with her on shimmer, and you stayed stuck to her side the entire time. independency was never that important to you anyway—you liked her clinginess and her need to be around you 24/7. if anything, this had its perks. her wrapping her arm around you while riding, and her chin on your shoulder when she got sleepy during early morning patrols.
she’d even murmur sweet nothings in your ear as her fingers rubbed gentle circles into your hips. this consisted of things like: “you look so pretty today, bunny.” she learned you liked the nickname and ran with it. you were cute like a bunny anyways. “you smell so good, what did you use, angel? something to make me wanna eat you?” and then she’d playfully bite your shoulder.
♥︎ 17 year old els who . . . cuddles into you for warmth when she sleeps. even though she’s tough and foul mouthed around other people, she’s an absolute loser around you. her stammering got her into more makeout sessions then she she thought was possible and was beginning to thank whoever was in charge for the fact that she was such a dork. the cuddles would start off with you on her chest, lingering halfway on her body before you’d turn away in your sleep.
she usually took up half the bed and you’d find yourself squished to the wall with her arms around your waist and her face in your neck. she was like koala, clinging to you in her sleep so that she’d chase any bad dreams anyway. she had begun to notice that you were the source of her comfort and the reason she hadn’t had as many nightmares. of course she still had fair few, but they were easier to manage with you by her side.
♥︎ jackson! els who . . . keeps you tucked in her bed after a night of being in each others arms because she’s selfish and doesn’t want to share you with anybody. her jealously only grew the longer the two of you had been dating, and it intensified to her leaving hickeys on your neck. perfectly in view for anyone to see if they got close enough. you’d giggle away from her but ultimately obliged when she began to suck on your neck.
you loved it. her love bites were gentle yet obsessive—like she had this primal need to claim you in every single way. it was hard for her to ignore with you in her bed every night. when you’d pull away from her touch she’d whine like a kicked puppy, and tug at your hands. “pleaseee,” she’d whimper, giving you big doe eyes that you just couldn’t resist.
“you look so good covered in my kisses, bunny,” she’d coo. “i just wanna make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”
♥︎ jackson! els who . . . is the person who got you into weed. you had never tried it before, and at first, she was hesitant to let you but when she finally rolled one for you, it was the best decision of her life. weed definitely made you feel limbless and you were a lot more clingy that normal. which was a plus for ellie because that meant you were all over her lap, and like the loser she was, she took this as opportunity to make out.
she’d sigh into your neck as her hands gripped your thighs, sliding backwards to grab a handful of your ass. “fuck, i love when you get all needy like this,” she’d whisper, your fingers threading through the strands of her short auburn hair. “like a cute fucking puppy.” her words would come out all hissed as she’d instinctively buck up her hips to rub against the sensitive bundle of her nerves between your thighs.
next thing you know, when the high had worn off, you were completely naked and tangled in her sheets.
♥︎ jackson! els who . . . basically moved you into her tiny garage. she hated being apart from you, and since you were over 24/7, why not just live there? you were hesitant at first, understandably so, but she sweet talked you into it. she murmured about being able to fuck every night, cuddle until whenever you wanted, and share a space that meant the two of you were each other’s forever. in her head, it was a little more possessive. she just wanted you to herself.
she just wanted to watch you sleep. make sure you couldn’t go anywhere without her supervision. if she had it her way, her eyes would be on you all day every day. but unfortunately, she had duties and so did you. so, whenever she could, she’d let her eyes linger and now that you had moved into the tiny space in the garage, the lingered a lot more.
“mm,” she hummed into your ear as she cuddled behind you, hands roaming up to squeeze and knead at your tits like a cat. “so hot, so mine.” her tongue darted out to lick the skin beneath your ear before sucking on the lobe. “just my baby, my good baby.”
♥︎ jackson! els who . . . likes soft sex as much as rough sex. in fact, it was her idea to initiate this form of intimacy. she was attentive and knew when you had days where you didn’t want anything rough. you just wanted her hands on your body, and her words worshiping you like the goddess you are. ellie was just.. sweet like that. she knew you like the back of her hand—maybe even better than you knew yourself.
and she for sure knew her way around your body. and if you were too tired to even move, she’d do all the work for you. “just lay back, bun’,” she’d say, her fingers brushing to pull your thighs up and over her shoulders. “i’ll take care of you. you don’t gotta do nuthin’—“ she wouldn’t even finish her sentence before her mouth was on you. her licks were gentle, but they made you writhe and she didn’t even bother holding you down.
she let you move however much you wanted because this was about your pleasure, not her’s. she was a woman of taste and she loved yours. especially when you gave in and let her take care of you.
