eau de jesse

hi everyone this is my writing sideblog that i havent posted on in forever but if you like kpop still please read my fics. plea

i was not built for college but unfortunately i was also not built for anything else

i was especially not built to be employed

question

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

why does the spinosaurus’ face look so kind tho

because it cares for you and wants the best for you

why is the long john silvers parking lot always empty but when you go in theres 30 old people. how

those arent people