We Are Not Heroes

Instead, the boys decide to create a nest for you on the couch, with everything to keep you comfortable right within reach. There are four blankets piled up, two beneath you to make the couch even cushier, and two next to you in case you become cold. Luke’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunchbox sits one cushion over, its ice pack keeping a bottle of water and an orange Gatorade cold and ready for consumption. Ryan, the taller of the two, wasn’t able to reach the top shelf in the pantry and grab the cookies (which is exactly why the treats are kept so high up), so the boys brought in every type of chip they could scavenge together. They had hoped for more than just three different kinds, but one of Eddie’s errands for the day is to go to the grocery store for a reason. So, Luke set a can of Pringles between a bag of nacho cheese Doritos and a bag of salt and vinegar Lays. 

The boys also provide you with the book you’re currently reading, but your sore neck only lets you read for ten minutes before you have to put it down. Luke then scoops the remote off the coffee table and quickly scrolls through the television guide. You have to look away because the speed he’s clicking away with starts to make you feel nauseous. He briefly stops on an episode of Scooby Doo, unable to resist the temptation. Ryan elbows him in the side, though, and that breaks the spell. Unfortunately, there’s nothing on that interests you at the moment. Ryan is about to suggest one of the many movies in the household collection when Luke gets an idea. 

“Wait,” the ten-year-old says, grabbing his brother’s arm. “Come with me.”

Ryan isn’t given a chance to answer before Luke drags him up the stairs. 

“Okay,” you say into the empty room. With one hand on your bump, you reach over and grab the can of Pringles. 

Ryan and Luke disappear long enough for you to finish the rest of the can, which wasn’t completely full, you tell yourself. 

There’s some scuffling from their rooms, the usual back-and-forth bickering that luckily doesn’t escalate. You’re far too exhausted to even consider breaking up a Munson brother fight. 

“Okay, you remember the words, right?” Luke whispers loudly. 

“Yeah, obviously.” You can practically hear Ryan’s eyeroll. “I’m the one who wrote them down.”

“I’m the one who wrote them—ow!” Luke’s nasal mocking is cut short with a thud. “Push me again and I’ll kick your—”

“BOYS.”

The arguing stops the moment you raise your voice. Probably to avoid another one of your pregnancy hormone-induced crying spells, which may have happened the last time they fought. 

Whatever works. 

“Are you ready?” Luke calls from somewhere near the top of the stairs. 

“For what?” you call back.

“You’ll see!”

“Then how do I know if I’m ready for it?” you tease.

“Just…” Luke sputters. “You’re ready!”

A chuckle rumbles out of you, and you settle a hand on your bump. You truly don’t know if you’re ready for whatever the boys have cooked up, but you also know that you don’t have a choice. 

The thuds that pound down the stairwell sound like a stampede of wildebeasts instead of two boys. 

You had hoped that when you saw them, you’d get some clue as to what they’re planning. You couldn’t be more wrong. 

Both boys are wearing their black slacks and suit jackets that they had worn to your and Eddie’s wedding. The waistband of the red cotton shorts Luke is wearing peeks out from the top of the slacks, and he and Ryan are both wearing the t-shirts they had on all day beneath the jackets. Your wedding was only seven months ago, but you still notice that the slacks are shorter on the two boys than they were back in February. A surge of pregnancy hormones rushes forward, making you emotional at how big Luke and Ryan are getting, and how they’re growing so fast. But you manage to swallow it down as you take in the rest of the boys’ ensembles. 

Each of them is wearing their sunglasses, and Luke has his black baseball hat on, while Ryan has Eddie’s black beanie on his head. The beanie is too big since Ryan’s head isn’t as large as his father’s, so the top of it flops down to the right, despite it being pulled down to just above his sunglasses. 

In bold green magic marker (at least, you hope it’s washable), each boy has written their name on their knuckles. 

“What on earth—”

You abruptly end your sentence as Luke lunges forward to grab the remote control for the television and the one for the DVD player. The younger brother tosses the smaller DVD remote to Ryan and keeps the bigger one for himself. 

The two of them look at one another, Ryan gives a nod, and they take their positions. They stand next to one another, their chins dipped, and their eyes on the floor. 

“Dun, dun.” At Ryan’s imitation of the opening notes of a song, both boys sway to the left, then right at each beat. 

The warden threw a party in the county jail

The prison band was there, and they began to wail 

Luke has his remote lifted to his mouth like a microphone as he begins to sing. Ryan holds his remote up to his mouth as well, and it takes you a few seconds to realize he’s holding it horizontally to his lips, as if it were a harmonica. 

The band was jumping, and the joint began to swing

You should've heard them knocked out jailbirds sing 

A peal of laughter bursts out of you as you realize you’re watching a Blues Brothers performance. 

Let's rock

Everybody, let's rock

Everybody in the whole cell block

Was dancing to the Jailhouse Rock 

The brothers step side to side, mimicking the choreography of Jake and Elwood in the film. The whole spectacle of it: the improvised costumes, the remotes as a microphone and a harmonica, the dance steps from the movie, Luke’s buoyant child voice singing the Elvis lyrics; it tickles you pink. You break into a fit of giggles as you watch your sons perform. 

It also strikes you, seeing them in this element, how much like Eddie they each are in their own way. Luke obviously looks like a miniature version of his father, but seeing the way he hams it up as a natural performer he channels his father so completely that the resemblance goes far beyond looks. Though Ryan’s physical likeness to Eddie might not be as pronounced as his brother, watching him pretend to rock out on his fake harmonica he becomes his father incarnate, every movement and expression echoing him perfectly. 

Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone

Little Joe was blowing on the slide trombone

The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang

The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang 

Between Luke’s boisterous singing and the way you’re laughing in unabashed enjoyment, none of you hear the front door open. The swish of plastic grocery bags is what first alerts you to Eddie’s presence as he steps into the room. 

You look over your shoulder and see your husband looking at his sons, his eyebrows raised and his expression beyond amused. 

They each look up at him in return, Ryan’s sunglasses slipping down his nose as he does, but the true performers they are, they know the show must go on. 

Let's rock

Everybody, let's rock

Everybody in the whole cell block

Was dancing to the Jailhouse Rock 

Without a word, Eddie walks into the kitchen. He obviously needs to set the bags down, but the noise you hear coming from that part of the house goes beyond the simple chore. 

Number forty-seven said to number three

"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see"

I sure would be delighted with your company

Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me" 

As Luke finishes the verse, Eddie steps back into the room, his guitar strapped around him, a pick in his hand. He comes in with the music exactly at the point the boys are at in the song. The ease with which their father joins in amazes the boys. They halt in their performances to stare up at their dad.

“You can play this song?” Luke asks, dumbfounded.

“Yeah,” Eddie says with a laugh, finding his youngest son’s confusion amusing. “You think I grew up in the same house as Grandpa and didn’t learn how to play some Elvis songs on the guitar?”

“Oh, your grandfather and his love for Elvis,” you chime in fondly. 

“Is that why he rewinds this scene over and over again in the movie so much?” Ryan asks.

“That, and The Blues Brothers is a damn good movie,” Eddie responds. 

“Do you know the trombone song?” Luke asks. “The one that goes wah wah wahhhh wah wah wah wah…”

Eddie stifles a laugh. “Maybe we save Minnie the Moocher for when you’re older.”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Luke says, waving his free hand in the air. “We gotta start from the top.”

You look up at your husband, amusement dancing in your eyes.

“You’re not even going to ask how this all started?” 

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nope,” he says. 

“We are providing entertainment,” Ryan answers anyway. 

“Yeah, so she’s less miserable,” Luke tells his dad. 

“You think she’ll be less miserable with you singing?” Eddie teases with a smirk. 

Luke’s little jaw pops open as his face scrunches. 

“Your voice is lovely!” you assure Luke. 

The ten-year-old turns to you and bows his head.

“Thank you,” he says pointedly. “Now,” he says, facing his father again, “from the top!”

Eddie gives him a salute as Ryan retakes his opening position. 

Dun dun the guitar wails. 

The warden threw a party in the county jail

The prison band was there, and they began to wail

The band was jumping, and the joint began to swing

You should've heard them knocked out jailbirds sing 

7 Weeks

“That feels so good, Eddie…”

He attaches his lips to the sweet spot under her jaw, sucking and licking just the right way to coax those sexy little noises from inside of her but nothing was working. No matter how much he touched her, how much he made her sing sweet little praises for him- Eddie just couldn’t get into it.

This had been going on for weeks. Several long, grueling weeks where things would be getting hot and heavy with his girlfriend, Chrissy, and nothing went anywhere past him feeling her up. No matter how much he touched her, kissed her, went down on her- nothing worked. He just couldn’t get there. Hell, he couldn’t even get it up. It was like some weird curse that rendered his dick completely useless- and he was sick and fucking tired of it.

He knew the cause. You. You and your weird fucking spell on him. The sick psychological hold that you’ve gained over him ever since he sunk his cock into you and fucked you that night- giving him the most amazing, mind-blowing sex that he’s ever had in his entire life. Now he couldn’t even get hard for his girlfriend of almost two years- the one that he had sworn was the girl of his dreams. Now look at him- limp and helpless as Chrissy begged for him in the back of his shitty van. It was doing literally nothing for him.

“Chrissy…” Eddie moans, trying to kickstart something- anything. But he knew he might as well just give up. The fickle friend in his pants had felt the most divine cunt on the face of planet earth- hell, maybe even the universe itself- and couldn’t be bothered with anything else- anyone else.

His body knew what it wanted, his heart knew what it wanted- yet, Eddie still tried desperately to trick his own mind. That all it was with you that night was hot, emotionless sex between two friends. Something that would never, ever be repeated. No strings attached. That’s all it was and all it would ever be. Never to be spoken of again. So, why did his body yearn for you the way that it did?

When it happened the first two times with Chrissy, he worried that something was wrong with him. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get hard. Barely even a twitch in reaction to things that she used to do that would drive him crazy. He worried that it was medical. That he was suffering from early on-set erectile dysfunction- that he was broken. But, a few days afterwards, he found out the truth. The real cause.

He was lying in bed, sexually frustrated and overly worked up when he pulled out one of his dirty magazines from under his mattress, flipping it open to a page of a busty blonde in a tiny pink bikini. He stared at it for a while until it hit him. He recognized that bikini. It was one that you had. One that you had worn the previous summer to a trip to the lake.

He remembered it because of how high cut the bottoms were, showing off your perfect legs and the sexy plushness of your soft thighs. The way that the bikini top accentuated your gorgeous tits. He remembered that bikini so well that his cock began to strain against the fabric of his plaid pajama pants- hard and thick underneath the material as his mind went wild at the thought of you.

You.

It wasn’t him. He wasn’t broken. His fucking dick was in full working order.

It was you. The cause of all of this.

“Jesus H Christ!” Eddie groaned, grabbing the pillow next to him as he threw it at the wall. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way that sex with you, alone, was so good that he was ruined for anyone else. No. Nope. There was no fucking way.

But, boy, was Eddie wrong. Because, here he was, in the back of his van with his girlfriend and completely unable to pop a boner. This was a fucking dilemma.

Eddie continues to kiss her, hoping and praying against all odds that things would happen on their own unlike the last time that he had hooked up with Chrissy. It was just after his discovery that you were seemingly the key to his libido that Eddie was making out with her in her bedroom, getting hot and heavy. Just like now, he was trying hard to get….hard. He was struggling badly, becoming embarrassed at his lack of ability to perform. It wasn’t until he closed his eyes and let his mind drift off into thoughts of you that he could finally get his dick to cooperate.

In no time, he was harder than he’s been in weeks- grabbing and touching Chrissy as he replayed the events of that night in his head. The taste of your chaste kisses, the silky smooth feel of your warm skin pressed against his, the way your legs wrapped around his waist, the velvety soft walls of your cunt enveloping him as he worked his cock inside of you. Was it cheating? Thinking of you while he was fucking Chrissy? Eddie didn’t know but he tried to keep his mind on the sweet moans tumbling from Chrissy lips as he pretended that they were coming from you.

