I will write my words to the Stars

"Elsa!" Shit. Her social worker had been called? "There you are- I got a call that you had run off at the courthouse and no one could find you! What happened?"

"Is she alright?" Oh, fuck, even her mom was still there?! "Baby, what happened? Are you okay?" Okay. Okay, okay, okay, she could do this. She just had to come up with a good excuse- "Oh, baby, did you get overwhelmed?"

Oh. Well, hello excuse. Even if it came at the cost of her mom treating her like she was the little kid that got taken away from her. Well. Might as well lean into it.

Quickly, Elsa nodded and averted her eyes, not looking at any of them as she stayed silent. Silence, she figured, would work better than her trying to dig a grave for herself by making even more excuses. It would also give the impression she was 'upset,' whatever they decided that meant.

"Elsa, it's okay for you to get overwhelmed, but you can't just run off like you did." Her social worker said, not falling for her silence trick. "You can talk to us if you need to." Yeah, right.

"It's okay, I know this is a lot," her mom said, unintentionally giving her a reason to keep silent. "She was just moved to a new home not long ago, wasn't she? And a new school? That alone has to be overwhelming for her, I can't imagine adding on all of this is easy, either."

Her social worker seemed to frown, but Elsa didn't get to try and figure out why before her mom was speaking at her again, "Where did you go, Elsa? Did you go back to where you're currently staying? That home you're in?"

Well, if her mom was going to do all of the work for her, who was Elsa to deny it. She nodded along to the new excuse. She then steeled herself when her caseworker, the one who actually treated her like her age, asked, "And that was all today? Just got overwhelmed?"

"Like mom said, it's a lot." Elsa tried not to think on how she almost tripped over the word 'mom.' It was probably something she should talk about, just like she should talk about how she didn't want to go back to live with her mom, but… Elsa wasn't nice, but she wasn't cruel. She wasn't going to say that when her mom was right there and worried about her. "I…"

"Panicked?" Her mom took a step forward, but she didn't try to touch her, thankfully. With some of the initial adrenaline dying down now that no one was yelling at her, Elsa noticed that her mom looked better. She still seemed tired, but less than the last time Elsa had seen her, and her clothes were better. Less worn. "Honey, what did you panic about? Was it about the idea of finally going home?"

Behind her, Elsa noticed her caseworker and social worker were sharing looks with each other, one of them whispering something quietly. Elsa wasn't sure if she was feeling dread or hope, but either way she did something she did rarely and kept her mouth shut as she nodded along. She could feel the end of the conversation approaching, she just had to keep it headed there.

It could have been a minute or it could have been hours, but finally her social worker spoke loud enough for her to hear, "Well, we've already been given a rescheduled appointment by the court, so for now, why don't I take Elsa back to where she's staying?"

"I think that's a good idea," her caseworker said, looking back towards Elsa. "It's getting close to dinner time, after all, and we can always talk about this another day." Ah, so the conversation wasn't over, then, but just pushed back.

Before Elsa could think whether she wanted to say anything, she felt arms wrap around her. She froze, not sure what to do as she realized her mom was hugging her tightly. Frozen, she could only listen as she said, "Goodbye, baby. I'll see you soon — and next time, if you want, I can bring Dean! You two can finally meet."

Her mom squeezed her tightly before stepping back and letting go. Elsa did her best to appear unaffected even as it felt like she had something on her that she wanted to get off. Neither her caseworker or social worker seemed to notice, her social worker just heading for the parking lot. "Come on, Elsa, let's get going."

"Bye," Elsa said, avoiding her mom's gaze as she quickly followed after her social worker. She at least waited until she was in the car and buckled in to ask, "Am I in trouble?"

"No." Well, at least there was that. "You're not in trouble. We're not going to be upset at you if you really are just overwhelmed. We can't always control our actions when that happens, and running away to somewhere you felt safe was one of the better things you could have done. Not the best, but better."

Her social worker started the car, checked all the mirrors, and started pulling out of her parking spot before she finally asked, "Did you really go back home, though?"

"Where else would I have gone?" Elsa asked, forcing herself to not react in a way that would be seen as guilty. "School was already out for the day and clubs end early on Fridays."

"You're twelve. I know that means you're not a little kid who doesn't know what's going on, but that doesn't mean you're a teenager, yet. There's still a lot of danger out there even if you were older. You can't just run off and hope things will be alright."

"That wasn't what I did," Elsa said, tone firm because she knew it was something true. She had gone somewhere she felt safe, after all. She had only met Matthew twice, but with his warm smiles and the way he talked as if he got it, he was one of the safer places she could have gone.

Her social worker didn't immediately respond, instead staying quiet as she drove them back towards Rob and Linda's place. It was as they were almost there that her social worker said, "I called and spoke with Linda after you left." Ah, shit. "I know you weren't there, but I didn't tell her you ran away at the courthouse. She just thinks I called to remind you."

