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synopsis: you and ellie are both well established streamers, and spend a lot of time together on screen. naturally, your audiences are convinced you're secretly dating. issue is that the more people point out the chemistry between you two, the harder it becomes to ignore it yourself.
content warnings: mutual pining, mild swearing, streamer au, light angst, fluff, idiots in love, ellie williams x reader, slow burn, shipping culture, viewer discretion is advised.
The first clip that goes viral isn’t even a good clip. That’s what annoys Ellie the most.
Out of the thousands of hours of content she’d put online over the years, somehow the internet had collectively decided that eight seconds of her looking in your direction was the most interesting thing she’d ever done.
She was sitting beside you during a charity stream, both of you sharing a camera while playing some co-op horror game. You remembered the moment clearly because you were hyper aware of the heat radiating off of her from sitting this close. You’d been explaining some convoluted theory about the game’s story while trying—and failing—to solve a puzzle, and Ellie had been half-listening while checking another room for supplies.
At least, that’s what she was supposed to be doing.
Instead, she’d looked over at you. For eight entire seconds. That was it. No touching. No flirting. No epic love confession. Just Ellie watching you ramble about a fictional cult while looking suspiciously fond of the fact that you were rambling at all.
The clip spread through both fandoms within a day.
By the end of the week, people were slowing it down, zooming in, drawing circles around her face, and making compilations with titles like “Ellie Williams forgetting she’s on camera for six minutes straight.”
You’d laughed so hard the first time you saw one that you nearly fell out of your chair. Ellie had not found it nearly as funny.
“They’re insane.”
You could hear the irritation in her voice even through the Discord call.
“They’ve been insane for years.” you snort, leaning back in your chair.
“No, this is a different kind of insane.”
You grinned at your monitor. “Why are you suddenly so upset about this?”
There was a pause. “I may have watched a few compilations… for context.”
“Ellie Williams, you know better than to subscribe to fan conspiracies about you” you berate, feigning exaggerated astonishment.
“Stop— I needed to know what people were saying.” She says quickly.
You laughed, and her response came as a muffled groan into what you assumed was a pillow. It was endearing when she got like this—and maybe you liked teasing her just to hear her voice go all high-pitched and indignant.
“So d’you watch edits of yourself too?”
The silence that followed was answer enough.
“Hmff, as if.”
—
The truth was that neither of you had expected the shipping to get this bad.
People had always paired streamers together. It happened constantly. Spend enough time collaborating with someone and eventually a fan would make a compilation titled proof they’re secretly dating. Usually it died out after a few weeks. This one hadn’t.
If anything, it seemed to be getting worse. Every interaction between you became evidence. Every inside joke, every glance, every time one of you joined the other’s stream unexpectedly.
The audience treated it like an ongoing investigation. Unfortunately, neither of you were helping.
Especially not Ellie.
The problem with Ellie was that she genuinely liked being around you. It wasn’t in a calculated content-creator way, or in a way designed to generate clips for engagement either. She would never do something like that.
She just… liked you. Really liked you.
Which meant she was always there. She’d show up in your streams without saying anything, slipping into frame like she’d been invited, when in truth, you didn’t even know she was in the area. Games you only mentioned in passing somehow ended up in her library before the conversation even moved on.
And at two in the morning, she’d still find you. Something funny would catch her attention and, seconds later, your phone would light up—memes, videos, always tagged, always with you in mind.
She couldn’t help herself. Part of her drifted along in blissful ignorance, too caught up in you to care what anyone else might think. Another part of her was more aware than she liked to admit — selfish enough to let it happen anyway. You didn’t belong to her, of course. But she’d be lying if she said it didn’t feel good when people assumed you were together and backed off.
The audience noticed all of it. You noticed most of it too, though you tried not to think about it, you really did. It was easier to assume it didn’t mean anything than to let yourself read into it and get your hopes up.
But there were only so many times a person could hear ten thousand strangers insist that girl clearly has a crush on you before some small part of their brain started wondering if there might be any truth to it.
