Tumblr ghost

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

#feminist retelling

Mitch McConnell has been sent to a nice farm out in the country where there's lots of open space to run around and lots of other senators for him to play with

can we send him to the glue factory instead

i wonder what they're gossiping about

*taps mic* Rocky should've been on the tumblr sexyman poll instead of Grace. *leaves*

Am I missing extremely important context

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

Would u eat a succulent meal if nobody made it?

how does it exist?

Whos to say.... would you partake?

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Official Post of Massachusetts