He reveled in his dirty thoughts, trying to relive the best sex he’s ever had while making love to someone else. Trying to forget that, while Chrissy felt nice, she didn’t feel like you. She wasn’t you. Her body wasn’t yours. Her face wasn’t yours. The sounds she made weren’t yours. Her pussy wasn’t yours. Eddie couldn’t deny it. It was you. It had always been you. So, why did it take his dick not working to finally figure that out? Especially when you were snuggling up to Steve Harrington right in front of his face. Eddie had feared that he had come to this discovery a little too late.

“Hey, you okay?”

His eyes snap open, looking down at Chrissy who was staring up at him. He was so in his head that he didn’t realize that Chrissy’s hand was pawing at him over his jeans. She knew.

“S-shit.” Eddie breathes, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration “Yeah. I’m…I’m fine. I’m sorry, Chris. I just-“

“It’s okay.” Chrissy replies, reaching her hand up to caress his cheek. God, he didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve you either. Eddie deserved to be limp, miserable, and alone.

“No.” Eddie shakes his head “It’s not. It….it’s not you. I’m just…I’m in my fuckin’ head again.”

“About what?” Chrissy pries, wanting to help but Eddie knew there was no way on earth that he’d ever confide in her that the reason that he couldn’t fuck her was because he was too hung up on fucking someone else.

“Just….stuff.” He replies vaguely “The Hellfire campaign. The fuckin’ alternator in the van. All of those damn fix-it projects that Wayne wants me to do in the trailer. I’m just stressed, sweetheart.”

Liar.

Goddamn lying son of a bitch.

“Well, I can see why you’re stressed.” Chrissy offers, sitting up from the floor of the van, looking into Eddie’s eyes “You know that I’m always here if you need me, right, Eddie? Always.”

What a sweet fucking angel. An angel that doesn’t deserve this. A sweet, sweet girl that deserved to be with someone who was sure about her. Not someone that runs off and screws someone else immediately after they have a stupid lover’s spat. She deserved someone that actually regrets what he did. Did he feel guilty? Yes. Does he regret that night with you? No. He wouldn’t change a thing about what happened- besides the fact that he didn’t stay that night. Maybe, if he had, you wouldn’t be falling for Steve.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, Chrissy?” He asks, meeting her eyes again as she looked at him like he held the world in his hands.

“I love you.”

And he wanted to say it back. God, he really fucking wanted to. But would that be fair? Could he really lie to her face when he didn’t really know how he felt any more? When there was someone else in his heart, taking up the space that she once occupied? Eddie might be an asshole for what he did but he couldn’t deliberately lie. He couldn’t say those words to her if he didn’t know if he really felt them. Instead, he reached for her- using his ring-clad hand to sweep a strand of hair out of her face before tucking it behind her ear- an empty smile on his face.

“Yeah…I know.”

────────

He needed to talk to you.

It had been weeks of awkwardly orbiting around each other and Eddie was done with it. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted you back. He missed you. Even if he couldn’t have you the way that he wanted to, he would settle for whatever you would give him- grateful to just be in your life in whatever capacity that you would allow him. He didn’t care if you wanted to be with him, not put a label on things, or just remain your friend like he’s always been. He just wanted to be near you- and he had to let you know. Like, now.

Before be could talk himself out of it, he pulled away from the curb- having just dropped Chrissy off at home. He needed to see you. He needed to be a fucking man for once and tell you exactly where he stood. Just be honest and open. He would put his heart out on the line and let the chips fall where they may.

────────

As you unlocked the front door of your apartment, you open it up to find Steve Harrington on the other side- holding a large bouquet of wildflowers.

“Hey,” He breathes, standing awkwardly with the bunch of flowers in his hand.

“Hi.” You reply.

“These…uh…these are for you. I know that flowers probably aren’t going to make today not shitty but I thought I could at least try and do something to make it a little less shitty, you know?”

Steve offers you the bouquet as you take it in your hands, smelling their light floral scent.

“Steve, you didn’t have to do this.” You say, admiring the gorgeous bunch of botanicals “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“Of course, yeah.” Steve says “Are you ready? To…you know…”

“Yeah.” You reply, not wanting him to have to come out and say it- not that you even wanted to hear it either. “I’m ready…I guess.”

“Okay.” Steve nods “Like I said, I’m here. For anything. As long as you need me.”

Your eyes began to water unexpectedly, believing that you had it together but clearly overestimated your ability to process the gigantic decision that you were about to make. You open your mouth to speak but you were interrupted by Steve grabbing you into a hug, holding you close to him as he rubbed your back. Again, you didn’t have to say a thing to Steve. He already knew. He understood.

“Alright.” He sighs, pulling away from you after a moment “I’m ready whenever you are.”

────────

Eddie cruised down your street, circling your neighborhood for the second time as he drummed his fingers impatiently against the steering wheel- trying to think of what he was going to say. Every time he thought he got a good start on his speech to you, he lost his train of thought or got frustrated with himself for not being able to properly articulate exactly how he felt in a way that he knew you’d understand.

He felt like his feelings for you were too big to pack into sentences. Too vast and full of emotion to capture exactly how much he cared about you- respected you. He wanted to do it right. He didn’t want to do it half-assed like he had done with so many other things in his life. He wanted his words to mean something. To hit you exactly the way that he intended them to. For you to feel exactly what it is that he felt in his heart for you.

He thinks about doing another loop around when he spots Steve’s oh-so-familiar maroon BMW.

No. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Fuck! Eddie agonizes.

Eddie drives his van around for another quick lap, mainly to find a place to park near your apartment without being seen.

What the hell is Harrington doing over here parked in front of your place?

Eddie’s mind begins to race as he tries to convince himself that the car in front of your apartment didn’t belong to Steve Harrington.

How does he know that it really is Steve’s car? It could belong to someone else. Someone who happened to drive the same colored BMW.

When the fuck have you ever seen anyone else drive a BMW in Hawkins besides King Steve? Eddie thinks. Of course it’s his car.

But what would he be doing in your apartment?

Eddie’s head becomes bombarded by thoughts of you and Steve hooking up. The thought of Steve having sex with you in the same bed as Eddie had caused him to feel an emotion he’s never quite felt before. Was it rage?

Just then, Eddie watches you emerge from the inside of your apartment- Steve Harrington in tow.

Jesus Christ, this can’t be happening.

To make matters worse, you were holding a large bouquet of multi-colored flowers as Steve’s hand lands firmly onto the small of your back- escorting you to his BWM.

He’s touching you, Eddie thought, watching as he leads you to the passenger side of the car- opening up the door for you like an oh-so-proper gentleman. It made Eddie sick.

Was this a date? Had Harrington asked you out? And you said yes? Had he bought you flowers? Nice ones that were so thoughtful in addition to taking you out to be wined and dined- already giving you things that Eddie couldn’t afford? By the looks of things, the odds of telling you how he felt weren’t seeming very good. You had clearly found someone else. Someone who was single, emotionally available, and probably open and honest with how he felt about you- unlike Eddie.

That night, you had told him about how badly you didn’t want to be alone. That you wished that someone loved you. Now, to Eddie’s dismay, you seemed to have found that. Unfortunately, it wasn’t with him.

Eddie’s heart felt like it was being pulled out of his chest as he watched the way that Steve Harrington looked at you. He looked at you the way that you deserved to be looked at- how Eddie should’ve been looking at you all along.

Steve holds your hand as you lower yourself into the passenger seat of his car, treating you as if you were precious cargo. After making sure that you were in the car safely, Steve closed the door- walking over to the drivers side to let himself in.

He starts up the car, probably reaching over the center console to hold your hand as he backs out of his parking spot. He was probably taking you out to show you off to everyone in Hawkins- just like you deserved. Meanwhile, Eddie was sitting there watching you move on and date someone who was almost worthy of you- while Eddie knew that he’d never be.

As Steve’s car peels off, Eddie watches as he tries to decide what to do next. Does he follow you? Does he back off and just respect that things are clearly over before they even had a chance to start? Eddie didn’t know. All he knew is that he felt selfish trying to put his feelings for you in front of a potential love that you deserved more than anything. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. All he knew was that he had never felt stronger emotions for you. Now all he wanted more than anything in the world was to hear that you loved him too.

────────

“Doing okay?”

You look over to find Steve staring at you, his forehead wrinkling with concern as you both sat in the Planned Parenthood waiting room. You felt like you had been sitting in these uncomfortable chairs next to each other for hours- holding hands as you waited for your name to be called.

“I guess.” You sigh, looking around the clinic waiting room at the posters on the wall depicting pregnant women- a jar of free condoms sitting on the edge of the receptionist desk. If only you had one a little over a month ago.

“Are you scared?” Steve asks, taking in your rigid body language as you sat beside him. He could only imagine what you were feeling right now.

“Yeah.” You answer truthfully.

You were terrified. You knew that you couldn’t bring Steve back to the room with you for the procedure and it made you feel uneasy- like you were going to go through it alone. If it were up to you, you’d never let Steve leave your side. Even though you were scared, his presence made you feel safe- and if there was anything you needed right now, it was that.

“It’ll be okay.” Steve replies, squeezing your hand “Hey, how about we go to Benny’s or something after this? Order some disgustingly greasy burgers and not feel guilty about it. You know, if you feel up to it after.”

You smile a little before nodding.

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

A nurse pops out into the lobby with a clipboard, announcing your name which causes your stomach to drop. Fuck.

You begin to rise from your seat before Steve grabs at your hand again, causing you to look back at him.

“Everything is gonna be okay. I promise.” He assures you “I’ll be out here if you need me.”

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat as so many emotions wash over you. The next time you walk back out into this lobby, you won’t be pregnant anymore. You’d have nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t be stressed over whether or not you could make it as a single mom. You would no longer be carrying Eddie’s baby. It should be a relief for you. So why doesn’t it feel that way?

────────

The crunch of the exam paper underneath you was the only sound in the room. You had changed out of your clothes and into a medical gown. The cold chill in the room gave you goosebumps as you waited some more.

You didn’t know why but all you could think about while sitting on that cold exam chair was Eddie. Where he was, what he was doing, who he was with. Was he with Chrissy? Spending time with his adoring girlfriend as you sat half-naked in a drafty exam room waiting to get rid of his baby? The only evidence to exist as proof of that one night that you had shared. A night you still thought about.

This was the right thing to do. You couldn’t raise a baby alone. Even if you could, how could you keep it from everyone? As soon as you would begin to show, everyone would start to ask questions- especially Eddie. How would you even explain? Then there was the thought of Eddie’s life completely ending because of you and the baby if you kept it.

Eddie probably liked how things were. He had Corroded Coffin. He had continued Hellfire outside of Hawkins High after (finally) graduating so that he could still play with his friends. He lived for Hellfire. He spent so much time planning his campaigns. He probably loved the freedom he had by not being tied to a kid and a “baby mama” by proxy. Eddie was a free man that could do whatever he wanted. If you had this baby, that would change. It would be selfish.

Then you thought of Chrissy Cunningham. How she would react to finding out that you were carrying her boyfriend’s baby. You didn’t know Chrissy well but you knew her enough to know that she was sweet and kind and didn’t deserve this. You having her boyfriend’s baby would ruin things for her too. What if Eddie planned on marrying Chrissy and living happily ever after with each other? How could you allow yourself to ruin that? A baby would destroy that happiness. And how could you live with that?

A knock at the exam room door startles you, alerting you to the doctor that was letting herself in.

“Hi there.” She greets “I’ll be your doctor today. I see that we have a termination scheduled. Have you ever had one before?”

“No.” You shake your head “This is my first time being pregnant.”

“I see,” the doctor replies, walking over to the exam room sink to wash her hands “Well, the procedure is pretty straightforward. Part of the process is performing an ultrasound so that I can find out just how far along you are. Then we’ll move on to giving you a pelvic exam. This is just so we can further confirm the gestational period of the fetus in addition to the ultrasound and also to make sure that everything is okay and that there will be no potential complications that could prevent the procedure. Sound okay?”

