I literally told myself (and you guys) that my previous post would be the absolute last one I upload for March 2026. But, I'm making a massive exception today because my first love is celebrating his birthday!

Yep, happy March 23rd to the main man!

Happy birthday to my incredibly cool and hip Papa, who is basically the reigning champion of every tennis tournament he enters! We had a big family gathering today to celebrate him, and honestly, the cutest and funniest part of it all? His birthday cake was a Tiramisu—which just so happens to be my (his second daughter's) absolute favorite cake. He is seriously too cute, I can't even!

So, here’s my little message for papa:

As your second, slightly mischievous, and definitely the most stubborn daughter, I want to wish my dearest Papa the absolute best for everything ahead. I hope you find even more happiness in your slow-living retirement era, and please just do the things that bring you absolute joy!

Also, even though you never pressure me to get married anytime soon... I mean, I wouldn't exactly say no if one of your friends' sons wanted to hit me up, haha!

Love you so much, Pa! Please stay happy and healthy always for me, Abang, and Adik! May Allah always bless you forever and ever!

Banyak dari kita yang mungkin langsung berpikir, "Nah, akhirnya dia sadar juga betapa berharganya aku." Tapi, tunggu dulu. Seringnya, bukan itu alasannya.

Cowok yang kembali setelah ngeghosting itu biasanya bukan karena dia tiba-tiba melihat nilaimu yang sesungguhnya. Mereka kembali karena merasa kehilangan akses. Saat kamu berhenti memberi perhatian, berhenti merespons, dan berhenti menyediakan kedekatan, mereka baru merasa ada yang hilang.

Penting untuk dicatat: kembali bukan berarti cinta.

Terkadang, mereka hanya rindu pada kenyamanan dan semua perhatian yang dulu kamu berikan. Ingat ya, orang yang benar benar tulus menginginkanmu tidak perlu kehilanganmu dulu untuk menyadari betapa berharganya dirimu.

a short little song i wrote once upon a sleepy morning :)

this is my last post for march, since i'll be busy with out-of-town activities for the next few days. so, to wrap up my posts for march 2026, and for the first time ever, yours truly, Tirra, is posting a voice memo of me singing while learning guitar.

you only get to meet me once, in one season, for a lifetime.

I'm honestly not sure if I regret us. Because in my heart I'm mad, I'm upset that you acted the way you did. I'm not good on asking for “ reassurance ” because words are just words afterall.

My mind quiets down after seeing the action itself. I thought you would be the way I thought of you, thinking that you love me or loved me. But it made me realize that I have been the one truly needing you. Which is why you said I changed, because I was the one chasing at first until I got hurt of feeling that it was turning one sided. I'm not really special to you, I wasn't special to you.

You would go on “ love ” another girl if not for me that I found myself to be in your life that night. It hurt to see you find someone else so easily and loving them. Like all of the words you said before was all just lies. That your begging was just pretending to want me to stay. Because you're so open to reassure someone else right after we ended. You made me feel so stupid.

Back into the days and nights of me crying over your absence but you were already enjoying yourself in someone elses. I said harsh things to you out of anger, because you hurt me. I hate to admit but I honestly just wanted you to sincerely say sorry and that you really cant lose me. But I already lost who I fell inlove with. You already took the ending of a one week of talking stage with another girl your “ karma ”.

There's a senior cleaning lady in my office, Bu Mey. Every morning, like clockwork, she finds her way to my desk. It seems I’m the only one she feels comfortable confiding in, sharing little snippets of her life, her worries, and her joys.

Today was different.

She approached me with tears already welling up in her eyes. Before I could even ask what was wrong, she suddenly asked me a question, her voice trembling slightly.

"Tirra, are you still single?"

I was a bit taken aback, but I answered honestly. "Hmm, yeah, Bu Mey. I guess I am. To be honest, I haven't been interested in finding a partner, and I probably don't want to get married."

"What made you start thinking like that?" she asked, her curiosity momentarily piercing through her sadness.

"I'm just happy on my own," I explained. "And I have no interest in letting a man into my life when I have no idea if he'll be faithful or if he'll be good to me and my family in the long run."