The same thing happened in reverse. Because If people loved teasing Ellie, they absolutely adored teasing you. Especially whenever she was around — comments would start the moment she came on stream.
elliesimaginarygf: LOOK WHOS BLUSHING
isaythingsfor20bucks: AHSHAJSHG
thirdwheelinchat: This is like the tenth time she’s fixed her hair
theyrebasicallydatingtrust: Lmao that’s the fasted I’ve ever seen someone lock in
parasocialandproud: I feel like I’m interrupting something…
elliesunpaidtherapist: okay so stop eye fucking, there are kids in chat
the8secondclipgay: I think they did it but I just can’t prove ittt
imwithellie_8: ellie if u don’t make a move soon i will
my_reason_2_stay: stop cause they’re actually so cute
There was no escaping it, and the uncertainty of not knowing was starting to weigh on you more than you wanted to admit.
One evening, you were halfway through a stream when your phone lit up on the desk beside you, vibrating softly. The notification flashed across the screen before fading to the Lock Screen preview. You looked down immediately, there was only one person allowed to bypass dnd, and it was the auburn haired girl herself.
Nothing important, just a blurry photo from Ellie’s shitty phone camera of Joel and Tommy not at each others throats for once, playing guitar together with the caption: watching ur stream rn, wish I was there to beat your ass but I’m stuck with these old farts :(
You couldn’t help the familiar smile that tugged at your lips whenever ellie williams was involved. She’d gone to visit the farm, something about Joel complaining she’d abandoned them now that she was a “big city streamer.” It had only been a week, but god, you missed her. The apartment felt strangely empty without her constantly “stopping by” to bother you. Was your heart supposed to ache this much just because your friend had gone to visit her family? Probably not.
The chat caught onto it immediately, and within seconds your screen was flooded.
justobservinglol: guys it’s her gf texting her
elliesbootycheeks: awww look at how she’s smiling it’s definitely ellie
Fingermetimbers: tell her to come back we miss her
logoffplease: they are 100% dating I swear
truthviapaypal: okay but she’s literally getting shot rn
thirdwheelinchat: TELL ELLIE I SAID HII
brothatsaclip: can we pls respect their privacy like-
elliescanonloveinterest: wedding stream when?
You didn’t even need to read the messages to know what they were about, and you tried not too. It was easier that way, you could pretend it wasn’t happening, they were just jokes, just chat being chat.
The worst part is they weren’t entirely wrong. They were right, actually. Spot on. You liked Ellie. You’d known it for a while. You weren’t stupid.
She was funny and clever and infuriatingly easy to talk to. She understood your world in a way most people didn’t, conversations with her never felt like work. Hours would disappear without either of you noticing, it was just you and her.
Somewhere along the way, the line between friendship and something more had started to blur. You just hadn’t done anything about it. As far as you knew, neither had she.
Which was why the next stream ended up being significantly more embarrassing than it should have been.
The two of you were playing a casual game together while chatting with your audiences. No huge event, just one of those comfortable streams where conversation wandered naturally from topic to topic.
“My initials are literally ew, I’ve actually just been set up for failure”
You stifle a laugh, shaking your head “that’s also what most people say when they see you”
There’s a beat of silence before she reacts.
“wow— actually, fuck off. Do you guys see how mean she is to me?”
ellie1ovesu: lmaoooo
elliesfuturewife: got em
marrymeellie: 😭😭😭
Fingermetimbers: ellie she clocked your ass
brothatsaclip: uh oh the parents are fighting
totallynormalviewer: nooooo I would never say that
readthisor69else: lowkey kinda mean😬
You smile, covering your mouth to hide it and leaning into your seat. “Okay, okay, I’m kidding.”
You cut it off before she can spiral into theatrics, the way she always does when she’s got an audience.
“Actually not fair,” she continues anyway. “I literally can’t even insult you because I can’t think of anything bad.”
brothatsaclip: awwwwww
marrymeellie: she’s so down bad chat
6767_eli: submissive as hell
platonicallyconcerned: I’m so jealous rn
elliesfuturewife: she’s so obviously in love with her like don’t play
At some point, somebody donated specifically to ask Ellie about the shipping. Not unusual, people who didn’t know how to mind their business did that constantly.
Ellie read the message and immediately rolled her eyes. “Chat seriously?”
You knew that tone. “What is it this time?”
You heard her adjust her headset before sighing. “They want to know if we’re secretly married.”
