F U S H I G U R O.

hi hi! i’m z (aka ziv), welcome to my blog. here you’ll find a mixture of posts from random reblogs to black!reader/oc multifandom fanfiction and (bad) poetry :p

supernatural

dean w. use me lip combo brothers keeper (multi-chapter fic) sam w. i love it needy gone

animal kingdom

andrew c. solace folded untitled

jujutsu kaisen

toji f. boyfriend!toji untitled lip combo dancing with shadows

misc + poetry

inside

misc. tags i use: #me, #the mother, #and my frans #[z writes]

inbox/dm is always open

As Dean lay on his back watching the living room fan go round, he couldn’t help but pick out each sound that disrupted the quiet of the night. Sam’s heavy breathing—he wasn’t quite snoring, but it was apparent his rest was earned as he lay on the couch with his arm thrown over his face—crickets, the soft crinkling of the covers Dean had used for his palette on the floor, the sporadic zapping of the insect trap on the front porch. He was aware of everything, it seemed, but one particular sound caught his ear and could be blamed for his lack of sleep tonight.

Sniffling. Every few minutes or so, he could hear sniffling followed by a sigh now and then. He knew it was Carmen. She hadn’t closed her door when she went to bed, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if she couldn’t sleep. When Sam had up and left for college, Dean had trouble sleeping, too. He could only imagine how restless he would be if Sam had been missing like Taj were.

His attention to the ceiling fan was the only thing keeping him from going down the hall to her room to check on her. He knew that’d be a bad idea.

There was a weight to his arms that began to tingle with the memory of being wrapped around Carmen’s body as she shook violently on the kitchen floor. He was almost afraid he would have to call a professional with how badly she had begun to hyperventilate. Her grip on his arm as her chest rose and fell quickly was tight, and moving them to the floor was quick thinking for his own personal relief at first.

Seeing her break down like that had touched something in him; it would’ve touched anyone, but he was usually better at shielding his emotions on a job and left the interpersonal stuff to Sam—he was way better at handling things like this.

As he held her, he thought back to the last time his mother had held him, how she had cradled his head and sang him to sleep when he was sick. In an attempt to soothe the woman in his arms, he rubbed her back and began to rock just as his mother had done; lost for words, he couldn’t think of anything to say other than how sorry he was to have to introduce her to this world.

___

In that moment, Dean felt as though they had melted into one another. As Carmen’s breathing returned to normal and her shaking had ceased, an intense feeling washed over him. Though he couldn’t name it, it threatened to sweep the couple away, and he would’ve let it had Carmen not untangled herself from him and let out a hard breath.

Silence filled the space, and neither of them moved. They were still close enough for their breath to mingle, and the sunlight had shone just right against Carmen’s buttery brown skin from the window above the kitchen sink, cut in half by the height of the table, making her eyes sparkle a dark hazel color.

Though it was only for an instant that she had stared at him right in the eye as if to pass a silent ‘thank you,’ the sight nearly knocked the wind out of him. Even with redness and bags under her glossy eyes and a few braids falling out of the lazy ponytail she had gathered them in, she was the most beautiful person Dean had ever seen.

________

A pillow falling from the couch pulled Dean away from his thoughts.

“Sam?” he whispered, hoping his brother would be awake. When he got no reply, he groaned and sat himself up, envious of Sam’s deep sleep.

Slowly, Dean pulled himself up from the floor and made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. He opened and closed multiple cabinets, trying to stay as quiet as possible, before he finally found the cups.

Sighing, he sluggishly moved the faucet handle to fill his glass. After successfully filling the cup, he drank the water in record time before leaning against the counter and clasping his hands together on top of his head.

Hearing the sniffling sound again, closer this time because of how close Carmen’s room was to the kitchen, Dean tried his hardest to stay put.

Of course, that attempt failed, and before he could process what he was doing, he found himself standing at the threshold of Carmen’s open bedroom, squinting to see her frame curled up in bed, back facing him.

Her curtains were slightly open, allowing a sliver of moonlight to illuminate the room. From what he could see, there were a lot of posters on the wall, and a large dresser positioned perfectly in the corner. There was also a desk, where a computer sat, framed by knick-knacks and a neat stack of papers that, in the faint light, made it seem as if the computer were attached to the wall and part of the desk.

Distracted by trying to take in the spacious room, Dean hadn’t noticed Carmen turn over and sit up.

“Dean?” her voice called out just loud enough to scare him as he jumped at the sound.

“Shit. Carmen. I— sorry,” He spoke in a frantic whisper.

“What do you want?”

Even though he could barely see, Dean knew her eyes were puffy. He felt awkward for intruding on her space like this and internally kicked himself for being so out of touch with his body right now.

“I, uh, I was just…” he trailed off.

He breathed sharply before continuing, “Just figured I’d check on you. But uh, I’m gonna—” He had raised his hand and pointed with his thumb toward the dark hallway as Carmen cut him off.

“Can you stay?”

Dean paused. He couldn’t have heard that right, could he?

“I— what?” he asked, getting nervous.

“Just until I fall asleep—please, just…just stay,” She sniffed again, and Dean fought the urge to reach out and pull her close.

Instead, he cleared his throat and stepped further into the room, taking a seat in her desk chair.

Neither of them spoke again. Carmen let out a small sigh and adjusted herself to sit on the bed, so her back was against the headboard. As the silence ensued, the two stared at each other in the dark, content with the few feet between them, their breathing eventually falling in sync.

________

Dean didn’t know when he fell asleep, only that it was well after Carmen had drifted off.

He stirred awake first and took a moment to take in Carmen’s room, bathed in sunlight. It was more colorful than he’d expected, and though she had a lot of stuff, it was very neat.