You agree with the doctor’s terms as she pulls on a pair of exam gloves.

“If you don’t mind, could you lay back for me and place the heels of your feet into the stirrups here? Then we’ll get started.”

You do ask you’re told, feeling bare and exposed as you spread your legs for the doctor in front of you. The feeling was odd and uncomfortable- making you wish that you could be anywhere else.

“Okay, I’m going to start now. If there’s any discomfort, you just let me know, okay?”

────────

“Henderson, you don’t fucking get it.”

Eddie felt like he was losing his mind- trying to explain to Dustin what he saw outside of your apartment with Steve.

“Something has to be going on. Are you sure you haven’t noticed anything going on between them? Has Harrington said anything to you about asking her out?”

“No.” Dustin deadpans, tired of watching Eddie pace back and forth in his bedroom- the chains on his jeans jangling as he agonized over you and Steve. Wondering what all of this meant for him.

“Seriously, Henderson? You haven’t even heard him mention liking her?”

“Eddie, in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t keep up with Steve’s conquests. He isn’t exactly known to stick with one particular member of the female species.” Dustin sasses, causing Eddie to stop his pacing.

“You think he’s just using her to get into her pants?” Eddie interrogates. His heart began to feel heavy. If Steve Harrington was using you in any sort of way for his own personal gain, Eddie would surely inflict some form of physical harm on him.

“Eddie, why do you even care?” Dustin questions “You’re dating Chrissy.”

“Yeah, no shit, Henderson.” Eddie argues “That doesn’t mean that I can’t...you know…have concerns.”

“So that’s what you’re choosing to call it?” Dustin retorts “‘Concern’?” Dustin puts the word concern into air quotes with his fingers.

“What’s all that about?” Eddie asks accusingly, gesturing to Dustin's previous action “Are you trying to say that I don’t care about Harrington potentially using her for sex or whatever and then hurting her feelings?”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Eddie. What I am saying is that concerned doesn’t seem like the right word for this. This sounds like jealousy.”

“Jealous?” Eddie whips around, eyeing Dustin “Of Mr Fuckin’ Perfect and his stupid hair? Yeah, okay, Henderson. Go ahead and add that to your list of bullshit.”

“Sounds like jealousy to me…” Dustin sings, reveling in the way that Eddie was spiraling.

“Not jealous.” Eddie argues, trying to ignore his annoying little underling. Jealous? Him? What the fuck did Henderson know?

“Uh-huh. Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Dustin snorts.

“Shut up. Right now.”

“You know, for two people who are supposedly soooo ‘platonic’, you two sure do a lot of completely-not-platonic shit together.”

“Yeah? And what would you know, Dusty Bun?” Eddie spits, trying and failing to invalidate Dustin’s point before realizing that it was kind of irrefutable.

“What do I know?” Dustin snorts “That tough shit Mr. Dungeon Master Eddie Munson is in looooove. So totally pathetically in love, by the way. You know, just for the record.”

“Yeah? And what do you fucking know, dipshit?” Eddie insults, crossing his arms defiantly.

“That you’re so totally undeniably in love with her that you’re practically her bitch.” Dustin deadpans.

“Whoa.” Eddie replies, pointing an accusatory finger at Dustin “Watch it.”

“Dude, you literally pick up her tampons from the store when she asks you.”

“So?” Eddie retorts “That’s not- Look, that’s friend stuff.”

“Sure, Eddie. By the way, when’s the last time you’ve seen me buy tampons for Max? Or Erica? Or El, for that matter?”

“You don’t have the same type of relationship with them that I have with-“ Eddie stops, knowing that it’s not going to help his case so he might as well rest it.

“I’m just saying, I’m surprised that you two haven’t finally fucking gotten over yourselves and hooked up. You know I have a bet going with Mike and Will, right? That if you-“ Dustin stops mid-sentence, immediately taking in the guilty look on Eddie’s face. A look that revealed everything. The cat was out of the bag.

“No.” Dustin gasps, his eyes widening in shock “No way. No fucking way!”

Eddie opens his mouth to try and cover his tracks but it was too late. What was the point of even denying it?

“How? When?” Dustin pries, feeling like his head was spinning.

“It was only one time.” Eddie sighs, sinking down onto the edge of Dustin’s bed. “We literally haven’t talked about it since.”

“Holy shit. So that’s why you guys have been so weird lately?”

“Yeah.” Eddie sighs “I guess.”

“When did this happen? Why am I just now hearing about this?” Dustin asks “Shit, what about Chrissy?”

“Henderson, really? Please don’t fucking bring up Chrissy right now.” Eddie agonizes.

“So, was it, like, bad? And that’s why you two aren’t talking?”

“What? No!” Eddie replies, immediately offended “No, it wasn’t bad. I mean….can I level with you, man?”

Dustin hesitates for a moment, trying to decide if he really wanted to know all of the gory little details of yours and Eddie’s “encounter.”

“Yeah.” Dustin painstakingly agrees “Keep it, like, PG-13 though. I love you, man, but I don’t wanna know more than I need to know about you.”

“Henderson….” Eddie starts before stopping. Contemplating. “Fuck….how do I say this without seeming all…okay, look, not to be dramatic or anything but it was the best thing I’ve ever experienced. Like, otherworldly. Fucking…..do you remember the end of my Hellfire campaign in March of ‘86? When Sinclair rolled that 20 and defeated Vecna?”

“Yeah…?” Dustin replies, eyeing Eddie with confusion.

“It was better than that. Way fucking better. Infinitely better. It was….”

Eddie collapses back onto the mattress underneath him, staring up at Dustin’s bedroom ceiling.

“It was….wow.” He continues “It was like….nailing the whole guitar solo of Van Halen’s Eruption on the first fucking try. Jesus Christ, she was…..” Eddie trails off, smiling to himself as he relished in thoughts of you. You, you, beautifully gorgeous you.

“Henderson, I’d freely relinquish the rights to my left fucking nutsack to feel that again. Fuck, maybe even both my pinkies. I could very well not be able to play guitar ever again and I wouldn’t even fucking care. You know that shit that those fucking shitty gossip mags talk about? The ones that your mommy reads? Like, how to have the most mind-blowing orgasm of all-time or some shit? It was that, Henderson. Which is why this whole fucking situation with Harrington is a goddamn fucking dilemma, okay? Because Harrington might get to experience that. And if he does, it’s over for me, you understand? I’m fucking cooked. Harrington is going to want to marry her and give her his fucking perfect-haired little crotch demons. And I would not fucking blame him, Henderson. Not even a fucking little bit because she’s that fucking good! Amazing! So do you fucking see the point I’m making here? I really need you to open your naive little eyes and understand that I cannot…let…this…happen. ‘Kay?”

It takes a moment for everything to process for Dustin.

“Okay…” he replies slowly “So, what are you gonna do?”

“That’s the problem, Henderson.” Eddie replies “I. Don’t. Know.”

“Eddie, I was kind of joking before but I seriously mean this when in say it….I think you’re in love.”

“In love?” Eddie scoffs “No. I don’t think so.”

“Okay….but do you, you know, like her?”

“Of course. Yeah. I love her, y’know. Just not….like that.” Eddie lies, pretending that he hadn’t just had his epiphany in the back of his van while Chrissy was trying to touch his limp dick. Eddie was in love with you. He had been for while. A long while. Possibly even way longer than he realized. But was he ready to verbally admit that? Especially to Dustin Henderson who wouldn’t let him live it down? Fuck no.

“Eddie?” Dustin asks “Can I level with you?”

Did Eddie want Dustin to level with him? Absolutely not.

“Nope.” Eddie shakes his head “No.”

“Eddie, I think you’re really confused.” Dustin points out “I really don’t know what you’re feeling but you’re not making any sense. First of all, you only like her as a friend but you guys hooked up? I mean, that right there is weird enough. Second, you don’t have feelings for her but you’re worried that something is going on with her and Steve? To which, in my opinion, sounds like jealousy and not concern. You just performed a fucking heartfelt soliloquy on how amazing your hook-up was. You’re worried about Steve taking advantage of her but then you also worry that Steve is going to want to be, like, her boyfriend or something. Wouldn’t that be what you want to happen? That Steve actually likes her and that he could be serious about her? Or are you agonizing over this because you love her and don’t want to admit it?

“….But he’s not serious about her.” Eddie starts, continuing to argue his point that made less and less sense to Dustin.

“You don’t know that though.” Dustin shrugs “Would it really be that bad if Steve dated her? I mean, you know Steve. Steve is cool.”

“Absolutely fucking not, Henderson. I will not under any circumstances let her date Harrington.” Eddie emphasizes, tripling down on what he said.

“I mean, I’m not trying to be a dick here, Eddie, but you kind of don’t have a choice. She can date who she wants to.”

“Not Harrington.” Eddie wrinkles his nose in disgust.

“Eddie, I don’t think we’re getting anywhere.” Dustin groans.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Eddie, look, I’m going to say this very slowly. Whether you want to hear it or not. So listen up….you are in love with her. Cut the fucking shit and just admit it. I don’t know what you want to do with that information but you need to decide. You two hooked up. You have feelings for her even though you have a girlfriend, might I add. Now you’re jealous of Steve because he probably wants her too. Look, I know you’ve always said that there’s no shame in running but maybe you should stop running and face the facts. You’re into her. Like, big time into her.”

“I…no. No, no, no. I am not in love with her. I know what love is, Henderson. I’ve experienced love. With Chrissy. I love Chrissy. I will always love Chrissy. Chrissy fucking Cunningham. Who is the love of my life. This that I feel with…” Eddie couldn’t even speak your name. The feeling of it heavy in his tongue “It’s…no. It’s not love. I know it’s not love. Definitely not love. Chrissy is the love of my life. Things between me and Chrissy are, you know…it’s, like, it for me and her. This whole hookup thing was just a mistake. A bad decision that never should’ve happened. Because it’s Chrissy. It’s always been Chrissy. Chrissy is the one.”

After Eddie concludes his rant, a long silence stretched on between him and Dustin. Just staring at each other. Not knowing what to say. Until Dustin finally opens his mouth.

“And you’re sure about that? 'Cause it sounds like a load of bullshit."

“Fuck, Henderson! I don’t fucking know! Does it look like I fucking know!? Do you think I’d be talking to you right now if I fucking knew!?”

“Well,” Dustin thinks, swiveling around in his desk chair “Why don’t we ask someone who does know?”

“Who?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Okay, just trust me, here…”

────────

"Okay, so, what I'll be doing first is something called a transvaginal ultrasound. Since you've estimated that the last time that you've had sex was about six or so weeks ago, this is a good indication that the fetus may be harder to find via external ultrasound, so I'll be using what we call the probe ultrasound method. I'll be taking an instrument, sort of like a wand, and inserting it inside of your vagina to see if I can get a good image of the fetus. Okay?"

"Okay." You nod, your legs still rested on the stirrups.

"Now, most patients choose to look away when we do with part as it could be hard to watch. The ultrasound screen will show an image of the fetus so if that's something that you'd rather not see, I will give you the heads up. Otherwise, I am ready to start whenever you are comfortable."

"It's okay," you breathe, your stomach feeling uneasy with all of this. Yet, you still choose to press on "I'm ready."

────────

Eddie stood in Dustin’s kitchen, leaning against the counter as he finished recounting everything that had transpired between you and him. By the time he finished talking, he was trying to steady his breathing- his face red and flushed. Even though he hadn’t been doing anything but talking, he looked as if he’d been through the wringer.

“Oh my. Well, you certainly are in a dilemma, aren’t you, Eddie?”

Mrs. Henderson’s soft voice wasn’t even enough to help soothe him. Eddie was still spiraling.

