act like we all start over with a pristine slate

► basics;

Full Name:  Natalie Rose Lane Wagner Slater 

Age: 32 

Birthday:  September 22, 1989  

Sexual Orientation:  Demisexual

Relationship Status:  Widowed

Religion:  Miscellaneous

Occupation:  Event/wedding planner 

Nationality: American 

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“I’m okay, it’s fine.” Nathan assured his big sister with a smile, placing the suitcases down in the corridor and jogging back to the cab to get the rest. Natalie was already doing so much for him, he didn’t want to bother her any more. Besides, right now, she was handling the pup, and he seemed to be far more difficult to handle than anything else. “I mean, I really can’t say no to him, right? Look at him, he’s adorable.” Nathan smiled as he returned back, placing the rest of his stuff down. Only then did he get to lean down and pet the very eager pup, happy for a little break. “And he clearly knows how to use that cuteness, don’t you, Chance?” He grinned, scratching the pup behind the ears.

Standing back up straight a couple moments later, Nate shook his head. “No, reaally, thank you. And I will always apologize, cause this reminds of… well, it makes me feel like I’m back in high school again.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I’ll look for a new place with a more reliable landlord as soon as I can though.”

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Natalie laughed, doing as Nate suggested and looking down at Chance.  “Yeah... I know that feeling a little too well.”  She only let the dog go only once Nate was safely inside and the door was closed.  Because, in addition to loving love, Chance also loved freedom.  And she’d already gotten in her run for the day.  “There’s no rush.  You’re always welcome, for however long you need.”  She didn’t want to add in that the company was kind of nice, because of the way things had changed for her since he was in high school.  She could admit, though, she understood his craving for freedom and to probably not live with his older sister indefinitely.  He had his own life.  “I like to grocery shop at midnight on Thursday these days and, yes, I’m completely serious.  If you want anything in particular, just make sure I know about it by then if you want me to grab it.” 

x

The absolute last person he wanted to deal with right now was his sister. She had already made it clear that she didn’t support his habits or the way he handled his grief and depression, so much so that she’d destroyed their relationship over it. Or at least that’s how Liam chose to look at it, never able to take the responsibility for his own choices. He rubbed at his temples and rolled his eyes. 

“A fucking fix, Natalie. Why the hell do you think I’m out here huh? You think I just hang out in the shady parts of town for kicks and giggles?” He did also happen to live in a fairly shit part of town too but that wasn’t the point. He tried to push past her again to get out of there and find someone else to get some drugs from.

“Not like you give a shit anyway.”

.

She could tell she was trying his patience as she watched him, her head lowered and her eyes looking up just to see him.  She wondered how much of it was the edgy restlessness she could’ve spotted from a mile away, the need that drove him and she’d never be able to fully understand.  It was probably only because of his hills and valleys, the utter rollercoaster of mood and emotion they’d ridden, she hadn’t succumbed to something after Finn had died.  It would’ve been far easier, she thought, to extend feeling numb or distracted.  Anywhere but where she actually was.  It was a little startling that thought could still be fresh, today, years later.  It made part of her wonder if she’d ever snap out of this.   

His words were as exasperated as his energy, and she didn’t flinch or budge or even meet him where he was.  She fumbled in the front pocket of her hoodie with the thin, minimalist wallet she carried.  When she came up, she held a bundle of bills in between her index finger and her middle finger.  “I have $37.  It’s yours on the condition you sleep it off at my place so I know you wake up in the morning,” she offered.  Almost idly, she wondered if he’d ever wake the fuck up and realize that a lot of what she had said and done was strictly because she did give a shit.    

When he was told that he had to move out, Nate was confused. He always made sure to pay his share of rent on time, he always paid for what he used, and all of it was his priority. Having had experienced too much, he knew what it was like to not have a stable place to live in, and he always made sure that he was fine. Now, however… it felt like he was back to the old days, when he was allowed to live with his sister, and while plenty of time had gone by, it still felt so awkward.

