ꩇׁׅ݊𝓊𝓁𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒷𝓁♡𝓈𝓈♡ꩇ

₊˚⊹♡TOP LESSONS LEARNT 

Missing out gives you progress on your goals. So many times this year, I didn’t do things that I usually would’ve loved to do to make and maintain progress on my

goals. Simple things like cancelling plans, buying certain things and any other short-term pleasures. Allowing myself to overcome FOMO, and in return, I saw great progress in my goals. 

People hating you has nothing to do with you. I dislike a lot of things because it's my personal preference. Someone who decides to hate you is a matter of their preference. However, if they choose to show that hatred to you, it's a matter of projection. People will project onto you as a way to cope with their own life, cause they can’t deal with their own. 

Stop letting everything control you. Truly, you’re held back from nothing in life. Your circumstances, identity, environment and more can only hold you back so far. At one point, you’ve gotta start acting and stop blaming everything around you on why you can’t. This one… is still in progress for me. I do feel like my parents are a major factor in me being held back, but deeper down, I also feel that it's an excuse to not work up to my potential. 

Trying to fit in is fruitless. I wear and listen to what I want. I decide what kind of content I want to consume, and what food I want to eat. This generation is notorious for tearing down anyone who doesn’t fit in a cookie cutter. Allowing your authenticity to shine through, will guide those who are meant for you, to you!

All problems are temporary. This one does not apply to everything, but it applies to a lot of things. Your issues will not last forever, so don’t let it leave a permanent mark on you. Don’t let your situation deter you from your goals.

₊˚⊹♡ACHIEVEMENTS 

It's small, but I feel like I’ve created my room to be fully intentional for me. While it still can be improved, my room is much better in terms of clutter and decor compared to 2023. 

Consistent practicing soft social skills like keeping up small chats, giving compliments and handling disagreements gracefully. I ended the year with all B’s! Last semester was a bit of a flunk for me, but I managed to pull it up for the end of the year. 

Saved like 500$ for purchasing things off my wishlist. 

Read like 12ish books for 2024. Would’ve loved to read more, but I was in a reading slump and also didn’t have enough time to go out to my local library to borrow any books. 

Hey there girlies, I'm back again on my Tumblr page. Sorry for disappearing again, I have been on a slump since May.

I'm coming back since I will be using my page as a daily journal to track my progress. I have been given the opportunity to visit China as my academic exchange program, but I need to credit my English with an exam and get on this semester the highest GAP, including that I want to reinforce my current Italian level and improve my health (I'm not okay). I know that publishing my progress everyday with you will keep me feel motivated and connected.

Btw, I also have been through changes. I'm more into navy, red, dark colors and a style between a clean girl and "city girl"? I feel like I'm growing up as a person, it feels scary to change the identity I worked so hard to achieve but I'm looking forward to it. Since I study Internatinal Business and look very good with dark colors I know I will slay haha.

I'll keep you updated, and I will catch up on this blog.

- Nessa ୨୧

• Journals instead of oversharing online or with the wrong people

• Ends relationships that don’t align, instead of changing herself

• Says 'no' to anything below her standards

• Steers clear of drama

• Prioritizes self care, health & growth

• Avoids jealousy & competition with other women

• Makes time for creativity & hobbies

• Values quality over quantity

• Responds with grace, not impulse

• Boundaries

set your intention:

what use do you want to make of social media?

which apps do you want to keep using and which not (or reduce their consumption)?

how much time are you spending on it? how much do you want to spend on it?

establishes limits of use:

you can activate or deactivate certain applications when you are no longer using them so that they do not distract you or add a time limit depending on how much time or how many days a week you want to use the app.

how to set the time of use?:

ios:

settings > usage time > limit app usage > add limit

you can also limit apps only in focus, work, do not disturb or whatever mode you have set.

settings > focus > the category in which you want to activate it > focus filters

android:

settings > well-being and parental controls > set time for your apps

pros and cons:

make a list of where social media is good for you and where it is bad for you. anything that is hurting you stop watching or following.