You snorted. “If we are, that’s news to me— I don’t see a ring.” You held your hand up to the camera, wiggling your empty fingers for emphasis.
“No, we are not secretly married, guys,” you clarify, a little more serious now.
realelliehours_247: yeah right
ellieclips: sureeee whatever you say wink wink
plsnoticeme: yeah guys they’re “not married”
imwithellie_8: I mean she could’ve just taken it off before stream
youignoredme: actually they are married I was the minister
ellieandyou4ever: so who proposed first?
altacc: okay maybe not married but definitely dating
“Chat” you groan, dragging a hand over your face. “Oh my god— do I need to say it louder?”
Ellie’s laugh crackles through your headset. “pfft I don’t think volume is the issue.”
Unfortunately, she was right. You’d both denied it plenty of times, but nobody believed you. In fact, every denial only seemed to make people more convinced. And you especially hated talking about it in front of Ellie, because it never felt like you were just shutting chat down, it felt like you were shutting something between you down.
Ellie skimmed another message and huffed into the mic. They were too much even for the mods—you just had to accept it.
imstillhere: please just kiss alreadyy
sunshinegirl1: you can cliterally cut the tension with a knife
no1shipper: my fave slow burn friends to lovers
You nearly choked when she started reading them out loud.
“Ellie.”
“What?” She asked innocently, like she didn’t know exactly what she was doing.
“Stop reading them.”
“They paid money.” she shrugs “jus’ doing my job princess”
yurilovr: GUYS
isaythingsfor20bucks: ITS HAPPENING!! 😻
elliewtf: “princess” no fuckibg way
werallgay: okay she’s doing it on purpose now
imwithellie_8: girl since when
parasocialandproud: HDJAHSVDHAIHDJH
my_reason_2_stay: SINCE WHEN DID ELLIE LEARN HOW TO FLIRT??
plsnoticeme: omgomgomgomg
theyrebasicallydatingtrust: someone check in on my girl guys
111dana: she’s so red omfg😭
You rub a hand over your face, trying not to look as flustered as you actually, are on live, with hundreds of people watching. It definitely isn’t the first time Ellie’s called you a pet name, but it’s the first time she’s done it on stream. All you can do is ignore the chat and try to move on.
“I would honestly give the money back.”
That only made her laugh harder. Eventually, the conversation settled as you got more into the game—a relief, finally—but you were already bracing yourself for whatever edits would come out of it later.
while waiting in a matchmaking queue, Ellie went unusually quiet. The silence stretched just long enough to become noticeable. Long enough that you glanced toward her stream preview on your second monitor. She staring at her chat. Of course.
“Els, you good?” you question.
“Huh? Oh– yeah,” There’s a small pause where you wait for her to continue. “Just adjusting these settings.”
no1shipper: lol she was asking her chat if u were blushing😭
elarchive: I swear she is not slick
imwithellie_8: she wanted to know if you got flustered girl
438_ll: LMAOO they’re telling on you
plsnoticeme: she’s lyyying
you’re reading chat when the abrupt sound of her laughter pulls your focus back.
“Y’know what’s funny?”
“hm? Tell me.”
“They genuinely think one of us is going to confess our love on stream.”
Your stomach drops slightly. You react too quickly to it, too aware of why. You force a laugh. “I think you guys watch way too many movies.”
“Probably.”
Neither of you said anything after that. For a moment, all you could hear was the game’s menu music.
The matchmaking queue popped at the perfect moment. Both of you latch onto it immediately. The subject vanished. The game continued, and the stream ended a few hours later. Nothing happened. No confession. No dramatic reveal.
But that night, lying in bed with your phone balanced on your chest, you’re watching Ellie’s vod from the same stream when your phone pings. Her name flashes across the screen. You click the notification immediately.
warnings : character study? references to Ellie's journal, the American Dreams comics, her encounter with David, Joel's death, and Ellie's struggle with having an appetite. death. blood. guilt. loss. hunting. panic attacks. Ellie's fear of being alone. internal struggles and questioning. one brief mention of throw up, not described. themes of hurt/comfort (elliexreader). despite these, i promise it's sweet. notes at the end.
w.c : 2.3k
Ellie’s thought a lot about death. Thinks about it a lot. Dying. Loss.