Only now, he could only but guess as to why he had been kicked out.

His whole life fit into three suitcases and a couple of boxes. It wasn’t a lot when he really thought about it, yet, still, it took a whole taxi ride to transfer it over to his sister’s place. While the sudden packing and moving were stressful, Nathan couldn’t lie that getting to see her and the overly excited pup did put a smile on his face.

“You make it sound like it’s be so awful.” He smiled at his sister as he entered the house, dragging most of his stuff in after him. “Thank you again, though. I’m sorry it’s so last minute, I wasn’t expecting this without being really notified.”

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“Do you want some help?” Natalie asked with a laugh.  While she did, in fact, have two hands looped through Chance’s collar, she was sure she would have at least one hand available once the door was closed.  The object of the pup’s affection, after all, was not the freedom provided by the outdoors.  It was the man standing in front of them.  

“I don’t know, he has a tendency to take up the entire bed or couch or whatever if you let him.”  She didn’t mind, though, because it was better than sleeping or sitting alone.  And he almost never did it after being outside in the rain and ending up a little muddy.  

With a sigh and a smile, she waved off his apology.  “I wish you didn’t have to deal with this kind of nonsense.  You’re a good roommate.  And I definitely have the space, so you have no need to apologize.  It’s great to have you here.” 

Natalie wasn’t really up for asking questions at this point in life.  There had been too many stutters and missteps where her brothers, one in particular, were concerned.  At this point, she wasn’t giving anything away.  And if she hadn’t let Nathan down before, she wasn’t going to do it now.  Whatever either of her brothers needed or would accept, at this point, she would give. 

That included opening her home again.  Obviously this situation was vastly different, and vastly more temporary, than the last time.  She had no explanation for why she had two extra bedrooms furnished and ready, because she really didn’t have that many people coming to stay, but it was a thing she had done without a lot of thought that made her feel... prepared.  For this.

She opened her door to him, feeling stupidly formal even though he’d obviously been to her house before.  She also had the task of keeping her boistrous puppy off him, but she was used to that.  

“Come in, come in.... you can pick whichever bedroom you want.  But I make no promises you don’t have a bunkmate if you pick the one Chance retreats to when he wants a break from me."  

Natalie needed a pick-me-up for a few different reasons.  The last stretch of time hadn’t been difficult, per se, but it hadn’t exactly been magical, either.  Spring was always hard, because for so long in her life it had been dominated by the rush of Stanley cup season.  Now, though she watched, it was half-hearted at best. His weird quirks and superstitions had taken over their lives from March through June every year, and it was a whole-ass thing, unlike individual days.  It made her miss Finn worse than even Valentine’s Day, his birthday, or his anniversary.  And it wasn’t really something she could talk to anyone about, in part because she didn’t have anyone she could talk to about any of it.  Even years on, she’d found very few friends or people who wanted to touch something like widowhood (she hated that term.)  Support groups had only gotten her so far.  Combined with this was a downturned economy meant her superfluous business wasn’t exactly flourishing at the moment.  She was sure it would be fine, but people weren’t planning things or spending a lot of money these days.  Upon the recommendation of her tax person-slash-accountant, she was branching out a little, looking for ways to advertise that were non-traditional.  Max had paired her up with a travel blogger, perhaps someone who could help her break into a destination wedding sort of market.  There was just a meeting to discuss possibilities and test chemistry for working together and, God, she was just not great this kind of thing.  Though there had been a little texting, and of course scrolling through this woman’s blog, Natalie had little to no idea what to expect. 

“If we have to keep trying I apologize in advance for all the craft objects we come home with” Maeve replied with  half smile as she looked over at her sister. The reason for needing a distraction was serious, but she was trying to make the situation a little lighter. She didn’t want to always going back and forth  with her issues so Maeve was the kind of person that was always trying to get out of her current predicament. “Decorative lump is how most modern art begins. You might be onto something. “ Maeve added before smiling softly at the mention of Chance. She would have loved a pet but she knew she wasn’t in the place to take care of anything but herself.  “What kind of buddy were you thinking? Like a cat?”

