moonlight,

they’re the first day of spring: an introduction to warmer days, of bright sunlight peeping warmth against skin, laughter ringing around the clock. they’re the thought that meanders afloat, he her sun and she his river. he’ll drown in her thoughts and in her mind, she’ll bask in his yellowed beams. together they’ll bloom with the flowers amongst high valleys, with fingers laced in love’s solace. this is what marriage is, after all right?  

wrong. 

but who exactly is she to speak for them when she’s not married herself? despite that, she’s hopeful. her fingers lace around her wrist and lithe fingertips brush at the back of delicate skin, ticklish at the hem of her dress kissing the back of her knees. “i don’t see why not.” she finally responds to him after some time, gaze fixated the the celebrating couple as she folds her limbs. the first dance as a married couple-- she wonders how it could feel and immediately there’s a delicate smile dipping onto her cheeks. a burst of nostalgia runs through her as she remembers stumbling upon her own parent’s wedding photos and videos, replaying to night’s end of their first slow dance. and suddenly there’s a need to share affection so she’s leaning in to press the side of her face against his arm, cheek nuzzling onto the tip of his shoulder as any cat would when marking property. “they look at each other as if they’re so in love and it makes me wish they will.” 

i’m indecisive af but i guess i’ll try writing again here? 

◦ ╱╱  ❪ 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 & 𝒊'𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆. ❫

ft. jinwoo 

red. he’s wearing red and his eyes are burning intensely, passion brewing through the hidden depths of his body. 

easily distracted is something she comes off as and her friends are not surprised. their commands of staying still against the side street fall on deaf ears as a flustered heartbeat skips beneath the hollows of her chest. she’s captured by the pair of pretty eyes and she swears she almost finds herself bumping onto the pedestrian in front of her. red. she stops at a red light and and scurries to the side of her friend, gaze tilting up at the advertisement. there’s a gentle smile on her lips hinted with nostalgia, absentmindedly sailing through the confines of her memories.

how many years has she known him? almost five years, is it? amazing how time flies by so quickly. 

◦ ╱╱  ❪ 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 & 𝒊'𝒍𝒍 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒂 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆. ❫

ft. @parcsite

dulcet laughter echoes as it bubbles freely from her lungs, begrudgingly falling to admit her (exaggerated) excitement. mornings usually consist of busy schedules for him and she’s sure storms don’t come easy-- so the placid smile plastered to his lips almost makes her feel at ease when cancellation of classes are announced, turning and tossing in place at the thought of staying in. their bodies being tucked beneath the warmth of her velvet sheets brings a soft hum to her cherry pink lips, gentle fingers extending out to prod the hems of the chiffon curtains. 

rain, rain, go away, come again some other day. 

hazy clouds loom over the baby blue sky, lids fluttering to a close as dull sunbeams drizzle her lashes. there’s a moment of shared silence between the pair before moving close to his body, fingertips running to trace along the veins of his arm. she’s at a standstill as a comfortable silence envelope the two, a comfortable silence that she’ll never mind. 

tagged by: @melanclia​  ( thank you! )  tagging: @parcsite​ @1konic​ @feralglory​ @euncelee​ @pomeseur​

WEALTH  —

$   financial.  //  wealthy  /  moderate  /  poor  /  in poverty ✚  medical.  //  fit  /  moderate  /  unfit  /  sickly  /  disadvantaged  /  disabled  /  not applicable ✪  class.  //  upper  /  middle-working  /  poor  /  slave  /  unsure ✔  higher education.  //  qualified  /  unqualified  /  studying  /  other  /  none ✖  criminal record.  //  yes, for major crimes  /  yes, for minor crimes  /  no  /  has committed crimes, but has not been caught yet

FAMILY  —

◒  children.  //  has one or more children  /  has no children  /  wants children ◑  relationship with family.  //  close with sibling(s)  /  not close with sibling(s)  /  has no sibling(s)  /  siblings are deceased ◔  affiliation.  //  orphaned  /  adopted  /  disowned (runaway)  /  raised by birth parent(s)  /  not applicable

TRAITS  +  TENDENCIES  —

♦  extrovert  //  introvert  //  in between ♦  disorganized  //  organized  //  in between ♦  close-minded  //  open-minded  //  in between ♦  calm  //  anxious  //  in between ♦  disagreeable  //  agreeable  //  in between ♦  cautious //  reckless  //  in between ♦  patient  //  impatient  //  in between ♦  outspoken  //  reserved  //  in between ♦  leader  //  follower  //  in between ♦  empathetic  //  indifferent  //  in between ♦  optimistic  //  pessimistic  //  in between ♦  traditional  //  modern  //  in between ♦  hardworking  //  lazy  //  in between ♦  cultured  //  uncultured  //  in between ♦  loyal  //  disloyal  //  in between ♦  faithful  //  unfaithful  //  in between

