still chasing you

— BASICS

Name: Liam Wagner Age: 27 Birthday: October 1, 1994 Gender/Pronouns: Cis Male, He/Him Hometown: Portland, OR Length of time in Seattle: 19 years Occupation: Artist/Internet Content Creator Faceclaim: Ronen Rubinstein

—BIOGRAPHY (tws: drug use, addiction, car accident, death)

“I do, I think…” She didn’t want to count her money out in the open. That was a recipe for disaster. “Do you have a car we can chill in for a hot minute? I don’t want to just whip out my money in the open…” She wasn’t sure how many bigger bills she had on her but she definitely had some. “Don’t worry about paying me back, just take care of yourself first." 

x

He was about to try and make his exit, embarrassed he had even asked, but when Paige said she did have the cash, his need for a fix overwhelmed his pride. He could deal with that when he was sober. “No, but there’s a restaurant down the street that’s still open and not quite as sketchy as this alley.” Liam nodded towards the place little ways back. He would pay her back, he knew when he was off this bender his head would bring him back to reality. But tonight he needed this cash and he needed the fix. 

“What’s going on?” Nate frowned as his brother turned to face him. There were many reasons as to why Nathan was in this part of the town, and yet, none of it mattered right now. Coming across Liam was more than just surprising, yet worry was painfully evident in his tone as he watched his brother try to push past him. Without even thinking, he blocked Liam from leaving, refusing to just let his brother wander around. “I’ll postpone that for now if you tell me what you’re doing here.”

x

Fuck. Of course it had to be Nathan, the only person in their family who he didn’t think was a giant fuck up. “I live here.” He lied, though he wasn’t sure Nate knew exactly where his dumpy little apartment was. “Just around the corner.” Liam nodded in that direction. He scratched at his arms, feeling itchy and uneasy because he was desperately needing something to take the edge off right now. It would only be another day before he was detoxing and he wasn’t ready for that.

~

“What do you think this is?” As soon as the door was open, Ale was holding up something for Liam to look at. It was a rock. A small, black rock, with a bit of a cube shape to it, which was probably why Ale was so fixated on it. He suspected it was more than a rock. A camera, or a microphone, watching or listening to his every move. “I was watering the plants and I swear one of them sparked when I did and then I found this in it,” he walked past Liam, looking around as if maybe somebody were watching them here, too. “Are you okay?” Ale asked, suddenly spinning around to look at Liam. He didn’t look well, and Ale was worried, eyebrows furrowing together as he felt his stomach start to churn. “You don’t want me here?” Liam’s words when he’d entered had finally registered to Ale, and he shifted his weight from foot to foot, high-strung and erratic and nervous.

x

Everything was happening so fast and Liam was fairly sure he was going to puke on Ale’s shoes but he closed his eyes to keep himself from losing it. The other was speaking a mile a minute about some fucking rock he found and normally Liam would be great at reassuring him it was nothing but right now he felt like he was going to keel over so he took the rock and set it on the kitchen table before moving to fall into one of the chairs himself. “’course I want you here.” He mumbled and wiped at the sweat on his forehead. “Just uh, I don’t feel very good.” Understatement of the year. He was pale and sweaty, nauseous and his skin was crawling, he was dying for a fix but he knew he couldn’t say that to Ale right now. “I think it’s just a rock baby. It’s okay. You wanna crack it open and make sure?” He looked up and swallowed hard, trying to will himself not to puke.

“Not here for yelling, just checking in… You okay?” Paige asked. She could spot the signs of someone in trouble. Less than reputable people visited Penthouse. She didn’t have a lot of cash on her but she could always go get more, if it came down to that… Her phone was at the ready, along with pepper spray. 

x

He looked up and recognized Paige after a half second and mentally cursed himself for being a dick. But he wasn’t in his head right now. “Yeah, yeah...I’m fine. Just owe somebody some money and need to figure that out.” He looked behind him where the dealer was still lurking on the corner. “You don’t happen to have like, fifty bucks do you? I could pay you back next week I just uh...” Liam shook his head and put his hands up in defeat. “Nevermind, I shouldn’t have even asked.”

.