♥︎ jackson! els who . . . chose you as the only person to comfort her after joel died. you were with dina when you found her, and after that day, she didn’t leave your mind ever. you were by her side 24/7, and you cradled her through her nightmares when she woke up screaming. you were soft and sweet to her despite the coldness in her eyes and the life that had been drained from them. but ellie loved you so much that she couldn’t bear shutting you out.
she leaned into you, and let you comfort her like she had always comforted you on your darkest nights. because if anyone knew her well enough, it was you. you didn’t force her to eat, didn’t force her to speak, didn’t force her to cry or go through her emotions—you simply held her until she fell asleep. every single night.
because if there was one thing you were good at, it was staying quiet and you would have done it over and over again if it meant she’d let you hold her in her darkest moment. on occasion, when she was asleep, you’d murmur in her ear as you brushed your fingers through her hair. whispering sweet nothings to the girl you loved more than anything else.
♥︎ seattle! els who . . . was very adamant about you staying behind in Jackson so that she would be sure you would be safe. she didn’t want you to follow her to seattle where she could potentially put you in the middle of danger out of her own need for revenge. but like ellie, she could deny you of nothing—and when you were staring up at her with those wide puppy dog eyes, she couldn’t resist. it was selfish, to allow you to tag along, but she could stand to be selfish this one time.
she had lost someone so deeply special to her and she needed you because you were the only thing she had left that she held dear. she didn’t know if she could do this without you anyway. she had no sense of direction, and you were the one who always held the map on patrol anyway. you were perfect for this task. but she was still scared.
pressing your ear to her back, you listened to her breathe as the two of you rode shimmer. “hey, els,” you said quickly, gaining her attention. she didn’t look at you, but she hummed in reply. “what do you call an alligator in a vest?”
her eyebrows perked up, but she still didn’t reply. were you.. trying to tell her a pun?
a dramatic groan left her lips, “oh dear god, you suck.” as she laughed.
♥︎ seattle! els who . . . prioritized you in every single situation. when you were both hiding out in abandoned buildings, she’d bundle you up with both blankets and pull you against her as she rested by the fire. she didn’t care if she froze, but she cared if you did and she definitely wouldn’t allow it to happen on her watch. your snuggling and soft breathing kept her sane enough to stay awake on her watch. (which she also tried to take both, but you adamantly rejected.)
her eyes would trace your face as you slept against her, hands shaking as she held her pen and wrote—almost scratched—at her journal pages. even despite the warmth her chest felt when she watched you, it didn’t outweigh the pain that shot through her body like a knife carving her from the inside out.
♥︎ seattle! els who . . . blew up on you after getting hurt. you had twisted your ankle while dodging WLF soldiers and fending off a couple dogs. she didn’t even realize it was fear that she felt because what it manifested as was rage. she had never once been mad at you before, and when she realized she had yelled at you and the look on your face, she immediately crumbled to her knees in front of you to apologize. you, of course, forgave her right away. that’s just the kind of person you were.
when you had tended to both of your wounds, she took you into her arms and wouldn’t let you go. like she was trying to mold and encase you into her skin. she kissed you gently everywhere, wanting to get her mind off of the guilt that ached inside of her and redirect it into something meaningful.
into you. it was soft, quick, and the two of you didn’t speak through it. you just simply.. loved one another.
♥︎ seattle! els who . . . came back hurt more than once and had you nearly palpitating with a heart attack. of course you scolded her and ellie took it with a grain of salt a smile, but you could see the blood on her that wasn’t her own. you knew ellie was capable of killing, that much was for certain, but you didn’t know if you’d call it mercy killing or something else.. darker. but you didn’t ever press on it because you were on her side no matter what, even if it isn’t what joel would have wanted.
♥︎ seattle! els who . . . accepted defeat despite wanting her revenge so badly because she couldn’t bear seeing someone hold a knife to your throat. the rationality had finally come over her when she saw the blade graze your skin a way that made her heart lurch in her chest. you were the only thing she had left—the only good thing she had left in her life, and if she lost you, she’d never make it back to Jackson. in her mind, life without you was no life worth living.
who would love a monster like her? after she had killed so many innocent people and tortured them for information on the person who had every right to do what she did to joel. no, nobody would understand. no one would love her like you did. understand her—know of her bites and what happened the night she got them. she couldn’t do it, and she wouldn’t do it.
she wouldn’t live if you weren’t. that much was for certain.
