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MADISON: no that was a fucking nasty thing to say. there's 100% a different way to word that that doesn't make me feel like shit. u walked out on ME, remember ??? i never thought u'd do that. but u did. i know u'd never cheat on me. i'm not trying to imply that but when i say i literally don't know who u are right now, i mean that. i feel so fucking guilty and i'll have to live with that forever, i get that. i'm not trying to not be accountable for that but i really don't think i deserve the reaction i got from u. no , shawn. i didn't fuck anyone else ur friends with. okay. i needed to hear that from u bc... well it's pretty much felt that way for me since u left. just like that. unbearable. i don't even know where u are.
MADISON: believe me, i'm fucking pissed at luke for saying shit that wasn't ANY of his business to bring up in the first place. but i'm not trying to pull anything out of u, i'm just trying to get u to talk to me bc i STILL don't understand and u just... won't budge. i only fucking ask bc i care. i love u. so much. i want u to be happy. and when fights with luke start fucking with our relationship, i think i have a right to know what's going on :// is that too much to ask ?? i don't want u to be alone right now... if u really don't want to be around me, please, can u at least stay with someone ??? i do need it. i do need to hear that from u, but what i need most is my boyfriend back. i'm not just talking physically. i don't want to hurt u anymore than i already have, that's not what i'm trying to do at all but it's been really really hard on me since u left. really hard. like i said i... never thought /u'd/ do that. shutting me out and running off to get drunk was jack's thing. i'm not saying ur like him. ur not. and i get why u needed space, i just never thought things would ever get so bad between us that i wouldn't be ur safe place anymore :///
SHAWN: i was taking my anger out on u and i'm sorry. i don't wanna hurt u or make u feel like shit and i don't want u to feel like i'm punishing u 'cause i'm not. madison, i'm still here. putting some distance between us isn't me walking out on u. i just know myself and i can't handle a face-to-face conversation rn. it's unfair to u, i /know/ that. but i'm freaking out, okay? this all sounds so fucking familiar and i just... i can't go through this again. i just wanna shut every last feeling down before i start to spiral. u know luke told me the entire time hailey was with me, she was really thinking about him? lolll. u know what else he told me? that /he/ also wanted her at the time. how does shit like that not fuck someone up?????? and now here he is telling me about this threesome with u and i can't help but get in my head. this isn't me accusing /u/ of anything. i know u love me... god, u've shown me a love i never knew existed. and i /trust/ u.... but this is all very triggering. my heart knows one thing and my head knows another. i just want it all to stop. yeah, i hate not being with u. i'm not far.
SHAWN: alright. what else do u wanna know? i'll be fine. between drinking and sleeping, i'm not doing a lot of being "awake" anyway. i don't know if i can be that for u... at least not rn. u deserve so much better than this. u deserve so much better than /me/.