Natalie’s feet were moving, but it was not a fair description to say she was aware of her surroundings.  Part of her had recognized the bar she was headed to was a dive, but it was well within her budget and the chances she’d know someone were low.  Those had been the main selling points, at first, but she hadn’t even ordered a drink in the end, so those points had both long been muted and forgotten. 

Any catcalls or begging yelled her way didn’t really penetrate the haze she was in, either.  Those were the risks in this part of town, parts she’d frequented with Finn when they were poor college students and not really into things like…. basic safety.  It didn’t matter because they hadn’t had money anyway.  Now she just wanted to find the train station, but it wasn’t close.  She didn’t care.  Her hands were buried in the front pocket of the old Avalanche hoodie, which made it a little bit of a problem when someone tried to push past her.  She stumbled a little before she realized it was Liam.  She blinked, not quite caught up until her mouth started moving.   “All out of reprimands,” she promised.  “If that’s the last thing you need, what’s the first thing you need?” 

x

The absolute last person he wanted to deal with right now was his sister. She had already made it clear that she didn’t support his habits or the way he handled his grief and depression, so much so that she’d destroyed their relationship over it. Or at least that’s how Liam chose to look at it, never able to take the responsibility for his own choices. He rubbed at his temples and rolled his eyes. 

“A fucking fix, Natalie. Why the hell do you think I’m out here huh? You think I just hang out in the shady parts of town for kicks and giggles?” He did also happen to live in a fairly shit part of town too but that wasn’t the point. He tried to push past her again to get out of there and find someone else to get some drugs from.

“Not like you give a shit anyway.”

“Come on man, I’ll have the money tomorrow just...please.” It was no use though because he had already over used every ounce of credit he had in him with all the dealers he knew in town. He shuffled away defeated and turned to see a familiar face behind him. “Oh for fucks sake. The last thing I need is anyone else to reprimand me for poor life choices so just, save it.” He shook his head and tried to push past them. Liam was obviously high and not his usual self because his head was so clouded trying to fill a void that was never gonna be found.

Two days without taking anything to alter his mental status and Liam was sick, very sick. He was sweaty and shivering all at the same time and for the first time in a month his mind was clear. He felt like shit though and needed to get his next fix if he was gonna be okay. The knock on his door was supposed to be his dealer but instead when he opened it up he found Ale there looking up at him. “Oh. Hey.” He swiped at his forehead to get the sweat off of it and stepped back to let him in. “What uh, what are you doing here?” 

Location:  Outside of The Purrfect Cup Status: Open

@seattlehqs-starters​

Verona carried her portfolio in her hands as she stared outside the cat café. She had just finished a meeting for her artwork and it had gone incredibly well. So much so that the  more positive and optimistic part of her that had been in hiding due to stress had come springing forward. She was honestly in an amazing mood and when she was happy, she had a habit of being impulsive. “ I shouldn’t get another cat should I?” Verona replied to the person next to her. “ But this little guy is so cute and maybe Vincent wants to be a big brother. I haven’t asked him, but he might have fun with a friend other than me and my paintbrushes”

x

He barely even remembered how he’d gotten to be outside the little cat cafe. All Liam was sure about was that someone was talking to him right now and he needed to bring himself back down to earth to try and respond to her. He looked up from where he was sitting on the ground, his back against the wall and one leg kicked out in front of him, the other knee to his chest and then glanced at the cat in the window that was looking up at her. “I mean, I think most animals would like a friend, right?” He had no fucking idea if that was true because he couldn’t be responsible enough to care for another living creature.

        Farah felt a sense of relaxation and comfortability once the man reached his hand out toward her direction. She was tense and filled with mixed emotions during the meeting, so she appreciated the feeling of taking a breath a great deal. “It’s nice to meet you, Liam,” The counselor was quick to wrap her hand around his and give it a warm shake. “I’m Farah, and I totally understand what you mean.” She was sure her tragic story made others feel like they weren’t alone in their long healing process. “I came here for the meeting mostly, but I also attended to see if anybody needs a sponsor. Do you have one? If so, are they here tonight?”

