mu·se·zie·ren

Shaun is 100% human. But he was for a long time treated more as an experiment. He raises Synth!Shaun the same way he had been raised, and he realized himself that it might have stunted him in his development as a human. So it’s one of more reasons he asks his parent to raise Synth!Shaun. He is in a way a product of the Institute just like all the Synths are. To do his job and not waver from his path, like a well-working machine.

He isn’t truly feeling human himself. He doesn’t understand why anyone would not want to live for their purpose because he never thought about freedom. One of the reasons he fails to understand Synths or have empathy with them AT FIRST.

He doesn’t let himself be turned into a Synth even though his adult memories and everything could be moved over. Nor does he accept any cyborg-esque improvements. The reason he dies in the end, but at least he dies as a full human.

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Shaun’s loyalty to the Institute is cult-like. He sees The Institute as some kind of living entity. Like a God in a way. “To serve the Institute” “To better the Institute” “The Institute knows best” etc. So any change can only come naturally from within. Like if you insult the religion of a person they will just cling tighter to it and see anyone from outside more and more as an offender against it and them. It’s the same with Shaun, he needs to doubt by himself, not have others try to push him because then he just becomes more and more stubborn.

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His shoulder was dislocated as a baby in the fight over him. Since then it aches when he gets cold or when there are rad storms even while he is safe in the Institute.

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When on his trips into the Wasteland, he takes a lot of Rad-X and other medication to prevent any illness or radiation festering at all. He is immune to any of such dangers as long as he keeps taking the especially for him made medicine, but it really isn’t that much better. It makes him dizzy, sick, especially if he waits too long between any shots and every time he returns to the Institute he suffers for a bunch of days from withdrawal and also his body just trying to clean all of it out again.

It might keep him pure, but he doesn’t always know if it really was worth it.

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Shaun doesn’t eat meat of domestic animals or harmless ones. He doesn’t understand why someone would hunt and eat the few harmless beings in the wastes.

This is only in a verse where the Institute gets destroyed and it forces him to live on the surface. As long as he lives in the Institute he will mainly live from the Institute food (I headcanon that they are able to create synthetic steaks etc… but only for the high-ranking members )

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Could Shaun ever see a Synth as a person?

Probably yes. At least my version. But that’d need time and distance. Tbh, Valentine would probably the one that most likely could inspire him to realize that Synths are more than just machines.

Parents see their children as children sometimes for their child’s whole life. It often needs to have extreme changes or situations for a parent to realize ‘gosh dang my baby is an adult I can’t order around anymore’. Shaun is surrounded by Synths by those that are more machine-like and some that are not. He is caught in the worldview of being a creator. As a creator, you can’t see your creation as an equal.

This would be a slow and gradual shift, but could probably not be done by anyone hostile towards the Institute and him OR someone that is part of the Institute.

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Shaun loves building those tiny robot models… he also has a few he rebuilt so they are fully functioning tiny robots, they are usually turned off, no one needs to know how high his nerd level actually is… he keeps the models hidden in general.

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Shaun gets drunk after only two glasses of wine. And when he is… he becomes mainly tired and clingy and very needy.

He RARELY drinks over one glass.

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In his Fallout verses, Shaun HATES the cold, and even more: he hates ice. He hates snow. He hates it with a burning passion. He gets grumpy in the winter months and just might not want to move at all if there is snow, unless he is in the Institute where seasons etc don’t matter.

He might get actual nightmares if he is too cold, and most of his bad dreams involve him wandering through endless snow landscapes.

🍁 The Unseelie 🍁

The Unseelie live in the forest, their Palace built from Trees they speak to. Roots trunks and branches growing, and they will fill the gaps with stone and glass. So they never truly know how their home or the new room will look like. But they like it that way. Part of the palace underground to wander between roots, even those of the World’s tree in the throne room. They build the throne of Cain. The ceiling decorated with gems that sparkle like the night sky. They offer light not just for the eye but also allow plants and flowers to grow deep underground. There is color, there is beauty and there is light, just as much as there is shadow.