The concept of faith. Company–or the lack thereof–as one takes their last breath.
It’s a thought that floats throughout Ellie’s brain, lingering like the last remnants of blood even after it had been scrubbed away. The sting of bleach is rarely enough to disguise it if you are familiar enough. Iron, iron, iron. It’s thick. Heavy. Suffocating. Even the knowledge of sticky crimson blooming anywhere could be enough to taint… anything.
It’s there, it’s there, it’s there. Bleach doesn’t matter. If it was there, it remained.
If Ellie were able to find herself in a position of better humor–on a good day, perhaps–she might manage a chuckle about it. The irony of it all, or whatever the fuck. The fact that her greatest fear had been ending up alone. Had been? Still was? And yet–most days, when she considers it–Ellie would prefer to die alone.
Even with an insurmountable fear of ending up alone, she would decidedly meet her end alone. It is an unshakable agenda that is rooted throughout Ellie’s being–she would not obligate one to bear witness to the final form of her suffering. It is resolute. No one will ever see Ellie in the way in which she had seen others–lifeless, deformed. A grotesque shell. Rattled breathing until it ceased.
If Ellie was destined to be alone, then alone she shall be.
Perhaps, even, the smell of iron could cease if the scraps of her were offered. Maybe she carried the traces with her–within her?–and the overwhelming tackiness of it all was what her existence was rooted in. Root her body to the ground, then–fine, have me–and return her gristle and bone to the Earth. Would even then, in death, she be rejected? Were her insides too much, too little?
If she were to be cut open, would she appear as a conventional girl? Or, even at her very core, would there be something awry?
There is an unfortunate calm that is intertwined with the idea of presenting oneself to the bugs. A final offering as though all others had been rejected. A mutual affair, as they would provide Ellie with a much needed service, as well. Not beautification, just finally bleached. Stripped of anything deformed and everything that had gone wrong–inside and out.
Though–maybe not even the bugs would want her. Ellie Williams is hard to keep, after all.
At thirteen, she had met a soldier due to his decision to act on his own concern for Ellie… but it had been fleeting. Ellie came with risks. Something was sure to be fundamentally wrong with her. Like there were warning signs etched into her skin along with her freckles. Maybe that’s why her skin always hurts. Not worth the risk. A cautionary tale within the green of her eyes. Warning: Abandon before she infects you, too. Death follows!
I’ll be fine on my own, Ellie had said.
Whether or not that statement was a lie, she didn’t know. Was she fine on her own? Physically, mostly. Mentally? No. Ellie craves. Ellie misses, and Ellie gets attached. Ellie feels.
She doesn’t like to be lectured about her inability to speak–not after. After her body had been held down by strangers, her voice raw from pleading for a life (his life, never her own. Never her own), how could her vocal cords possibly work? And how frustrating it was to be dismissed. As if her silence were easy? Most could not even begin to grasp the concept of how exhausting it is to deliberately prevent her feelings from being verbalized. Silence is not easy. Silence is never easy.
But sometimes, silence is taught. And another thing about Ellie? She clings.
And yes, the bugs could not be faulted for the potential rejection, either. Who is Ellie to depend on their aid in her own personal purification process? Maybe she would poison the bugs, too. Maybe her insides were wrong. With the bugs and the woods as her only witnesses, she could fade. No family to watch in horror, no lover to cry. Just the Earth–hopefully–claiming her and correcting what it must.
The cycle of things, really. Please let the bugs have her. Let her body be useful, just this once.
Ellie Williams hunts with a wince.
These days, at least.
It’s not like she struggles with the concept–never really did. She held no impending need to shift into the mindset of a predator. It was just one of those things. You need food–you hunt. All that blood on her hands might’ve felt different if the world were another… but Ellie knew how these things worked from quite a young age.
She is not powerful for killing a rabbit, she is simply in need of food. The rabbit’s existence is not weak for being small, but it is food. The act of hunting is not empowering, it is just a necessity. Others may beg to differ, but Ellie does not. Ellie was once a Little Rabbit, hunted and preyed upon. She does not get a thrill from preying. There is no thrill to be had. Only the promise of a full belly, which she often cannot stomach anyway.
Strip everything else away, bare bones – Ellie has never much minded hunting. But sometimes, these days, she does wince.
