BECOME DEATH. @murderbrokea - Tumblr Blog

#i'm rebloggin my own damn self and it HURTS #MY SOUL #( about. ) I'M BEING SO SINCERE RIGHT NOW.

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darkkkun

those cans of diet coke ryan managed to save from the battle buddies mission? yeah, not really. MORE FAHC SHENANIGANS!

(inspired by this Brooklyn Nine-Nine gifset)

valiantlybold

@achievementmicoo

#( gavin. ) GOLDEN IDIOT.#( michael. ) LIT FUSE.#( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

cowboydeluxe

this just in: team crazy mad is at the fahc office party and they are KILLING it on the karaoke machine.

#( team crazy mad. ) I AM A HEAD CASE / I AM THE COLOR OF BOOM.#( michael. ) LIT FUSE.#( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#NICE #( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

moodybluemegamind

Top 15 Off Topic moments as voted by followers - #12 Ryan Haywood and the party hats

#s OTP #( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

untitled-delete

NO SHOOT NO GUN PLZ!

Ya gotta say plz! (Matt and Ryan)

I’ve been in a comic book mood lately, enjoy some scribbles!

#I #am so confused #( matt. ) BACKGROUND JESUS.#( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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vaememes

✯ ——— FIGHT CLUB SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ Lose an hour, gain an hour. ’ ’ This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time. ’ ’ Do you hear me now? ’ ’ Okay, I got it. Shit, I lost it. ’ ’ Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns. ’ ’ Guys, what would you wish you’d done before you died? ’ ’ What are you doing? ’ ’ Fight Club was the beginning. ’ ’ Turn the wheel now, come on! ’ ’ You have to know the answer to this question! ’ ’ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ’ ’ I wouldn’t feel anything good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? ’ ’ Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? ’ ’ I didn’t create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. ’ ’ Hey, you created me. ’ ’ Take some responsibility! ’ ’ This is it - ground zero. ’ ’ Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion? ’ ’ People are always asking me if I know, _______. ’ ’ With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels. ’ ’ I can’t think of anything. ’ ’ I wonder how clean that gun is. ’ ’ Ah… flashback humor. ’ ’ This is crazy… ’ ’ People do it everyday, they talk to themselves… ’ ’ Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! ’ ’ Listen, you can run water over your hand and make it worse… ’ ’ Look at me… or you can use vinegar and neutralize the burn. ’ ’ First you have to give up, first you have to know… not fear… ’ ’ Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It’s not my problem. ’ ’ You know why they put oxygen masks on planes? ’ ’ In a catastrophic emergency, you’re taking giant panicked breaths. ’ ’ That’s, um… That’s an interesting theory. ’ ‘ I’ve got a stomachful of Xanax. ’ ’ I took what was left of a bottle. It might have been too much. ’ ’ Your whacked out bald freaks hit me with a fucking broom! ’ ’ It’s getting exciting now, two and one-half. ’ ’ I ask you for one thing, one simple thing. ’ ’ Now answer me, why do people think that I’m you. ’ ’ Why do people think that I’m you? Answer me! ’ ’ Why would anyone possibly confuse you with me? ’ ’ My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school. ’ ’ I am Jack’s smirking revenge. ’ ’ Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. ’ ’ I see all this potential, and I see squandering. ’ ’ All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. ’ ’ I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. ’ ’ I am free in all the ways that you are not. ’ ’ They’re gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid. ’ ’ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ’ ’ What’s the smell? ’ ’ Is that your blood? ’ ’ Oh, it’s late. Hey, thanks for the beer. ’ ’ I should find a hotel. ’ ’ Three pitchers of beer, and you still can’t ask. ’ ’ You call me because you need a place to stay. ’ ’ Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask. ’ ’ Would - would that be a problem? ’ ’ Can I stay at your place? ’ ’ Is it a problem for you to ask? ’ ’ You’ll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. ’ ’ I felt like destroying something beautiful. ’ ’ You’re not how much money you have in the bank. ’ ’ You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. ’ ’ You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. ’ ’ When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… ’ ’ Listen up, maggots. You are not special. ’ ’ You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. ’ ’ You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ’ ’ On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ’ ’ The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. ’ ’ Man, you’ve got some fucked up friends, I’m tellin’ ya. ’ ’ The things you own end up owning you. ’ ’ Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you? ’ ’ C'mon, do me this one favor. ’ ’ How much can you know about yourself, you’ve never been in a fight? ’ ’ I don’t wanna die without any scars. ’ ’ So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve. ’ ’ Who gives a shit? No one’s watching. What do you care? ’ ’ Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you? ’ ’ Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear! ’ ’ Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one. ’ ’ God Damn! We just had a near-life experience, fellas. ’ ’ Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! ’ ’ Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good. ’ ’ Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? ’ ’ One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items. ’ ’ How’s that working out for you? ’ ’ You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh. ’ ’ This is not the worst thing that can happen. ’ ’ There are things about you that I like. ’ ’ Yeah, you’re sorry, I’m sorry, everybody’s sorry. ’ ’ I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. And I won’t. I’m gone. ’ ’ You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re… spectacular in bed… But you’re intolerable! ’ ’ You have very serious emotional problems. ’ ’ Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. ’ ’ You’re not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax. ’ ’ Why? So you can pretend like you’re interested? ’ ’ Do not watch. I cannot go when you watch. ’ ’ I’ve got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. ’ ’ I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. ’ ’ After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down. ’ ’ Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. ’ ’ It’s cheaper than a movie, and there’s free coffee. ’ ’ Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. ’ ’ You need to forget about what you know, that’s your problem. ’ ’ You met me at a very strange time in my life. ’ ’ Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip. ’ ’ Yes, these are bruises from fighting. ’ ’ I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. ’ ’ Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. ’ ’ The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide. ’ ’ You don’t know where I’ve been. ’ ’ You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. ’ ’ Would you excuse me? I need to take this. ’ ’ Uh, well… You’re not gonna believe this… ’ ’ I know it seems like I have more than one side sometimes… ’ ’ I’ll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you’ll thank me. ’ ’ Every evening I died, and every evening I was born again, resurrected. ’ ’ When people think you’re dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just… waiting for their turn to speak. ’