"Thanks…" Elsa said slowly before falling silent and nibbling on the inside of her cheek. She wasn't sure how to ask what she wanted to ask, but luckily it was done for her.

"So, where did you really run to?"

"A clothing store," Elsa said, hoping that it was honest enough she wouldn't be caught out. "Somewhere out of the way so I could just… calm down."

"Okay." Ah, the 'okay' of she didn't fully believe her, but she didn't really think she was straight up lying, either. Quieter, she repeated, "Okay." as they pulled up to the house. "But, Elsa, you know we're here to help you, right? You can tell us if something is wrong or if you're uncomfortable with where you're staying. You have that right."

"I…" She had a choice, she realized. She could either keep playing nice and say she was fine and go through with getting taken by her mom, or she could say she wasn't really comfortable with that. The truth was, she wasn't comfortable anywhere, but she wasn't sure that was something she could really say. "Actually, I…"

Sighing, and watching the basketball finally land in the lap of one of the gossiping old ladies, Elsa prayed the day would go by quickly.

She was regretting that prayer when she found herself stepping off the bus and looking up at the courthouse before she could even plan on what she actually wanted to say to her mom. Weren’t prayers supposed to go ignored?

“Elsa!” Ah, crap. Her caseworker was already there. Why did she have to choose that day to actually be on time? “There you are. I was worried you wouldn’t make it in time for the appointment.”

“Here I am,” Elsa parroted weakly, hands clenching tightly onto the straps of her backpack. “Is she…?” Elsa wasn’t sure what she wanted to ask, really, but her caseworker seemed to fill in the blank for her.

“Your mom is already here and waiting for you.” With that, she pointed up towards the top of the courthouse stairs where… There was her mom. Long blonde hair that was the same color as Elsa’s, an okay outfit that actually looked alright on her, and that stupid black leather purse that she always, always had whenever Elsa saw her. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” She was more than ready to go and get out of there. Already she could see her mom waving at her and Elsa could only remember those early days. The ones everyone thought she didn’t remember. Being hungry. Being cold. Being alone. Wanting something.

And now they wanted her to go back to that? Already her caseworker was moving to climb the steps, Elsa taking a step forward to follow her before stopping.

She looked down at herself and noticed her hands were white from how tightly she was clutching onto her backpack. She also noticed the hairs on the back of her arms standing up from where she was cold. Because she didn’t have her jacket. She wanted her jacket.

Unlike before when she was in shock and was only half-aware of what was going on, this time Elsa was in full control of herself as she screwed up her face and spat, “Forget this.”

With that, she turned away from the courthouse, from her mom and her caseworker and adults who decided they knew better than her, and ran for the bus stop just down the block. For once, luck seemed to be on her side. The bus she needed was pulling up and she was already at the door before she heard her name being yelled after her.

Thankfully, bus drivers were used to yelling. By the time anyone could have caught up to her, the bus was already pulling off and driving the exact direction Elsa really needed to go. She wanted her jacket, after all.

— — —

Elsa refused to give herself time to overthink anything. Instead, she pushed open the door to a shop that was not meant for kids like her and called out, “Hello?”

Thankfully, mercifully, the store was empty of customers so she didn’t embarrass herself because instead of shouting out she should have just walked up to the counter and asked like a normal person-

“Well if it isn’t the little designer.” Looking around at the voice, Elsa saw the man from yesterday, Matthew, standing up from where he had been adjusting the ends of a gown on a mannequin. “You ready to see your design come to life and get those final alterations?”

“Only if you’re alright with me asking a million questions,” Elsa said honestly, eyes darting around just like they had yesterday as she looked from outfit to outfit. She was resisting the urge to get out her sketchbook and start drawing again, but she was definitely making mental notes on what she wanted to add to her designs from yesterday.

“I welcome any and all curiosity — especially about fabrics and design.” Oh, yeah, she definitely liked this guy. “If you’re comfortable with it, do you want to come back to the room we were in yesterday?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Hands loose at her side, Elsa couldn’t resist feeling a few of the fabrics as she followed Matthew to the fitting room they had used yesterday. The texture differences were incredible. Could clothes really be that diverse?

“Alright, just hop up on this stand like you did yesterday and I’ll get that jacket.” Elsa did as asked, silently pleased that Matthew was speaking to her like an actual person and not a toddler who was scared of the world. “Do you want to close your eyes for the grand reveal?”

“You ask that like you’re joking, but I definitely am going to do that now.” Without anyone else in the shop, Elsa felt a lot more at ease at being her normal self. It also helped that Desi’s bodyguard wasn’t in the corner glaring at everyone and everything.

So, since it was empty, she felt comfortable enough to close her eyes and patiently wait for Matthew’s footsteps. Thankfully, she could actually hear them even against the carpeted floor. So she wasn’t too surprised when, from what sounded like a few feet away, he said, “Alright, arms out.”

