Main Blog: @sadb1tchoclock
I just feel the need to organize my life a little bit more. So here is where I'll be posting Asoue from now on.

titsay
trying on a metaphor
h

Andulka
macklin celebrini has autism
sheepfilms
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
YOU ARE THE REASON

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

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RMH

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Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always

blake kathryn

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@natdenouement
Main Blog: @sadb1tchoclock
I just feel the need to organize my life a little bit more. So here is where I'll be posting Asoue from now on.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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oh, Frank Denouement blaming himself for his and Jacques failed relationship.
They find one of the managers eventually.
Ash has settled like a shroud across his shoulders, a mockery of the dark fabric of his suit. He sits motionless amidst the rubble of his life.
His body is angled towards the approaching figures but his head hangs low between his shoulders, his back curling protectively over the figure cradled in his lap.
"We're volunteers for the local fire department." One of the figures introduces themselves.
"Are you Frank or Ernest?" Asks another.
A choked sob rasps out of the managers throat.
"I don't suppose it matters anymore."
It obviously hurts for him to speak, his voice rough and raw. From the smoke or from screaming, the volunteers couldn't tell.
Frank, or Ernest, raises his head. Tear tracks carve twin paths through the soot streaked across his face. His face - they can see now - is mirrored on the body he still clutches.
Not quite identical anymore. One of the volunteers, the medic, thinks to themselves. They don't need to get any closer to see that one of the managers is dead.
There's been a clumsy attempt to wipe the ash away from his face. The skin revealed beneath the charcoal smears is deathly pale.
"Please.. please no-" the stricken look on the medics face confirms what the remaining brother had known from the moment he'd dragged the limp body out into the air.
"-can't be gone- no.. not my brothers- please-"
The manager isn't even aware of the desperate words tumbling from his own mouth. Grief steals the thoughts from his head, the air from his lungs, replacing everything with the painful emptiness- the great rending pain of everything being impossibly ripped from within him.
Silent sobs wrack his body, shaking the ash loose from his shoulders to drift down across his brother's still face. "I can't.. I can't lose you both.." His voice breaks and trembles. He heaves his brother closer, hugging him tightly against his chest. As though the hotel wasn't scattered in ruins around him, the sound of it's famous clock rings loud in the managers mind.
Wrong! His brother's chest is still against his own hyperventilating one. Wrong! There's no heartbeat thudding reassuringly in time with his own. Wrong! His brother is dead weight, hanging awkwardly instead of clinging back just as tightly.
He buries his face in the crook of his brother's neck and wails.
One by one the volunteers drift away. Searching for other survivors of the fire or simply unable to stand and witness the horror of a lone triplet.
----------
Who survived? who knows, not me :/
Wrote this quickly before bed cause i couldnt get it out of my head ahah... probably not well done but alas writing is writing
Don't do this to me.
May I present: The Lemony Snicket Test
if you answer βnoβ to these questions youβre doing a lot better than Lemony Snicket
Are you currently hanging off the outside of a moving train?
Are you retelling the story of your ex girlfriendβs three children being chased by a really misunderstood theater kid who also happened to be your best childhood friend and your sisterβs lover?
Are you currently on the lamb?
if you answered βyesβ to any of these questions, I highly recommend you seek help.
βTaking oneβs chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.β
β Lemony Snicket, The Slippery Slope

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i always imagined vfd as a vast network and those that gathered in the last safe place were only a small number of a larger figure, and that whilst this branch may have "failed" there will always be others
Monty and His "Assistant" Gustav
I personally think that in the TV show canon of ASOUE, it is hinted at that Monty and Gustav are in a relationship. Here's why:
1: His Assistant?
Gustav has a PhD in- presumably- cinematography and has his own whole career in making films. Why on earth is he assisting someone in an completely unrelated field that he seems to have no qualifications in? It's not uncommon for V.F.D members to end up living together as partners, and Monty himself states that he and Gustav have "lived together for many years", indicating that their relationship may be a little more personal than the title of "assistant" would suggest.
Monty hires Stephano himself in the books to replace Gustav, but doesn't do so in the series ("You are my new assistant, sent to me even though I didn't ask for one.."). Perhaps because he's not just his "assistant".
Also, Gustav states to Jacquelyn "Monty and I were expecting the children days ago", which is a rather strange way to phrase it if they are really just colleagues...
2: Small Details
Monty has a bumper sticker on his car that reads "I <3 my herpetologist", which is an oddly romantic gift, given he has no romantic partner- or does he? The set designers had to purposefully choose to create this, which makes me think the allusions were possibly intentional.
The guest room that Olaf moves into is very empty and has seemingly no personal items or any customisation whatsoever, despite the fact that Gustav has apparently been living there for "many years". If he wasn't sleeping there- then where was he sleeping???
3: Indications that Monty Might be Gay
-He has no wife or children despite being probably in his late 40s and also clearly wanting children.
-In the books, Monty states βI always meant to find a wife and start a family, but it just kept slipping my mind." whereas in the show he simply states "I always wanted a family of my own."
-He has no female date in the V.F.D party flashback scene.
Overall, there are a surprising amount of indications that the two are a lot more well acquainted than Monty initially lets on.
Now I was going to make a post with the 'was it causal' trend, but let's be honest, was anything in vfd causal? Anything at all?
Random headcannon #11? (I need to stop losing track of this)
Dewey is always carrying around a pocket watch while Ernest usually is carrying around matches or a lighter and Frank is carrying around a pen and notepad most of the time.
jacques face in the ersatz elevator when he says βhold onto something sturdyβ and olivia grabs onto him is so cute oh my god

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Lemony Snicket: I urge you to stop reading.
Reader: No.
Lemony Snicket: That's unfortunate.
Reader: I know.
Lemony Snicket: So do I.
Be hold another product of me being bored, and the need for a new laptop wallpaper. This time it's a semi matching laptop wallpaper to the one I made for my phone screen. I'm sure you can see the similarities; I am also aware that it is not that good, but my back is hurting from doing an impression of a cocktail shrimp, so this is what you all get. Until then, I'm going to do some stretches and hopefully my back stops hurting.
p.s everything is in birth order, feel free to use, just don't claim as your own. oh, and also feel free to pick at the easter eggs in this.
edit: if you see this again, nothing is different, you're just crazy.
I wonder how the Baudelaires and Quagmires will feel like knowing that they suffered because some traumatized, emotionally stunted adults couldn't FUCKING communicate
A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS + siblings
kitdewey is like hetslop final boss sorry

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives"
If asoue happened somewhere in the early 60s, assuming all of the adults are all in their 40s, then almost all of the men would be in the age group that was drafted for world war two. I wonder if they served or if they dodged the draft?