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

heroheart

supergirl sentence meme: episode 4-6

you’re safe here.

saving the world means everybody.

you promised me that you were gonna be here.

i’m just- i’m freaking out.

she was mad at me for you not dating enough.

chocolate pecan pie is the best dessert in the galaxy.

you always looked great in blue.

i mean, she does kind of give off a sapphic vibe.

we can watch orphan bIack after.

you’re always warning me about something. that’s our dynamic.

if i could legally adopt her, i would.

people don’t want your brand of negativity anymore. they want optimism, hope, positivity.

if the weather’s getting you down, don’t worry. it never lasts.

she has always come down hard on me for not protecting you.

i truly hate hospitals.

how much longer until it’s appropriate for us to leave?

you and i both know that you’re tougher than a bolt of lightning.

i don’t understand how you could allow this.

she’s going to do things that you don’t like.

you know better. you should have stopped her.

the stars aren’t going anywhere.

you lied to me for years.

she risks her life to protect other people, and she’s a hero. and yet, i do the same, and i’m in trouble?

you were always so much harder on her than me.

and you and i– we’re gonna have words.

i’ve transcended. do you really care how or why?

i didn’t get where i am by running and hiding from a fight.

sounds like you’ve got your hands full here.

you’re useless.

everything i am, everything i have, is because of her constant pushing.

you always make the hard choice. you look to help others before yourself.

i wanted you to be better than me.

i can draw her out, but then we’ll have to work together.

cool, it’s like ghostbusters.

i really wanted one of you to watch the other one die.

congratulations, you have the wit of a youtube comment.

i wonder if i have enough power to stop your heart.

the world is full of so much noise and snark - much of it, we generate.

there’s a lot i don’t know about you. and that should probably change.

who cares what that guy says?

she’s taking on way too much, way too fast.

people who click don’t spy on each other!

if someone’s targeting one of my assets, i want to know who it is.

please don’t yell at me, this isn’t my job.

i didn’t know that she could smile if it wasn’t based on cruelty to others.

i didn’t tell you about it because i knew you would have this reaction.

