my-fan-side

The cabin is dark and quiet, filled with the particular hushed quality that comes in the deepest part of night. Nesta lies on her side, surrounded by the pillows Cassian arranged with meticulous care; one between her knees, one under her belly, one supporting her back. She should be comfortable. She should be asleep.

She's neither.

She's staring at the wall where moonlight filters through the curtains in pale strips. The baby is awake too, shifting and kicking with what feels like deliberate insistence, like she's nesting, trying to rearrange Nesta's organs into more favorable positions.

"You're not helping, baby girl," Nesta whispers, pressing a hand to the spot where a tiny foot—or elbow, or knee, or wing, impossible to tell—is jabbing into her ribs.

The baby kicks harder, as if in response.

Nesta shifts, trying to find a position that doesn't make her back ache or her hips scream or her bladder threaten immediate rebellion. It's futile. Every position is uncomfortable in different, creative ways.

But it's not just physical discomfort keeping her awake. It's a particular feeling that's been growing steadily since the party, since she found those eyes in the darkness, and some type of cold certainty had settled in her bones like winter. It's a knowing she can't explain, a certainty she tries and fails to ignore.

She'll be alone when the baby comes.

The thought makes her breath catch, panic rising sharp and immediate in her throat. The thought holds truth, sitting heavy in her chest, cold and certain as prophecy.

Another kick, this one strong enough to make her wince.

"Okay," she murmurs into the darkness. "I get it. You're awake. We're both awake. We could form a very anxious club."

Beside her, Cassian sleeps on his stomach, one wing draped over the edge of the bed, the other folded against his back. His face is pressed into the pillow, his breathing deep and even. One of his arms is stretched toward her, his hand resting on the mattress between them like even in sleep he's reaching for her.

She shouldn't wake him. He's been running himself ragged for her. He's exhausted. He needs rest. But she can feel the panic building in earnest now, pressing against her ribs, making it hard to breathe. The feeling of wrongness, of terrible things coming, of being utterly alone when she needs him most—

"Cass?" His name comes out before she can stop it, quiet and tentative and slightly ashamed.

He doesn't stir.

"Cassian," she tries again, a little louder, and this time her voice cracks on his name.

He makes a sound, something like a groan that ends in a question mark, his face burrowing deeper into the pillow.

"I can't sleep."

Another groan, this one sounding more awake. His wing twitches. Then, slowly—so slowly it's almost comical—he rolls onto his side to face her, his eyes still mostly closed, his hair sticking up in about twenty different directions.

"Wha's wrong?" The words are slurred with sleep, barely intelligible.

"Nothing. I'm sorry, go back to sleep."

But he's already moving, his hand finding her in the darkness with the unerring accuracy of someone who could locate her in his sleep. Which, she supposes, he technically is.

"Can' sleep?" he mumbles, his palm settling warm on her hip.

"No."

"Baby kickin'?"

"Yes, but that's not—" Her voice breaks again. "That's not why."

That seems to wake him more fully. His eyes open and even in the darkness she can see them focusing on her with sudden alertness.

"Hey." His thumb starts moving in slow circles over the fabric of her nightgown, the motion automatic, soothing. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I have a bad feeling."

He's quiet for a moment, his hand going still. "About what?"

"About the birth. About—" She swallows hard. "About being alone when it happens."

Cassian pushes himself up on one elbow, his brow furrowed with concern. "Alone? Nes, you're not going to be alone. I'll be right there with you the whole time."

"But what if you're not?" The words tumble out, raw and afraid. "What if whatever's coming—whatever was watching me at the party—what if it happens then? When I'm in labor and can't defend myself or her? What if it finds a way to separate us, to keep you away from me?"

"That's not going to happen."

"You can't know that." She sits up with effort, groaning with her hand pressed to her belly. "You make that promise, Cassian. No matter how much you want to."

He sits up too, reaching for her, but she pulls back slightly. "Nesta, listen to me—"

"No, you listen." Her voice is shaking now. "I've had this feeling for days. Since the party. It's like—it's like I know something terrible is coming, and it's going to happen when I'm at my most vulnerable. And I know I'm going to be alone."

"You're not—"

"I can't do it without you." The admission bursts out of her, desperate and terrified. "I can't bring her into the world alone, I'm not strong enough. What if something goes wrong? What if I make the wrong choice because I'm in pain and scared and you're not there to help me think clearly? What if I fail her because I'm by myself?"