He didn’t recognize many of the people in her posters, but he was impressed by how they all complemented one another.

Absorbed by the decor, he didn’t notice the heavy footsteps growing closer and closer to the room.

“Dean?” Sam chided through clenched teeth as he took in the scene before him. Dean was sitting in a desk chair in front of Carmen’s bed as she slept.

For the second time in less than 24 hours, Dean thought he had a heart attack.

“Dude!” he breathed, clutching his chest, “You can’t do that!”

Sam rolled his eyes as he gestured for Dean to come into the hall.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I…she…I was being nice; she had a hard day yesterday and couldn’t sleep.” Dean stumbling over his words like this was new to Sam, and though he tried to keep a straight face, a wide grin broke out across his lips.

“Right. So you watched her sleep?” Oh, he was gonna have fun with this.

“What? I— no…no.” Dean failed miserably at pleading his case, much to Sam’s delight.

“Whatever you say, dude.” Sam threw his hands up, chuckling as he made his way back to the living room to grab the Ziploc bag that held his toothbrush and toothpaste.

Dean followed him into the space, still trying to defend himself against Sam’s smug accusations.

“Look,” Sam started, tossing Dean his own bag, “I get it. She’s cute.” As he headed toward the bathroom, he could barely contain his laughter.

“But hey, might wanna make yourself presentable before she wakes up!” He couldn’t resist teasing his brother.

“Sam—” Dean was cut off by the closing of the bathroom door.

______

It was well into the afternoon as Carmen, Sam, and Dean went through Taj’s academic books for clues to his disappearance.

With the brothers’ support, Carmen was shocked at how easy it was becoming to be in Taj’s space, going through his things. Sam had kept her distracted with conversation while Dean forced himself to ignore her and looked carefully through Taj’s notebooks.

As he talked to and got to know Carmen, it wasn’t lost on Sam how well-suited her personality was to Dean. He didn’t even try to contain his excitement at the idea of Dean having a crush. He laughed to himself at how well Carmen had held her composure anytime she and Dean had reached for the same notebook, or gone immediately to the same side of the room where boxes of books sat against the wall.

Sam and Carmen’s laughter filled the room as Carmen excitedly told him some of the lore behind the random items scattered across Taj’s desk.

He only half listened, but every time she laughed, Dean fought the urge to smile to himself.

That was, until he came across a red, college-ruled notebook with an address that looked too familiar for comfort.

The lettering spelled out the location of a popular vampire hangout. Dean had gone there once with a guy named Gordon, whom he hunted with for a short while.

Why would Taj be looking for vamps? Dean thought to himself.

Taj was still considered new to this world from the hunting point of view, and he didn’t take him for one to get out in the field. Did Bobby know about this?

“Sam,” was all Dean said as he studied the address.

Carmen had stopped mid-sentence and looked his way with fear written all over her face.

Sam was about to make a joke until he looked in his brother’s direction. “What’d you find?” he asked, moving to stand over him and grab the notebook.

“Whose address?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“Not who, what. A vamp nest.” Dean breathed heavily and rubbed his temples.

“A what nest?” Carmen’s face was screwed up as she used her nail to pick at the skin surrounding her thumb.

“Vampire nest. They tend to move and live in groups. We call the places they frequent or use as base nests,” Sam answered slowly, looking at Dean pace the room.

“But, why would Taj have the address to a vamp nest? I thought you said he was a library guy?” Sam’s seriousness had entirely shifted the mood.

“Well, it’s not that crazy considering he was studying under Bobby. We can’t jump to conclusions.” Dean spoke, well aware of Carmen’s quickening breaths. He had to be careful with his words in front of her, even though he and Sam had already reached the same conclusion.

“Bobby? The guy you said knows everything?” Carmen was trying to manage her heartbeat and pushed herself tight into an empty corner of the room.

“Yeah,” Dean answered, fishing in his pocket for his phone. Flipping it open, he called Bobby on speed dial, exiting the room as the line rang.

Sam moved to comfort Carmen as his brother left. “Hey, Hey…It’s alright.” His voice was tender, and as he towered over Carmen, he reached a hand out to rub her shoulder. Reluctantly, she allowed him to pull her into a hug and was surprised at how gentle a giant he was.

“Okay. We’re on our way,” was all Carmen heard as she and Sam made their way out of the room.

“Where we goin’?” she was ready, already making a mental checklist of what she needed to pack to hit the road.

“Whoa, slow down, you’re not goin’ anywhere,” Dean said as if the choice had already been made.

“Like hell I am! If it’s about finding Taj, you can’t expect me to stay here.” Carmen was stern in her words, and before either brother could speak, she was in her room filling up a duffel bag.

“Dean. You’re not serious. She has to go.” Sam was shocked that Dean would even begin to think otherwise.

The two argued back and forth as Dean steadily tried to make his way to the front door, keys in hand.

“Seriously, what if it was me who was missing and Bobby or somebody told you to stay put?” Dean’s hand froze on the doorknob.

He sighed deeply before muttering softly, “She can’t, Sam. I promised Taj…I promised him I’d look after her, and the safest place for her is right here.”

This was news to Sam. He threw his arms up in the air. “Why won’t you even tell me what the hell is going on?” His voice raised, genuinely hurt at how guarded Dean was being.

“She’s miserable here,” he continued. “And if she stays, she’s just gonna find a way to leave on her own. How’re you gonna protect her then?”

Just as Sam posed the question, Carmen had come out of the room with a duffel and a backpack, her face serious as she walked clear past Sam and shoved Dean’s hand before opening the door.