Maeve normally hated being asked questions, but when it came to Natalie, she was always open.  “ Better than normally . Not great but today is a pretty good day. How about your?”

.

“I apologize, too.  This stuff is actually not a strong point for me,” she said, squeezing her eyes together for a moment and bursting out with a single note of laughter.  “Don’t ask me what impulse had me signing us up.”  She pressed a hand to her forehead, though the gesture wasn’t true distress or anything.  “This is just me starting my modern art collection, then.”   She shook her head.  “I was thinking another dog.  I’m not sure how he would handle a cat.  Or another dog.  I don’t know.  The debate continues.  But you’re welcome to come love him up anytime.” 

Natalie sighed and reached out to squeeze Maeve’s arm for a very brief moment.  “I’m glad for today then.  I’m.... mostly okay?  Work has been slow and it leaves me time to think too much.  Plus, a friend of mine started a Tinder for me and has been sending me on dates and it’s... a lot.  I’m not sure I’m ready.” 

“Not yet actually.” It honestly was like Natalie could read him like a book, something that hadn’t really changed since they’d been at high school, since they’d been friends. He was both surprised and not at the same time —- he shouldn’t have expected any less, not really. “But I was thinking about it. Only time will tell if they actually bicker or not.” It would be amusing if they did.

 The silence that fell was a little awkward, but it let it settle over them, realising it was easier than attempting to make conversation after all this time. He honestly had no idea even where to start. She was the one to move things on, though, and he appreciated that as he as a little stuck himself. “Things are… they’re how they are.” That explained nothing of course. “I’m guessing you heard about Serena?” Friends or not, he’d heard about her husband too and debated getting in contact. “I should have been in touch…” The words just came.

.

“Yeah, I haven’t turned that corner myself,” Natalie admitted, eyeing Chance as he took a swipe, inexplicably, at the ground.  Probably mad it wasn’t running around from him and too excited to realize it was dirt and not really going anywhere.  “Chuckles over there might be the only creature I can handle having in the house.  If it were totally up to me, though, it might be a menagerie.” 

They were less quiet, for one thing.  She wasn’t admitting that in her out loud voice.

Things are....  She tried not to give him a look that said his answer was kind of weird, but she blatantly failed.  That was nothing to go off of; maybe he didn’t want her to know things about him.  It was hard to imagine he was still at all messed up by things that had happened a lifetime ago, between them, when things that were so much worse had come after.  

“Yeah,” she said, which was almost exactly as much as he’d given her to work with.  “I did, but only when I moved back a couple of years ago, and well.” She swallowed hard, fighting back yet another admission she didn’t want to make.  She hadn’t been in a great place when she moved back to Seattle.  He’d lost his wife right around the same time she’d lost her husband if her math was correct, and years later, there still wasn’t much to say.  At least, if there was something to say that wasn’t just for the sake of being polite, she didn’t know what that something might be.  “I might be better company now than I would’ve been then anyway.  Just be sure to keep your expectations low.  How are you doing?” 

Maeve knew that her life had fallen into disaster and that finding her out of it was never going to be an easy situation. She had made her own choices  but losing her brother had never been her choice and it was clear losing Finn had been the turning point Sure , she could have pinned this on her MIA husband, but it wasn’t really his fault. Losing her hero had sent Maeve down a downward spiral and it was taking years to get out of it. Some days were harder than others, and her chemical issues were also dragging her down, but Maeve was always tying. She was always hoping that she could get out of the hole she was in. Keeping busy and spending time with others was Maeve’s biggest help. It made her grateful for those she still had and she wanted to hold onto these relationships. 