Straightening out her arms like she did yesterday, Elsa jumped only a little when she felt Matthew putting the jacket on her arm-by-arm. It was a little weird, but he was quick about it, so it wasn’t too bad. Still. She was impatient. “Can I open my eyes now?”

Matthew chuckled, the sound quiet and nice, before she could feel him tugging and moving the jacket. “Give me just a few minutes to make some last-minute alterations. I promise the final result will be worth it.”

“Fine. I’m trusting you,” Elsa said mock-seriously, grinning at yet another laugh. Still, agreeing was one thing, but actually standing there with her eyes closed while someone moved around her and adjusted her clothes was… weird. Not bad, just not something she thought would be happening to her anytime soon.

Matthew was really quick about it, though, and somehow Elsa barely felt much before he was stepping back and speaking up again. “Alright. I think that’s going to do it… Let me just turn you towards the mirror here and… Open.”

Opening her eyes, Elsa looked into the mirror and felt herself stop breathing entirely. There, right in the mirror, was her. She was wearing her jacket. The one she had sketched and colored and worked on for weeks because she knew she would never have it in real life so she at least wanted to draw it. But it wasn’t just a drawing anymore.

The outside was as fuzzy and soft as she had imagined, the faux fur an off-color cream white that made her skin look almost warmer. Less like she was pale and washed out like she tended to look. The cuffs were a soft, knitted sort of fabric that ended just past her wrists, resting gently on her palms. It seemed like it had enough stretch and give that she could push it up her arms if she ever needed to.

The collar had a similar look and feel as the cuffs, resting against her neck softly and not causing any sort of itching or irritation at all. The jacket itself wasn’t causing any itching or irritation like a lot of clothes did for her — and it had fake fur! When she ran a hand over it though, it was just soft.

“You should see the inside lining.” Following the unspoken advice, Elsa lifted one edge of the jacket to look at the lining in the mirror and didn’t even have a chance at swallowing her gasp.

The material had felt soft, but she saw it was that same silk-like blue fabric she had been admiring yesterday. The glittering pattern looked as amazing as it had when she first saw it and, somehow, likely through dark magic, she didn’t feel anything but the soft silk texture against her arms.

“Like it?” At the question, Elsa looked up at Matthew and then back into the mirror at herself. She looked… maybe not older, but more like herself.

“That’s a stupid question,” Elsa managed to get out, mentally chanting that she would not cry. “I’m pretty sure you’re a god in human form. This is…” She didn’t have words, but she figured Matthew got it by the way he was laughing and smiling.

“So, then, where’s my million questions I was promised?”

That was all it took to have Elsa opening her mouth and asking about everything. The fabric, the way it fit her so well, the way it felt soft, why it felt thicker than it sort of should, everything.

Matthew answered every question she had, leading her towards the front counter where he wrote something down in a notebook even as he kept answering and smiling at her.

When she finally ran out of questions, he pulled something out from under the counter, smiling at her.

“Before you leave, one last thing.” Matthew held out a wooden case that had the symbol she had seen on the glass windows of the store. The symbol was right in the middle and a soft white, Elsa unable to tell if it had been carved into the polished wood or painted on. “It comes with the jacket.”

“Really?” Elsa raised an eyebrow, knowing the ‘it’s definitely not a handout’ tone of voice well by that point.

“Hush. Let me support a budding designer.” With that, Matthew opened the case and turned it around so Elsa could see it was a sewing kit. Not only that, it was a really, really nice sewing kit.

There were spools of threads in the most common colors, multiple different kinds of sewing needles, one of those looper things that made it so you didn’t want to scream when threading a needle, and even measuring tape and a pair of scissors and some other odds and ends she didn’t recognize at first sight.

“Everything you need to start learning how to sew,” Matthew said, sounding as if this was just an average day for him and like he wasn’t changing a twelve-year-old’s life. “Piece of advice?” Unable to speak, Elsa just nodded. “Start by cutting up an old shirt and practice sewing those cuts closed. Not only will it help you get used to working with a needle and thread, but it’ll give you a jump on knowing some basic stitches if you choose to really get into all of this.”

“This is…” It was a lot. The jacket was one thing. Desi had paid for that because Elsa had pretty much saved his life. That wasn’t really a hand-out. The case, though?

“Think of it as me thanking you for helping out an old friend of mine out of a bad situation.” Matthew’s smile didn’t so much as waver and Elsa clutched onto the case because he got it. She wasn’t used to adults getting it.

“Oh. One last thing. That jacket of yours?” Matthew leaned over the counter and propped a fist under his chin, grinning in a way that looked smug. “The inside layers are the same material I use to make Desi’s jackets.” Alright? That was a little…

“The bulletproof ones?!” Elsa didn’t even care that she was yelling, the store was empty and Matthew was laughing, it was fine, but come on! She had a bulletproof jacket?! It was official. This was her favorite adult in the world. She could easily spend the rest of her curfew time here asking questions.

Now if she could just figure out what she was going to do about her less favorite adults in the world.