Call me Tony

“You said the same thing about Paris.” There’s never time to relax. They had responsibilities, if not here then back home. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Now focus.“

“We totally could have had drinks on top of the Eiffel Tower.  You’re just a buzzkill.” 

“I’m happy with Gotham as my base, Mister Stark. If I ever care to leave, I’ll be going to California with the Titans. I’m sure the Avengers will be fine without me.”

“I just think with that amount of money, it could go towards something more constructive than strippers.”

“Bruce, my man,” Tony put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder, “there is nothing more constructive than providing a group of nice girls with their daily bread.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit overkill?”

“What? Nonsense!  We’ll invite everyone who’s anyone, and strippers. Lots of strippers.  At least 20 strippers.”

“I’m sure we could.”

“That settles it! We’ll rent out the civic center, and the hotel.”

“You know what they say, I’m the party guy. Nice to met you Mr. Stark.”

“Pleasure’s all yours.  You know, between your finances and my--more finances--we could throw the party of a lifetime.”

“It’d be nice if you didn’t sound so excited, Tony.”

“It’s Nassau, Cap.  Practically a free vacation.  We clear out the Hydra base, led SHIELD handle the stragglers, then hit the beach-- and the women.”

“Okay–well at least it’s not the Brave references again. And it was fine, Tony–I got the job done.”

“Liiiiitle bit too close.  You don’t want to hit the merchandise,” he motioned to his face with a sweep of his hand.

No wifing in the club Gimme twenty dollars Gimme twenty dollars Gimme twenty dollars No wifing in the club Rose got me bent all night I’ve been watching you got short pinned all night She a barbie and you been playing ken all night You a sucka she got you for your rent all night Play ya position in the club or gimme 20 dollarz No kissing in the club or gimme 20 dollarz No tricking in the club or gimme 20 dollarz You on a mission in the club so gimme 20 dollarz

Tony tipped his glasses and stuck out his hand, “You must be Wayne.  I’ve heard you appreciate a party almost as much as I do.”

(via she-is-long-gone-deactivated201)

CAPTAIN. FREAKING. AMERICA.

“It’s not safe for you to be walking around alone in this city. You’ve already got proof of that. Let me take you to where you’re staying. And I’m really only offering out of courtesy. I’m going to shadow you even if you say no.”

“Stubborn, eh?”  Tony thought for a moment, “Alright fine.  On one condition.”  Tony was already walking either way.  A button on his belt set the suit to perimeter mode.  “That grapple your people use.  I’ve been trying to design one for the Avengers, but I can’t quite get the torque down. I’m not that worried about dislocating Captain America’s shoulder, but seeing a tried and tested one up close will give me an idea of what to aim for.”

“There’s another pun in here somewhere, but I’ll spare you the torment.” The heel of his boot came down on the small crack he’d created with his fist before, near shattering the glass. “Huh… Looks like you need to get back to your cell at Arkham. Don’t worry; I’ve got a one way ticket for you.”

“A mugging and a show.  No wonder you bat-people are so popular.”  The suit was 20 seconds out.  “It looks like you’ve got everything under control, so I’m just going to be on my way...”

“You know billionaires, Mister Freeze. They like their personal bubbles. Ice suggest you stay out of this one’s.” Okay he couldn’t help it. He had to get one in.

Jokes.  Cap always scolded him for making too many jokes in the field.  “Cool pun, kid.  But, uh, can we focus on the saving of me now?”

His fist collided with the glass dome around the ice-crazy villain’s head, forcing him back. Given enough room, Red Robin stood in front of Tony, his bo-staff out in a blink. He was quiet, any vocal jabs kept to himself as he mentally worked through how to keep Tony safe and take down Fries. 

“Rush? No rush.”