Once you start asking questions, innocence is gone

“Oh I doubt that. You’re a relatively new face, they’re just trying to toughen you up. Believe me, I went through it myself.” Mary tried to offer a smile. “So, how do you like working with all of us old movie stars?” Normally she detested the word old, but she imagined it would put the girl a bit more at ease. 

      ❛ oh, it’s simply a dream! ❜ the usually shy girl chirped, wide smile on her face. — and she was saying the true, it was a DREAM. she always wanted to be an actress; but nothing could prepare her for being on the same room as the idols she used to watch everyday on screen. it was actually quite shocking she was acting so calm alongside mary!

“I must say, it’s quite interesting for us as well, seeing all these new faces around. The studio is certainly invested in young talent.” Of course, she knew that in the long run it would probably slow her career down faster than anything else, but it wasn’t fair to think like that. 

“Don’t apologize,” she repiled. “I’m the one who ought to be doing that, I shouldn’t have made that assumption.” And being tired was something Mary could certainly relate to. “They really work us hard around here, don’t they?”

     the blonde giggles & offers a nod of her head as answer, before looking down a bit.  ❛ yeah… i don’t think they all like me very much.  ❜ which was true, they all gave her the meanest of looks; even when they were smiling. except from… well, mary of course. she had been very kind with her so far.

“Oh I doubt that. You’re a relatively new face, they’re just trying to toughen you up. Believe me, I went through it myself.” Mary tried to offer a smile. “So, how do you like working with all of us old movie stars?” Normally she detested the word old, but she imagined it would put the girl a bit more at ease. 

“You’re not drunk, are you?” she asked, looking the woman up and down as she tried to assess the situation. “They won’t tolerate that for long around here, trust me, I know.” Or maybe she was just like so many of the other young actresses today, who didn’t seem to be totally immersed in what they were doing.

   ❛ no!  ❜  she’s quick to deny it, in a soft voice though ; not daring to raise her voice or anything. the tiny blonde is astounded by such accusations, but tries to stay polite nevertheless. did she… really look drunk? ❛ i suppose i’m just tired… — i’m sorry, miss astor. i’ll try to be more focused. ❜   

“Don’t apologize,” she repiled. “I’m the one who ought to be doing that, I shouldn’t have made that assumption.” And being tired was something Mary could certainly relate to. “They really work us hard around here, don’t they?”

Desert Fury (’47)

Mary Astor with John Barrymore in Beau Brummel, 1924

John Barrymore by George Hurrell, in Grand Hotel directed by Edmund Goulding, 1932.

noddingpeonies (via wnq-writers)

John Huston

“You can at least pretend to be happy.” “Why didn’t you tell anyone what you were going through?” “You did this to yourself?” “Hey, hey. Calm down, okay? What got you in such a state?” “Do you need help? Professional help?” “Well, to me it just looks like you’re being lazy.” “You can’t be afraid of everything. I bet you’re just doing this to be interesting.” “Why do you always want to have all the attention? Everyone gets depressed. Get over it.” “You’re going to have to get over yourself sometime soon. You can’t just sit around doing nothing forever.” “You just take some meds and it’s gone, right? Don’t be so difficult.” “You’re trying to tell me you’re one of those crazy people? Don’t be ridiculous, you’re fine!” “You look much better today! Are you feeling better?” “Why have you been hiding this for years?” “You could’ve told me you felt like this.” “Trust me, I hate myself more than you do, so yelling at me really isn’t going to change anything!” “Do you ever think of, you know, ending it…? You need to be honest with me.” “Stop making everything about you all the time. You’re so selfish.” “Is there anything you don’t have difficulty with? You’re being so precious.” “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.” “I can tell you you’re not alone, because I’ve felt like this too.” “You’re being so hard on yourself.” “I don’t know why I do it. The pain just stops me from feeling so empty for a while.” “You tried to kill yourself…? When?! Oh god…” “I don’t think I will get better. I felt the same five years ago and I’ve spoken to plenty of therapists in the meantime. I think it’s just a part of who I am.” “What are you feeling?” “Don’t give me that. I give myself a hard enough time already. Harder than you could possibly imagine so PLEASE just leave me alone.” “I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better, so maybe you should just let me hug you for a while?”