the fidgeting and finding something to stimulate you so you can distract yourself from what you feel is the opposite of sitting with the feeling. you can be aware of and acknowledge the desire to distract yourself, but instead of actually doing it, choose to meet your anxiety/thoughts/feelings head on. part of this is forcing yourself to breathe through the experience. as you breathe through the emotions that have come up, do whatever you need to do with your body (sometimes when experiencing an intense emotion, sitting up is too intense & laying down, moving in circles, or leaning against a wall feels safer & less panic attack inducing). the more you do this, the more the root of the issue will reveal itself. it could be a sensation in the body, an emotion, a visual/audible/sensory memory. whatever comes up take note of it. once you acknowledge and embrace it you can begin trying to do the work to unpack it, but first awareness is key. hope this helps

heyyyyy, its all good. i think what people regard as sinful and not sinful is highly subjective, and its each persons right to decide for themselves. the word sin comes from archery — to sin is to miss your mark. if sexual chastity is important to you, or you grew up in a society / culture / or religious doctrine that tells you sexual expression is promiscuous, unholy, or impure, then you may feel like self pleasuring is missing your mark, or find it shame / guilt inducing. i personally think that pleasure is natural, and the euphoria it induces is a signal meant to encourage us to continue partaking in it. i also feel that some of the highest spiritual virtues are patience, temperance, discernment, and the ability to withhold from gluttony. these virtues are skills that allow us to seek and find a pleasure that is internal & eternal, opposed to developing a shallow dependency on the ephemeral pleasures of the external world. it means learning where to go forward, and where to hold back. essentially, the question boils down to an argument between feeding the spirit vs feeding the flesh. i think when the spirit is nourished the flesh prospers, because excess is addictive, and dependancy is poisonous and corrupting. however, the flesh is inextricably linked to our spirit and the manifestation of all things occurring within. having the ability to indulge in pleasure is a blessing. (eating ripe fruit = pleasure, basking in sun = pleasure, drinking or swimming in pure water = pleasure etcetc), so we should treat it as such. sex is not only pleasurable but a form of communication and communion with self, other and god (if u believe in god). so where we involve god, we tread with respect and consideration. thats just my opinion though. if u wanna touch yourself and not feel guilty, exposure therapy works best, but go slow & carry an intention of love for self. sending u love

jodeci — im still waiting