No, There's No Place Like London...

Taking a deep breath, he leaned back and held his hand out to take hers again. “I’m sorry. I just… How do you feel now?”

Mrs.Lovett bit her lip, feeling herself calm down once again when she heard Sweeney call her “Nell.” He hardly ever called her that unless he wanted something from her, or he was truly sorry. She placed her hand back in his, lacing their fingers together as she thought about how to answer his question.

“Well I’m annoyed now that you’ve made me say all of that out loud,” She mumbled at first. 

“But I’m not quite as sad any more so…thank you, I suppose.”

She gently lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Ill? Possibly. Not exactly a doctor, love. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, though."

How long had she felt this way? How long had she been hiding her feelings so well?

“You should have told me.”

His words were sharp, but he meant them sincerely. She didn’t deserve this, and he wanted to help any way he was able.

Mrs.Lovett felt strangely comforted when she felt Sweeney take her hand. Even if the gesture felt a bit odd and out of character at first, she knew it was the best he could manage.

His words, however, sparked a bit of anger inside of her.

“I’m telling you now, ain’t that enough?” She said through gritted teeth.

Sweeney frowned at the baker’s response. This was a serious situation and she was already belittling her own feelings. Though had he not suffered-or continued to suffer- through similar feelings, he supposed he would have shrugged it off as well.

“You know very well that it’s more than that,” he said, sounding almost angry.

Whether it was at her or the problem at hand, he wasn’t sure. Seeing her in such a state was enough to make him angry, though. Her red eyes with dark circles underneath were too much for a fake smile to hide and he hated that she still made the attempt to fool him.

Closing his eyes, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just talk to me. Please.”

Mrs.Lovett bit her lip, knowing she must’ve looked absolutely pathetic trying to fake a smile through the tears. She lowered her eyes to the floor, unable to look at him any longer. She could sense his frustration, and even though she knew it wasn’t directed towards her, she couldn’t help but shrivel back into her seat. 

Once he looked at her, she forced herself to take a deep breath, knowing he wouldn’t go away until she talked. How could he be so stubbornly endearing at the worst time?

Hesitantly, she moved over on the sofa, silently inviting him to come sit with her. He was much too intimidating looming over her like that.

How long had she felt this way? How long had she been hiding her feelings so well?

"You should have told me."

Mental Illness Starters

@myarmiscompleteagain

Mrs.Lovett jumped when she heard Sweeney’s voice, hurriedly rubbing at her red, puffy eyes in a desperate attempt to create the facade that she had not, in fact, spent the entire afternoon crying her eyes out. The worst part of it all was that she didn’t have anything to cry about. Not anything practical, at least. But these spells came about more constantly as she aged, and often she found herself feeling lethargic and helpless. She had nothing to live for, not really. The few interactions she had with Sweeney each day were just enough to perk her up for a second, but leave her feeling hopeless the rest of the day, once she realized how absolutely pathetic she was. He was never going to love her. She knew that. Yet, she couldn’t fathom a life without him. And so every day, she would get her hopes up in the morning, and be heartbroken by the afternoon. It was absolute misery.

Staring up at the barber, she forced the corners of her lips up into a small smile.

“What could I have said, hm?” She asked in a bitter tone.

"You know very well that it's more than that," he said, sounding almost angry.

Whether it was at her or the problem at hand, he wasn't sure. Seeing her in such a state was enough to make him angry, though. Her red eyes with dark circles underneath were too much for a fake smile to hide and he hated that she still made the attempt to fool him.

“Come with me.”

The words were so soft, he wasn’t entirely sure he had spoken them aloud.

Mrs.Lovett raised her eyebrows, even letting out a breathy laugh at Sweeney’s request. Where they going to run away like two star crossed lovers now? He couldn’t possibly be serious, could he?

After a moment of silence, the baker knew his offer was sincere, and before she could even properly think it through, she heard herself replying with an “Alright.”

When the baker spoke, he wasn't sure if he'd heard her right. All right? Maybe she had a plan. Mrs. Lovett was the practical one, always thinking ahead to protect them. Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself, but God, he wanted out so badly. He raised his head and looked at her, feeling a rush of emotion as he saw how sincere she was, her brown eyes no longer dull and lifeless as they had been moments ago.

“I don’t want this.”

It felt like the washed out walls were closing in on him. Yes, it would kill her if he left, but it would kill him to stay. There was too much in this dreary place holding him back, suffocating him.

Mrs.Lovett felt her heart stop for a moment when Sweeney gave her hand a small squeeze. His words felt like a slap in the face, but as she stared up at his grimaced face, she knew he was truly hurting. It pained her to know how much he was suffering here with her, and as much as she wanted him to be content and free, it terrified her to think of a life without him.

"Come with me."

“Want me to feed him?” he asked when Nellie finished cooking and preparing their plates.

Mrs.Lovett let out a small sigh and gave her husband a small shrug when he asked if he wanted her to feed the baby. Truthfully, she wanted to be the one to feed their child for the first time. She’d been feeling rather left out of things lately, since she was always stuck with doing the cooking and cleaning for everyone, which meant that Sweeney got to take care of the baby.

Sweeney flinched when she took his hand, her warmth feeling like a shock against his cold skin. It was times like this when he wish he could leave. Pack up in the middle of the night without another word, nor a note left behind. Wouldn’t they both be better off without each other?

He ignored her plea. The agonizing words he had heard so often from her were too much right now. She could get by without him. She’d done so before. But as he watched her eyes grow dark with pain, that familiar warmth fading to nothing, he knew it would kill her.

Yet, it didn’t stop him from saying, “You could learn to forget me.”

Mrs.Lovett inhaled a shaky breath as she studied the stern expression on Mr.Todd’s face. She knew he was considering his options; whether or not the cost of leaving her heartbroken would be worth the liberty of being on his own in the great wide world. She knew this conversation was inevitable, yet ever since the barber came back, she feared losing him. Having Sweeney back with her felt like a dream- it always felt too good to be true, and she knew one day he would fade away, and she would be left wondering if she had imagined the whole thing.

She let out a small, sad scoff at his words, and shook her head as she looked away.

"I don't want this."

Panic! at the Disco Starters || Accepting

Mrs.Lovett frowned at the barber’s statement, her heartbeat accelerating at the mere thought of him leaving. She shook her head in denial, moving closer to take hold of one of his hands.

“Don’t miss me,” She said, boldly staring into his cold dark eyes.

He ignored her plea. The agonizing words he had heard so often from her were too much right now. She could get by without him. She'd done so before. But as he watched her eyes grow dark with pain, that familiar warmth fading to nothing, he knew it would kill her.

Taking the child from her, he walked off to the nursery to search for the pacifier. Gabriel was only whimpering lightly now, clinging tightly to Sweeney’s shirt.

“Da,” he mumbled pitifully, and Sweeney couldn’t help but smile.

“Dadda’s here,” Sweeney said, bouncing him lightly in his arms.

He held the pacifier up to Gabriel, who latched onto it instantly. Joining Nellie in the kitchen, he tried to set Gabriel in his high chair, only for the child to start whimpering again.

“He’s going to be so fucking clingy,” Sweeney muttered, picking him back up.

Mrs.Lovett reluctantly handed Sweeney their son and followed them into the kitchen. She felt her heart warm when Sweeney spoke to the little boy, and couldn’t help but smirk when Gabriel refused to let go of him.

“Aw, he loves ‘is daddy. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that,” She told him with a pout.