heyyyyy, its all good. i think what people regard as sinful and not sinful is highly subjective, and its each persons right to decide for themselves. the word sin comes from archery — to sin is to miss your mark. if sexual chastity is important to you, or you grew up in a society / culture / or religious doctrine that tells you sexual expression is promiscuous, unholy, or impure, then you may feel like self pleasuring is missing your mark, or find it shame / guilt inducing. i personally think that pleasure is natural, and the euphoria it induces is a signal meant to encourage us to continue partaking in it. i also feel that some of the highest spiritual virtues are patience, temperance, discernment, and the ability to withhold from gluttony. these virtues are skills that allow us to seek and find a pleasure that is internal & eternal, opposed to developing a shallow dependency on the ephemeral pleasures of the external world. it means learning where to go forward, and where to hold back. essentially, the question boils down to an argument between feeding the spirit vs feeding the flesh. i think when the spirit is nourished the flesh prospers, because excess is addictive, and dependancy is poisonous and corrupting. however, the flesh is inextricably linked to our spirit and the manifestation of all things occurring within. having the ability to indulge in pleasure is a blessing. (eating ripe fruit = pleasure, basking in sun = pleasure, drinking or swimming in pure water = pleasure etcetc), so we should treat it as such. sex is not only pleasurable but a form of communication and communion with self, other and god (if u believe in god). so where we involve god, we tread with respect and consideration. thats just my opinion though. if u wanna touch yourself and not feel guilty, exposure therapy works best, but go slow & carry an intention of love for self. sending u love

jodeci — im still waiting

thought i deleted that tbh. — everything is just so fast sometimes. i wanna act according to the virtues i hold close and uphold the principles i believe in, whilst working toward and achieving the tangible goals i have. and usually i do a decent job of it. but on days where subconsciously held thoughts or feelings come to the surface i find it hard to remain open hearted and let shit go. so far the best way ive found to process whats coming up + find a solution to deal with it, is to get introspective and take space away or do an activity that allows me to metabolise my thoughts and emotions. having to go do something (e.g having to work every day), makes that incredibly challenging. not impossible, but challenging. if something comes up whilst i need to show up in a professional capacity, the easiest route to coping is to suppress it, but in doing so close myself off to my emotions. i dont want to do that for obvious reasons but also because that leads me to find outlets for those feelings that feed vices id rather not indulge in, yfm. sooo, if i could pause time, remove my brain and see these problems from a birds eye view, maybe i could tweak, rewire or clean out the debris, and get my mind right enough to not just be a person i like and am proud of, but also a more highly functioning member of society.