~

Ale laughed, his head falling back as he did, and leaned into Liam’s every touch. He nodded, letting himself be pulled from the dance floor. As much as he liked to dance, he didn’t have any issue forgetting about that and spending some more time alone with Liam. He never had any issue with that. Truth be told, he felt best when he was alone with Liam. And it wasn’t about the sex really, though he took pride in being able to make Liam feel good, he’d never enjoyed sex more than he did with him, but just about the person he was with. And it was strange to think now that they had waited so long to admit that to each other. As he was pulled along, Ale felt his heart start to pound in a feeling he could only assume was some kind of naturally-derived ecstasy. 

“Just promise me you won’t let me drown and I’ll be okay,” he replied, grinning and watching Liam with an expression that could only be described as pure adoration.

x

He smiled and kissed the other man again before he nodded and laced their fingers together. “Promise. I would never let you get hurt babe.” Even if it cost him his own safety, Liam would always protect Ale to the best of his ability. “Come on.” He said softly before he tugged his better half away from the dance floor and started to take him downstairs to find a place for them to be alone. If there was one thing he could count on it was that any time spent with Ale was going to be well spent. Tomorrow they could talk about their feelings and their impending titles but for tonight they were just two lovers on a date that was going to set off a chain reaction of something that might lead to forever.

~

He could’ve gotten lost in it for a while, the sound of the music and the feeling of Liam against him. The last bit wasn’t new, he’d never shied away from physical touch when it came to Liam, though it felt different now that they’d admitted there was something more to their fondness for each other than just friendship. It felt nice, and safe, and he might have forgotten there was anything else going on around them if Liam didn’t speak softly to him. Ale felt his cheeks burn, and his eyes opened so he could look at the other with a smirk. “Yeah? Guess you just bring that out of me,” he teased, the words spilling out without him even having to think about it. He pushed even closer, his movements smaller but his body pressed up against Liam’s, and he brought their lips together easily, keeping it quick for the time being.

When he pulled back a few inches, he hoped his cheeks were less red, and he opened his eyes again to look at Liam. “Do you think there are any private areas on this boat?”

x

How in the hell could he have ever not seen that this man was the other piece of his soul? What was it that had Liam hiding from the truth for so long? Fear? Seriously? That was a weak ass feeling for weak ass people and he was not that. Or at least that’s what he was telling himself because fear was the one thing that made him feel weak. Ale made him feel strong and sure. Something new for him. “Oh there are definitely some private spaces below deck...maybe we should go find one.” Liam whispered against Ale’s ear and brought a hand down to squeeze his ass in those impossibly tight pants.

He found his partner’s hand and started to pull him away from the dance floor. “You want another drink first or are you feeling brave?” Liam tossed back the rest of the one he had and set the empty glass on the bar as they paused there for a minute.

“Me too Liam,” She agreed, but was also okay with going home alone. She had come here alone after all. “Nah not yet but everyone here is looking fine as hell. So I think I might acquire your wingman services. Might make things interesting.” She was still thinking about her vlog and the story she would tell for it. How the night might go if she ended up alone. Maybe Liam could play a part, he could be her eyes for the night for finding her fictional secret admirer.  

-

There it was, the fear of communication. That was something Trix was afraid of. She never spoke her own mind, she was always afraid that it would be the wrong thing. Instead, she would say what she knew the other probably wanted to hear. Unfortunately, even though she was acutely aware of that, it didn’t mean she was going to change that, even though she truly wanted to. Even though she had never tried to sabotage anything in her life, she sat up straight and nodded her head, as though she had ever been in that situation. “I know…” She quickly changed, not wanting to sit on the lie for too long. “I even understand just not wanting to say anything because you don’t want to ruin things. I just think that shows you care. Maybe you should keep that in mind when you go back to them.”

x

With a long deep breath, Liam nodded and looked over at the blonde for a moment. “I should have the courage to talk to him but this is the only good thing I have right now.” He shook his head and looked back out at the water. “If I lose this one thing then I’ve lost everything.” And Liam wasn’t sure if he had anything else to stick around for. Not anymore. Good things in his life always had an expiration date but he needed to start getting over that fear. “Anyway, thanks for the talk. I’ll try to take your advice, wish me luck.”