“What do I do?” He asks, seeking out some words of wisdom from his friend’s mom. Eddie hadn’t realized how much he needed female advice. He no longer had a mother of his own to go to for guidance and he couldn’t exactly come to you about this. He wasn’t close enough with Nancy. Robin would just make him feel stupid about overthinking everything and not expressing his feelings properly. He also didn’t want to reveal to her that you had hooked up. He could just forget about Max, El, and Erica. Guess that really did just leave Mrs. Henderson.

“Well, honey, have you thought about maybe just telling her how you feel? It sounds like you two go pretty far back.”

Yeah, Eddie thought. Middle school, 1979.

He still remembered the day that you two officially met. Stuck together like E6000 ever since.

“Yeah, we do.” Eddie sighs “Which is why this is so…complicated.”

“Eddie, can I tell you something? From a mama’s heart?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Eddie nods, swallowing nervously.

“It sounds like you really love this girl.” Mrs. Henderson smiles “And from the way that you describe her…well, you can just tell that you really adore her.”

That hit Eddie right in the heart. Because it was true. He did adore you. Very much so.

“I do.” Eddie agrees “I….she means a lot to me. Why is why this is so complicated.”

“Being in love is complicated.” Dustin teases, chowing down on a batch of cookies that his mother baked as Eddie poured his soul out to her for the past thirty to fourth-five minutes.

“Dusty Bun, leave him alone.” Claudia chastises “I think Eddie is going through enough.”

“Wouldn’t have to be if he just told her how he feels.” Dustin shrugs.

“And how do you know she feels like same?” Mrs. Henderson poses the question.

“Trust me, mom.” Dustin replies “You should see the two of them together. It’s fucking gross.”

“Hey!” Eddie narrows his eyes.

“What? It is!” Dustin scoffs “It’s like watching two lizards mate.”

“Dusty…” Claudia sighs.

“What? It’s true! Have you seen it? The male lizard will literally bite the female to mark his territory and prevent other male competition. Eddie’s only one second way from sinking his teeth into her neck to assert dominance or something.” Dustin points out. Eddie opens his mouth to argue but then closes it before shrugging.

I mean, that does sound pretty fucking hot, if he’s being honest. What Eddie would give to sink his teeth into you.

“Dusty, you’ll understand one day when you’re in love.” Claudia drops, catching Eddie’s attention.

Love.

“Mrs. Henderson,” Eddie interjects, clearing his throat “How did you know what you were in love?”

“Me?” Claudia asks, caught a bit off-guard by the question “Well, I haven’t been in love in quite some time but I guess I just…knew. Back with Dusty’s father, he was the only person I wanted to spend time with. People always say that their partner is their best friend but Dusty’s dad and I….we were thick as thieves. We would just look at each other and laugh about nothing. Or something completely stupid that would never make sense to other people. I felt completely myself with him. Like I could tell him everything. The man and I have so much dirt on each other from sharing secrets that it would make you blush. But in terms of falling in love, I just knew. Because I realized one day that I couldn’t live without him. Not that it means anything now considering…you know. But even though we aren’t together anymore, I’m glad I experienced it. It was beautiful while it lasted.”

Oh, Eddie thought, he was so fucking screwed.

“Thanks, Mrs. Henderson.” Eddie says, his mind going a million miles an hour.

“Eddie?” Claudia asks, looking at him with a serious expression on her face “Now, I know it’s totally up to you to make decisions on your own but, this Chrissy girl, I think she deserves for you to be honest with her too. Even if you aren’t where sure how you feel about your friend. I don’t think it’s fair to leave her in the middle of all of this.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Eddie nods “I…I don’t want to hurt her.”

“So, if you’re not sure about her, honey, then you need to at least be honest about that. It’ll hurt her feelings but, trust me, it’ll be better than stringing her along while you might be in love with someone else. It would just get messier for everyone.”

Oh, Chrissy. Eddie thought. You don’t fucking deserve this.

“I don’t want things to get messier. They’re already so completely fucked up, Mrs. H.” Eddie sighs “I just don’t know what to do next.”

“If you can’t talk to your lady friend, could you maybe just talk to Steve? Man to man?” Claudia suggests “Maybe you’d be able to find out exactly how he really feels about her. I think it would help ease your mind and put things to rest. Then you can decide whether or not you want to tell this girl how you feel. I think you and Steven could use a little heart-to-heart.”

“And have Eddie punch Steve in the face?” Dustin exclaims “Not really a great idea, mom!”

“Dusty Bun, don’t be ridiculous. Eddie would never do something like that. Would you, Eddie?”

Eddie stands there, trying to prevent a grin from spreading across his face.

“Of course not, Mrs. H.”

Dustin rolls his eyes.

“See, honey? They’re both mature young men that are capable of using words instead of fists to solve their problems.”

Well, I wouldn’t go that far, Claudia. Eddie thinks. But he chose to keep that to himself. If Mrs. Henderson wanted him to talk to Steve, then maybe Eddie should. If Eddie couldn’t get the answers he seeks from other people’s advice then he’d just intimidate it out of King Steve, himself.

────────

“You’re going to feel a little bit of pressure. Maybe some discomfort. If anything feels painful, just let me know.”

You try to breathe through the feeling of the probe instrument being inserted into you. God, this was so uncomfortable. It didn’t help that the doctor was shifting it around slightly to get a clearer image.

“Just a bit more movement, okay? Doing alright?”

You nod, trying to keep your mind on something else. The informational pamphlets in clear box displays on the wall, the cabinets of medical supplies, the silver rolling cart in front of you. Anything but the ultrasound monitor.

“There we go!” The doctor announces, stilling her movements of the probe wand. “There’s the fetus. Looks like you’re correct- around seven weeks developed. Definitely lines up with what you said. Everything is looking good so far. As long as you’re ready, we can start prepping for the procedure.”

You don’t know why but something within you had told you to turn your head. To look at the ultrasound on the screen that you’ve been trying so hard to avoid. You didn’t want to look at it. You didn’t want to witness with your eyes what the fetus on the screen looked like. That there was something there whether or not people believed it to be a baby or a fetus or just a clump of cells. But once you laid eyes on it, you couldn’t look away.

It was tiny. Barely even recognizable as you stared at the screen but you saw something. The beginning of a baby- your baby. Something within you clicked into place. Like your world had completely shifted- changing in an instant before snapping into something that you’ve never felt before. A sense of protectiveness. A feeling of fullness and completion like you’ve never felt before. It was a shift that was so small but you felt it like a great gravitational force had moved mountains around you. You breath hitched in your chest, your vision going blurry.

Then it became undeniable. There was a baby in there.

Your baby.

“So, what we’re going to do next is administer some medication to help us open up your cervix in preparation for the procedure. Then we will insert what is called a speculum into the vagina in order for us to see your cervix more clearly. Then, from there, the actual process of the procedure itself happens. But we will take things slow, okay? How are we feeling?”

“…I’m okay.” You lie, trying to be brave. But you knew that something within you had shifted and your mind was absolutely racing. Were you okay? Could you do this? Are you going to do this?

“Don’t worry.” The doctor assures you, sensing your hesitation “Everything is going to be alright. If you need to stop for any reason, that’s okay. You’re in good hands. I promise.”

────────

He held the handset of the phone to his ear, dialing your number again for what felt like the tenth time. It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Then went to voicemail. Again.

And for the tenth time, he waited to leave a message after the fucking beep.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s me. I….uh….I was just checking in on you….again. You know, making sure you’re okay. You said you’d call me…..and you didn’t. Which, you know, kinda makes you a liar. But, y’know, that’s cool. I still like you, I guess, or whatever. But, um…yeah. Call me back? So I know you’re okay? I don’t wanna have to break into your house to make sure you’re alive. Your neighbors already don’t like me so…yeah. If you don’t want to have to bail me out of the Hawkins Police Department, then you should pick up your phone. Call me back. I’ll be here. Waiting. Rotting as I await thy call, fair maiden. So, yeah. Bye.”

He slams the phone back onto the wall, wanting to slam his head into it as well. You were totally screening his calls. Icing him out completely. It was fucking cruel. He wanted to speak to you- needed to speak to you. He reaches again for the phone before the sound of his uncle’s voice cuts in from the living room.

“Put that phone down, son. Callin’ her ten thousand times ain’t gonna make her call ya back any faster.” Wayne chastises, having watched his nephew pick up the phone to call you all evening since he returned home.

“Now, what is it that you’ve done this time anyway?” Wayne asks “You scare off another one of her boyfriends again?”

“No.” Eddie pouts.

“Uh-huh.” Wayne replies skeptically “Well, ya clearly did something to get under her skin.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Eddie argues, groaning in exasperation.

“Hm. Well, whatever you say, son. All I know is that you’ve been moping around here like someone done kicked your dog. You don’t get like this unless that girl of yours has you out in the doghouse.”

That girl of yours. Wayne thought he was having another fight with Chrissy again.

“This isn’t about Chrissy.” Eddie replies, clarifying with Wayne that it was you who was mad at him. Not his girlfriend.

“Never said it was.” Wayne drops, giving Eddie a knowing look “All I know is that a particular young lady hasn’t been around here lately. Been weeks, in fact. Which leads me to believe that y’all must be on the outs.”

“We’re not- look, I don’t know why she’s mad at me. I d-“

Eddie is cut off by the phone ringing, causing his head to snap towards the wall before he dived for it, snatching it off of the hook as he puts the receiver to his ear.

“Munson’s!” He announces. Expecting to hear your sweet voice on the other end of the line. But it wasn’t. He immediately slams the phone back into the wall.

“Fucking telemarketers.” He grumbles, dragging himself into the living room before flinging himself onto the couch. Wayne stands by, watching his nephew as he wallows in his own misery.

“Get off my couch like that, boy. Doing all that moping over there ain’t gonna help ya either.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? She won’t talk to me! She’s been pretending for weeks that she barely knows me!”

“Damn. That bad, huh?” Wayne grunts “You must’ve really done it this time. I ain’t seen her mad at ya for this long since you chased that one boy she was dating all the way off school property that one year. Had to talk her way outta you getting triple detention. Damn boy never spoke to her again either. Poor girl.”

“Pretty sure I did her a favor. That dickhead wore sweaters from The fucking Gap and always acted like he was smarter than her.”

“Whatever ya say, boy.” Wayne replies “But whatever it is that you did had to have really ruffled her feathers if she’s stayed away from ya this long. As close as the two of ya are, and all. Think ya best get to apologizin’ if you wanna get back in her good graces.”

“And how do I do that?” Eddie asks, staring at his uncle obliviously.

“Well, you’re gonna need some real pretty flowers and tell her that you’re real sorry. Whether ya mean it or not or even know what you’re sorry for. Just at least be sincere about it and keep on apologizin’ until she forgives ya. That’s usually enough in most cases.”

“And what if that doesn’t work?” Eddie asks.

“Well,” Wayne starts, shrugging his shoulders “You might just have to start grovelin’

────────

You burst out into the waiting room, wearing the clothes that you arrived in- hurrying towards Steve who was indulging in an outdated copy of Better Homes and Gardens. He looks up from his magazine, smiling at you as you march towards him.

“Hey. That was fast. Where-“

But his words are cut off as you rush past him and out through the front entrance, leaving him in the waiting room. He stands as he watches you through the front windows of the clinic, hurrying out to the parking lot before he scrambles out to follow you.

He finds you bent over on the passenger side of his BMW, throwing up onto the pavement as you clutch your stomach.

“Shit,” Steve mutters, hurrying to your side as he wraps his arm around your shoulder- using his other hand to hold your hair out of your face as you vomit.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to get someone?” He asks, turning to peer back towards the Planned Parenthood building as you shake your head- trying to catch your breath.

“No.” You choke out “I’m okay. I’m fine.”

“What happened? Did you-“

“No.” You answer, still trying to calm your breathing “I- I couldn’t do it.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t-“

“No, Steve.” You reply “I just…I saw it. The baby. On the ultrasound. Then I panicked and….I just couldn’t do it, okay? Fuck-“

“Hey, hey, hey.” Steve whispers, reaching for you as you bury your face in his chest- sobbing into his shirt as he reaches up to stroke your hair. Just holding you there. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I fucked up.” You hiccup, your body wracking with sobs “I couldn’t do it! Why couldn’t I do it?”

