international house of psychos

Imagine a standard history textbook having to explain who Seth Rogen and James Franco are

i can kill yo short ass with my brain you fucking maple leaf don’t get got

Take notes kids, this how you don’t promote your product.

In French, we don’t say “ninety nine”, we say “quatre vingt dix neuf” which roughly translates to “I’ve never heard of a functional numeric system before” and I think that’s beautiful

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

*breaks the law* *duct tapes it back together*

imagine a dog

*slams fists on table* THIS IS THE CONTENT I’M HERE FOR

guy : so i was getting a glass of water (a glass is just a commonly used cylinder closed off on the bottom in order to hold liquids btw)

dont catch feelings you’ll die

no offense but why am i a dumb bitch who doesnt take her own advice

I love vintage stuff but I’m so glad I can enjoy them in the 21st century with my iphone, wifi and slightly more human rights 

somebody gets it.

If a guy ever spreads a rumor that he slept with you, don’t deny it. One, because there will always be people who think it’s true, and two, because that dumbass boy just handed you the power to say anything you want about what he’s like in bed, and people will believe it. Say he bleats like a sheep when he orgasms. Say he put on pearl earrings and asked you to call him Daisy. Say he couldn’t get it up until he watched an old Billy Mays infomercial. The power is yours.

This is my new favorite post