Where she had lost her brother she had formed an unbeatable bond with Natalie. She was the only other person who knew exactly what she felt. Natalie was her sister and even if she was having a bad day, she would always try to pull it together to be able to spend time with the other woman. As the ice skater  made her way to greet Natalie a small smile fell on her face. She waved her hand to disagree with what the other woman was saying. “ I think it’ll be fine. I kind of need to find a healthy hobby.  ‘ She replied with a smile as she greeted her. “ Whats going in the bowl?”

.

“Well, maybe this will be it.  Or maybe we’ll keep trying.  I don’t know,” Natalie said with a shrug.  “It could go either way.  I’ve never done this before.” She took a deep breath and let it out, gracing her sister with a smile.  “I think what I’ll put in it depends on how successful it is as a bowl.  It might be a decorative lump.  Or maybe it’ll hold my keys.  Or maybe if we’re unlucky, it’ll hold Chance’s face until he smashes it.  I’m kind of thinking about getting him a buddy, but I haven’t decided if that will help or hurt the ‘calm down’ cause.” 

Giving Maeve a bit of a once-over, she switched her focus.  “We have a couple of minutes until we have to go in.  How are things going?  You look okay, but I know looks aren’t everything.” 

Natalie’s words really could have come straight from the mouth of Jonah’s therapist and, as such, he did a pretty good job of ignoring them. It was quite clear that had different ways of coping with what had happened to them in their past… and his was mostly denial, something that would never change. Pretending would always be easier for him.

“Yeah, sure, that’s what I meant.” His words were light and his attention was now on the results of her x-ray instead, casting his gaze over the images, things pretty conclusive. “What?” he queried. “Like free coffee for everyone? ‘Cause that I’d be living for right about now.” Nothing unusual for him.

“Okay, so…” Back to business. “Unfortunately there is a fracture there,” he informed her, a brow lifting slightly. “It’s not bad, honestly, it’s tiny —- but it does mean you’ll need a split for a couple of weeks to heal it and make sure you don’t make it any worse. If it makes you feel any better, though, it is only your thumb, your wrist seems fine aside from a sprain. Plenty of rest will sort that out.”

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“I would absolutely be okay with free coffee for everyone,” Natalie said, a bit of a beeline away from the other topics as he studied what had been handed to him.  “Or maybe just free coffee for us.  I usually don’t take responsibility for the whole world if I can help it.  Maybe you’re different, I don’t know.  It could be an occupational hazard for you.  I’ve never really known any doctors so I wouldn’t know.”  She sighed.  “Goddamn dog.”  The dog who had saved her life in more ways than one.  The cursing of Chance was over by the time the words left her mouth.  “Okay.  So like ibuprofen and ice?” She asked.  Straight habit of having been a hockey player’s wife for so long -- boil it down to the necessary remedies, tape yourself up, get back into the game.  So to speak.  “Plus the splint, of course.  No physical therapy or anything like that?”  

Cameron wasn’t at all surprised when the conversation stayed on the pups and moved onto nothing else. But that was okay, it made things easy and he’d rather deal with that. His life had been full of enough drama already over the last couple of years, he could do without anyway, especially thrown at him out of absolutely nowhere. 

“Gimli,” came his easy response and he lifted his shoulders. Having known him so well when they were younger, he was sure Natalie would remember his passion for all things Middle Earth, so it would hardly be surprising. “Small but mighty or whatever…” he added on a murmured, shaking his head and laughing a little. It felt kind of stupid now when explaining it to someone from his past. 

.

Though it had been years, the name he offered for his dog was immediately familiar and maybe even a little heartwarming.  For as much as things had changed, some remained the same.  It made her smile.  “Small but mighty and... from Lord of the Rings.  Please tell me you have another dog named Legolas and they bicker playfully.”  She openly stared for a moment, hopefully not long enough it was awkward.  He looked like he was doing fine.  She didn’t know if she could really say the same for herself because, to be honest, she didn’t ever consider that when she left the house.  After a brief visual check of the dogs, she returned her focus to him.  “How are things?  It’s been a really long time.”