A Lesbian Caught in Thunder

“It’s like opening an all you can eat vegan buffet but sneaking salami into all the dishes. When you complain, they kick you out and call you a pork exclusionary radical vegan.”

Or like some article I started to read today that was a profile of this man who allegedly was like this really bright smart young man who then developed paranoid schizophrenia but went to yale law, like they were pitching movies based on his life story, and the next line was “then he killed his pregnant fiancee” and it was framed like oh isn’t that so sad that this man isn’t beloved now. And I was like HE KILLED HIS FEMALE PARTNER AND YOU EXPECT ME TO FEEL FUCKING SORRY FOR THIS ASSHOLE? I didn’t even read the rest of the article, I was so steamed.

Or! The article I got ADVERTISED on this site, sins of the father, which portrayed itself as a story of a father lost to covid misinformation who got in a legal battle with his wife about vaccinating their son, but when I read it he was just a creepy crazy weirdo who pressured and emotionally abused this woman into a quick marriage and pregnancy then kept her away from any support for years then when she finally gets the strength to leave him she has to go through this battle over vaccinating their son and just as it appears she’s finally won, the husband and son are found dead. Murder suicide. And not ONCE, NEVER ONCE IN THIS FUCKING ARTICLE DID THE AUTHOR LINK TO THE OVERWHELMING STATISTICS ABOUT ABUSIVE MEN AND THE RISKS TO THEIR CHILDREN!!!! Not ONCE!!!!! Like that is bad fucking journalism to leave that out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like to me this is why feminist analysis anywhere in any context matters and is important. Everyone forgets women’s stories women’s lives women’s realities women’s takes unless someone out there makes a point to be like “hey, you forgot a really important piece of the puzzle.” And tbh I think it’s getting worse because you can’t say woman now and nobody is allowed to admit they know what it means and just FUCK it makes me so fucking angry!

Liberal feminism is far more popular in the first world because it appeals to women privileged on other axies who believe in the capitalist, meritocratic myth. Women who are sold the idea of having it all: full gender conformity, fairytale husband and kids plus capitalist success.

This is a basic skill that will be useful for you but also will expand your horizons in a lot of ways.

I run a server with multiple masc/butch women who don't adhere to gender roles and they're all 'terfs'. I am a masculine woman and regularly encourage the women around me to not shave and not do shit they don't want to do. Trans people are so religiously devoted to gender roles that if you ask basically all of them "what made you know you're trans" they'd say some stupid shit like "oh, I always really liked boy things so I realized I'm not a girl". How is that NOT the most "dedicated to gender roles" shit alive?

"Butch lesbians have been targeted by terf ideology because they are “too masculine” and thus are accused of being trans women."

You mean as opposed to trans people who will look at a masculine woman and say that she must be a trans man or a they/them? There are literally multiple tik toks made by women who don't shave/have short hair/wear masculine clothing who say stuff like "I look like this and STILL get called a woman" as if being non feminine should signal to others that they're not women.

"This just proves that you have never once spoken to a trans person ever."

What proves that? I've talked to multiple trans people and still think how I do. There are people who have IDENTIFIED as trans and come out the other end realizing that it's bullshit. What do you have to say to them? Have you ever talked to a 'terf'? Actually sat down and talked to them and why they believe what they do?

"You just parrot what other people say despite it coming from their ass."

Women who do trauma cleaning and no-judgement cleanings as their jobs to help people with severe mental illnesses. I think it's an area of women's work that isn't really talked about. Plenty of women are so passionate about doing this work that they start their own businesses.

Think about the different angles in which this is so incredibly helpful to not just the individuals but society. Less people likely struggle with ongoing health conditions because of this work. More social connections are probably made because these residents no longer afraid to invite professional, personal, and romantic contacts over after these cleans are done. Higher work productivity because these residents are not constantly thinking about the big overwhelming cleaning task in the back of their minds whether they work from home or not. Less damage done to the home if this is dealt with. Less vet bills being spent on really sick animals who might live there. General overall ability for people with mental health conditions to improve psychologically.

It's incredibly disgusting and time consuming work, yet it seems like many of these women genuinely find the helping other people aspect of it really rewarding.

And then there's also just women who are doing this for fucking free for the people they love:

Men do patriarchy to girls everywhere, every chance they can. Boys are doing patriarchy to girls in schools, parks, homes, etc.

Where and when do women do feminism, liberation, etc. to girls? They might include girls and what affects girls as an afterthought on topics about women and what affects women.

Women will consider girls, after they have considered boys, after they have considered men, after they have considered women, such as in the topic: “Who will be allowed in women’s spaces?” Naturally, one starts with women, and then women’s beloved mirror variant; it’s usually good enough to stop there, since that covers essentially everything in most people’s world, but if one has time and the inclination, one can then progress to variants on the variant. And then, if one is simply indulgent, they can think about the remainder; and the remainder is really only relevant in relation to the variants on the variants. (And even there, girls lose to everything else. Eco-feminism is a wide and rich tradition in feminism, and filia-feminism does not exist.)