"Hey, hey, hey." Cassian moves closer, cupping her face in his hands. "Look at me, sweetheart. Please."

She does, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

"You are not going to be alone," he says firmly, his voice steady and certain. "I will be right beside you, holding your hand, supporting you with whatever you need. I promise you, Nesta. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could keep me from being there when our daughter comes into this world."

"But what if—"

"No what ifs." He gently holds her face in his big hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that have started falling. "I will be there, every step of the way. From the first contraction to the moment we hold her. You will not be alone."

"You can't promise that," she whispers. "There are too many variables, too many things that could go wrong."

"I don't care." He pulls her closer, carefully arranging her against his chest. "All I care about is you, and her. About our family. I will not let anything or anyone keep me from being there when you need me most."

Nesta closes her eyes, breathing in his scent of pine and snow and home. "I'm so scared."

"I know." His hand moves to her lower back, rubbing slow circles. "I know, sweetheart. But this feeling you're having, this certainty that you'll be alone, it's fear talking. It's your mind trying to prepare you for the worst possible scenario, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen."

"It feels so real."

"I know it does." He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "But feelings aren't always facts. Sometimes our minds lie to us, especially when we're scared. Especially when we're about to do something as terrifying as bringing a life into this world."

His other hand finds the swell of her belly, settling there with gentle weight. The baby kicks against his palm.

"Hi, little one," he murmurs. "Be gentle to your mama, okay. Give her some peace. We'll be right here when you’re ready to meet us, together."

Despite everything, Nesta feels something loosen in her chest. "You make it sound so simple."

"It is simple." He tilts her face up to look at him. "Not easy, but it is simple. You, me, and her. That's all that matters. Everything else—the threats, the fears, the what ifs—we'll deal with them as they come, if they come, together."

"I can't—" Her voice cracks again. "Cassian, I can't do this without you. If something happens, if you're not there, I won't be able to—"

"Stop." He kisses her forehead, firm and decisive. "Stop borrowing grief from futures that might never happen. You are strong enough to do anything, with me or without me. But you won't have to find out, because I. Will. Be. There."

He punctuates each word with a kiss to her forehead, her temple, her cheek.

"But what if you can't—"

"I can. I will." His arms tighten around her. "Nesta, look at me, sweetheart."

She does, meeting his eyes in the moonlight.

"I have never been more certain of anything in my life," he says, his voice low and intense. "I will be there when our daughter is born. I will hold your hand and tell you how strong you are and how much I love you. Nothing will keep me away. Not threats, not attacks, not the end of the world itself. Do you understand me?"

"I want to believe you."

"Then believe me." He rests his forehead against hers. "Trust me and that I mean what I say. Trust that I will move the sky and the earth to keep this promise."

Nesta closes her eyes, letting his certainty wash over her, trying to let it chase away the cold dread in her chest. "I'm trying."

"I know." His hand resumes its gentle wandering, tracing the curve of her belly, the line of her hip, back up to her face. Soothing and grounding. "You don't have to conquer all your fears tonight. You just have to trust that I'm not going anywhere."

"I do trust you. It's just—"

"It's just that you've been hurt before, by people who promised to be there and weren't. By circumstances beyond your control. By a world that's been cruel to you more often than not." His voice is gentle, understanding. "I get it, sweetheart. I do. But I'm not them, and this isn't the same as all those times. I promise you, on everything that I am and hold dear, that I will be there."

The baby kicks again, stronger this time, and they both feel it.

"She agrees with me," Cassian says, and there's a hint of his usual playfulness in his voice. "See? Already taking my side."

Nesta can't suppress the smile pulling at her lips. "Traitor."

—————

After the Fourth Shinobi World War ended, Tenten found herself returning to the hospital far more often than she ever planned. At first, she told herself it was duty to checking on a teammate, making sure Neji was recovering well. But days turned into a routine, and routines turned into something warmer. She would bring him tea when the nights grew cold, sit beside his bed while he pretended to rest, and talk about small, unimportant things just to fill the silence.

That's how they start talking. For Neji, he obviously aware he likes her since their genin days but due to their busy schedule he didn't really make a move. Besides, she didn't really notice he likes her and sometimes she even told him about her crush or a guy she recently talking to. Well, I guess the war brought them together. Since she start talking to Neji, she start to likes him back.