~

The few times Ale had dated in the past, it had been different than this. If they’d touched him he’d cringed, fingers and hands feeling like they were on fire whenever they reached his skin and burned him. When they’d spoken to him the words had made him feel sick, dirty, embarrassed, no matter what they were saying. It had felt wrong, or forced. Though a long time ago he’d convinced himself that was what love felt like. Or at least, that’s what it felt like for him. There wasn’t anything wrong with anyone else, it was just him being wired incorrectly. 

“I always like being seen with you.” Liam wasn’t like that though. His touch didn’t hurt Ale. There was nothing he could do that Ale would see as embarrassing. He stopped breathing when Liam said he was the only one he’d embarrass himself like this for, and then smiled and grabbed his hips to gently move to the beat. “Do you think about dancing?” He asked, laughing. “Don’t think about it. Just feel it,” he tried to explain, pressing closer and closing his eyes as if to show Liam. Ale wasn’t a professional by any means, but he did have a natural sense of rhythm, and good knowledge of his own body and how it moved. It made him a decent stripper, and skilled in the art of seduction. And dancing sometimes just gave him an opportunity to shut the other things in his life out for a few moments.

x

There was no one that Liam would rather be with than Ale, in any circumstance. They’d been through the good, the bad, the ugly, the desperate, the depraved, all of it. If anything in his life was good now and had a promise of a real future, it was because Ale was in it. Without him, Liam knew he’d still be strung out, laying in some crack house on a dirty mattress and waiting for the next ime he could get high. It was all just a never ending cycle before Ale, just a blur of time that he couldn’t account for. But now, things mattered now. People did. This did. 

“How do I not think about it?” Liam laughed and draped his arms around Ale’s neck to try and copy what he was doing while keeping him close. Liam was a little clumsy but the other man was sexy and enticing so he didn’t worry about it, simply letting the moment take him over. He wanted to close his eyes and relax but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Ale. Instead he leaned down and spoke closely against his ear. “You look sexy as hell right now, you know that?”

“Gotta do what’s best for business.” She nodded. Of course she would tag him, business or not. It was rude to not do so. “Do you know how many people I’m following? Too many.” She gave a fake attitude to his response. “Okay so like I had a box of these fancy chocolate in the background of a video. My followers were like ‘someone gave her chocolates!’ and I started leaving things in the background of my vlogs that look like they could be gifts. They aren’t. So I was like maybe I’ll meet the possible mystery crush on the Valentine’s Day cruise.” It seemed cute and harmless at the time. Maybe a little cringe. It also felt safe enough from clickbait that she didn’t feel like she was tricking her fans. That’s something she wanted to avoid. “If I leave with someone maybe they’ll feel like playing along. If not, I’ll just say it wasn’t meant to be. No harm done." 

x

He respected the hustle so matter what it was, and Liam appreciated people who made their living in less traditional ways too. He got most of his money from showing off his naked body on the internet so Paige playing a little gimmick with her followers was much more harmless than what he did. “That’s cute. I hope you do find some cutie to take home with you. Any prospective targets yet? I’m a great wingman if you need help getting the courage up to talk to someone.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her playfully and looked around the room. He had to be good at talking and flirting to make any money with what he did.

-

Trix offered another nod, fully knowing how the other felt. She always felt as though she was walking on eggshells. She spent most of her time analyzing the people around her, carefully picking her actions and words. There was always the fear that Trix would ruin whatever could happen between her and someone else, even if she had just met them. She even did that now. She watched the man carefully: the drifting eyes, the desperate emotions that took over his features. She matched them, adding an empathetic smile on her lips. Her hand rose to pat his back, but she folded it back over her skirt. “I’m sorry you’re feeling that. It’s scary,” she huffed. “I’m sure you’ve mentioned all of this to him, right?”

x

A half laugh broke through Liam’s anxiety and he shook his head. “Not really. Not as much as I need to. He’s been through a lot and I’m worried that he’s going to think it’s about him when really it’s about me.” If Liam knew Ale at all, he knew that if he voiced these concerns that his better half would feel like he did something wrong. “I’ll be fine. I know that. I just need to remind myself that I dont need to sabotage every good thing that comes my way. You know how that feels? Like whenever something good comes into your life that you need to run from it so you don’t fuck it up? Or am I just nuts?” Liam sighed.