value your real time:

not having social media or having control over it brings you more in your life and personal growth. for example, how many of us have woken up and the first thing we have done was to look at instagram or another social network and that has made us lose time of our morning? instead you can do a short meditation or breathing to start the day off right, it also reduces stress and anxiety.

just think about how much you spend a week being stuck in social media and imagine what activities you could develop in that time.

other tips:

look for an activity you would like to try

socialize more with your friends

keep your cell phone away from you or in a “do not disturb” or “concentration” mode when you are engaged in an activity

spend more time in nature

uninstall or deactivate those apps that no longer benefit you, try it for a while.

don't take anything personally from what people may share there.

conclusions:

when you have a routine, things to do, you don't pay as much attention to being online all the time, so it's not such a hard task. i'm not saying stop using your phone but i'm writing this post for all those people who spend all day scrolling or really spend a lot of time watching tik tok or instagram, that's not healthy in the end.

How do we craft a personality that is socially charming yet true to our roots?

How do we mingle and meet new people without feeling awkward or shy about it?

How do we not lose ourselves while following all these blah blah etiquette rules?

Welcome to part 2 of my Chic Girl Mentality series. 🤍

Today, we will focus on crafting a personality that is still you but better.

First, let’s talk about people in social settings. You’ll meet people who are confident, secure and socially charming. You’ll meet quiet people who may be equally socially charming or just very shy and conscious. You’ll meet the braggers and the doe-eyed followers. There’s a lot of different types of people in the world and knowing how to gracefully navigate most of them is nothing but a learned art.

People, regardless of their bank balance, are insecure of what they do not have yet. This can be looks, money, experience, lifestyle, and so on. How do we capitalise on this without exploiting or manipulating anyone?

By knowing how to tell a story.

That doesn’t mean that you need to become a public speaker or politician, it just means that you need to be able to craft intriguing stories about yourself, using your own life and experiences, to “sell” an interesting version of you socially. We’re all interesting people but only a few of us know how to say that we’re interesting without saying that we’re interesting.

Experience 

People, even those with money, will always be more attracted to those who have experiences, especially, unique ones. Whether it’s travelling to exotic locations or trying new culinary destinations, or wearing unknown designers, knowing obscure artists or writers, or being at the top of your industry… experience is the most important thing to cultivate first.  You already have experience. If you went to school, high school, college, joined clubs, your first job, any travelling, etc - these are all experiences.

Make a list of 5 of the most interesting experiences you think you have.

Hobbies and interests 

Have a couple of lowkey hobbies that you feel enthusiastic about. Whether it’s doing some charity work on Sundays, or cooking, or pottery, whatever it is, keeping a hobby is healthy. 

There should be something to you that an acquaintance can remark about: “CSB? Oh yes, I’ve heard that she’s a great dancer.” 

Vulnerabilities 

Certain vulnerabilities must never, ever be shared. It will 100% be used either as gossip or blackmail. 

However, coming across as someone with no weaknesses is rather untrustworthy- it makes the other person feel that you’re clearly hiding something. 

Make a list of vulnerabilities that are small and you don’t mind sharing. These should be vulnerabilities that will never ruin your reputation in any form but can be used as a form of bonding with empathy. 

And make a list of hard core vulnerabilities you know you should never share with anyone. Keep it memorised rather than written down. 

Experience + Hobbies or Interests + Safe Vulnerabilities = Personality

Storytelling 

Now that you have some experience, hobbies, interests, and your “safe” vulnerabilities sorted even if it’s limited - what will make it stand out is the art of storytelling. Some storytellers can make even the most mundane experiences sound magical - it’s all in the words and delivery. There’s a reason why every Holy Book is a story, packed with lessons and morals - it’s impactful, easy to remember and recall and relatable. Craft your experiences into stories. Use those 5 experiences that you noted down and start writing them down as stories.