There are gentle souls and there are tricksters in their ranks, and the same can be said about Seelie. There are no species more drawn to either side, everyone, at least for the Unseelie has the choice to choose. Cain understands that some need order, and that isn’t something he can or wants to give. So he accepted to only “rule” over the Unseelie and leaves the Seelie do whatever they wish to do.

🍁 The Seelie 🍁

The Seelie territory has beautiful white palaces built with magic and jewels. They have palace gardens that are so beautiful humans would cry at their sight. They are the Elven kingdom from fairy tale books, the glimmer and glitter mortals sometimes dream about.

But in their ranks, too is darkness, there are betrayal, and court intrigue.

🍁 The World Tree 🍁

The World Tree is a giant tree that grows in the center of the fae realm. It holds the sky; it holds the earth together. It’s the center of the religion, and it is where the fey are usually born. They are born from fruits that grow on the branches and when they glow Seelie and Unseelie will give those fruits into the loving hands of couples and fey that wish to raise a child. And from the fruit, like from an egg, a child will raise. Sometimes a new soul, sometimes an old one.

Fey, as long as said fruit is not destroyed or taken away are reborn through the tree. And they may choose to remember their former life at one point or forget it.

Cain has a deep connection to the tree. As his fruit does not fall from a branch but is considered the world tree’s heart. Cain is part of that tree and when he connects to the tree, they can share memories and suffering. The tree remembers every life, every death, every tear, feels it... and so Cain does too when he connects to it. It cleanses the tree and gives him new strength to keep holding the world together. It leaves Cain weakened for quite a while after it.

🍁 Glamour 🍁

Glamour is not only what they call it when a fae manipulates a human but also their magic source. Glamour is that spark inside their soul that allows them magic. To look different for humans, make them look away, to make them fall in love, or to summon actual real magic. To control elements or to heal. 

Glamour is gained in a few ways, and it can be taken and reduced.

🍁 Offerings 🍁

Most offerings come from humans. In older times, those were bigger offerings as nowadays. Fae stepping into the world as different nature gods and able to claim their offerings from altars.  Sometimes humans went too far and sacrificed a human life, and that IS an enormous offering. And it gave fae an extra glamour and energy boost. But it wasn’t needed and Cain frowned upon the practice. He ordered that such offerings would not be rewarded anymore, to hopefully make humans stop the practice.

Nowadays, many fey become celebrities in the human world. As that gives offerings (fan presents).

The more heart a person puts into a gift the more glamour it gives. So a person building a small fairy garden and leaving self baked cookies will feed a fey too. So for fae the “ingredient of love” is truly the most satisfying. (Many fae are known to be sweet tooths so they might be seduced by some baker most easily 😂 )

[nsfwish] Offering one's body is another way to give and receive glamour. Two fey truly loving each other, one becoming an offering for the other creates an over-dimensional amount of glamour/magic. In the fae realm, it simply becomes wild magic, and the world realm can easily handle that. Two fey getting to business in the human world better put up some good protective seals before. Else they might summon storms and worse.

🍁 Weaknesses 🍁

Fey need nature and magic. They will get weaker and wither away in big cities without trees and parks around.

The powerful might not be able to interact with normal technology for long. It can’t handle magic and will break.

They can live to an ancient age but aren’t “immortal”. Stab them and they’ll die (but might come back 20 years leter to punch you after being reborn)

There are curses and other magic beings that can get dangerous for them

Poisoned offerings are sUPER MEAN

🍁 Names 🍁

Fey can steal your whole life and your will and freedom if you give a powerful one your name. Especially if a certain behavior is added. A fey asking for your name with their hands reached out asks for your life. Many don’t use it and inwardly reject your life. To manage another life? Exhausting, one is enough. But it is part of their culture that truly giving their name to a person, human or another fey, is a symbol of trust. A powerful fey can not be controlled by a human or weaker fae, but it is ingrained into their culture and manners.