Sometimes, the dull, fading light of life is able to transport Ellie before she can even grasp what is happening. Her body in one place, her mind in another. Maybe the bugs could do away with whatever part of her kept prompting that to happen.
It’s just that death is never a pleasant thing to look at… and Ellie was supposed to die more times than she had felt physically or mentally renewed within her life. At this rate, she was subjected to living–to breathing each day, eyes fully functioning, aware of each loss that weighed her every step. Ellie thought that her purpose was to provide others with pieces of herself to ensure survival. Instead, she had become Death’s witness.
As long as no one had to witness her own.
Company in life, solitude in death. Was that even what she actually wanted? Ellie didn’t like to be lonely.
She had been, before. The concept scared her, made her feel afraid enough to cause her erring insides to twist uncomfortably. It translated. Yeah, skin hurting. Short bursts of air, limbs that trembled–and then hands that only ever seemed to move with the utmost amount of care.
It must be nasty work to root Ellie’s feet into the ground and pull her attention to right now, where it’s real–but you do it. You do it with ease, and you do not shout at her, and your touch does not cause her to flinch. She reaches for it, even, just as you reach for her.
Ellie no longer wants faith through pain. Her own faith is found each day, each night, with a bed that is never cold. A bath that never feels lonely. A meal that is plated and then saved–like her soul?–because it is okay if sometimes she is not hungry, there’s always tomorrow and she will be okay and she can try again later. Her faith is found within the voice that never falters–the tone in which you speak to her is able to pierce through any scream, no matter the frequency, and no matter the memory.
You are the steady, warm reason behind the adjustment of Ellie’s posture. Straightened shoulders, because she does not always have to slump under the burden of her own existence. You are quite fond of her existence, so you say.
The smell of iron fades. Slowly, but it does. She can remember it, but Ellie doesn’t inhale it every time that she breathes. The smell of your hair outweighs the impact of bleach.
Bleach strips, but you renew. You restore.
Ellie might just bloom from the inside out, because the crinkle of your eyes does away with the rot of her soul. Probably better than any bugs could, no offense to the bugs. But you do not erode her, like the bugs would do. You do not chip away at her, or gnaw, or push. You hold. You adjust. You cradle her heart in your hands like it’s a baby bird—something that needs nourishing. Your unwavering adoration is able to filter through her cracks like sunlight through blinds.
You have witnessed Ellie in every possible state that a human being could be in, and you still press your lips to the tip of her nose. Your fingers still reach for her own. The words I love you spill out easier than your thoughts on the weather. Ellie doesn’t much like to think about whether or not she deserves things, as it’s a slippery slope that she does not have the stability to navigate… but you are so steadfast in your ways that Ellie can’t help but question it.
They are less frequent now, but they still happen–the moments in which trembling overtakes Ellie’s body, and images appear in her mind like the rapid flickering of a flashlight. When her heart beats too fast for her chest, and when she chokes and gags on each breath–maybe it’s the iron again, or the guilt of breathing when so many can no longer do that very thing. During those moments, your hands soothe over her arms like it’s easy. Your voice is soft–you love her–yet firm–please hear me–and you do not startle her. In fact, Ellie reaches back. Skin against skin, you ground her. Voice in her ears, she exists and that is okay.
If the world were different, Ellie always thought that she would want to be an astronaut. She read countless books, her mind taking inventory and storing away every fascinating piece of information that it possibly could. The idea of going to space was enthralling to her. The idea of being in space did not correlate with her fear of being alone. Space would be calm, peaceful. On her own terms–and she would return. Ellie is the type of person to return. But when you are the one being left behind, you cannot make the other person come back for you. Ellie has been left–therefore, she returns.
Ellie cannot go to space, but her devotion toward the topic is able to be translated to you–how much she appreciates your constant presence, and your ability to be unwavering, even in the dark. When Ellie is unable to get a grip, you manage to cause her universe to narrow down. You treat her as though she were astriferous. You trace the constellations on her skin with a gentle touch. Ellie searches your eyes like she’s studying a newfound planet. Ellie cannot go to space, but even so, you stellify her.