“I…I don’t know, honey. I don’t know but it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. I’m right here.”

You grasp onto his shirt, grounding yourself to him as you gasp uncontrollably. He was here. Thank god he was here because you didn’t know if you could go through this alone.

“Hey,” Steve whispers, stroking your back as he continued to hold you “I’m gonna get you in the car, okay? Is that okay? Let’s get you back home.”

Steve detaches himself momentarily, opening the passenger side door as he goes to help you get inside. He gets you into your seat, reaching over to help put your seatbelt on.

“You okay?” He checks in again, looking at your tear-streaked face as you continued to cry.

“I’m okay.” You hiccup “Can we please just go home? I just wanna go home.”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear- his eyes softening on you.

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

────────

Eddie searched the aisles of Family Video, trying to find the perfect movie. Something that he knew you would love- as a peace offering.

Pretty in Pink? No, you’ve seen it already.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Hard pass.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas? Might give off the wrong message. However, he wasn’t opposed to checking that one out for himself. You know, on his own time.

Then his eyes land on For Keeps.

He picks it up from the shelf and stares as the cover. Starring Molly Ringwald and some guy named Randall Batinkoff. You loved Molly Ringwald. Maybe you’d like this? He can’t remember you mentioning ever seeing it. It was worth a shot.

After checking out the movie, he stopped over at a small florist shop- picking out a bouquet of white roses. Not red. Definitely not red. White- for a clean start. Which is clearly what he needed in order for the both of you to hopefully talk things out and get back to how it used to be.

Then there was the liquor store. A six pack of beer for him and a bottle of that sweet, girly wine that you liked. The fruity one. The catalyst for a lot of drunken nights where he’s had to carry you home and put you to bed but that necessarily wasn’t a bad thing in this case.

No, wait. Eddie thought. You can’t be thinking about that. It’s what got you into this situation in the first place.

As he gets back into his van, he begins to wonder if you had called him back yet. Even though he wasn’t home, he wish he knew. At least he’d know that you weren’t still completely mad at him.

Even though you seemed to be upset with him about something, he still missed you. A lot. More than a lot. It’s been weird not having you around. No one to joke around with, no one to lay next to him on his bedroom floor and listen to his Dio cassette tapes with. He missed movie nights with you- just the two of you. Eating your weight in pizza and drinking shitty beer.

He even missed when you would annoy him with all of the woes of your love life. Hell, he’d even take a whole rant session from you about some tool that you met at some sports bar as long as he got to sit next to you and just listen.

Even Wayne missed you. Eddie swears the old man had dropped at least five pounds in the last month or so now that you haven’t been around to hand deliver “leftover” cookies that you’d bake. Eddie knew that you’d bake them specifically for his uncle but he never said anything about it- even though Eddie would constantly get on him about eating better.

He missed your smile whenever he’d show up at your place. He missed the way you’d laugh at his stupid jokes. He missed the way you had always teased him about how you were Wayne’s favorite- despite Eddie being his own flesh and blood. He missed how he would always find lost personal items of yours laying around- hair scrunchies in the cupholders of his van, loose bobby pins on his bedroom floor, a tube of chapstick left behind in his jacket pocket whenever he’d lend it to you when you were cold.

But now his cupholders were empty, he was no longer being impaled in the foot by your unnecessarily sharp hair styling tools, and his pockets lacked the presence of cherry lip balm whenever he shoved his hands into the pockets. These past few weeks without you have been empty- and he couldn’t stand to continue on with a life that was completely devoid of you.

He needed you back. This was like a bad breakup where all he wanted to do was win you back. Hell, probably even worse than a breakup because he could at least find a new girlfriend. There was no one like you. You were irreplaceable. One of the few people to, not only, truly understand him but completely foster his weirdness and all of his little quirks. One of the only people besides Wayne and the Hellfire guys who embraced his rambunctious and exuberant nature. Without you, things just felt…incomplete.

He pulled up to your apartment, parking in the lot as he kills the van’s engine. At least there was no sign of King Steve. It would be just you and Eddie. Just how it should be. Watching a movie and getting stupid drunk on a weekday. Even when Eddie knew you had to work the next morning. Yet, you never turned him down because you always wanted to spend time with him. Because, as best friends, you always made time for each other. Since middle school.

He piles everything into his arms before kicking the driver’s side door closed. He hoped that you were home and not out on a date with Steve Harrington- potentially sucking each other’s faces off after declaring your love for each other. Then it hit Eddie. What would he do if you and Harrington did start to date? Would Eddie be able to handle that? Especially now that you both had somewhat of a sordid history with each other post-hookup?

It was no secret that Eddie had always hated your past boyfriends- he never chose to mince words about it either. Introducing him to “someone special” would always end up in disaster one way or another. However, Eddie didn’t think there was anything special about any of them. Well, besides the dehumanizing nicknames that he’d dub every single one of them who even dared to call you their girlfriend.

There was “Tool Box,” a guy that you had dated one year post-high school. He played football and had a full ride to Indiana State, however, he was not very nice to you and not anywhere near as sharp as he should be.

Then there was “Mr. College Degree,” an asshole you dated your senior year (Eddie’s third) of high school who constantly spoke down to you and acted as if he were far smarter than you because he read fucking Tolstoy and pretended to be deep and brooding. That one ended after Eddie threw him up against a locker and then chased him off school grounds after he critiqued your college admissions essay as “total shit.” In Eddie’s opinion, the pretentious dick got off easy with him after you chased after them both and begged him to stop.

“The Phantom” was the one Eddie hated the least because he was hardly ever around. The worst of Eddie’s problems were having to comfort you whenever you’d get upset with your deadbeat boyfriend not returning your calls. At least he never seemed to interfere with Eddie’s quality time with you.

After that was a string of short-lived flings that you had picked up here and there over the past few years. Never sticking around long enough to earn an Eddie Munson-style moniker. None of them mattered. Not to him and not really all that much to you after two weeks post-breakup. Most of the time, they were left out on the curb like yesterday’s trash before Eddie even had the chance to meet them. Not anything close to a loss, in his opinion.

But Steve Harrington? Eddie feared that he would be a whole other story.

────────

You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as you let yourself drown in your woes. You were seven weeks pregnant. With a baby. A baby that you had decided that you were keeping. No plan, no support, and no excuse to feed everyone around you on how it happened.

They would ask who the father was and you’d tell them what? That you didn’t know? That didn’t bode well for you or your reputation. Everyone would assume that you were promiscuous and it was the product of some one-night-stand with some random guy that you had met. Meanwhile, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The baby’s father was someone that you cared about and trusted. Someone that you loved. Completely. Even if he didn’t seem to love you the same way.

What would you tell Eddie? He would definitely ask questions once he put the pieces together that you were having a baby. Would he just assume right off the bat that it was his? Would you lie to him and tell him that it wasn’t? Assuming that it would be for the best that he didn’t know it was his? You didn’t know. What you did know was that you didn’t want your decision to keep the baby to be the end of Eddie’s life. Eddie deserved to be free and able to do whatever he wanted. The last thing you wanted was to tie him down with the responsibility of a baby.

If you did tell Eddie, what would he even say? Would he deny that it was his? Would he tell you that even if it was his, he wanted no part in yours or the baby’s life? Would he just stop talking to you? That, you decided, was the scariest part of all- losing your best friend. Choosing your baby but ending your friendship in the process.

A knock sounds at your apartment door, causing you sit up in bed. You weren’t expecting anybody- but maybe it was Steve dropping by again to check on you. Even though you insisted to him that you would be fine.

You get out of bed, walking into your living room to answer the door. You didn't bother to check the peephole- certain that it was probably just Steve like you had suspected but when you open the door you find none other than Eddie behind it. Arms full of stuff as he waits in the threshold.

"Oh!" You exclaim, taken aback by his presence.

"Hey." Eddie greets, nervously hovering in your doorway.

Well, that was a lukewarm welcome.

"Hey!" You reply, trying to force yourself to seem more cheery- happy to see him even though you felt a mix of emotions now that you were face-to-face with Eddie again- alone. You hadn't been alone with him since that night.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, taking in the presence of the brown paper bag that he carried in one arm and the bouquet of white roses that he was clutching with his opposite hand. Seeing the flowers brought you back like some kind of sick deja vu.

"Oh, you know," Eddie shrugs, trying to seem casual but felt like his emotions were boiling inside of him "Just thought I'd stop by. Seeing that I haven't heard from you in days. Pretty sure someone promised that they'd call."

"Shit, I'm sorry, Eds." You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose "I'm really sorry. I've been really-"

"Busy?" He asks, leaning against your doorway as he looks at you with a hard expression. You couldn't tell if he was mad at you or just giving you a difficult time like he's known to do. Eddie was normally so easy for you to read but right now he seemed like a code that you couldn't seem to crack.

"Yeah." You nod "I'm sorry. Really."

You both stare at each other for an awkward beat, not knowing what to say. It felt like it had been so long since the two of you had spoken to each other- really spoken. It almost seemed like you both had forgotten how to interact with each other altogether.

"Soooo....are you gonna let me in?"

"Sorry!" You shake your head, completely wrapped up in your own thoughts and the awkward tension surrounding you "Come in."

You step aside as you let him enter your apartment, following him into your living room as he walks towards the coffee table- setting down the brown paper bag. You heard the faint sound of glass bottles clinking against each other.

He kept the bouquet of white roses in his hand, turning back towards you.

"Um...these are for you." He extends out his hand, offering them out to you as you stood there uncomfortably. "I..uh..saw them while I was out and they...reminded me of you." It sounded more like a question than a statement. Like he didn't seem sure.

"Thank you." You reply, clearing your throat awkwardly as you take them from Eddie. "They're very pretty. Thanks."

Just like you, Eddie wanted to say but held it in. There was a lot that he wanted to say to you but chose to keep it to himself.

"I'm going to go put them in some water. Is that okay?" You ask.

"Yeah, 'Course." Eddie replies.

He watches as you walk towards your kitchen. Not knowing whether to follow you or stay put. What would he have done over a month ago?

He goes with his instincts and walks behind you, standing as he watches you open up your cupboards to find something suitable enough to use as a makeshift flower vase. At the very top shelf, you spot an old glass pitcher that you had forgotten that you had owned.

You place the roses on the top of your counter before turning to reach for the pitcher, finding that you were too short to grab ahold of it. You try again, standing on your tiptoes as you stretch out your arms- trying to grasp it but it was still outside of your reach. You suddenly felt self-conscious as you became hyper-aware that Eddie was watching you.

Weeks ago, he would've teased you for being too short to reach the top shelf- laughing as you flicked him off and tried even harder. He maybe even would've reveled in the hilarity of watching you pull up one of your kitchen chairs to climb on top of. He would've laughed even more, causing your forehead to wrinkle in frustration.

"Are you going to help me?" You would ask, rolling your eyes "Or are you just going to stand there?"

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I fully intend on helping. I just like watching you struggle first. It's kinda cute."

"Oh, how nice."

"Alright, short stuff. Move out of my way and let your very tall, and very charming knight get that for you."

"Wow." You'd scoff "My hero."

You didn't realize how much you'd miss interactions like this. Where Eddie was being his cute yet slightly annoying self and you just let him. Because it was Eddie. Because you loved that about him.

You are brought back into the moment when you feel the sudden presence of Eddie's body behind yours, not quite touching you but close enough that you could feel his body ghosting against yours- his chest almost brushing up against your back as he reaches above you. He easily grabs the glassware that you were straining yourself trying to reach. Bringing it down from the shelf as if it were nothing.

"Hey," You huff "I could've gotten that."

"I know, sweetheart." He replies, "It would've only taken you, like, ten years."