Take up an online storytelling class or watch videos. Start honing this skill by writing and reading good literature. 

Refine your 5 experiences further. Run it through chatGPT, say them out loud and most importantly- start testing them out on people. See what makes them chuckle and what doesn’t; what makes them empathise and what doesn’t.

A famous comedian whose name I can’t remember does the same thing. He creates his set. He goes to a small pub and tries it out on the audience there. And the first set is always the first. The audience may not laugh at his jokes, they might boo him or sometimes, he might get a laugh out of them. But every time, he goes home and refines his set further. Once his set is fully refined, and he accomplishes his goal of the audience peeling with laughter at every joke, that’s when he goes on national TV / on tour etc etc.

The most important thing is to craft your stories of your experiences in a way that it delivers the value you want the person to remember about you.

For instance, if I want to be seen as creative and innovative, I won’t tell the person in front of me, “oh, I’m soo innovative and creative!”

Rather I will weave that into a story. “When I was 24, at my first job in the advertising space, we were losing clients left and right. And one weekend, I was on a trek on the mountains - it’s one of my hobbies - this idea hit me, and I suddenly knew exactly how to get our clients back. My team was hesitant about my idea, and we got a lot of pushback, but we went ahead. The night before my launch I was so nervous, I got hardly sleep. And you won’t believe it, but the idea worked! The response was fantastic.”

Let the other person come to the conclusion of you being innovative and creative. Human beings love to deduce things and jump to conclusions and provided you set the context the right way, you should be able to project the version of you that is the best part of you.

Vocabulary 

A sign of a good education- even if you don’t have it - is a diverse vocabulary. I’ve always had a little more respect and awe for those who are articulate, can speak smoothly and speak confidently. I’ve noticed that my American friends, for instance, tend to talk fast with lots of filler words, and sentences tend to end with a pitch up instead of down, which to me indicates hesitation or indecision. Speaking slower, ending your sentences with pitch going down to indicate a full stop rather than up makes you seem like a refined speaker even if your subject is utterly stupid. 

Body language and mannerisms, social interaction 

Watch old classic Hollywood movies to really understand this - especially romantic ones. Choose ones with a femme fatale or siren-like female lead, and watch how she enraptures the male lead or the audience around her. 

A combination of fantastic storytelling and body language will take you places beyond your dreams. Some of the biggest frauds, scammers, politicians, criminals are also some of the best storytellers. Humans are attracted to stories, we pick up body language intuitively, we can sense when someone is nervous or isn’t. Unfortunately the world isn’t a kind place and will not necessarily help you out of your shyness- in fact, that might just make you the best target for exploitation. 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE CHIC ;

what does it mean to be chic? the word chic is used a lot in conversation but it actually has two meanings. chic (adjective) means to be elegantly and stylishly fashionable. but the meaning of chic that we are going to focus on in todays post is the noun.

CHIC (noun) : stylishness and elegance, typically of a specified kind…💬🎀

when i think of chic people like audrey hepburn and coco chanel. who do you think of when u think of the word chic? once you've thought of people who pop up in ur mind when u think of chic, think about what makes them chic? is it their clothes? the way that they carry and present themselves? is it their influence etc.

everyone has their own inner well of creativity and inspiration. being ur own source of motivation and inspiration takes others off of the pedestal and puts u on it instead…💬🎀

IDENTIFY UR PASSIONS ;

through identifying what things ur passionate about, ur tapping into what lights ur soul on fire. start passion projects. a passion project is exactly what it sounds like and its an amazing way to use ur own creativity and also serves as something to go back to when ur longing for that inspiration again.

this post is inspired by an inbox question i answered on wednesday so i wanted to elaborate on things that make me feel more feminine and how to BE more feminine…💬🎀

SURROUNDING MYSELF WITH WOMEN ;

surrounding myself with women and making more friendships with women then with men has helped my femininity so much i feel. because like, as a woman we can relate to each other more and often times female friendships are just so much more pure and beautiful.