get me a salad for lunch. i don’t care what kind as long as it has a cheeseburger on top.

she is living down to my expectations by prioritising her career over my own.

you know how sometimes people just want to help other people?

so, you think that if you do me this favour, i will owe you something.

that sounds like a woman who knows what she wants.

okay. that is cool.

she’s gorgeous, she’s smart, she smells nice– hell. even i want to date her.

well, was she out saving the world?

my mom says it’s okay to be a nerd. she says if you can face your fears and come out of your shell, then nerds can win in the end.

i prefer not to rely on the government to solve my problems.

i’m trying to change the world. so anyone invested in maintaining the status quo would be interested in targeting me.

and here, i thought we had something special.

i believe there’s no higher calling than helping others.

the world needs a new kind of hero.

i’ve never met anyone worth trusting.

that is a very lonely way to live.

you are staying home.

i don’t know what i would do without you.

you do not seem like the kind of person who gets frazzled.

just because i look a certain way on the outside, everyone assumes it matches the way i feel on the inside.

i don’t put much faith in the government’s idea of protection.

what happened to you was a tragedy. i’m trying to prevent another one.

be honest, your heart was never really in it.

i’m starting to think you have a thing for me.

i want to help you. i understand what it’s like to be overwhelmed, but you are not alone. i can help you.

please, do not kill all of those people.

we had an epic nerf gun battle.

you have just stumbled upon the most annoying question of the century and you are so young that you do not even realise it.

far too many women burn out trying to do too much before they’re ready.

you can have it all, just not at once and not right away. and not with that hair. use conditioner, for god’s sake.

in the end, you can’t control people. easy peasy fresh and squeezy.

i suspect that whoever is responsible for these attacks might be curious about you.

the fun is just beginning.

you cut me off, dude!

watch where you’re going next time!

you cannot lose control like that!

those idiots nearly killed people, and you’re getting mad at me?

that’s the thing. i am not mad, i am controlling my anger. i suggest you get into the habit.

i’m just glad these two men were only in the hospital, and not in the morgue.

call me old-fashioned, but i still prefer male doctors.

i need to find out what really happened to him. you’re the only one who can help us.

we have an executive order forcing you to comply.

game night is the last shred of normalcy that remains in our lives.

maybe the roar of the ocean will drown out the sound of her voice. or maybe it will just drown her. or me.

don’t you think you’ve made enough of a fool of yourself over him for one day?

everyone’s noticed how you throw yourself at him.

you should try being a little bit more professional.

it helps when you really know your partner.

it’s like when you see a movie star in person and you’re like ‘is that it?‘

i don’t say this often, but i am craving a good fight right now.

i’ve invested too much time and effort into this.

i’ve been screaming your name over and over for the past minute and a half. ninety seconds, i have been boiling alive in my office. ninety seconds, each of which, if amortised to reflect my earnings, is worth more than your yearly salary.

don’t talk to me like that! please! i work so hard for you! i don’t ask questions, i don’t complain, and all you do is yell at me and tell me i’m not good enough! and it’s mean! why are you so mean?!

i didn’t mean that. i don’t know what happened. i just snapped.

chop chop.

hope no one’s trying to kill me this time.

i’m not the bad guy.

it’s gone rogue, and i need your help to find it.

if you want to prove to me that you’re not the bad guy, then help me find the real one.

‘never trust a man who doesn’t drink, because he’s probably a self-righteous sort– a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time.‘

play nice.

you’re not good enough for her.

you ally yourself with people you think are special. but that doesn’t make you special. and i think you know that.

here’s the thing: everybody gets angry. there is no pill that will eradicate this particular emotion. i know this because if there were such a pill, i would be popping those babies like pex.

you apologise too much, which is a separate, although not unrelated, problem.

whatever you do, you cannot get angry at work. especially when you’re a girl.

he picked up a chair and he threw it out of the window because somebody missed a deadline. and no, he didn’t open the window first.

that would’ve been professional and cultural suicide.

the real key is that you need to figure out what’s really bothering you.

you weren’t really mad at me.

you need to find that anger behind the anger. figure out what’s really making you mad.

i’m not gonna let you hurt them!