Your heart began to lift as you caught the sight of a teasing grin spreading across his face. There it was. The old Eddie. It had been so long since things between the two of you had seemed normal but right now, in this moment, you felt like there was still hope that the two of you could get back to that coveted place in your friendship. That the banter and chemistry between the two of you was still there. That all wasn't lost.

He hands the pitcher to you, watching as you turn towards the sink to fill it with water. As you work on giving your roses a new home, Eddie can't help but lock eyes on the familiar bouquet of wildflowers that he had seen you holding earlier that day as you left your apartment with Steve.

As Eddie stared at the tall drinking glass that you used to house the wildflower bouquet in, Eddie couldn't help but smirk. You had clearly given Eddie's flowers more thought than you had Steve's. That had to mean something right?

As you placed the pitcher of white roses on the kitchen table next to Steve's bouquet, Eddie couldn't help but notice how much prettier his flowers were. How they looked so pure and timeless and delicate just as you were.

Ha, Eddie thought. Suck on that, Harrington.

"Someone seems to be getting a lot of flowers these days." Eddie points out, eyeing Steve's floral offering as you watch.

"Huh." You shrug "Seems like it, I guess."

You seemed indifferent, Eddie thought. No smile or any sort of reaction when he brought up the other bouquet that was in plain sight in front of the two of you. It was a good sign that maybe there weren't romantic feelings tied to them. However, Eddie chose to delve a bit deeper.

"Where are those ones from?" He asks, pointing at the wildflowers as he tries to feign nonchalance "Got a secret admirer that I don't know about?"

"Huh? No." You reply almost too quickly.

"I don't believe you." Eddie pries, trying to mask his curiosity as friendly teasing "C'mon, tell me who they're from."

"No one." You answer.

Liar.

Why were you lying?

"I saw them in the florist section of the grocery store today. I thought they were pretty so I just...I brought them home."

It came out so easy. So smooth that Eddie probably would have believed you if he didn't already know the truth. That those flowers came from Steve Harrington and you were, for some reason, hiding the truth.

Why?

"Hm." Eddie hums, continuing to play it cool "Well, they're nice. I like mine better though."

Eddie leaves the kitchen, walking out to return to the living room where the liquor was surely getting warm.

"So, what brings you by?" You ask "Everything okay?"

And something about that set Eddie off. Maybe it was the way that you said it- how you made it seem like him dropping by like he used to was now a nuisance to you. As if his presence was no longer welcome in your home.

"Yeah." Eddie answers, his tone coming off slightly cold and biting "Everything's fine. I can't just stop by and see you anymore?"

"What? No." You reply, kind of taken aback by the slight bite of his answer "Of course you can. You're always welcome."

Am I though? Eddie wonders. Or has Harrington taken my place?

“Well, I brought drinks and a movie. Thought we could sit down and watch it. Y’know, like we used to.”

Eddie put a lot of emphasis on the words used to, making you feel a bit guilty but you also knew that he was just as responsible for your friendship crumbling as you were.

“Oh.” You reply, not knowing how to answer “I…uh…You know, Eds, I’m not really feeling to well. I was actually lying in bed before you came.”

Another lie. Eddie thought. Another excuse for you not to hang out with him- to avoid spending time with him.

“Are you still feeling sick?” Eddie asks, stepping towards you.

You took one step back. Immediately catching Eddie off guard.

Wow, He thought. You didn’t even want to stand near him anymore.

“Why’re you doing that?” He asks, a hurt expression on his face as he watches you put distance between the two of you.

“Doing what?” You ask, trying to feign obliviousness.

“Dodging me.” He points out.

“I…I’m not dodging you.” You lie “I just don’t want you coming too close to me. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Sweetheart, you’ve puked on my shoes before.” Eddie rolls his eyes “Pretty sure I’m going to be just fine. Now, c’mere.”

Eddie grabs for your waist. You watch as his big, ringed hands land on your hips as he pulls you closer to him. Your breath hitches as he drags you towards him to close the gap between you and you can smell the scent of his woodsy cologne. The hint of spearmint gum and cigarettes that he always carried. You were close enough to him that you could see the day old stubble on his chin. You haven’t been this close to him since that dreaded night.

Eddie removes one of his large hands from your waist, placing it on your forehead. Then flipping his hand over to feel with the other side.

“You don’t feel warm.” He points out.

“It’s a…uh…stomach thing.” You make up.

“Huh.” Eddie replies “Well, have you eaten anything today? I could get some takeout from Benny’s if you want? Some chicken soup?”

“N-no, I’m fine. I just think I need to rest.” You stammer, stepping back from Eddie in order to prevent yourself from melting under the hot, sexy stare of his big brown eyes.

“Okay.” Eddie nods “How about I put on the movie and we can snuggle up? Would that make you feel better? If you fall asleep, I’ll carry you to bed. Tuck you in real nice and all that.”

As Eddie tries to reach for you again, you take two steps backwards this time, finally losing your composure.

“No, Eddie!” You groan “I don’t want to fucking cuddle with you, okay?”

The words flew out of your mouth so fast that you immediately regret them, wishing that you could swallow them back down as soon as you saw the hurt look on Eddie’s face.

Great, you thought. Just fucking great.

“Cool.” Eddie nods “I fucking knew you were avoiding me. Good to know that I was right.”

“Eddie,” you plead “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“It’s fine.” He snaps “Seriously, just save it, okay?”

Eddie turns, walking towards your front door as he grabs his boots.

“Eds, wait!” You sigh “I didn’t mean it. I just…I’m going through a lot and-“

“And you don’t seem to care enough to come talk to me.” Eddie scoffs “We used to tell each other everything but now it seems like Harrington is your new go-to guy, right?”

“What?” You ask, taken aback “What does Steve have to do with this?”

“Oh, don’t give me that, sweetheart.” Eddie shakes his head “You think I haven’t noticed that as soon as things got weird between us, you ran straight to him? And he just welcomed you with arms wide open, right? ‘Course he did!”

“Eddie, what are you even saying?”

“You’ve replaced me.” Eddie admits, his voice dropping into something sad- deeply vulnerable. “Ever since that night, things haven’t been the same between us. You don’t answer my calls. You don’t hang out anymore. You don’t even seem like you wanna talk to me. But then I see you in the corner chatting it up with Harrington and I just….Fucking forget it.”

Eddie jams his feet into his beat up old combat boots as you grab at his arm, trying to prevent him from leaving.

“No.” You shake your head “Eddie, just wait a minute-“

“Do you regret that night?” He asks, staring into your eyes, giving you a glimpse of the neediness that was buried within them. The fragility that he had always held back and locked away from other people to see. The vulnerability.

“What?” You ask, your voice barely a whisper.

“Do you regret that night? That we had sex?” He asks again, laying it out even more for you “Because I don’t. I- fuck. It was the last time in a long while that I really, you know, felt something. Like I didn’t fucking hate my life for a second. Like I felt…wanted…y’know? Does that make any fucking sense?”

“Yeah.” You mutter “Yeah, it does.”

“I know you probably regret it but I don’t. Not even a little bit. The only thing I regret was letting it ruin our friendship. Ever since that night I’ve felt like…I’ve lost you. Sweetheart, I can’t fucking lose you.”

Hearing him say those words to you felt like you had just had the wind knocked out of you. It was completely unlike Eddie who has never said anything like that to you but you couldn’t help but hang onto those words. Because they were coming from him.

“Look, you know I’ve never been good with this whole talking-about-my-feelings shit. But that’s why I came over. I didn’t come over here to watch movies. I came because….fuck, this is hard.”

Everything in your body wanted to reach for him. Your body wanted to press itself against him- to reach out and grab his face in your hands and tell him that you didn’t regret a single second of that night. Besides not making him stay.

“What I’m trying to say is that you’re important to me. That hooking up with you made me realize that more than ever. So, I…you know, got jealous. Of Harrington. For thinking that you regret that night and that it ruined our friendship and now Harrington is my replacement.”

“Eddie…” you reply, softly “That’s not-“

“Is there something going on between you and Harrington?”

“What?” You ask “Me and Steve are friends. That’s all.”

“You’re sure?” Eddie presses, looking at you.

“Yes?” You answer “Why do you think that Steve and I are dating?”

“I just…I see something between you two. I know I sound crazy but it’s been all I can think about. That you’re, like, into each other or something.” Eddie admits.

“There’s nothing going on between me and Steve.” You clarify “Can I…ask you why it bothers you so much? Why you’re jealous?”

Fuck. Eddie thought. He didn’t expect you to ask that.

“I…I don’t fucking know. It just does. The thought of Steve or anyone else having feelings for you just…it fucking bothers me, okay?”

Shit. Here goes nothing.

“Because I have feelings for you too.”

There. He said it. He finally said it and now it was out in the open.

And you were just staring at him. Silent and unblinking. Definitely not the type of response that Eddie was expecting. Especially when you had admitted to him that night that you’ve had a crush on him since middle school.

“Oh.” You whisper, a feeling of dread overtaking you. Eddie just told you that he had feelings for you too. Telling you that night was more than just meaningless sex. You should be happy, right?

So, why did him telling you how he felt only make you feel sick to your stomach? This wasn’t good.

“Eddie-“

“Okay, so…that wasn’t exactly the reaction that I was expecting but, before you crush my ego, can you please just listen to what I have to say?”

He could feel it in his heart that this moment wouldn’t lead him to the results that he so desperately wanted- you telling him that you loved him too. That you wanted to be with him. But he had been running around Hawkins telling everyone how he felt about you- finally coming to terms with the fact that he was in love with you. No matter how badly he wanted to deny it. But he couldn’t deny it. He loved you. He wanted you to know that he loved you. But, most of all, he wanted you to love him back- and Eddie knew that it was going to hurt like hell if you didn’t.

“Sweetheart….I know this is going to be weird to hear but…fuck. I have feelings for you. No, more than that. I think I always have but I didn’t know that I liked you…like that. Then that night happened and we had sex and, fuck, I can’t get you off my mind. You’re all I think about. It’s like you have this fucking sick hold on me and I can’t fucking shake it. I think about you all the time and how that night was the fucking hottest, most fucking….wow thing that I’ve ever felt. I never thought I’d ever say this but I want to feel that again. I swear to god, I feel like a fucking crack addict or something but all I fucking think about is you. Fucking you, kissing you, holding you. Holding your stupid fucking hand. Wait, no, your hand isn’t stupid. That’s not what I meant. I just- fuck, see? This is what you do to me! It’s not fucking normal! But I want more. I want you. No one else but you. I don’t fucking know how it took me this long to fucking realize that but I feel fucking stupid not realizing it before because, Jesus H Christ, I think I fucking love you.”

There. Eddie thought. It was out there now. I can’t take it back.

“And, like, I know shit between us is complicated right now but I want to be with you. Like, for real be with you. I don’t know if you want to be my girlfriend..”

Or my future fucking wife. The love of my life.

“…Or if you, like, don’t want to put a label on things and just…be casual? But I just…I wanna be with you, sweetheart. I wanna give this a try and find out what this could be. Because I feel like it could, you know, possibly be the best thing to ever happen to me in my fucking life or whatever.”

Eddie was talking so fast that he felt like he was running out of breath. As soon as he let his feelings spill out, he couldn’t stop himself from talking. Everything that was on his heart began to come out as well. He poured it all out to you. He showed you the cards in his hand and was hoping for the best. So, when you remained silent, he began to worry- really worry.

“Uh…sweetheart? You gonna say something? ‘Cause you’re kinda freaking me out…”

“No, Eddie.” You sigh, wondering how things could have ever gotten this messy and complicated. “You’re in love with Chrissy- your girlfriend.”

“That’s what I thought.” Eddie admits “I thought Chrissy was…the one, you know. I’ve thought that for, I don’t know…years. But this whole time you’ve been right here. I don’t know how I was too stupid to realize it. Sweetheart, if you want to be with me like how I want to be with you then I’ll end it with Chrissy.”

“You would really do that?” You ask, looking at Eddie.

“Yeah.” Eddie replies “I would. If I get to be with you.”