And the topic goes like this: “Women’s spaces shouldn’t include men.” “What about some men?” “Which some men?” “These some men.” “Not these some men?” “What about these some men?” “No men!” “But maybe some men?” “Oh no! No men. Only our sons.” “Those are some men!” “And what about the girls they’ll encounter?” This is always the order of consideration, (should any women feel it necessary to think that far), whether the conversation is two or two thousand sentences long.

Boys and men come from, do not exist without, and so are dependent on women; they resent this, wish it was not so, and work to make it not so, however delusional and impossible that might be.

Women come from, do not exist without, and so are dependent on girls; they resent this, wish it was not so, and work to make it not so, however delusional and impossible that might be.

(One might wonder what it is that girls come from, and resent, and work against. Perhaps “God”.)

A (radical) feminism that does not center girls, the root of woman, is collaboration with and by what separates her from that root. With men, via sex, etc. It’s not just couple’s therapy, but family therapy, and celebrations against / on top of girls. Motherhood, marriage, sex, gender, etc. are all ways of destroying girls.

I just want to add that eco feminism is the only branch of feminism that I’ve seen take girls seriously. Girls are the priority in eco feminism and women are secondary. Only the liberation, education, and health of all girls globally can stabilize our ecosystem. So, naturally, eco feminism is often led by girls. There are famous eco feminists who began their activism when they were just girls. Animals and nature are children’s first window into society and politics. And girls take radical actions to defend nature even while adults try to teach them to exploit it.

If feminism needs to care about girls, then feminism needs to care about the things girls care about. Animals, trees, food, sports, school, art, songs, friendship bracelets. Yes, seriously. Yes these are things girls care about and yes these are serious topics.

Girls observe the way adults ignore the lives of animals and so they strongly relate to animals. Girls’ mental and physical health is intertwined with all the rest of the lifeforms in an ecosystem. Girls all over the world are malnourished while boys are given more food. Girls aren’t given enough opportunities to play sports or to just play in general. Girls are kept out of school. Girls develop fine motor and artistic skills more quickly than boys but we never celebrate them for it. Girls keep culture alive by singing old songs and inventing new ones but we never thank them for it. Girls make gifts for each other that are full of meaning and value but we ignore their genius economic model.

The main reason they think they don't have PTSD usually has to do with flashbacks and nightmares, either they have one but not the other or have neither. But here's the thing, those are only two symptoms out of the 23-odd recognized symptoms. Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the five symptoms under Criterion B (Intrusion), which you only need one of for a diagnosis. The other three symptoms are unwanted upsetting memories, emotional distress after being reminded of trauma and physical reactivity after being reminded of trauma (i.e. shaking, sweating, heart racing, feeling sick, nauseous or faint, etc). Therefore you can have both flashbacks and nightmares, one but not the other, or neither and still have PTSD.

In fact, a lot of the reasons people give me for why they don't think they have PTSD are literally a part of the diagnostic criteria.

"Oh, I can barely remember most parts of my trauma anyway." Criterion D (Negative Alterations in Cognition and Mood) includes inability to recall key features of the trauma.

"Oh but I don't get upset about my trauma that often because I avoid thinking of it or being around things that remind me of it most of the time." Criterion C (Avoidance) includes avoiding trauma-related thoughts or feelings and avoiding trauma-related external reminders, and you literally cannot get diagnosed if you don't have at least one of those two symptoms.

"Oh I just have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep, but I don't have nightmares." Criterion E (Alterations in Arousal and Reactivity) includes difficulting sleeping outside of nightmares.

"But I didn't have many/any trauma symptoms until a long time after the trauma happened." There's literally an entire specification for that.

Really it just shows how despite being one of the most well-known mental illnesses, people really don't know much about PTSD. If you have trauma, I ask you to at least look at the criteria before you decide you don't have PTSD. Hell, even if you don't have trauma, look at the criteria anyway because there are so many symptoms in there that just are not talked about.

He gets a text from a woman and immediately his mind goes to sex (because what else are women good for amiright), and because he’s already created a sexual situation in his head, he asks her her age, and when she tells him, he implies that she wanted more than what she asked for, which was literally just the review, implying it’s her fault that he objectified her & “made him feel like a pervert” for not stating her age to begin with… you know, because it wasn’t relevant, because she was just asking for a review.

Sex with an 18 year old as a 21 year old also isn’t illegal like anywhere that I know of?… but sex was never on the table, so it really doesn’t matter.

Then, he calls her a slur for “exposing him” despite the fact that she blacked out his name. He has to preface that he “doesn’t even follow her” because of course he has to pretend like he wasn’t ever interested in her despite evidence to the contrary, and then claims that everything he did, listed above^, was him “being a gentleman”.

So he’s not just a dumbass, he’s a total prick. And his drunkenness only exposes what kind of a person he is, that shit is basically truth serum.