I eat Jon, it's what I do

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

Apolitically killing bandits and savages in my video game with no messages

asked the skyrim bandits why they were living in a cave and they explained the war effort has buried the economy so they can't find work and lost their homes. I use my shout to blast them across the cave and find a preeeetty nice sword among their belongings

She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.

#let’s evolve with mama

obviously I take no pleasure whatsoever in tenderly caring for you while you're sick and writhing in bed with a fever

comforting you while you're vulnerable, running my fingers through your disheveled hair, placing a cold compress to your skin, flushed and hot to the touch, etc.

what do you take me for - some kind of pervert?