That's when the dam broke. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at me with a pained intensity.

"Yeah, Tirra," she whispered. "Please, don't you ever rush into marriage. I needed to talk about this, and you're the only one I feel comfortable telling, not any of the other girls in this office. I'm about to make a very hard decision for me and my children... I'm going to divorce my husband. He's been caught cheating for the third time."

She took a shaky breath. "You are such a good and sincere girl, a true listener. It would break my heart to see you get hurt by the wrong partner. Don't be like me, who had too many children too soon and now has to think a thousand times before making this difficult choice."

I was completely speechless. All I could do was sit there, looking into her eyes, trying to offer some silent, steady comfort as her tears fell. I had to fight to hold back my own.

It's moments like these that hit you hard. How incredibly difficult is it to maintain a relationship between two people who are supposed to be happy and peaceful partners until the end of their days? How hard is it to build and maintain consistent trust and commitment?

It makes you think. Sometimes you find someone amazing, but you’re separated by something as fundamental as faith. I once had to walk away from someone because I knew my principles wouldn't allow us to get serious, even though we had a connection. We shared the same understanding of devotion, just to different things.

And to you, the one who is always there, faithfully reading every word I post on this private Tumblr of mine… Thank you. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read the random thoughts I share to refresh my brain from office tasks. I truly hope you are always blessed in every step of your life's journey. May some of my writings spark an idea, an insight, or a little bit of inspiration that you can use as motivation for your own personal character development.

Of course, I can help with that. It sounds like you're going through a whirlwind of emotions right now. It's completely understandable why you feel that way.

Here is the translation of the quote, incorporated into the second paragraph as you requested, and the full text in everyday English.

Let's start with this one guy. He's basically a stranger—a virtual friend I met about three months ago. I eventually had to "force" myself to just adopt him as my annoying little brother. Why? Because he literally only shows up when he’s stuck and miserable. His precious ex finally decided to move on and block all access for them to get back together, so of course, he comes crying to me. He hit me up again recently with his classic "I miss you" BS, talking absolute nonsense, and as always, ending up confused about his own life. Honestly, I'm pretty chill about it. But my friends? They are absolutely sick and annoyed by this kid. The irony is, he knows damn well that I've been in the exact same position as his ex. Make it make sense, right? But then he said something so sweet and touching that it makes it hard for me to stay mad at this annoying kid. He said:

"For whatever you've been through, I'm honestly so proud of you. As for what happened with your first ex, I hope you can accept it with an open heart. If the breakup happened because he treated you badly, I pray you find a man who can give you all the love you deserve and be a worthy husband someday. But if the breakup was your fault, I hope you can learn from it and not repeat the same mistake with someone new. People don't always listen, and sometimes you just want to be heard, right? Whatever is happening in your life, don't carry it all by yourself, okay? If you feel like the world is being cruel, I'll gladly make space and time for you. I know you have a lot of people, but if they're not around, don't forget you can always come to me. I'll always be there. I'll listen to whatever you have to say, your stories, your complaints. If you're sad, don't let it linger for too long. When you get what you want, don't forget to be grateful. If you're tired, from work or anything else, don't forget to take a break, okay? Whatever it is, feel free to contact me^^"

(And I can't forget about his signature emoji (^^ and cony kiss on line app. I have a total love-hate relationship with it, but it was a huge part of my first impression of him)

As if dealing with him wasn't enough, two of my actual exes casually approached me over the last few days. One of them had the nerve to ask to meet up, while the other invited me to go street photography hunting in Malang... again. Like, really guys? Now?

And the absolute cherry on top? My first love is getting married. Yep, the physical wedding invitation has officially landed right here in my hands.

Can you feel what it’s like to be me right now? It's a lot.

But honestly, thank God I have my family and my solid circle of friends. They are the ones keeping me totally sane right now. Between battling my mental illness, dealing with my autoimmune condition, and going through my spinal physiotherapy, life is already an extreme sport. Yet, I'm still here, keeping my cheerful vibe alive, even though I definitely have my moody days that I just can't avoid. I am so incredibly grateful and blessed to have them in my corner.