MyNameIsLJ

I guess whatever happens happens. Sometimes I wish, God didn't make jealously, bc I'm always thinking that u'll end up with someone else and I'd be heartbroken. Reminds me of Cry by Rihanna. I would never cry though. I literally can't anymore. I don't know what else to talk about. Gtg! Lasagna is ready. Yum yum!

I hate his stupid ass guts! UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I told him several times that I turned in his freaking play ideas. And what does he do? Ignore me! I should throw a brick at him and watch it bounce it off....Asshole. I hate him. He's my least favorite teacher now. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Wth doesn't he listen?! Is he racist!? I haven't done anything bad to him. I listen to what he says, I take his notes without complaining, I study his class, and I try my best. He just turns around not even paying attention to anything I say. I sent him another email asking him why I have a fucking 85 in his class. I am not failing his class like MOST people. I am not letting him make me fail out of IB. No one is making me. He is going to change this fucking grade whether he likes it or not. I'm getting Mrs. Hill into this and I know she will listen to me. I always listen to her and I never get in trouble by her. I don't do anything to any teacher. I listen to what they say and I study. Even Math. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING DIFFUCLT?!!??!!?!?!!?!?!?!?! I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU! WHY R U HATING ME!? I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT MY GRADES AND MY FUTURE! I AM NOT GOING TO BE A TEACHER OR A JANITOR! I am going to be successful in life. I will make a lot of money, have a nice house, nice clothes, eat on a daily basis, have a wonderful job, and have a nice life. I will not turn out like you, Mr. Sponic. A Theatre Arts teacher ruining people's grades just because you can't be what we are. Educated students trying to get somewhere. Thanks, real mature.

Look Mom! No Pants!

Idk if the audition for Govenors School went well...I'll see when the letter comes. I didn't really do anything productive today. I did wooden letters of my friends names and took pictures and put them on Facebook. Everyone likes them. I am SO bored...I don't feel like doing my project or do my hw...the very 1st time I don't feel like doing it...I finished my book...now I have to research the book. Ugh...I REALLY don't feel like it. I probably will though...In a few hours..Thank god it's not Sunday. If it was I would probably fail my project.

I am so nervous! I have my Governors Audition this weekend. My family are financial problems and I don't know if I will able to get there to even do my audition. I am changing the songs I'm singing for the audition and I'm pretty sure I'll have it memorized by Saturday. I am singing "I Give Myself Away" and "Believer". I hope I will be at least considered for Vocals. I rather get into Vocals then Creative Writing, but if I get into Creative Writing and not Vocals I'll be disappointed, but happen someone likes my writing. But, if I don't get into either, then I'm considering myself a failure. These are the 2 things that I'm good at and I hope I don't get rejected from this program, because this is the most important thing in my life right now. And if I don't get in, then I have to have my family laugh at me for trying something that I will never get into. They actually placed bets to see if I will get in or not....They also placed a bet to see how long I was going to stay in IB...they lost that one...I hope they lose this one too...

truth and stop being so childish about it. I don't want you think. I don't even know why I ever liked u. It ruined our friendship. Ur so immature and u treat me like dirt when I'm trying to make a conversation with u. I'll change the freaking play. I told u over and over that is a draft and it wasn't the final. At least I actually had my play. U and ur procrastinating self. I hate u...I wish u would just go away. My past feelings for u are coming out and ur hurting me. Ur making my life hell...and u don't even know it. I just want to leave here. My family, and my friends don't ever freaking listen to me. I call them they ignore me like I'm invisible. What is it? Is it the way I act? The way I talk? They way I dress? What the f*** is it? I need to know. I can't stand being ignored. And when I don't talk they ask, "What's wrong?" and then I try to explain and they cut me off like I wasn't even freaking speaking. It is so rude and I just want to curse them out. If u didn't want to know then don't ask me. Florence people r making me sick and three states above SC seems pretty good right now....

TYLER!

Trapped the closet

I haven't been thinking of the Bungee Jumper at all lately. I hope it won't change when I see him tomorrow. I hate having these feelings even though I was rejected. I keep on listening to music on my IPod, so I don't have to think and it's working so far. I hate this! I need to stop thinking about him! He doesn't like me and he never will. I just need to keep on telling myself that. Even though I almost starting hyperventilating when I saw a picture of him of Facebook with a white shirt on. I almost died he looked so freaking hot. *cough* Sexy as hell..*cough* Goodness, I could not stop smiling after I saw that. But, I got sad again as I remembered that he just wants to stay friends. Bummer...his loss...jk..It's my loss. *sigh* I hope I don't stay alone forever. I don't wanna. I want a sweet guy that will compliment me, love me, kiss me, and cherish me. And he would always talk about what he would do if he never met me. But, this is just reality. I wish it was true. I'll get over him...soon...Right now I'm numb.

I have had a lot of drama at my school. One, is I have recently told the guy I like that I like him. Hmmm..didn't turn out so good. So, I am trying to get over him and my friend...hmmm...how do I say this? She likes him again. That kind pissed me off. I mean I am trying to get rid of my feelings for this guy and then she comes in. I think the guy that I am trying to get rid of the feelings from, likes her. So, if they just so happen to get together, I will jump out of my state and leave. I can not take the feelings of jealously, remorse, and hatred. I will have to leave all my friends behind, make new ones and hopefully find another one. Idk..I'm trying. I am getting so sad that every single one of my songs are sad and I'm trying to find a upbeat song to listen to, so I won't cry. I almost cried and I had a major headache. It hurt so much like it was ripping my head apart. I am so sick of drama and heartache. I don't want to tell my friend that she should not talk to him, because I don't want to take her from the one happiness she has. So, should I just forget about it and let my friend take him and let me be or should I tell her? What to choose what to choose? I don't know what I am going to do. I may tell her. I don't know. I'll decide later. All I want to do is find a guy that likes me for who I am and won't reject me and won't break my heart in pieces. I'll get over it sooner or later...maybe...I'm just glad I told him now, so I don't have to spend my whole entire life wondering if I should have token that step and asked him if I liked him. But, I didn't want to know the answer at the same time. I don't know what happened. I was just taking my Spanish exam and I look up and he is taking his and, then I wonder "Why don't I do it? It doesn't matter it is." I was so so sad when I was writing the text explaining why I need to let him go. I did not want to let him go. I hated not knowing though. Now I do and it was the answer I expected. Hopefully...(HOPEFULLY) there is a guy that will like me as I wished he did.

I love Snow! I was so happy when it snowed. Me and my sister walked down the street taking pictures with my IPod Touch...It was fun...Well here are some pics of me and my sis...

My sister and me!