you saved my life.

you let that thing get away- i thought you were on our side.

he used your humanity against you. and now more innocent humans could be in danger.

you seem to only help people if it helps you.

i’ve seen what happens to the selfless.

wow! and i thought rocky balboa practicing on dead cows was cool.

girls are taught to smile and keep it inside.

it’s not like black men are encouraged to be angry in public.

say what you’re mad about and then let the fists fly.

i hate how my emotions get the best of me!

i hate that i’m never gonna have a normal life!

i’m realising that being myself doesn’t make me feel more normal. and it never will.

think you can keep your cool this time?

i’m not afraid of my anger anymore. i can use it. channel it to work for me, not against me.

you’ll have to kill me.

we are on the same team.

i hope that one day, when you realise what a terrible mistake you’ve made, it won’t be too late.

you’re my hero.

you don’t get to talk to her that way.

i understand that you have always been threatened by my success and you try and elevate yourself by denigrating me.

be careful, you might cut yourself.

i’m bleeding.

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.

vaememes

° ✧ WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT PROMPTS.

triggers apply, mentions of death, murder, threats, sexuality and sexual/nsfw mentions. feel free to add/change pronouns.

❛ Anybody know you’re here? ❜ ❛ Well, you see, I didn’t know where your office was. ❜ ❛ In other words, the whole town knows you’re here! Get out! ❜ ❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. ❜ ❛ You don’t know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do. ❜ ❛ I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way. ❜ ❛ Don’t you realize you’re making a big mistake? ❜ ❛ I didn’t kill anybody. I swear! ❜ ❛ The whole thing’s a set up. A scam, a frame job. ❜ ❛ My whole purpose in life is to make… people… laugh! ❜ ❛ I’m out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? ❜ ❛ Toons are supposed to make people laugh. ❜ ❛ You don’t understand. Those people needed to laugh. ❜ ❛ Then when they’re done laughing, they’ll call the cops. ❜ ❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. ❜ ❛ Why? Because you made him/her laugh? ❜ ❛ Okay, nobody move! ❜ ❛ You heard me, I said drop it! ❜ ❛ I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage. ❜ ❛ I’d love to embrace you. ❜ ❛ Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool! ❜ ❛ Give me another excuse to pump you full of lead. ❜ ❛ So you thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? ❜ ❛ Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks. ❜ ❛ We toons may act idiotic, but we’re not stupid. ❜ ❛ You mean you could’ve taken your hand out of that cuff at any time? ❜ ❛ No, not at any time, only when it was funny. ❜ ❛ I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels. ❜ ❛ I want you to know I love you. ❜ ❛ Is he/she always this funny, or only on days when he’s/she’s wanted for murder? ❜ ❛ Can you guess what this is? ❜ ❛ Freeway? What the hell’s a freeway? ❜ ❛ Traffic jams will be a thing of the past. ❜ ❛ Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ❜ ❛ Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime? ❜ ❛ I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you. ❜ ❛ What do I look like? A stenographer? ❜ ❛ I’d say it was the booze talking. ❜ ❛ Got a thing for rabbits, huh? ❜ ❛ Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned. ❜ ❛ You think that’s funny? ❜ ❛ No hard feelings, I hope. ❜ ❛ You won’t think it’s funny when I stick that pen up your nose! ❜ ❛ Look, the stain is gone. It’s disappearing ink. ❜ ❛ The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller. ❜ ❛ So what happened, huh? ❜ ❛ You can drop anything you want on his head, he’ll shake it off. ❜ ❛ One too many refrigerators dropped on his head? ❜ ❛ Don’t you appreciate the magnitude of that? ❜ ❛ I’m surprised you’re not more cooperative. ❜ ❛ Remember how they always thought there wasn’t a way to kill a toon? ❜ ❛ That’s one dead shoe, eh, boss? ❜ ❛ I would think you of all people would appreciate that. ❜ ❛ I don’t know how many times we have to do this damn scene! ❜ ❛ If you really needed money so bad, then why didn’t you come to me? ❜ ❛ I’ve already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. ❜ ❛ So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me. ❜ ❛ Nose? That don’t rhyme with “walls.” ❜ ❛ Seriously, what do you see in that guy/girl? ❜ ❛ You need a heart, before you can have an attack. ❜ ❛ Are you trying to give me a heart attack? ❜ ❛ I can tell you now it ain’t gonna come cheap. ❜ ❛ Question is, do you have the way? ❜ ❛ Jumpin’ without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain’t it? ❜ ❛ I don’t think you want it. ❜ ❛ What the hell happened in here? ❜ ❛ I’ve never seen a mess like this! ❜ ❛ What do you call the middle of a song? ❜ ❛ What do you think you’re doing, chump? ❜ ❛ Don’t let me catch your peepin’ face around here again. Got it? ❜ ❛ Stop that laughing. ❜ ❛ You know what happens when you can’t stop laughing? ❜ ❛ One of these days, you’re gonna die laughing. ❜ ❛ We just want the rabbit. ❜ ❛ What are we gonna do? ❜ ❛ The best part is, they work for peanuts. ❜ ❛ Work’s been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. ❜ ❛ Long time, no see! ❜ ❛ What are you doing here? ❜ ❛ Remember you never saw me. ❜ ❛ Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room? ❜ ❛ That’s it. I’m calling the cops. ❜ ❛ I come here for help and what do you do? ❜ ❛ So long, and thanks for nothing. ❜ ❛ Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife! ❜ ❛ A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have. ❜

