⋅˚₊‧ ୨Mafin୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

summary: everybody calls u by ur last name, hoping that ur last name turned into his.

"hi [last name]!" "[last name]! hey over here!" "yo [last name]."

it's not that i'm bothered by it but when did this all start? after all, i do have an first name. all these racing around my head. i don't know why do i become so hyperfocused on something i can't necessarily control? it's just a name.

"hey [last name]!" i look up from my phone, a familar voice speaking out in contrast to the loud classroom.

"how did u do on the math test last week?" he looks back from the desk he's sitting at, smiling and waiting for what i'm about to say.

i sigh, knowing my response. "i got an 83%. not horrible but this is the worst test grade i've gotten so far."

"ahh. yeah that math unit was hella hard. i'm pretty sure our whole GRADE was confused." he also sighs, looking out the window.

i zone out, focusing on his features. although we've been friends for 2 years, i've always admired him from a far. not only his face but how he is as a person. i've never seen him ever yell, get mad or anything. it's like he's never had any flaws.

i'm taken out of my enchantment as the bell rings. great.

"good morning everyone! the bell has rung, which is our cue to learn!" honestly, how is my math teacher so peppy, even in the morning?

i watch him turn around to face front, his fluffy hair blocking my view.

there is just something about him. his face, his personality, his hair. all of it creates a huge whirly feeling inside my chest.

i'm sure this is what love feels like but why? i've been friends with him for 2 years. to have not felt something like this within that time? or maybe i have always felt this type of feeling in my body.

you're becoming hyperfocused on yourself again. oopsies. moving on.

i've always thought about the future, my future. who i would have as friends and who i wouldn't. my house, my job, my husband and kids. trying to imagine all those things is hard but i still find myself to include him in all those categories, especially the husband department.

over the next couple days, the thought of him as my boyfriend and husband has been eating at me. i mean how could i ignore it? i talk to him everyday, see him everyday. it's like i can't escape him.

just the thought about being called 'mrs. [his last name]' has me kicking my feet. i think at this point, with the amount of thinking i have done over him, i need to accept the fact i am in love with this idiot.

"[last name], you okay? you look like really out of it." oops, forgot i was at lunch. wish i was in my own little bubble, away from the world.

"huh? oh yeah sorry, just thinking." i chuckle nervously.

he speaks up. "oooh thinking about what?" he wiggles his eyebrows, up and down.

"oh my god, shut up." i slap his shoulder. "it's not like that. just thinking about future is all."

"am i in it?" wiggling his eyebrows, again.

yes, you are. and in it, i'm your loving, patient, supportive wife, with your last name. mrs. [his last name].

i recorded these at the ferndale show on august 4th. at the concert, the band announced they've written seven new songs and are going to start working on a new album this winter.

uploading them as audio tracks because the videos were making my laptop eat shit.