♥︎ farm! els who . . . had quickly fed into the fantasy she needed to keep surviving. of you, as her soft and loving wife with a ring on your finger. she would hug and kiss you from behind as you did dishes, admire you work as you tended to the goats and the chickens, and even run her fingers through your hair whenever you slept in later than usual. she payed so much attention to you to overshadow the burden that seattle had left on the both of you.
she wanted the life the two of you had spoke about. so badly that it hurt sometimes, but she could deal with the pain and mask it for you. because she loved you more than anything else. “els, baby,” you’d say softly, cuddling into her side on cold nights. “are you okay?” you always asked, and she knew it was to make sure she hadn’t awoken from a nightmare again.
she didn’t know how you put up with her. “m’ okay, angel. go back to sleep.” she’d murmur back, wrapping her arms tightly around you and locking them into place. when you dozed off again, she’d find herself peppering soft kisses into your hair. as if it would be enough to distract her again.
♥︎ farm! els who . . . tended to you like a back and call. on days when the pain was tolerable, she was the most loving and affectionate wife. you’d wake up to her between your thighs already, her tongue dabbling against your clit in circles. you fingers would brush through her hair, clenching the strands. “els—mph,” you’d whine softly, face already contorting into pleasure. “y-you’re—“ you could even finish your sentence because every time you spoke, she’d move faster.
“hush, princess,” she’d simply shush you through licks. “lemme’ make my girl feel good for all she does for me.” and her sentence was true, she felt it. you took care of her in ways she couldn’t explain, and god, she just wanted to go back to how things were before. when she could fuck you without those thoughts creeping in afterwards. but right now, all she wanted to do was focus on you.
♥︎ farm! els who . . . became very handy around the house. you’d often find yourself sitting on the front porch as she fixed up another project you two brought home from scavenging. a bookshelf, a dresser, a table, whatever it was. she was surprisingly very good at hammering and it made your stomach twist when you watched her muscles ripple with sweat beneath the warm sun. so, you’d make a pitcher of lemonade and put on a cute dress, stalking out like a dutiful wife.
“oh, wow,” she’d smile, glancing up at you though her lashes. “look at you, angel. all glowing and shit,” her lips would curl up into a real smile as she chuckled. “and even brought me some lemonade, huh? what did i do to deserve this?” she’d stand finally and take the glass from you, wrapping an arm around your waist to bring you closer.
gulping down the drink, you watched the way her throat bobbed and her skin move. the heat between your legs grew more impatient. she smirked when she noticed this and set the glass down, “you have a staring problem?” she asked huskily, leaning down to skim her lips against your ear. “yeah,” you breathed.
“a real bad one.” your words made her smirk widen and suddenly, she swooping you off the ground. your thighs locked around her waist as she hauled you inside, voice hot. “you’re such a bad girl, kitten. i’m gunna have to punish you for that.”
♥︎ farm! els who . . . liked to wear a cowboy hat and tank top just to watch you squirm. she’d often plan it when you were outside tending to the goats and steady work at the grass so you could see her. when she’d see your cheeks redden and your hole on the bag tighten, she’d smirk. she loved the affect she still had on you even after all this time together. you still looked at her like she hung the stars and she relished in it.
it eased the pain. the thoughts. the loud racing guilt that gnawed at her every night. as long as she had you, she’d be okay. she’d get through this.
♥︎ farm! els who . . . went a-wall when tommy showed up with a map insisting on the two of you travel to santa barbara to find abby. you had desperately tried to reason with him that it wasn’t a good idea for any of you and especially ellie. when he wouldn’t listen, you stormed out. it wasn’t until that night when ellie decided she needed to go. she looked you in the eye and told you that you didn’t have to follow her.
but you did, like always. your hands grasped her face, pulling her close beneath the covers as the moonlight spilled over the two of you. your eyes reflected the softness and she melted all over again. she didn’t deserve you. she never did, and here you were, willing to stay by her side through a mission that only mean suicide.
“els,” you told her softly, kissing her lips. “no matter where you go, i’m with you. you won’t ever do this alone. nothing. ever again, do you hear me?” your eyes open again as you look at her green hues. “as long as i am alive and breathing, you have someone by your side.”
it was enough to make her cry. finally.