BELIEFS  —

★  faith.  //  monotheist  /  polytheist  /  atheist  /  agnostic  /  it’s complicated  /  N/A ☆  belief in ghosts or spirits.  //  yes  /  no  /  don’t know  /  don’t care ✮  belief in an afterlife.  //  yes  /  no  /  don’t know  /  don’t care  /  it’s complicated ✯  belief in reincarnation.  //  yes  /  no  /  don’t know  /  don’t care  /  it’s complicated ❃  belief in aliens.  //  yes  /  no  /  don’t know  /  don’t care ❀  philosophical.  //  yes  /  no  /  sometimes

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION  —

♦  sexuality.  //  heterosexual  /  homosexual  /  bisexual  /  asexual  /  pansexual  /  demisexual  /  questioning ❥  sex.  //  sex repulsed  /  sex neutral  /  sex favorable ♥  romance.  //  romance repulsed  /  romance neutral  /  romance favorable ❣  sexually.  //  adventurous  /  experienced  /  naive  /  inexperienced  /  curious  /  inhibited ⚧  potential sexual partners.  //  male  /  female  /  other  /  none  /  all ⚧  potential romantic partners.  //  male  /  female  /  other  /  none  /  all

ABILITIES  —

☠  combat skills.  //  excellent  /  good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none ≡  literacy skills.  //  excellent  /  good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none ✍  artistic skills.  //  excellent  /  good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none ✂  technical skills.  //  excellent  /  good  /  moderate  /  poor  /  none

HABITS  —

this is going to be scattered, a little messy. it might not be the longest letter you’ll read but bare with me because it contains all of my kept feelings. at one point i might end up sounding repetitive and for that, i’m sorry. but hear me out, no matter how long this gets. today is your birthday and my heart aches because i cannot spend it with you. it feels like there’s a big chunk of cement buried down my chest because i can’t find the courage to call you in fear that i’ll be pushed away. has your day been great? were you able to spend it with friends? any confirmation that you had a good day will give me a good day too. 

after all, today is your day and you deserve the very best. so let me ramble a little about you and about how special you are to me. 

you laugh so charmingly, always have and always will. i think thats what first attracted me to you: laughter. it’s habitual with you but everything is more fun whenever you’re around, more happier, more fulfilling, even as children who hints of no malice. you might not feel the same towards me but i do to you and on this special day, i want to remind you of how much happiness you bring me, because i don’t think i say it as often as i should. even the shortest conversation with you makes me happy. overall you have a magnet over me and i gravitate towards you, each and every single time. i’ll never complain about it. i can imagine you thinking that words are just words until proven otherwise but i’ll prove it to you, every day, every week, every month, every waking hour if i have to. i will always be a friend to you and you’ll always have me by your side.  

this letter might not suffice for all the missed ones you wrote for me but please know that i’ve poured my heart out into writing this to you. you’ll always have peaks of me that no one else can and will, possessing and owning a side of me no one else will ever reach. just to have someone who understands my mind is a different kind of intimacy, an intimacy i don’t feel with anyone else but you. i feel your arms go around me, holding me tightly and i know i’m safe, i know i’m warm, i know i’m home. you’re soothing like the ocean rushing on the sand, my sunshine in the rain, my tylenol when i’m in pain. if you don’t know what song i’m referencing to.. you should listen to lemonade by jeremy passion. every time it plays i get reminded of you.  

and because i know you love poetry and literature, let me share with you an excerpt from a book i’ve read that also reminded me of you. funny how a lot of things remind me of you these days ㅎㅎㅎ

“I’m often difficult to love. I go through dark periods like the moon and I hide from myself. But I promise I will kiss your wounds when they’re hurting. Even if they’re in your soul, I can find them with the light in my fingertips. I will lead you to the river so you can remember how beautiful it feels to be moved by something that is out of your control. And when our dark periods match, we can breathe with the grass and look at the night sky. The stars will remind us of the beauty in our struggles and we won’t feel lost.“ 

i want to be the star that will remind you of your beauty so that you won’t feel lost. 

생일 축하해 김한재. 

love always, your leia (organa) 🌸 

p.s, i’ll leave these two bracelets with you. the first with the gray beads is called a serenity bracelet. the three cloudy gray beads represent the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. this bracelet should remind you to stay calm and grounded throughout the day. the black bracelet with the white bead is a distance bracelet. it’s a reminder that i exist in two places: here, and where you are. i have the white one with the single black bead-- an internal reminder for myself that you’re always with me too. 

@euncelee​ // ( 30 texts to send my muse )