“You may call me...” is the best way to introduce themselves, real or fake name following. 

Cain introduces himself with his name to give others the feeling of being equal to him. He gladly makes himself smaller so others feel more comfortable.

🍁 Fairy Circles 🍁

He can not remember his life before the Legion. And he can’t remember the time before they took the explosive collar off. The time before he had proven himself. That is just an mass of suffering, of tears, of pain and blood. There are no relationships there. Just a young boy doing everything to survive, reduced to that most basic instinct.

But then there was a Priestess of Mars. And it was her that took off his collar, kissed his forehead and welcomed him in the Legion’s community. She ran her hand through her hair and others helped him bathe and into his first armor. A Soldier of Caesar, a person again. The women smelled good and stood against the roughness of all the wasteland and the Legion like flowers blooming in a bloody battlefield. In their white robes and all their beauty. And everything they said he believed. Fed him loyalty to Caesar and gave him the praise he so desperately craved.

He bonded with other soldiers as he trained for a war no one could even imagine yet. But even with the territory they had taken, Mars would never rest until the entire world received his blessing. And to Tredecim that was right, that was how it should be. 

Tredecim had reached adulthood and became respected and feared for his skills. So much they invited him to join an arena fight for Caesar and no one would decline that.  No one would decline the personal invitation after they won. No one would decline Caesar. And so Caesar, Son of Mars, became even closer intertwined with him. After all the years of listening to the Priestesses, he had no become one of his favorites. In bed and on the battlefield. Never comparable to Joshua Graham. Maybe there was a time Tredecim had been jealous of him.

Tredecim had never learned to read, but Caesar would read to him while petting his hair when he did well. And Tredecim loved those quiet moments more than anything. So much he thought it was actual love.

The Priestesses of Mars demanded him to lie with the chosen women of Mars. Other priestesses or temple slaves. Women that were considered genetically perfect enough to reproduce with soldiers. Creating strong offsprings for a strong future.  He had no relationship with those women; it were nights addled with drugs and incense. He never learned if he had a child or not. He didn’t question if any of it was right. Never, questioned anything. 

But then he met HER. She wore the same collar he had in the past. A slave of the Legion. But her eyes were different. Were most were dead and hopeless, broken to be rearranged to the Legion’s needs, her were sparkling like the night sky over the desert. Small chats, hidden glances and the most innocent of touches. Fingers brushing, and he felt like electricity had run through him. There was never more, but it was enough for love to bloom. For him to question what he did, to find reasons to not follow the temple’s calls anymore. And a reason for him to help her escape. She didn’t fit into the Legion, she would not be able to blossom and be happy in the Legion... He watched her die. Beheaded as a punishment for him. And after so many years he cried and screamed until his throat bled. 

❝ It was your fault. It was your fault. It was your fault. It was your fault. ❞  ❝ It was my fault. It was my fault. It was my fault. It was my fault. ❞ 

They broke him again, reformed him, and he was ready to return to Caesar’s service. 

Messengers returned with the information of a city untouched by war and a dam that offered electricity. And so war times were called. And they all marched towards the Mojave to find their first loss... And Thirteen found his freedom. Finally, a place to escape to.

But he wasn’t free, would never be free. Not from the Priestesses and their sweetness that was wielded like a scalpel. Not from Caesar that had carved himself into the deepest places of Thirteen’s soul. And even less free from the woman he loved, whose name he didn’t dare to speak anymore. The woman he had killed with his foolish emotions and feelings.

Sweetness scares him and so does gentleness. He better understands abuse, blood and yelling. Tears and no choice were so much easier than being happy. So much it scared him. Gentleness, softness, all that makes him agitated. It makes him push away what he doesn’t know. Especially when both had been used for one more chain around his soul.