MY MIND IS IN A MILLION PEICES

I will never get tired of dragons but honestly I’m ready for more fantasy protagonists to ride around on giant flying sea slugs

The eggpplant rider

People call my humor subtle

Pukicho I can tell you with utmost certainty that your humor is anything but subtle.

I’ve hidden secret weapons across each state, what else would you call it?

That’s not humor.

I greatly regret my actions

DON'T

this is. oddly threatening 

i apologize. i meant it as a direct, unambiguous threat

when Gaud’s done there will be 1 snake island and it will be the entirety of texas

it’s cute you think i would allow texas to continue existing in any form

Its cute that you think I would allow you eliminate the area I plan to realease my flying tarantula snakes.

I’m so handsome. I look at myself in the mirror and I just have to break the glass because I am so ugly, don’t wanna look at me.

Same, I think of pikachu as cute but if I saw him I would probably find you ugly too.

flippin love trees with buzzcuts

We have those in our town, if not cut regularly they look ugly as fuck

a typical Chosen One protagonist but they spend the entire book trying to evade their cosmic responsibilities 

How dare you describe my life

i find it strange that the Hooters business model is legal actually

Why wouldnt it be? They sell food. Its not their fault that all their waitresses have tig ol bitties

Loved when nintendo got bored of mario and luigi so they made them babies and it solved the economic crash of 2008

Babies have always been worth a lot of money, i dont know why you're suprised.

THEY DIDN'T SELL BABY MARIO

You're right, they sold thousands of baby marios and luigi's. Genius.

Loved when nintendo got bored of mario and luigi so they made them babies and it solved the economic crash of 2008

Babies have always been worth a lot of money, i dont know why you're suprised.

when u don’t trim your toenails

When you need extra storage for toe jam

Feeling highly ambiguous tonight

Like in a sexy way?

So... yes?

They mean do you like dogs or cats.

i dont have a fursona but i think it’s cool and imaginative so many of you do!

what’s your dream animal to have in your house as a friend?

octopus that does the dishes

I think we all know the real reason why he wants an octopus.

Fast-paced action movie but the whole time the hero is trying to sneak away for a few minutes so she can finish the last chapter of her book

How dare you describe my best life

Borderlands IS funny, its fucking hilarious dude

*points huge crooked finger at you* GAMER GAMER GAMER GAMER GAMER