Seeking Haven

So I know yesterday I said that my plan was to keep running this blog until I'd finished up my plots in servers, so that I could then quit them and here at the same time. . . I've decided not to wait. As of now, I'm no longer RPing here. I'm going to begin reaching out to folks to say goodbyes, and responding to those who already did, and I plan to be gone entirely from here and my other RP blogs by the end of the week. I know this seems sudden, but it's a decision I've been really wanting to make for some time. I just didn't have it in me to let go til now, but trust me it's what's best. Thanks so much for making my time here fantastic. And to those of you I never got to actually write with, I'm very sorry, I promise I did intend to. But this is what it is, and it's what's better for me at this point. Again, thanks all of y'all, you really made things special and I'd never have lasted this long without you.

So in March, I quit the X.men boards I was at, but remained at two servers out of a sense of obligation. Last night I sent the admins of both this message: "Hi there, I know this is a big thing so a quick response certainly isn’t needed/expected. But I was wondering if we could work towards a plot in the future—doesn’t need to be the near future either—that includes Shaw’s death in the server canon? I just feel increasingly disinterested in continuing to be in the Marvel/X.Men fandom, and I want to eventually disconnect from…everything. But I also don’t want to just drop him ASAP and leave, I’d like to play out our stories to the fullest first. Even if it takes six months, a year, more. That’s fine. I sincerely want to fulfill my commitment to this server and get the most out of doing so, and have a great time with the people here, not just up and vanish one day at random. But since I also do want to eventually go, I’d like to do it on a good note that helps the story out. Can we plan something like that? Again, does not need to be immediate at all." Both of them agreed to plan something with me. My goal is to see it through to the end, then leave the servers and this blog as well as my Haven, my multi, and the Tumblr RPC entirely. I just really can't take the bad feelings anymore; I think the L//ourdes retcon was the nail in the coffin even if I rode it out initially. I don't know when that will be. Server plots can take a long time. Of course, I may just snap and leave here sooner. Speaking of snap, this wasn't a snap decision. It's something I've been considering hard since last year. I love you guys and you bring me a lot of joy, but that joy is increasingly outweighed by frustration, anger, and despair, and that's just ridiculous for a comic book roleplay hobby. I've gotta get out. And it's not today, even if tbh I kinda want it to be rn, but I wanted to give you notice before starting anything new with me.

So in March, I quit the X.men boards I was at, but remained at two servers out of a sense of obligation. Last night I sent the admins of both this message: "Hi there, I know this is a big thing so a quick response certainly isn’t needed/expected. But I was wondering if we could work towards a plot in the future—doesn’t need to be the near future either—that includes Shaw’s death in the server canon? I just feel increasingly disinterested in continuing to be in the Marvel/X.Men fandom, and I want to eventually disconnect from…everything. But I also don’t want to just drop him ASAP and leave, I’d like to play out our stories to the fullest first. Even if it takes six months, a year, more. That’s fine. I sincerely want to fulfill my commitment to this server and get the most out of doing so, and have a great time with the people here, not just up and vanish one day at random. But since I also do want to eventually go, I’d like to do it on a good note that helps the story out. Can we plan something like that? Again, does not need to be immediate at all." Both of them agreed to plan something with me. My goal is to see it through to the end, then leave the servers and this blog as well as my Haven, my multi, and the Tumblr RPC entirely. I just really can't take the bad feelings anymore; I think the L//ourdes retcon was the nail in the coffin even if I rode it out initially. I don't know when that will be. Server plots can take a long time. Of course, I may just snap and leave here sooner. Speaking of snap, this wasn't a snap decision. It's something I've been considering hard since last year. I love you guys and you bring me a lot of joy, but that joy is increasingly outweighed by frustration, anger, and despair, and that's just ridiculous for a comic book roleplay hobby. I've gotta get out. And it's not today, even if tbh I kinda want it to be rn, but I wanted to give you notice before starting anything new with me.

“But of course,” Haven promised. She did want to know why Shiori was crying. But she didn’t want to start prying until Shiori was actually warm and comfortable and out of this downpour. If she tried too much too fast, Shiori might jump back in her shell and not go with her, and be out here, cold and wet and unsafe. So questions could wait til that bear claw.  “Happy coincidence this time. Third time you probably should be concerned. After all, you were followed before,” she said, recalling their first meeting. Again, she was in the precarious place of wanting Shiori to trust her, but not trust strangers in general, as a young woman, a girl, who to all appearances seemed to be alone.  “But no, in this case I was in the area. I’m staying in this town right now. My work brought me here. What about you?” Not asking where she lived, which would be very dangerous from a stranger. Just. . .what she was doing here, and Shiori could give as vague or specific an answer as she wished. No pressure. 

Crack hc the Marvel office actually keeps offering to bring Haven back but she keeps politely declining “oh no, I’m quite fine here, thank you so much :))”

The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you

Babe, uncomfortable feelings are a part of life. They will come, as they have right now. They will go, as they always have. Then they’ll come back again, but they’ll also go again. There is no ‘peak existence’ that doesn’t include emotional discomfort. So, make some space for it, watch your little show, eat a little treat— a little enjoyment can co-exist with your discomfort. Try again tomorrow.