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

frommemetoyou

send a symbol - get the following from my muse ;

museinspo

send ✆ for a morning text send ♔ for an angry text send ♠ for a drunk text send ☏ for a vague text send ⁇ for a worried text send ♣ for a text not meant for you send ✺for a sassy text send √ for a long-winded confession text send ☠ for a misguided advice text send ☢ for a desperate text send ☼ for a congratulatory text send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

robbersdjh-deactivated20221115

‘prompts: 1) things you said at 1 am 2) things you said through your teeth 3) things you said too quietly 4) things you said over the phone 5) things you didn’t say at all 6) things you said under the stars and in the grass 7) things you said while we were driving 8) things you said when you were crying 9) things you said when I was crying 10) things you said that made me feel like shit 11) things you said when you were drunk 12) things you said when you thought I was asleep 13) things you said at the kitchen table 14)things you said after you kissed me 15) things you said with too many miles between us 16) things you said with no space between us 17) things you said that I wish you hadn’t 18) things you said when you were scared 19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were 20) things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear 21) things you said when we were on top of the world 22) things you said after it was over 23) things you said on the streetcar at 1 am 24) things you said with clenched fists 25) things you said in the back seat of a cab 26) things you said sitting still 27) things you said on the phone at 4 am 28) things you said but not out loud 29) things you said in the backyard at night 30) things you said on the highway 31) things you said while I cried in your arms 32) things you said I wouldn’t understand 33) things you said at the back of the theatre 34) things you said in your sleep 35) things you said that made me feel real 36) things you said you’ll never forget 37) things you said with the tv on mute 38)things you said while holding my hand’ 39) things you said when we first met 40) things you said when you met my parents 41) things you said you loved about me 42) things you said when you asked me to marry you 43) things you said in our vows 44) things you said before you kissed me 45) things you said on new year’s eve 46) things you said when you kissed me goodnight 47) things you said in a hotel room 48) things you said on our honeymoon 49) things you said when we were 18 50) things you said when we were 70 51) things you said as we danced in our socks 52) things you said with my lips on your neck 53) things you said in the dark 54) things you always meant to say but never got the chance 55) things you said under your breath 56) things you said in the spur of the moment 57) things you said when no one else was around 58) things you were afraid to say 59) things you said after we fell in love 60) things you said [make your own]

the ones with single quotes aren’t mine, but the rest are. great story and fic prompts

reblog if you want your followers to send you a number and pairing to write a fic about

(via robbersdjh)

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.#O.O #( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality

Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

lepusheart-a

On a scale from 1 to 10 how much do you think I understand the character I roleplay?