You turn around, walking back to your living room as you slump down onto your couch- placing your head in your hands as you tried to process this. It felt like a great big joke.

“Sweetheart?” Eddie calls out, following you as he takes in your reaction “Can you talk to me about this? Like, you know, say something?”

“This is such a mess, Eds.” You reply, laughing bitterly to yourself. He didn’t even know the whole story on how messed up this was. You were in love with him, he was in love with Chrissy, you were pregnant with his baby, and now he was in love with you too? Everything felt so wrong.

“Don’t break up with Chrissy. Not to be with me.”

“What?” Eddie asks, believing that he had misheard you. But you continue on.

“Chrissy is a really nice girl, Eddie. She doesn’t deserve any of this….and this thing that happened between me and you….It’s not love. I know you think it is but it’s not. Which is why it’s not going to go anywhere.”

“What are you trying to say?” Eddie asks, his heart feeling as though it had dropped into the pit of his stomach.

“I’m sorry, Eds, but nothing is ever going to happen between us again. That night…it was a mistake and if you dump Chrissy to be with me, that would just be another one.”

Eddie felt like he was getting gut-punched over and over again. This couldn’t be real. You were joking, right? You had to be fucking with him.

“But…wait…I’m so fucking confused. That night you told me that you had feelings for me.” Eddie tries to reason, running his fingers through his hair. None of this made sense.

“I thought I did.” You lie “But I was wrong. I think we’re better off as friends.”

“Friends?” Eddie asks, looking at you as if you were insane.

Friends? He thought. You wanted to try and stay friends after this shit-show?

“Yeah. Like we were before.”

“….Sweetheart, if you think that I can just pour my fucking heart out to you and then go back to being friends after you fucking stomped all over it, you’ve just about lost your mind.”

You couldn’t believe what was coming out of Eddie’s mouth.

“Me? I stomped on your heart?” You scoff incredulously “I’m sorry, but the last time I checked, I wasn’t the one fooling around just to get back together with my girlfriend, Edward.”

He wrinkles his nose in disgust after you hurl his dreaded first name at him.

“Sure.” He exclaims “Go ahead and throw that shit in my face but, the last time I checked, you had no problem hopping on my dick as soon as you found out we broke up so don’t act like you care about that now.”

“Excuse me?” You guffaw, having trouble believing what your supposed ‘best friend’ has said about you. “Last time I checked, you were the one who kissed me. You started this shit, Eddie!”

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie argues “As if you didn’t fucking want it as much as I did.”

“You know what? Screw you, Eddie. Maybe you should get over yourself.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” He counters “You know what? Maybe you’re right. None of this shit should’ve happened.”

“Maybe us being friends shouldn’t happen.” You spit, the words full of anger and bitterness.

“Yeah? Maybe it fucking shouldn’t.” Eddie snaps.

“Maybe you should leave, Eddie.” You challenge, staring him down.

“Fine.” He snaps, snatching his Family Video rental off of the coffee table “Why don’t you give me a call when you finally get over yourself.”

“Don’t fucking count on it.” You snarl, watching as Eddie stomps his way to your front door- flinging it open before he storms out of your apartment. He slams the door hard enough to surely earn you a noise complaint in the morning. But you always ended up apologizing on Eddie’s behalf for something- why would this time be any different?

────────

8 Weeks

“Okay, yeah, that sounds like a mess.”

You sat across from Steve in a booth table at the back of Benny’s Diner, having just poured over the big fight that you had with Eddie almost a week before. You both haven’t spoken since. You knew that Eddie had called a few times and left messages on your voicemail but you were still too upset to listen to them. Still too angry to call him back.

“I don’t get it though.” Steve adds, looking at you skeptically “You like Eddie. Eddie is supposedly in love with you. So…why is this so complicated? Shouldn’t you guys just, you know, be together?”

“It’s more complicated than that, Steve.” You sigh “This isn’t a situation where Eddie and I can just be together.”

“…why not?” Steve presses.

“Because I don’t want to be someone’s second choice, Steve.” You counter “I deserve to be someone’s first choice. There are so many reasons why me and Eddie shouldn’t be together. First of all, there’s Chrissy.”

“Yeah but doesn’t he want to break up with Chrissy?”

“Steve, Eddie isn’t serious about breaking up with Chrissy.”

“Haven’t they broken up a few times before?” He questions.

“Yeah, and they always get back together.” You confirm “Which proves my point. He’s not in love with me. He just saw me as a rebound to get over Chrissy and now he thinks he’s ‘in love’. He’s not serious about me. He’s going to dump Chrissy and regret it. Then he’ll toss me aside once he decides he wants her back. It’ll always be Chrissy, Steve. Chrissy will always come first to him. If he wanted to be with me, he would have broken up with her already. He’s not going to leave her. Not really.”

“Okay, yeah.” Steve nods “I can see that, I guess. But all of this is going to get so much more complicated because of the baby. You know Eddie is probably going to want to try and make things work.”

“Steve, I’m not telling Eddie. I…I can’t. I’m not going to just ruin his life like that.”

“How do you know it’s going to ruin his life?” Steve asks.

“I just do, Steve. Eddie’s….not going to want to be a dad. He’s got the band and Hellfire. His whole thing working at The Hideout. Chrissy. He’s got the complete freedom to do whatever he wants. Why would he want that to change? A baby would ruin his life. The last thing I need is for him to resent me for that too.”

“Hey, listen.” Steve reaches across the table for your hand “I don’t think that Eddie could ever resent you. But I do think he would be really hurt if he ever found out that you kept this from him and didn’t give him the choice on whether he wants to be in his kid’s life or not.”

“Steve, I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not going to tell Eddie. That’s my final decision.”

“Okay.” Steve sighs “It’s your choice. So, what time is your appointment?”

Steve was referring to your first prenatal appointment. You had it set up to see an OBGYN that afternoon to speak with a doctor and find out what to do now that you decided that you’re keeping your baby. You’d even be able to get your first sonogram to show Steve afterwards.

“Three.” You smile, your hand resting excitedly on your tummy.

“I can’t believe I’m going to miss it.” Steve says “You sure you don’t want me to come? I can cancel practice today. The kids would probably be happy about it. They can go home and binge-watch Thundercats instead of having me make them run drills.”

You laugh, rolling your eyes at Steve. You knew how much he wanted to be there for your first real appointment but you didn’t want him to miss out on work and his own priorities to make room for yours.

“I’m sure.” You assure him “It’s gonna be boring for you anyway. Just a bunch of talking about fetal development and the importance of prenatal vitamins.”

“You do realize that I’m a Sex-Ed teacher, right?” Steve laughs “That’s literally part of my job.”

“Yeah but I still don’t want you to have to drop everything for me. Besides, I’ll stop by as soon as you’re home from practice and tell you all about it.” You promise.

“You better.” Steve points at you “I’ll probably be too excited the rest of the day to see pictures of that little nugget you have growing in there.”

“Little nugget?” You laugh, causing Steve to smile.

“Yeah. That’s what he is. Uncle Steve’s little nugget.”

“He?” He ask “What makes you think it’s a boy?”

“I don’t know.” Steve shrugs “It would be cool though. Can teach him how to throw a baseball when he’s old enough. Give him wise advice about the ladies.”

“The ladies?” You guffaw “Steve, I’ve barely even growing them and you’re already thinking about my child’s love-life?”

“Hey, better than what would happen if it ends up being a girl. Instead of teaching them how to twirl a bat, I’d be chasing after boys with one.”

You laugh some more, both hands flying to your stomach as you tilt your head back. Steve can’t help but smile even wider. He hasn’t seen you this happy in weeks. Maybe this baby was a good thing- a real good thing.

Steve looks down as his watch before letting out a drawn out groan.

“My lunch break’s almost over. I’ve gotta get back. My most recent pop quiz isn’t going to grade themselves. Fuck, do I wish they would sometimes.” He rolls his eyes.

“No worries.” You reply, standing up from the both as you both prepare to leave “I’ve gotta get home and shower before the appointment anyway.”

“I’ll see you later, though?” Steve asks “I’m serious, I want to see photos.”

“Alright, alright.” You laugh “I promise. I’ll be over as soon as you’re home.”

“Alright. Good.” Steve says, pulling you in for a hug goodbye “Be careful getting home, alright? You and little nugget.”

“We will. See you soon, Uncle Steve.”

────────

You unlock your apartment door and walk in just as your phone was on the last couple of rings. You didn’t have to pick it up and answer it to know who it was. He had been calling for days. You were surprised that your voicemail wasn’t full from how many messages he had left but you didn’t want to listen to them either. You avoided hearing his voice entirely- until the machine picked it up as you walked through your living room.

“Hey, sweetheart….”

You weren’t prepared to hear his voice again. You knew that if you heard his voice and how needy it sounded, you would fold and call him back. You didn’t want to do that. In the past, it was mostly you who always caved first during an argument or disagreement and called Eddie to apologize. This wasn’t going to be one of those times.

“I’m…look, I’m fucking sorry, okay? You have every right to be mad. I shouldn’t have said that shit to you. Like it was all your fault for what happened. It’s not. I…you know I don’t fucking think sometimes. Well…most of the time. I was just being an asshole and you didn’t deserve that. Maybe you can call me back? So we can, like, talk about it and stuff? I miss you. A lot. Pretty sure Wayne is ready to choke me if I say one more thing about you. Which is fine. I don’t blame him. But I’d also like to not die a slow death by asphyxiation before I sort this shit out with you. Please call me back. I’ll be home. All day. Waiting. So…yeah. Bye.”

The message ends with a beep and then stops.

You hover near the answering machine. Staring down at the blinking red light. Instead or replaying the message, listening to any of the other several dozens that he had left, or simply just calling him back- you decided against all of it. Because none of it would make a difference. Apologizing to each other for the stupid and hurtful shit that you had said the other day wouldn't make everything right. The damage was done. So, you thought, might as well just erase the past and pretend it didn't happen. Just like the messages on your voicemail- clearing them out until the red dot disappeared and there was nothing for you to listen to.

────────

Eddie sat in his van in the Hawkins High School parking lot, waiting for Chrissy Cunningham to emerge from coaching cheer squad- something she had volunteered to do since she had graduated what felt like ages ago. It was hard to get ahold of her when she coached practice, but Eddie needed to speak to her, like, now. So, he did the first thing that popped into his head; he called the Hawkins High front desk and begged to be put through to the gym department until the very pissed off receptionist finally relented.

His stomach was in knots as he spotted Chrissy emerge from the entrance near the gymnasium, using a baby pink windbreaker jacket to shield her from the downpour of rain. Before things happened with you, Eddie would've thought that the sight was cute- endearing even. Now he just felt sad- making sweet Chrissy Cunningham go out into the rain in the middle of her cheer practice just so that he could let her into his van and break her heart for the last time. He felt like a fucking dick.

Ever since the fight he had with you, he had been taking a lot of things into consideration. Mrs. Henderson's words replayed in his head a lot during that that time- what she had said about stringing Chrissy along through all of this. He knew it was wrong- so wrong- and Eddie knew that it was finally time for him to stop. Chrissy didn't deserve any of this. She didn't deserve to be stuck in the middle and a casualty of his complicated feelings and confusion.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Chrissy asks after she swings open the passenger door and hops into the cab of the van. "You never call the school looking for me. What's wrong?"

Chrissy turns to him, her stomach dropping when she sees the cold, serious look on Eddie's face. In all of the years that she's known him, she has never seen Eddie look so sullen.

"Eddie?"

"I'm sorry, Chrissy. I'm so fucking sorry..."

"What?" Chrissy asks, her heart racing as she stares at Eddie in the driver's seat next to her.

"Eddie, what's going on?"

"Chrissy..." Eddie sighs, putting his head in his hands "....I think we need to break up."

────────

Steve pops the trunk of his BMW, grabbing out his various duffle bags of basketball equipment. He knew the kids were going to hate him today for forcing them to run drills but the state championship game was just around the corner and they couldn’t be led to victory when they weren’t in their best possible shape.

