ashes in her wake

Moodboard  ↔ Eulia Shirk [01/??]

Yeah...my jaw.

“... Dear god.”

“Don’t.” The tone of her voice is that of a warning, a threat even, but other than her words, Eulia does little else to stop the approaching woman. “No, no, Katherine – no.” She carries on, chanting the word ‘no’ over and over again, as if the use of it will repel Kitty. It doesn’t and Eulia looks on with a mix of dread, horror, and agitation as Kitty steps near, arms spread open to receive her. 

A small step is taken to place distance between them, but that’s does little in the long run. Kitty’s a mere foot or so before her and really, there’s nothing to be done. Kitty will do what she wants to do, Eulia knows that. That point has been made perfectly clear for the past.. holy shit, 10 years now?

Goddamn, they’re old.

The contact is made within seconds, despite a few more quick and desperate pleas, and Eulia makes a final, indistinguishable noise of protest as their chests meet. “I don’t want thiiis,” she whines before finding her face lost in the mess of brown hair that’s draped over Kitty’s shoulder. Gross, she thinks and tries to shake herself free from the locks while Kitty’s arms wrap around her.

And then she swallows.

Hard. 

Something is welling up and Eulia tenses in response. The hug isn’t reciprocated by any means and its impossible to tell if that’s because she just doesn’t like the contact, or because she’s utterly ashamed to be in a room with this woman again. It’s a good mix of both, probably.

It’s been years since Eulia’s properly seen Kitty and that’d been a strategic move on her behalf. She’s avoided her like the plague and it’s all been out of shame. There was a good chunk of time where their contact had consisted of nothing but lies from Eulia. Lies explaining where she was, what she was doing, swearing she wasn’t in the city – all lies to hide that she was living from hotel to hotel while in the arms of a man who single-handedly ended the lives of countless mutants, some of their classmates included. There were countless lies told to cover her shame.

And now that shame was drowning her.

She manages to choke out an, “I’m sorry, Kitty,” before proceeding to bite her tongue. On Kitty’s end, she surely must sounds crazy. A moment before, she was trying to evade this contact and now she has this girl apologizing into her hair. Eulia is a mess.. but really, that can’t be much of a surprise to anyone who’s known her for long.

It’s right as Kitty begins to drop her arms that Eulia moves hers. “Don’t.” She says, quickly, ashamed by her own demand. Her arms lift and slowly, hesitantly, they wrap around Kitty’s slender frame. “We can do this for a little.” Her eyes squeeze shut. “Just for a little.”

The joke wasn’t trite but still.. Eulia all but scoffs when he began in its deliverance. She endures – and act of goodwill, she’d surely say – listening with crossed arms and a cocked head. When it concludes, she takes on a strained look; her lips thin, arched brows press, and eyes narrow ever so in response Reader. It’s all enough to look miffed but not entirely dismissive, or unentertained. It was a decent enough joke, but Eulia couldn’t give the man too much credit or pride for amusing her – that is, if he could see her reaction. 

That dawns on her after a moment of silence that was just long enough to be deemed uncomfortable. Long enough for him to surely know she’d assumed he could see her.

That was something she’d need to work on.

“That was bad,” She stifles a laugh – one she’s forced, to reassure him a reaction. “And you should feel bad.” No, she should feel bad.

“You can’t change people – not really. Even if you think you can, or that you have before, it wont last in the long run. They are who and what they are. Either accept what they can offer you or move on. Trust me, you don’t wanna get too attached if you don’t need to be.”

“None of your business, but a particular hobby of mine is throat punching cuntbags with shitty pickup lines.”

“What..? No, I didn’t.”

“Pretend you don’t and live your life as normally as you can. It’s that or you expose yourself and give up any decent chance of normality. And a chance to live past 30.”