What surprised Tenten most was how natural it felt. Neji no longer seemed like the untouchable prodigy standing several steps ahead, he was simply Neji, teasing her faintly when she scolded him for pushing himself too hard, thanking her in a voice too quiet for anyone else to hear. They began to linger even after visiting hours ended, reluctant to be the first to leave. Neither of them named what was happening. In the aftermath of war, when so much had been lost, their growing closeness felt like something precious and something neither of them dared to question, afraid that speaking it aloud might make it disappear.

One day, they both training as usual and he notice she was staring

N: You're staring

T: *smile* I am not. I'm just make sure youre not overdoing it

N: *also smile* you said that everytime

T: Someone has to

She handed him a towel when he finished, their fingers brushing for just a second too long. Tenten pulled back immediately, heat rushing to her face, while Neji paused, eyes dropping briefly to where their hands had been.

N: You know you don't need to stay, I can walk home alone

T: I know I just.... Didn't mind

N: Well, I don't either

They walked side by side in silence, steps falling into an easy rhythm. Every so often, Tenten would steal a glance at him, only to find him already looking her way. For the first time, Neji wondered if fate had nothing to do with this at all and Tenten, cheeks still warm, wondered when simply being near him had started to feel like enough.

They really start talking and everybody that saw them already knew they liked each other at that point. They used to have a quality time together a little longer. One day, they hang out at his favorite restaurant.

T: Umm Neji, do you remember back then after we finish our Chuunin exam at Suna-gakure?

N: yeah, what about it?

T: I remember Lee said something like you have a crush on someone

Neji turned his head slightly, surprised by how carefully she avoided looking at him.

N: I did

T: Oh? how is she now?

N: *excited* I'm closer to her now, we start talking. Back then, I didn’t understand what it was or what to do with it.

T: Oh, that makes sense I guess

N: She’s strong, not just physically. She stays, even when things are difficult. She notices things others don’t and she worries more than she should

T: So you two are...?

N: We’ve started getting closer

T: wait, do I know her? 

N: 😁, you have no idea

That did it. She didnt even notice he was talking about her the whole time and that's the problem, her oblivious. Since that day she start to distance herself. Tenten no longer waited for him after training. She left earlier, excusing herself with quiet reasons.  When Neji spoke, she still listened, still smiled, but the warmth had shifted, tucked away behind politeness. The easy closeness they had built after the war thinned into something careful, almost distant. Neji noticed immediately. He even thinks this is more awkward than their friendzone phase where they still can be joking with each other

One day, it's a rare things Neji agree to hang out with the boys. Naruto was loud as usual, Kiba teased shamelessly, Shikamaru sighed about how troublesome everything was, and Lee spoke with unfiltered sincerity. Neji didn’t expect the topic to come up

Naruto: Oi, Neji what about you and Tenten?

Neji: *blinked, surprise* What about her?

Kiba: Come on. You two were practically inseparable lately

Neji: Did Lee tell you guys?

Lee: MY POWER OF YOUTH DIDNT HAVE TO TELL THEM, YOU TWO ARE OBVIOUS

Choji: What about her, Neji? Did you gave her your last piece of your dumpling?

Neji: Umm she’s been distant lately and I suppose I have too

Shikamaru: why?

Kiba: did you say stupid thing? Naruto said something stupid to Hinata and she's mad, y'know... girls💁

Neji: I dont know I had no idea, we were just talking but...

Naruto: *embrace Neji* don't worry we can help you😏

Neji: 😔, I rather you guys to not ruin it more

Kiba: It's better if we talk to her and help you tho

Choji: *eat his snack* yes, we are friends

Shikamaru: mendokuse😔 (what a drag)

Choji: *slap shikamaru slightly* You often go to Suna-gakure and that's not a drag to you

Neji: no, seriously you guys dont have to

Lee: dont worry Neji, just trust us *proud*

Ahead of them, just across the road, Tenten was walking alone, adjusting the strap of her bag.

Kiba: Ohhh, that's her

Shikamaru: Troublesome timing

Before Neji could even react

Naruto: *grab his sleeve* Neji, hide!

Neji: What?

Kiba: shhh, recon mission

Neji didn't have a choice than to agree with them, he hide behind the wall but still can hear them. He doesnt think this would be good idea tho

Naruto: TENTEN!

Tenten: Oh hey!!!

Kiba: Going somewhere?

Tenten: Just heading back, what about you guys?

Shikamaru: Same, umm Tenten actually we want to talk about something with you

Tenten: Oh? What happened?

