Let's run away and pretend we're not in love.

Lmfao the pause

there’s no shame in admitting that none of us have any concept of how big a whale is

it’s a cold and it’s a broken hollaback girl 

i am mesmerized by the details

working with children is a wild fucking experience yall. this morning at work one of our second graders got my attention and was like “you know what word my mom told me not to say? PUSSY.” and i was like “then why did you just say it??” and she went “i dunno” and then dabbed

Slendergirl.

sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

My boyfriend would be gettin’ hit with the baseball bat beside our bed if he ever woke up and said, “What is he normally?” about himself.

Then you would NOT have liked the time he pointed to a corner of our room while he was sleeping and said “they share a dimension with Earth and they take cats to eat them”.

I absolutely do not like that.

I love people who talk in their sleep.

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017