Sometimes, Ellie cannot speak. You repeat your words–I love you, I love you, I love you–because you know that she needs them. Always, she wishes to be as present as you in her moments of panic. Sometimes, all she can offer back is a shaky hand gripping at your arm–I love you, too.
When harsh crescents appear in the palms of Ellie’s hands, you are there to unfurl her fists. Her hands are stained with blood that are only visible to her own eyes, and you kiss them. Again, Ellie prefers not to get into the internal debate about whether or not she deserves something. You seem to think that she does deserve it, and that is enough.
You never take her silence as an indication of straying. If hunting makes her wince, and she nearly vomits up memories, you do not question if Ellie hugs with one arm rather than two. She will spend the rest of her life hoping that you know how much it means to her, even if she is unable to properly verbalize it.
It is almost uncomfortable, the lack of something within Ellie as her days grow steadier–along with her mind–and the guilt starts to ease. For a time, Ellie confused her growing lightness with feelings of emptiness. She had thought that she had finally grown numb, because she didn’t feel as though her body was bearing such a heavy weight. The realization was quiet. Lightness does not mean emptiness. Ellie can breathe. She would refuse to make you witness her death, but there will be no death to witness, anyway. Ellie has no plans for it.
Even so, it has been drilled into her very being that everything is fleeting. People do not stick around, it does not matter how much you love them. Or want them. Or need them. The very start of Ellie’s life was tainted by the death of another. Loss is nearly all that she had ever known, yet she cannot grow comfortable with the idea of it in any sense.
Ellie figures she will probably lose you at some point. It is not self-deprecating, it is fact. (To her, at least.) If she is going to lose you, she will spend every possible day making sure that you are safe and comfortable while you sleep. She will return each squeeze of your hand. A touch will never be unwanted, or underappreciated. You have shown Ellie resilience through love, making her a fern in the way that she has been able to continue, continue, continue.
The iron filled her up, flooded her, but is not with her presently. She is present. You are present. Ellie exists presently as often as she can manage it, which increases with each rise of the sun. There is no taste for blood, no faith within it any longer.
(Ellie will not end up losing you. You know that fact, even when her fears cause a falter within her. You are staying, and Ellie stays, and your world is lighter but not empty. Ellie does not lose you, and you do not lose her.)
notes : i love ellie williams.
obviously i have been quite inspired by noah kahan's album lately, this is no exception. i found the overall theme/message of orbiter to be really achingly beautiful and it got me thinking about ellie and her relationship with loss.
i know i've done space themed fics before with lunar flyby and reporting live but i didn't want to repeat that here despite the title of this piece and the song, i felt it would've been a bit too on the nose. still, i thought ellie's love for space could suit this and be intertwined with the other themes. as always, thank you for reading.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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lol existential question. honestly i have the other parts done but no one gaf about it except ME so idk if i should even post them... like genuinely what happened to character study fics, nobody fucks with them anymore </3 BUT i love these so much so ill probably post them anyway
also got a kind of strange ask after posting pt 1 that made me uncomfortable and left me kinda eeeeh so that's another reason why i didn't post the remaining parts. anyway! back to me being a sap about this fic: it's genuinely about ellie finding her purpose in this family, in her WIFE!!!! and the girls and the home they built together, and i think about that theme constantly and it's why i can't let this fic go ☹️ like i'm seriously thinking about them 24/7
what if we were best friends since age 4 and we saw each other every day and we went to the arcade and candy shop every friday after school and had matching build a bears and a special diner booth just for us and a pink digital camera full of pictures of us and a whole cd for our songs and we had a special day to celebrate our friendiversary and gave eachother the most thoughtful gifts every year and you were the first person who actually gave a shit about me when everyone else at home didn't... the only person who loved me right when everyone at home forgot to!!! and you were there with me through my parents' divorce and when my dad left and when everything at home was ugly and falling apart and home became the last place i wanted to be and you became my home instead. you were my person through ALL of it. you always had something for me. and then one day you just. randomly stopped talking to me. and never explained why. wyd??? would you be normal about it. like actually be honest.
what if we were best friends since age 4 and we saw each other every day and we went to the arcade and candy shop every friday after school and had matching build a bears and a special diner booth just for us and a pink digital camera full of pictures of us and a whole cd for our songs and we had a special day to celebrate our friendiversary and gave eachother the most thoughtful gifts every year and you were the first person who actually gave a shit about me when everyone else at home didn't... the only person who loved me right when everyone at home forgot to!!! and you were there with me through my parents' divorce and when my dad left and when everything at home was ugly and falling apart and home became the last place i wanted to be and you became my home instead. you were my person through ALL of it. you always had something for me. and then one day you just. randomly stopped talking to me. and never explained why. wyd??? would you be normal about it. like actually be honest.
