I like this short hair. 6.10.18

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@natashasuh
I like this short hair. 6.10.18

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Stop.
You’re comparing yourself to her again.
But my god, what a woman! Beauty, brains AND heart! /STOP. Take a second, and come back.
Who I am- past, present, and future- will always be me. It’s all in one. The woman I endeavor to be, the girl that I ran away from, it’s all me; Natasha, Nats. Natasha is still the quirky, shy, soft-spoken, carefree child. But she’s also the one that wears heels when it rains out, to feel the concrete beneath with every strut, and holds her head high in the realization that life is utterly blissful. I know who I want to be, and where I will be. And this knowledge enables me to stray from poor decisions- running into relationships out of haste and loneliness, or for the sake of just being in one. I know who I am. I may not have a crazy awesome job right now, a degree in one hand, or work a 9-5, and I’m completely okay with that. Things will turn around eventually. But what I do does not define me as a person. I am excited to see who Natasha is in the future, but Natasha in a whole is someone that I respect. The person I am today, that person’s validity is not contingent upon who she is in the next 5 years. She’s just as much, and worth just as much.
One day, I’ll find someone that’ll appreciate me. The person I am today, and all that encapsulates me. I’ll be enough to him. I’ll be more than enough to him. And he’ll feel lucky to have me, as I do to have him. An act of pursuit won’t be one out of obligation, but rather just a natural urge to. Because what’s holding you back won’t compare to the urge of getting to know me. One day you’ll say yes to someone. One day you’ll be one with someone. And one day, one day... One day, someone will say yes to you. over and over and over again. Committed, dedicated, and in love.
Don’t rush what’s not meant to be. Don’t ask for monogamy again. It should happen on it’s own. It will. It would’ve. Maybe embrace the new. And enter it whole heartedly.
-11.19.16
I dun wanna clean. Hmph.

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Sometimes you have bad bad days. And sometimes you put on make up as some form of therapy.
sext: hey i’m genuinely wondering how youre doing
#nts
Your happiness should not be contingent upon a man, nor should it be swayed by someone's opinion of you. Whatever happens, whatever they choose, don't let it impact you. Your worth is not depended on what you do for a living, nor is your wisdom determined by your age. Honey, right now, where you are at this moment is enough. It's enough for you and the people that surround you and love you. We don't shed a tear over those that don't care for us. We don't fret and ponder over what happened if it didn't mean anything to them. Learn and love from what has happened, and appreciate the little things that were then peculiar, but not fond to your heart. The world isn't caving in, don't think that. There are just new trees growing around you- massive ones. It didn't kill you, it just made you stronger.
This filter though!! My goodness.
Today’s been a long day, I wrote this on my phone last night with the intention of sending it when I landed but it slipped my mind: On the plane now flying Toronto to Vancouver, everyone’s asleep and I woke up from a dream about you. I look back at some of the pictures that you sent and they don’t even come close to capturing your eyes. God, your eyes. That’s what struck me the first time I saw you. If I close my eyes I can see you. Soft yellow lamp above of you, shining off your Michael Kors watch as you lean on the bar. As if you’re waiting for something or someone. Loose fitting white blouse leaving your feminine features a mystery. My imagination runs wild for a second before I see your eyes - I stop dead in my thoughts. I become fixated, staring. I look away not to draw attention, I glance again. “She’s beautiful” I think to myself.
a text- 03.28.16

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I knew I matured when I realized every situation doesn’t need a reaction. Sometimes you just have to leave people to continue to do the lame shit that they do.
(via suspend)
This year I entertained so much nonsense just to fill a void, next year I just want calm, peace and tranquility.
Positivity here
I just want to break you down so badly Well I trip over everything you say.

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Sometimes the loneliness is a bit too strong...
May the next few months be a period of magnificent transformation.
It is time. (via knitting-books)