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@nadventure
Dan apa2 yang terhalang dari jalan kita mungkin adalah cara allah menunjukkan ikhtiar kita yang belum cukup atau penghalang dari mudharat.
Tapi kecewa itu tak bergeming, begini rasanya jatuh, rasanya meragukan diri sendiri.
Ya Allah, jadikan sabar dan syukur sebagai penolongku dan jauhkan aku dari prasangka buruk pada-Mu.
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(C.B)(12.4.18)
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What is life but a place where we trade some oxygen with poisoned air and trying too hard to be alive just to find our deathbed.
As the tiniest fragment of me trying hard to believe that happiness is just around the corner, most of the nerves in my brain shrieking to me, "No! You're fooling your fudging self! Who wants to share a life with someone so messed up like you!". So dear, how can I hold onto that little fragile fragment, when all the things I've read in your writings shouting that you've had enough of me, that I'm a total disappointment.
I'm trying hard to breathe the Earth's air, but suffocate myself instead.
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It was a very long road, it still is. But it only means I got a chance to go on an epic road trip of a lifetime.
After you're gone I was sad and gloomy, and a little bit lonely. But I don't mind, we're all but a speck of dust in this vast universe, swam the same place called Earth just in a different passage of time. So, it's OK if I'm still sad and gloomy, and of course a little bit lonely. Cause friend, we'll soon meet again.
One of my favourite movies đĨ
Howl's Moving Castle (2004) is a Japanese animation movie loose adaptation from a novel (1986) with the same name written by Diana Wynne Jones.
I was first watched it on my undergraduate sophomore year (2010). Then I watched it on saturday night sometime after my graduation (2014) and also a few days after the announcement of my Master's scholarship acceptance (2016). Now I watched it again one and a half years after my thesis defense (2020), a flipping 16 years after the movie was released.
Why? I wonder myself. I got this feeling of romantic tragedy from this film, and I got really curious of Howl's and Sophie's back stories. That's why I watch it again and again, because I am imagining the idea of extended stories of them. Why did they ended up where they were, the way they are and why Howl's even think of associated with Sophie at the first time. He did help her hushed away scoundrels, but why? He seems so familiar and comfortable with her while he depicted later as an introverted figure, so sad and stretched.
Is there no animation production house that wants to remake the film into series? It's gonna be epic! Ones can only hope really!
It hurts more because it is true :')
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I hope life treating you well, I've never been too often come home, almost never said I love you. But all the prayers and wishes of happiness are endless for you. I know I'm not a perfect daughter, I will probably never be, but I I will do my best efforts as your daughter. You might never come across this post, but I hope you could feel the warmth of my prayers for you đ
On my last trip to the wilderness I got to realise, it was not travel that I hope would be able to alleviate my upset heart. It is upon meeting with different people during those journeys that I have been trying to do to find new pieces of myself. After I got back from the trip, I too realised, it wasn't solitude that I was trying to find in my home, but probably the scattered and some missing pieces of my old self, the one I tried to put together so that I can be whole again by filling in missing spaces with new pieces I found during my trip.
But then, what should I do to walk away from this swirling darkness in my head? What if I never found the right pieces to fill in those empty spaces? If no amount of efforts could've mend my broken self, what can?