♥︎ santa barbara! els who . . . made the trek easy on you. despite her sudden need to finish things with abby, she was attentive the entire time. she didn’t want a repeat of what had happened in seattle two years prior, and she definitely didn’t want you to ever feel like she was ignoring you or going to a place where you couldn’t reach. she had an easier time dealing with her grief now, but it was still very much present and hollow in her chest. the place tommy said they saw abby wasn’t easy to get to.
through many states the two of you often got stuck in places for long periods at a time. it felt like back then, when she’d watch you sleep. but suddenly, the overwhelming need to kill abby didn’t.. outweigh the need to protect you or the life she had envisioned and began living with you.
her life now right had begun to.. overshadow joel. not in a way that pushed him to the back of her mind, but in a way that showed her that.. maybe he was smiling at her. maybe her words had reached him, and he was giving her the strength she needed to say goodbye.
♥︎ santa barbara! els who . . . took care of you when you got sick crossing from wyoming into a state that had warmer weather. you were prone to getting sick often when seasons changed and when she saw you coming down with a cold, she immediately held up and made you wait it out. in your eyes, she was doing something she would have always done, but it mattered so much more now that she was in a place where normally she cared a lot less.
“els, i’m okay,” you tried to tell her that you could fight through the sickness so that it wouldn’t take so long to get to santa barbara but she was having none of it. and i mean absolutely none of it. she had forced you to lay down for an entire day and sleep off the fever with the medicine she had managed to remember to bring along. and to make sure of this, she held you the entire time.
her chin on top of your head and you tucked into her side. she was making sure nothing happened to you. “hush, baby. sleep it off. i’m serious. we’re not goin’ anywhere until you’re better.”
♥︎ santa barbara! els who . . . follow her into rattler territory despite your constant protests to fight at her side. the one thing she was sure of was that she wasn’t ever going to put you in harms way like she did in seattle. she was stupid and naive back then—and even if she had agreed to you tagging along again, she wouldn’t even think about asking you to hold a weapon and shoot people. not because you couldn’t, but because it was her suicide mission to fight alone.
you were upset and sulked an entire night around the campfire outside of the abandoned sailboat where you two found abby’s letters. it only gutted ellie even more when she realized abby was writing to people she had killed. this revenge plan was starting to become even more draining. and not in a way that was like watching her enemies blood drain, but in a way where she felt her own blood draining.
to try and make it up to you, she laid behind you, wrapping her arms around you waist like always. her face settled into your neck and she took a deep breath of relief when you didn’t pull away. maybe you needed this as much as she did. the two of you had been through so much together. happiness, sadness, death, guilt, anger, revenge. and now.. she just wanted to live a quiet life and watch your hair turn gray.
“i love you, baby doll,” she whispered into your ear, breath ticking the skin. you shivered, cheeks reddening but too stubborn to show her that you were relenting to her warmth. “c’mon, don’t be mad at me.. y’know i always come back to you—“ your voice broke this time. “and if you don’t? what do i do then?”
ellie hesitated, “you won’t have to worry about that. i promise.”
♥︎ santa barbara! els who . . . always keeps her promises. when she means them, she means them wholeheartedly. like a childish pinky swear that she knows isn’t real, but she feels like signing the constitution just to prove that she means every swear she’s ever made. when she leaves, you don’t know if you’ll ever see her again, and you hold onto that quiet promise and the pain of having to wonder if she’s alive or dead.
it takes a week, but she returns to you. she’s.. different this time. it almost looks like her shoulders are lighter, her eyes are somewhat brighter, and her skin isn’t as hollow or pale anymore. you notice the injuries immediately and are at her side before she can get a word out. “els, oh my god,” you’d fuss, eyes darting all over, bringing her hand into yours. “what the hell happened—where’s abby?—did you finally do it?—are you okay?—“ the influx of questioned makes ellie laugh.
she loves it. so much. her arms wrap around you as she brings you close, kissing the top of your head as if to seal the promise she had made again and again.
“let’s talk about it when we get home, baby.”
@rodysnm @mimisafemme @elliewilliamskisser2000 @perfectscissorsmoneyzonk @elliespup @blu-berry45 @ki19iva @sophislover @user77091025 @amoravelee
a/n: umm so this was kinda a long head cannons post, and i kinda got caught up in cannon lore.. but i hope u like it :3 if i messed it up, u can always re-request and ill do specific separate head cannons.
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