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.

somegrumpynerd

AU Where Geoff Slowly But Surely Becomes Dad Of The Crew

Like It Starts One Day When He Gets Michael A New Gun Or Car Or Something And Without Thinking Michael’s Like “Oh Sweet Thanks Dad” And Geoff’s Just “What” So Michael Just “What” And Immediately Leaves To Escape The Situation.

And At First He Doesn’t Think Much Of It, Just A Flub Like They All Do, Nothing Worth Noting, Until Gavin Calls Him Dad One Day And He Just Stops Like “What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me?” “Dad!” “I’m Not Your Father Dumbass” “Aw But Michael Got To Call You Dad That’s Not Fair! You Can’t Have Favourites!” And Michael Runs In From The Other Room Like “You Little PRICK” And Chases Gavin Off For Pointing It Out And Geoff’s Just Left Standing There Confused.

The Next Time Gavin Tries To Get Away With Calling Him Dad It’s Over Earpieces During A Heist And Geoff Quietly Hisses “Fucking Stop Calling Me That” And After A Moment Of Gavin Giggling Ray Comes On Like “So Can I Call You Papa Instead Or…?” And Geoff Nearly Blows Their Cover Loudly Insisting That He Cannot.

A While After Jeremy Joins He And Geoff Are Driving To Get Masks For A Heist And Laughing About Something, As They Approach The Mask Store Geoff’s Like “Alright, Everybody Calm Down” And Jeremy’s Just Immediately “Sorry Dad”. And At First Geoff’s Just Dumbfounded For A Second But Then He’s Like “Fucking- Did Gavin Tell You To Call Me That?” And Jeremy’s Just “What? No, Wait Gavin Calls You Dad?” And Geoff’s Like “No He-” And Ray Pipes Up From The Backseat “I’ve Been Using Pop Pop Is That Better?” And Geoff’s Like “No I’m Not Your Fucking Father!!”.

The Lads Are Caught Messing Around On His Yacht Again (Probably With Rocket Launchers, Thanks Ryan) And He Turns To Jack Like “You Said You Were Watching Them, Can’t You Keep Them Under Control For Five Minutes??” And Jack Just Crosses Her Arms Like “They’re Your Kids Too Y’know!” And Geoff’s Just “I- THEY’RE NOT MY KIDS”. When They Finally Get The Lads Reeled In Again Geoff’s So Frustrated He Just Points Them To The Penthouse And Deadpans “Go To Your Rooms.”.

Afterwards He Flops Down On The Couch With A Bottle Of Whisky To Unwind And Notices Ryan Out Of The Corner Of His Eye, Sitting On The Other End Of The Couch And Grinning At Him.

“…What” “Daddy” “You’re Fucking Fired”

#( geoff. ) BOSS MAN.#( mun stuff. ) YES I'M HAVING A FUCKING GIGGLE MATE.#oh m y g od #ry AN #( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

scarletxspider-deactivated20131

send me a ✿ and i’ll generate a number.

rpmemes-galore

kxllercolt:

1: aggressive kiss

2: all over kiss

3: back kiss

4: cheek kiss

5: eyelid kiss

6: fingers kiss

7: firm kiss

8: first kiss

9: forehead kiss

10: french kiss

11: gentle kiss

12: scar kiss

13: hand kiss

14: jawline kiss

15: last kiss

16: neck kiss

17: rain kiss

18: stomach kiss

19: underwater kiss

20: upside down kiss

#( memes. ) I WOULDN'T KNOW A DANK MEME IF IT DANKED ME IN THE ASS.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

tekkoman

♫♩♬♪

#( mun stuff. ) YES I'M HAVING A FUCKING GIGGLE MATE.#blood tw #WH Y IS THSI S O FUNNY #( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

behindthefourthwall

they said tony stark is a villain… i said bitch where?

requested by anonymous

#ME THOUGH!!!!!!!!#BITCH W H E R E #( mun stuff. ) YES I'M HAVING A FUCKING GIGGLE MATE.#long post for ts

•18+ Adults Only

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inconvenientfights

Just this once?

#( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

kakin-my-spaffs

#BANG BANG BITCH #( self. ) SEASONS DON'T FEAR.#( queue. ) IF I WANTED QUEUE DEAD I'D BE EATING YOUR KIDNEY.

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