Umi

IM SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL

SESS PROB LEFT(?) THE GIRLS TO LOOK AFTER RIN, AND AFTER MARRYING RIN HE LOST HIS "DOG DEMON" TITLE WHATTTT

IM FUCKING CRYING THE WAY SESS SACRIFICES EVERYTHING FOR RIN

IM A WRECK

SESSRIN WON BITCHES NOW YALL CAN STFU AND GTFO

5.9.20

My language practices have affected my educational career by allowing me to gain more connections with the people at the University of Washington and enabling me to seek academic help from my relatives, family, and people who are from a similar cultural background. My language practices are not limited to speaking, but also encompasses the language I use when I message or email people.

The language tone I use is generally polite, and I use that to my advantage by befriending or reaching out to others whether it be in person or over text. For example, I would reach out to others in my design class or students in the design program if I wanted more critique on my work by emailing them. I would use formal language in my emails and always greeted the person first and sign off with “Sincerely, Anna.” That way, if you’re being respectful to the other party, they will want to help you again. Being polite in my use of language has made me more comfortable in reaching out to others for help because I noticed that if you treat others nicely, they will do the same. The effect this language practice has on my educational career is a positive one. By using polite language with others in an academic setting, not only will people have a pleasant impression of you, but you are setting yourself for academic success by using the resources around you with the use of language. With the example of reaching out to design students for critique, I am utilizing the resources around me and setting myself for success by asking for more critique, which allows me to further refine my work and make stronger project pieces. 

Similarly, if you use proper language to clearly communicate interest or your thoughts/questions to professors, they can help you in your educational career. For example, I speak out in every design lecture by either asking questions or answering questions in an effort to get my professor to notice me and my interest in design.

My use of Mandarin also benefits my educational career, even though I don’t use it often in the academic setting. I mainly use Mandarin with my parents or relatives when I need to get some tools for my projects. For example, I needed to communicate with my parents that I had to buy some x-acto knives and other tools for the packaging project in design class. Had I not used Mandarin with them, it would’ve been more difficult for me to achieve my objective. The effect this language practice has on my educational career is also another positive one because I used Mandarin to get my point across to my parents that I needed these tools to do well in my design class. Without the proper tools, I wouldn’t be able to execute the packaging project and fail my goal of getting into the design major.

I can’t really recall a time where my use of language has challenged my educational career, but I do want to confirm that sometimes it’s hard to make my parents understand what I’m saying when it comes to the topic of majors and education. Either my parents don’t understand or my Mandarin isn’t fluent enough for them to understand. That would be an obstacle that I can think of right off the bat because it occurs every now and then.

In essence, it’s important to analyze and see how the use of language can impact our educational career. Language can benefit your educational career if you use it to reach out or express your thinking or reasoning clearly to professors and classmates.

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Feb. 21, 2020

I’m more than halfway through my second quarter of college and... I still haven’t gone to a drinking party. lol.

I know that I shouldn’t feel pressured to drink, but literally everyone is having fun on a Friday night and I’m just sitting here in my dorm room working on homework. I can’t help but feel lonely. I also really do want to try out some drinks, but at the same time, I’m a little bit scared of what might happen and what I might do. I don’t know that side of me yet. Will I say nothing when I’m drunk, or will I say the stupidest things that I’ll regret? 

I’m also not the most interesting or fun person to talk to since I would rather observe other people in a conversation... and I feel like I only cool or funny people can go to those drinking parties... and that I’m not cool enough. I don’t know. I can’t help but feel that I’ll never be a cool or funny person. I already know that I’m neither of those, but I don’t want to continue being a wallflower for the rest of my life. I’m afraid that I’ll have so many regrets once my college years are over. I want to break free and have fun and not be so careful sometimes. But why am I so afraid of being judged?

BTS just had their comeback today and I was listening to their new album, and reflecting on the messages and the theories that came along. Basically, the album kind of communicates about the other side of them that they don’t know about but we should love ourselves nonetheless. I feel like I could relate to this because there’s so many things that I don’t know about myself that I’m scared to find out, which I mentioned earlier. 

I think it’s a life mission for me to get out of my comfort zone and quit being a wallflower all the time. There’s so many things that I don’t know about unless I try it. I need to take chances and venture out. I sincerely want to have fun and enjoy life. 

Anyways, yeah just late-night thoughts.

Feb. 20, 2020

Aight so I’m nervous about design 166 next quarter. I’ve just been so anxious about it lately, knowing that I’m not the most talented or gifted in design. I originally wanted to major in arts and become an animator because I thought that that shit was cool. I love how the colors just melt together and separate on the screen/page to create something. It just vibed with me a lot. I dig it. 

My dream job would probably be becoming an illustrator for a Miyazaki or a Shinkai film (it’s a shit ton of work with very little pay). But as I reflected over it more during winter break, I found myself dragging my hand to grab the pencil. I felt like I needed to put down something on the blank sketch paper before me, not feeling like I wanted to but rather needed to. I just wasn’t feeling the intense fire that once ignited inside me long ago. I knew I loved drawing, but something wasn’t right. I’ve felt like this ever since I entered high school, feeling like my art had to be perfect but I knew I lacked the skills. I thought that maybe I should just keep art as a hobby because I didn’t exactly enjoy forcing myself to draw every day. Are my interests starting to change? I thought that maybe I should just play it safe and get into a major that had good job prospects but is still stable, like business since I do not like STEM nor is my brain wired for it. Should I follow what society has instilled in us and go for the money, or follow what I enjoy doing? But I don’t know what I would do in that field. I knew a friend who wanted to do art but her father convinced her to become an accountant for the sake of money and stability, and she regretted it. She hated her job. 

Then I remembered that my cousin had told me about UX design, which prompted me to do some research. I learned that it was about centering design around user experience and the customer, whether it be a product or a website or an app. I thought that was fascinating because I realized that whatever I wanted to do, I wanted to help others in some way. UX design sounded like the perfect role for an empathetic INFJ personality like me, where I can be creative in my profession and still make a living. So here I am, trying out design next quarter to see if it’s right for me because I’m always uncertain, even if I like something. I hope that I can find out more about myself from this class and see where it takes me. I really do find design intriguing, from the product packaging to visual communication and marketing, but I’m just worried that I lack the skills since UW is so competitive ahhh. I have done some designing in the past and even won the best poster award for a past class project, but I’m trying not to feed my ego because I’m still kind of new to this. 

Anyways, this is starting to become a rant and I just hope that I can do well next quarter and perhaps try to get into the major... >_<