I know you’ll probably never see this. But I’m writing it anyway.
Like most Swifties I’ve been patiently awaiting the release of Lover, which literally dropped minutes ago. Normally I’d listen in order to the album. But this time, I had to listen to one particular song first.
You see, on March 3rd 2019, my mom had a massive brain aneurysm and subsequent strokes. I was 20. I was away at college, studying for a midterm, when I got the frantic call from my dad.
It was and probably forever will be the worst day of my life.
Almost six months later, and my life has completely changed. After 53 days in the ICU, she was moved to rehab, where she’s still working on getting better. Since she’s been in the hospital, I’ve turned 21 and lost my 104 year old grandma, who my mom had taken care of in recent years (just shy of her 105th birthday). Both of which I’ve faced alone, without her by my side.
So, when I saw “You’ll Soon Get Better” on the tracklist and learned it was about your relationship with your mother.... it spoke to me.
My mom was my best friend. She was the person I’d turn to for advice, that I’d text every morning and every night, my shopping buddy, my shoulder to cry on.
And now, even though she’s still here, everything is different. The strong, independent and unbelievably incredible supermom who made me everything I am today can’t walk on her own. She can’t speak anymore, and there’s no words I can string together to describe how much I miss our conversations. Her voice. Everything.
Your music was central to my teen life. I honestly can’t tell you how many times I listened to Speak Now, memorizing the lyrics from front to back, before attending the LA show as my first concert. The times I BLASTED All Too Well while lying on my bedroom floor, crying over some dumb highschool boy (eventually, after probably the 32nd time, to my mother’s chagrin). Whenever I felt heartbroken, hopeful, or emotions I couldn’t quite place, your music was there for me.
I can’t put into words just how much your new song means to me.
It encompasses everything I’ve felt and experienced these past six months, even the feelings and thoughts I couldn’t quite face. So here I am, sitting in my bedroom, listening to your music and writing this post, sobbing.
But this time the tears are different. Because I know that in this experience I’m not alone. You’re talking to me. Through your song.
And it means the world to me.
So from a long time fan.... I just want to thank you Taylor. Thank you for sharing your experiences with your fans in a way that is raw and real. Thank you for choosing to include this song on Lover. I hope she’ll get better soon too.
@taylorswift @taylornation
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