All of the boys looked at each other 

Lee: Tenten, we want to ask you and Neji. We all know you two are start talking together but why are you seem to distance with him?

Naruto: did he does something wrong?

Tenten: He has a girlfriend you know?

The boys: WHAT?????

Tenten: he has a girlfriend, didn't you guys know that?

Lee: what? There's no way

Shikamaru: well, how do you know he has a girlfriend tho?

Tenten: *exhaled* so, we were just talking and I was asking him about his crush that Lee talk about a long time ago, after the chuunin exam in Suna-gakure and he said he start talking to her. So I assumed...

Kiba: ASSUMED HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND??*yelled*

Shikamaru: ... Did he ever actually say it wasn’t you?

Tenten: *thinking* No

Shikamaru: Did he ever say it was someone else?

Tenten: no

*silence*

Kiba look at Shikamaru

Kiba: I know we're thinking the same thing

Lee: TENTEN, HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU😭 

Shikamaru: Yeah, this idiot was talking about you

Tenten: what, no

Lee: Yessss Tenten, Neji has never once spoken about another woman to me. Ever. The only person he’s been consistently close to… is you

Naruto: Believe me, we would KNOW if Neji had a girlfriend. He’d be terrible at hiding it

Tenten: Okay you guys are being delutional-

The boys: NO!!!

Kiba: he definitely talk about you. There is no way he talks about someone else Tenten

Shikamaru: Look, we are not gonna lie about this, he likes you

Naruto: you should start talking to him again Tenten

Tenten: *hesitate* should I?

The boys: YESSS

Tenten: So… hypothetically..... if I… started getting closer to him again…

Naruto: DO IT

Kiba: ABSOLUTELY

Lee: WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!

Tenten: umm I'll try

Choji: …About time

Shikamaru: mendokuse *muttered*

After that day, she start talking to him again and everything seems to be normal again. The distance didn’t vanish all at once, but it softened until one day, after all of this happened Neji planned to just confessed to her and cleared everything. He ask her to hang out which after that he ask to speak with her in private

T: So...... What is this about?

N: Okay Tenten, umm, I just want to be honest here I didn't expect anything

T: okay? *start to overthinks*

N: Tenten, I liked you. Since we were still genin and I didn't really make a move back then and I dont know if you notice something I did that maybe has a clue about me liking you until now and still I'm not force you or hope you'd like me back I just wanna be honest

T: Oh? Umm to be honest.... I like you too. Not since we were genin, maybe when we start talking but yeah... I like.... You too...

N: I also wanna confessed when we were at a restaurant, I was talking about you Tenten. I told Lee I liked you and I should also let you know when you're talking with my friends.... I was there listening

T: WHAT??? YOU WERE THERE??

N: Yes

T: AND THAT TIME YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ME?????

N: Yes, I'm sorry that I'm confuse you and everything but yeah I like you

T: Oh, no I'm sorry too I just didn't realize it 

N: so, we liked each other?

T: uhh.... Yeah?

N: so-

T: *blinked* so???

He is getting closer to him, he was hesitate but

N: So, will you be my girlfriend?

T: ummm yes

Tenten inside is screaming right now

He hesitate, but he leans closer until she notice he keep getting closer. She looked at him.

He kissed her.

It was sudden enough to make her freeze, surprised by the warmth of his lips, by the way his breath trembled just slightly. For a heartbeat, he pulled back, eyes searching her face, uncertainty flashing across his calm expression.

Tenten leaned in this time, closing the distance herself. The second kiss was softer, slower, filled with laughter she couldn’t quite hold back. Neji relaxed into it, tension melting from his shoulders, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand as if to remind himself this was real.

He offers his hand so they could holding each other

N: May I?

(Yeah, he ask her to hold his hand like he didnt just kiss her out of the sudden😔)

She nodded before she realized she had.

Their hands met and awkward at first, fingers brushing, then settling into something sure. Neji’s grip was gentle, almost reverent, as though he was afraid holding her too tightly might break the moment. Tenten squeezed back, breath hitching, and that was when he stopped.

In the end, nothing about their love was loud or sudden. It settled slow and gentle. They walked forward hand in hand, no longer guessing, no longer afraid of saying the wrong thing. What they had found wasn’t born from fate or misunderstanding, but from choosing to stay, to listen, and to return to each other when it mattered most. And for Neji and Tenten, that was enough, more than enough, to begin something real

Thank youu❤