#monolid

fucking around with layering markers

me, an asian person born with double lids: so you’re saying I was born trying to be white???

Y’all need to understand that not every single Asian person was born with monolids. Go look at different people from Asia instead just looking at kpop idols all the time and see that we are all very different. Our facial structures, our skin color, our size and shape. We are hella diverse.

While monolids and elongated eye shapes are not exclusive to Asians, you know damn well when someone pulls the side of their eyes in a mocking manner who that is for. 

Most days, I have 1 monolid and 1 double lid. They look crazy if I wear makeup because their differences are super emphasized. I have tried numerous options for years to try to find an option that might even them out. Nothing so far has led to permanent folds. I've put on some light eyeshadow here just to show how visible or hidden each option is with makeup.

The Options:

Got these on amazon, they are unbranded chinese origin except the Koji Eyetalk. I didn't include double-side tape because they don't hold up the crease long enough (2hrs max) and I threw them all out. Functionally, they work and look very similar to glue.

Single Side Plastic Tape

My placement isn't perfect, but you get the idea. You can sort of see it with eyes open, not too bad. Now eyes closed...well. It is stiff and a different reflectiveness compared to skin so it is super obvious.

Single Side Fiber Lace Tape

Fiber lace also holds a crease pretty well. The bottom edge isn't strong enough to adhere completely to the lid due to its curved contour but if you curl your lashes, they will cover the textured look. Closed eyes, they look probably the most hidden and makeup compatible because your skin shows through. The texture isn't obvious if you're just blinking. This is my favorite option.

Eyelid Glue

No matter where I put the glue, I couldn't get it to have a higher fold. Whatever, you take what your eye wants to do. This looks the best with eyes open, but when you blink, there's a dark line from where the fold is held in place. It is very noticeable and a bit uncomfortable.

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Idk how to feel about my attractions. I feel guilty.... but I know I'm attracted to East Asian men more than any other man. I've gotten over the whole "I don't see race." "I'm color blind" Lie I used to tell myself. Yes I do see race and color- in all its beauty and complexities and diversities.

What is it that attracts me to them. And this isn't a wiaboo/Koreaboo thing. I've felt this way loooooong before I knew anything about Idols and Kdramas. This been a thing for since high school, well over a decade. In fact the first major Asian crush I had happend to be Soutest Asian; Hmong. And the next guy I was into for years was Vietnamese. Nationalities that are very much slept on.

But is it fetishizing if when one particular race stands out to me? Is it ok for me to be attracted to them more? It's not that I'm not attracted to men of evey other race. There is no ethnicity that I think isn't beautiful. ....however Asian men just do something different for me. I know I'm an eye person. When I was in Korea is was shocked at how down they are on their eyes shape. With their "corrective " surgeries and double eyelid glue/tape. However when I see a man with monolided eyes, I swoon.

But I do feel tad guilty sometimes. I know fetishizing is very bad. But on the other hand I feel like that isn't what I'm really doing. And now that BTS has gotten so popular Asian men are "the wave." But I was on that team for a long long time. I've always been rooting for y'all.

After years of trying to copy eye make-up tutorials and failing I found out about tapered eyelids. I knew I didn’t have monolids but I couldn’t seem to apply double eyelid make-up either.  

You can’t put make-up in the corners because there are NO corners, so all of those looks are out the window! And all of your winged eyeliner dreams fold into that crease (which for me goes down below my lash line), so good luck with that! So, I’m still struggling with finding a good eyeliner tutorial. but, now I know what to search for I guess.