“Be all the beautiful things you are…”

me: oh sweet I'm dead hey can i see-

god: no, no you can't, also to your other questions are no, no, yes, no, yes, yes, humans really can't understand that, and oatmeal rasin. happy?

me: ...yeah okay so uh what now

god: well you're pretty obviously going to hell-

me: okay just because I'm a lesbian-

god: -not because you're gay, dipshit, you know why, not the point, anyway I've been cooking up this punishment for a while now

me: look man you and i both know i went though what amounts to my personal hell already, i mean you can make me relive losing my family over and over but like, done it once done it a thousand times y'know?

god: ....kid you just were kind of an asshole you didn't kill anyone. calm down.

me: oh word? ok so whats my punishment then

god: infinite washing dishes

- knit for femme

- worry over there being mistakes in knitting for femme

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