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SYNOPSIS: Ellie Williams had it all figured out—Stanford soccer scholarship, solid reputation, and a carefully maintained distance from the one person who could ruin everything: her ex-best friend who she definitely, absolutely, 100% was not still in love with.
She'd perfected the art of avoidance. Different classes, different lunch periods, different lives. It was working... until senior year put them in the same philosophy class for the first time since middle school.
Apparently, it was hard for Ellie to focus on philosophy when there was a head of pink hair three rows in front of her. Even harder when her grade started tanking because of it.
So when her grades on the subject started to threatened her Stanford scholarship, Miss Cariad—teacher and apparent matchmaker—assigned Ellie a tutor.
Guess who.
Now, Ellie was stuck in a library twice a week, discussing Kant's categorical imperative with the girl she'd been avoiding for six years.
What happens when you're forced to talk about truth with the one person you've been lying to? What happens when discussing friendship means confronting everything you lost?
You wanted answers, and Ellie just wanted to graduate without her heart shattering into pieces again, but neither of you was prepared for what happened when you were forced to talk about truth while living the biggest lies of your lives.
Turns out, the only thing harder than falling in love with your best friend is pretending you ever stopped loving her.
WORD COUNT: 0,0k (for now)
CONTENT WARNINGS: childhood friends to strangers to lovers, unrequited love, requited unrequited love, so much pining and yearning, high school senior year, angst and feels, comphet, dual POV, miscommunication, forced proximity, joel lives and he's ellie's dad, chronic ilness, family dynamics, lots of flashbacks, afab!reader.
CHAPTER INDEX:
𓂃 𝜗ৎ CHAPTER ONE: ❛PINKY PROMISE❜
coming soon!
𓂃 𝜗ৎ MORE TO COME!
𓂃 𝜗ৎ PERM TAGLIST: @letmebeurbaby
𓂃 𝜗ৎ SERIES TAGLIST: @seasonsofchaos @m0on1ight1 @liasxeatt @cupidletterss @elsdolly @vahnilla @ghostofmaxx (if you want to be added or removed just let me know!)
eeeh yes and nope? it's a story i've been writing for some time. i posted the masterlist a few months ago!! it's a high school au about childhood best friends who grew apart (kind of) and are forced to speak again during senior year ... hopefully posting ch 1 very soon hehe
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hi i will give u a consensual kiss if we get more emt!ellie please please 💗
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 does in fact get in trouble from abby for smoking im the apartment.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 wasnt every 100% sure what she wanted to do, but when high school ended and she met one of Joel's pals who happened to be an emt, it clicked.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 actually isnt a super player fuck boy.. outside of your little group, and her job, her confidence and social battery are absolutely shot. she doesn't really go on dates or anything :/ we all know why.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 bought a ps4 that sits in your living room , shes lowkey the only one that uses it, but its her baby. she plays uncharted, red dead, god of war, and sometimes when shes feeling super dickish, fortnite.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 was friends with abby before they met you, and she was so awkward and shy when you first met her in your senior year of highschool.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 loves to hold you, she’ll sometimes come into your room when you’re cozy in your bed and just flop on top of you. when she does this it's very important that you scratch her back and coo in her ear.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 deepest desire is to shower with you… the two of you haven't gotten that close yet, but she desperately yearns for it.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 gets so much fomo. she can't even function properly if you're hanging out with abby without her. she needs to be with you guys 100% of the time. she doesn't care if shes working a 48 hour, facetime her!!
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 doesn’t prefer dogs or cats. she likes animals but really isn't a pet person.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 will sometimes come up behind you as youre sitting at the table doing homework and slip her hands beneath your shirt. if you’re wearing a bra she’ll unclip it to piss you off. if you’re not she’ll gently squeeze your breasts above the fabric to scare you.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 gets jealous and pissed easily…its one of her worst traits. she’ll even get jealous if you’re asleep in abbys bed.
