pancake

The ideal household has three people in it: one who would rather cook for three than ever have to do laundry or dishes, one who would rather do three peoples' dishes than ever have to cook or do laundry, and one who would rather do three peoples' laundry than ever have to cook or wash dishes.

My family has started calling my cat "the beast" which is very funny considering she's a 19yo arthritic old lady who needs help up and down the stairs. Not to mention she doesn't really meow any more, just sits and stares at you, and im the only one who can reliably guess what she wants, so my parents are constantly messaging me "The beast awakens... I know not what she desires 😥😥" i feel like the chosen prophet of an eldritch god

I KNOW zagreus would have been a great big brother to melinoe. Why? He never fell for the cycles of abuse and negligence in their family. He loved wholeheartedly, listened, and tried and tried again for his family AND his own happiness. He would have never, ever allowed his younger sibling to go through the hardships of his own childhood. Melinoe would have been LOVED and CHERISHED

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

When my great grandpa was on his deathbed my grandpa (his son) was with him and says his last words were “I told them they shouldn’t have hanged that woman. Well by damn they’re paying now” and no one in my family knows what the fuck that means

We were driving through Old Country once and my grandpa Sasha randomly went “oh this is where we blew up that bridge as kids, I guess it got rebuilt”

I want slower packages delivered by transportation workers who are paid more to work less and I'm not kidding

@mortuarybees​: #i think its deeply important for all of us to come to terms with the fact that its actually fine to be mildly inconvenienced

in order to catch a break you have to think like a break