MythBusters Facts

ADAM: (grinning like a maniac as usual) "Jamie. The fans have spoken. Paper cuts apparently hurt more than regular cuts. More nerve endings, cleaner edges, something about the wound staying open longer—people swear it's true."

JAMIE: (skeptical) "If the fans on the fansite told you to jump off a cliff, would you do it?"

ADAM: "Great idea, let's table that for next season."

JAMIE: "So how are we testing this?"

ADAM: (holding up a single sheet of 80gsm office paper like it's Excalibur) "Behold. The weapon of mass irritation."

TORY: "I'm starting to regret volunteering for the 'quick pain myth' segment."

Adam grips the sheet of paper and with theatrical slowness draws the edge across the underside of Tory's wrist.

The moment the edge catches skin, Tory's entire body language changes.

TORY: (voice jumping an octave) "OHHHH—WHAT THE—"

JAMIE: "Sounds like a dumb idea to me. It won't work, you'll make a mess and it won't even taste good."

ADAM: "That’s where you’re wrong! It’s all about the suction. I’ve rigged this industrial shop-vac to a modified snorkel. I’m going to place the pod in the intake, create a seal with my mouth, and suck the essence of the bean directly into my bloodstream!"

JAMIE: "You’re going to collapse a lung."

ADAM: "But think of the efficiency!"

Adam and Jamie stand at that table with blueprints all over it.

ADAM: (grinning like a maniac) "Jamie, are you familiar with the Monster Mash?"

JAMIE: (arms folded, skeptical) "I've heard of it."

ADAM: "That song claims that the 'Monster Mash' was, and I quote, a 'Graveyard Smash.'"

JAMIE: "It’s a figure of speech. It means the party was a success. It’s metaphorical."

ADAM: "But what if it isn't? What if a 'Graveyard Smash' is a measurable, physical event? Can you actually 'mash' a graveyard into a pulp using only the power of a monster-themed impact? Imagine a massive amount of kinetic energy. We’re talking a five-ton beast dropped from at least two hundred feet."

JAMIE: "That sounds completely unhinged."

ADAM: (excitement levels rising) "And to make it authentic, we’ve put Tory in a coffin at the bottom of the impact zone to see if he survives the 'mash'!"

JAMIE: (looking up) "What are you doing."

ADAM: "Boooooooooooooooiiiiiiiii"

JAMIE: "What myth are we testing."

ADAM: "My longest yeah boi ever."

JAMIE: "Result?"

ADAM: “Years ago we tested the myth that, under extreme pressure, a water heater can launch through your roof like a missile. The answer was yes.”

JAMIE: “But the fans are saying we didn’t push it far enough.”

ADAM: “Normally we’d build a fake house as a test rig.”

JAMIE: “Today we didn’t feel like it.”

ADAM: “So that's why we're in the basement of this Best Western hotel.”

JAMIE: “Without permission.”

ADAM: “And to make it even spicier, we're filling the water heater with gasoline!”

HOTEL MANAGER (walking in): “Uh—what’s going on down here?”

ADAM: (grinning) “Jamie, tonight… I become the light.”

JAMIE: (deadpan) “You’re going to poison yourself.”

ADAM: “That’s what they said about early aviation. And now we have airplanes.”

Montage: Adam cracking open glow sticks, pouring the glowing liquid into a blender, adding whipped cream “for texture.”

KARI (off-camera): “That’s not food-safe.”

Jump cut – 45 minutes later. The lights are off. Adam is glowing from the stomach up.