𝐞𝐦𝐭!𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 loves being around you. and she tolerates abby. yes shes her bestfriend, no she doesnt care.
im sorry this was so chudlike but ive been wanting to post something for a few days now😭 bare with me please and thank you <3 roommie!ellabs enthusiasts send reqs !!
psdbas!reader and her cute evil pet bunny that absolutely despises ellie and keeps biting her ankles... mind you she's the one who bought it for reader 😭
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⋆ 𓂃 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ~ ex situationship!ellie x painter!reader
⋆ 𓂃 𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 ~ you've finally secured a spot in the art world and made a name for yourself in seattle, leaving college behind for good. but the past is about to knock again on your door when a very particular commission comes through, bringing up some deeds you had left undone with ellie.
⋆ 𓂃 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ~ swearing, smau, wlw shit, unfortunately a straight wedding for plot reasons, yearning, lots of gay panic, maybe loser!ellie? they're both losers tbh, situationships, very lighthearted, OCs, afab!reader. cis men and minors dni.
𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑰𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑿
⋆ 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒆
⋆ 𝟎𝟎𝟏
⋆ 𝟎𝟎𝟐
𓂃more chapters tbd𓂃
pictures from pinterest
a/n: oh hello! first ever smau who? this is purely an experiment and i wanted to do something lighthearted and fun! im also super excited bc this is gonna have a new oc!! hope you'll enjoy <33
A small n short wardrobe analysis of modern!ellie by meee :3
Note: hi, I felt motivated to write something, anything and have my first upload on my blog. However I couldn’t come up with something writable. I’ve been gaining my interest in fashion again so I decided to do a little modern au ellie’s wardrobe headcannons. :p
Tags: Umm nothing really :3 Enjoy!!
When it comes to Ellie’s fashion sense, I don't think she would be lazy or as effortless as we would assume her to be, She knows what she likes to wear n she does take interest in wearing things that are her style. She isn’t following up to date with any fashion trends or anything like that, She is casually expressing herself. Her style definitely has sauce.
She doesn’t venture out in the mall with a goal to buy clothes, It’s usually more spontaneous. Like stopping by a shop that piqued her interest with a nice looking jacket on a mannequin while she was on her way to the arcade.
She even enjoys looking at clothing that she would never wear. Like maxi skirts, or more corporate clothing. It gives her idea for sketching. She likes to take inspo from real life for her oc's (YES she does have ocs.)
While she has stables in her wardrobe, there are some unexpected fun pieces as well, and she absolutely rocks them. I also canon her to be around 18-20 here. So she is probably a college student. Her closet has space for fun clothing rather than more mature choices.
She isn’t accessorizing too much, or sometimes none at all. She does like to wear a bracelet that Dina gave her, other than that she sometimes wears a watch, when it’s cold outside she grabs a beanie. :) cutie.
!! She is into more conventional clothing. Being stylish in her own ways and feeling comfy throughout the day are both important to her, so she chooses to have loose but not really baggy silhouetted clothing.
!! Her basics consist of cotton shirts, flannels, button ups, and regular degular jeans. She refuses to buy jeans and recycles through the ones that she has. She claims that it’s impossible to find good fitting jeans anymore.
!!Also her color palette is very autumn-like. Soft and muted shades of earthy colors are her go-to along with grays and navy blue.
Along with her sweaters, she also owns a %100 wool black turtle neck. It makes her feel artsy. She doesn’t wear it as often as she wants to though, she dislikes the fabric wrapping around her throat. :/
It's absouletly time that she takes off those converse. Does she? "uuhhhh..."
It almost feels canon that she would own a band-tee Like the sick habit band tee. She got it from a hot topic when she was 15. She wears it to sleep now though.
Does she own any meme clothing? Ummmmm no. I think she would be irritated by people who do wear meme clothing in public.
"That's sound so unfunny. You couldn't pay me to walk around with a "god's favourite" written on a camo. yuck."
!!Credits to @junabuggy for bannerssss yippieee!!
Oh hiii @the-sick-habit just putting you here because you wanted to be in my taglist
izzy806
andulkaphoto
jacobvanloon
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton
