Turtles Count It Off

Bonus Picture:

Vibe: It is the perfect blend of 2003 and IDW. Leans heavily on the “Ninja” in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (incoherent squealing), with a little twist of SAINW-Foot-Clan-Takes-Over-NYC-type plot. Fantastic brother banter/interactions. My only complaint is that we didn’t get MORE of them.

Story: The turtle boys return to New York after a year-long vacation to find that a faction of the Foot Clan, led by a dude named Mashima, is taking over the city. The Japanese faction is led by Karai (in this game, the turtles have never met her before). Karai forms a weird, kinda tense alliance with the turtles. Also, Mashima is like harnessing astral energy or something? For his own sinister purposes? It’s kinda neat. We get to see how the family functions after Shredder is defeated, which I always love.

My Favorite Things:

The soundtrack is genuinely fantastic.

April CARRIES. I absolutely loved how involved she was with directing the missions, solving problems, and just playing a turtle support role in general. She reminds me of IDW April (highly intelligent, science/tech focused like Donnie, not necessarily a fighter). She falls into the “lab assistant” category of April O’Neils, as opposed to the “news reporter” category. 

Also, April and Stockman are beefing the whole time. Which I absolutely love.

Speaking of which, Stockman has nicknames for April and Donnie: “My Old Understudy” and “The Stick-Wielder,” respectively. 

The tutorial is integrated with the story. You learn different aspects of gameplay while playing each brother. Why I love it:

At the start of Leo’s tutorial segment, Mikey and Leo have this exchange, which is a HILARIOUS way to teach the player how to pull out their weapon: M: Stack of crates, we meet again, thought Leo. L: Shh. M: He reached over his shoulders and equipped his twin katanas.

During Mikey’s tutorial segment, Donnie tells him to “gain ingress” to a warehouse, which is funny because Mikey repeatedly says “ingress” at random moment during the game. Nobody finds it funny.

During Raph’s tutorial segment, you learn about blocking and defense (the irony), which Splinter coaches him on via comm link. Raph hates it and complains the whole time.

The use of terms like Shinobi, Jonin, and Hamato-Sama makes me literally giddy.

Bebop and Rocksteady doodle pictures of each other. Bebop calls Rocksteady “Roki,” and intends to buy him a birthday present. 

Donnie gives all of his brothers a keycard for a specific function of the game. All three of them lose the keycards. Next portion of the game is spent locating the keycards. And that is fucking hilarious to me.

Casey calls the turtles “my boys.” So cuteeee

My Favorite Exchanges:

Don: You always charge in headfirst, Raph. You ever think of—I don’t know—strategy? Raph: My strategy is making sure your strategy works. Note: if this isn’t brains and brawn to a tee I don’t know WHAT is.

April: Do what you gotta do and head out. Here comes the bwuuuuuung. [game makes a bwuuuuuung sound effect] Mikey: ...I mean, it sounded a little like it. R: Uncanny.

[after listening to an audio recording of Baxter Stockman trying to teach a mouser how to poach an egg] A: Guys, I think these audio files weren’t recorded on purpose. Splinter: I found it insightful. I’m eager to try this…poached egg. M: Dad. You’ve never tried a poached—? Okay, tomorrow we’re doing all day breakfast.

A: You online? D: Terminally.

Casey: So, Karai. How long you been in your gang? Karai: My ancient, noble house? C: Old house. R: *snorting laughter* S: Find your manners, Casey.

[listening to Bebop rock out on electric guitar] M: I hate that he’s good.

A: You guys ready? Let’s get over there and thwart! C: Thwart. M: Thwart. D: Thwart. Yeah. R: Thhhhwart. Leo: *sighs* You guys done yet? S: Thwart. L: …Thwart.

L: Donatello. Remember to breathe, and that you love me, and that I’m your brother. D: What did you do? L: Father, tell him he’s not allowed to kill me. S: I am a neutral party.  L: I may…have turned on your electromagnet…next to your hard drive. S: [I KID YOU NOT, SPLINTER PULLS OUT HIS SHAMISEN (string instrument) AND PLAYS A CHORD OMG I LAUGHED SO HARD] L: Was that a Shamisen? S: That was the plot thickening.