He lugs netted bags full of Spalding basketballs to his gymnasium office in Hawkins Middle School, ready to sit down at his desk and attempt to grade at least a quarter of the thick stacks of assignments he had piling up. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his mind off of you and how your appointment was going.

Steve was ecstatic to hear all about the discoveries you would find out about his new niece or nephew. Steve was so excited that he had even stopped by Walden Books in Starcourt Mall before practice to pick up a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting- hoping that it would shed some light on how he could help make your pregnancy journey as easy as possible.

He had the book tucked under his arm as he dropped his practice equipment in front of the doorway to his office, reaching for the knob to let himself in. He pushes open the door, expected to be greeted with the emptiness of the dusty, old office but when he switched on the lights he was met with the presence of none other than Eddie Munson sitting in his chair, feet propped up on his desk- waiting.

“Jesus fucking Christ, man!” Steve shouts, startled by Eddie as he just sat there- waiting for him.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Steve exclaims, clutching his chest as if he were about to have a heart attack. The book Steve was carrying clatters to the floor- face up. Eddie looks down at it, staring at the cover. He looks between the book and Steve’s guilty face, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Not excited to see me, Harrington?” Eddie finally speaks, his eyes landing on Steve.

“Not when you’re sitting in my office waiting for me in the dark like a serial killer! Jesus, man!”

Steve bends down to pick up the book, flipping the cover over to rest against his side- hoping that Eddie hadn’t noticed the title.

“Everything good?” Steve asks slowly, looking at Eddie who just stared back at him.

“Fine.” Eddie shrugs nonchalantly “Are you good?”

“I mean, I’m currently trying to get my heart-rate back down to normal but yeah. I’m fine.” Steve replies.

“Hm.” Eddie hums, nodding “Doing some light reading there?” Eddie nods towards the book Steve was holding at his side “Not really the genre I’d suspected you be into. But, to level with you, Harrington, I didn’t suspect you to be much of a reader in general so…”

Ha. Steve thought. Funny.

“It’s not for me.” Steve states, placing the book down onto his desk.

“Who’s it for then?” Eddie raises his eyebrows questioningly.

Fuck. Steve thought. Shit.

“No one.” Steve replied quickly. He’d have to think fast “It’s…uh…it’s for my Sex-Ed class. Assigned reading.”

Good save.

“No better way to prevent teen pregnancy than the horrors of child-bearing.” Steve continues “Gotta teach ‘em young.”

“Is that right?” Eddie replies, eyeing Steve suspiciously.

“….Yeah….so, is there something you need, Munson? ‘Cause you could’ve just called.” Steve starts but is cut off by Eddie saying your name. Steve’s heart drops, knowing exactly where this might be going.

“Have you, y’know, seen her around lately?” Eddie asks.

“No,” Steve lies, hoping that he was coming off sincere even though he wasn’t. Not even a little bit. “Why? Is everything okay?”

“Sure.” Eddie shrugs “If you don’t consider her ignoring me or whatever.”

“Oh, really?” Steve replies “I didn’t realize you guys weren’t talking.”

Bullshit, Harrington. Cut the fucking shit.

“Yeah, she’s kinda pissed at me right now. Really pissed. I thought maybe you might have seen her.”

Eddie knew something, Steve thought. But how much did he know? What exactly did he know?

“What makes you think that?” Steve says, trying to play it cool. He hoped he wasn’t failing miserably.

“Well, y’know, I assume you’ve been giving her rides or something. Thought maybe you two have talked. You both seem, I don’t know, pretty close lately.” Eddie drops. He knew. Steve didn’t know what it was that he knew but he knew something.

“Oh.” Steve stammers “I wouldn’t say that we’re…close. Or whatever.”

“You guys seemed pretty close during movie night. You drove her home and all that. She didn’t say anything to you about me?” Eddie presses.

“Nah, man.” Steve shakes his head “We haven’t…no.”

Eddie could sense Steve’s nervousness, sniffing it out like a bloodhound. What a lying prick.

“So, you’re saying that you guys didn’t talk about anything when you drove her home?”

“I didn’t say that.” Steve corrected “We just didn’t talk about…you.”

“What did you talk about?” Eddie interrogates, putting Steve even more on-the-spot.

“I-I don’t know, man.” Steve stutters “This was almost two weeks ago. I don’t remember what we talked about.”

“But it wasn’t about me?” Eddie quirks an eyebrow.

“No.” Steve lies “We talked about stuff but not about you.”

“What stuff?”

“Fuck, I don’t remember!” Steve exclaims “Why do you need to know?”

“Y’know, she mentioned having a lot going on. She didn’t want to talk to me about it. But she was talking to you all night that night. Did she tell you what was going on?” Eddie takes his feet off of Steve’s desk, rising from his chair.

“Eddie, even if I did remember, I wouldn’t tell you. That’s..you know…personal stuff. If she wanted to tell you then she would’ve.” Steve argues.

“Would she, Harrington?” Eddie asks, looking at him long and hard.

“I don’t fucking know.” Steve replies, incredulously “Okay, Munson, what exactly do you want? This is getting weird now.”

“Alright, Harrington, unlike you I’ll cut the shit. Are you dating her?” Eddie dropped it so suddenly that Steve didn’t know how to react- having a hard time keeping his face neutral to prevent giving away the fact that he did know what was going on with you.

“What?” Steve shakes his head “No. There’s nothing going on between us.”

“You’re sure?” Eddie smirks, looking at Steve even harder- his expression a bit menacing.

“Yeah, man….pretty fucking sure.” Steve replies.

“Interesting.” Eddie nods, stroking his chin as he walks slowly towards the door of Steve’s office- hovering there “Well, I guess I must be paranoid then. Silly me. Well, I’ll see ya around, Harrington. Have fun teaching your cult of future conformists to throw balls into laundry baskets or whatever the hell you do.”

Before Steve could come up with a rebuttal, Eddie was already out of his office- stalking through the gymnasium as he pushes through the metal doors before they heavily shut behind him.

What the fuck was that all about?

────────

Hours later, Eddie parked his van two blocks down, not wanting to tip off you or Steve if you were there. Which, he was hoping to god you weren’t. He didn’t know why he was stalking the outside of Steve’s house- waiting to catch a glimpse of you and hopefully find out the truth. Eddie didn’t know if he was even ready to know the truth. What if you were dating Steve? What would Eddie even do about it?

He walks up Steve’s driveway, hands in his pockets as he thinks about what he’s going to do. What he’s going to say. He was mostly hoping that you wouldn’t be in there. That he was just paranoid and that you were at home and continuing to not answer your phone. But all of his hopes were dashed when he catches sight of you through Steve’s living room window.

Fuck.

There you were. In any other circumstance, he would be happy to see you, but not like this. Not alone with Steve Harrington in his house. Having shown up there for god knows what.

It didn’t take long for Steve to show up next to you, something in his hand. Something that looked like a black and white photograph. Steve was smiling, staring down at the photo before looking back up at you. A glint of something in his eyes- hope, love, lust? Eddie didn’t know but he didn’t fucking like it.

You smile back, looking like you were about to cry. Eddie was itching to know what was going on. What was coming out of yours and Steve’s mouths as you spoke to each other. You move towards Steve who hold his arms out to you, enveloping you in a tight embrace as you rested your face against his chest. Eddie’s heart felt like it had dropped into the pit of his stomach. You used to hug him like that. What the actual fuck?

It wasn’t until Steve craned his neck to plant a kiss to the top of your head that Eddie finally fucking lost it. It happened fast- he was seeing red and there was no fucking stopping him. Something within him had switched. Something bad.

Eddie breaks out into a sprint, hurrying to the door before pounding on it with his fist like he was Hawkins PD- and once he started, he couldn’t fucking stop. He kept going, and going, and going until the door finally swung open- revealing Steve who looked startled and confused.

“Eddie?” He calls, his voice surprised and confused “Hey, man, what-“

But Eddie didn’t have time for the bullshit. He was angry, vexed- fucking boiling over to the point of combustion. He barges his way into Steve’s house.

“Eddie, what the fuck?” Steve exclaims, watching as Eddie begins to search his house like a mad man.

“Where is she?” Eddie yells, throwing open doors to peer into each room.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Harrington. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know she’s here. I saw her. Where is she?”

“Eddie, man, just calm down.”

Eddie whips around, lunging towards Steve as he grabs ahold of his shirt- pinning him against a wall.

“How long?” Eddie growls, fire in his eyes as he holds Steve against the wall “You’ve been sneaking around behind everyone’s backs. How long has it been going on, huh?”

“Munson, what?- what the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t play fucking dumb, Harrington. I’ll fuck up that pretty little face of yours if you don’t start telling the truth.”

“Eddie, I already told you! Nothing is going on between us!”

Steve immediately flinches as Eddie pulls back his fist, ready to punch him.

“Eddie! What the fuck are you doing!?”

Eddie feels someone grab onto his arm, causing him to stumble backwards- sending you tumbling onto the floor.

Steve calls out your name, pushing himself off of the wall as he dives down towards you. Eddie grabs him by the neck of his shirt, throwing him down onto the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch her, Harrington.”

But Steve doesn’t listen, scrambling onto his hands and knees to get to you. Before he could even place a hand on you, Eddie’s ring-clad hands rip him away- throwing him down hard enough to know the wind out of him. Eddie mounts him, grabbing the collar of his shirt as he prepares to sock the daylights out of him.

“Eddie, no!” You shout, jumping onto Eddie’s back to yank him off of Steve “Knock it off right now! Stop it!”

But Eddie keeps struggling against you, trying to get his hands back onto Steve so that he could beat him into next week for even touching you.

“Eddie! Stop it! Stop it right now!” You plead.

You use all of your strength to tackle Eddie onto his back, hurrying to straddle him- grabbing his wrists to pin them above his head so that he couldn’t move. You weren’t nearly strong enough to hold him down completely but it was enough to stop him momentarily. Eddie thrashes against you, breathing hard as he tried to free himself.

“You better fucking run, Harrington!” He yells “As soon as I get her off of me, your ass is grass! You hear me!?”

“Eddie, stop!” You plead “Steve didn’t do anything! Please stop!”

“He fucking touched you! I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him! I swear to fucking god!”

“What?” You ask, your eyes widening “Eddie, what are you talking about? Steve didn’t do anything to me!”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie spits back “Wanna explain what I just saw through the window? How you two have been fucking each other behind my back? Hm? How long? How long has it been going on!?”

“What?!” You exclaim “Steve and I aren’t hooking up! Eddie, what-“

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Eddie presses “Because you found someone else? S’that why?”

“Eddie, calm down and I’ll explain. It’s not what you think. I’ll tell you everything but you need to calm down. Okay?”

Eddie just stares at you, anger in his eyes as he breathes heavily underneath you.

“Okay?” You press.

“Okay.” Eddie finally mutters.

“You promise?” You ask, looking down at him with worry.

“Yeah, alright, I fuckin’ promise. Will you let me go now?”

You hesitate for a moment before slowly removing yourself from Eddie’s body, rising off of the floor. Steve immediately hurries toward you, grabbing your waist as he pulls you close.

“You okay!?” He panics “Is the-“

“Yeah.” You nod, cutting him off “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Your hand instinctively flies to your stomach, splaying your hand across it protectively. Steve’s hand lands on top of yours, panic still on his face as Eddie picks himself up off of the ground. As soon as Eddie’s eyes land upon where yours and Steve’s hands meet, he becomes angry all over again.

“What the fuck is going on?!”

“Eddie,” Steve replies slowly, treading lightly with his friend who surely had the strength to kill him if he wanted to “You might want to sit down for this.”

“I’m gonna give you one more chance, Harrington. What….the fuck….is going on?”

“Fuck,” Steve breathes, turning toward you “We should just tell him. We can’t hide it for much longer, anyway.”

“Hide what, Harrington? I swear to fucking-“

“I’m pregnant.” You blurt out.

Eddie freezes, his blood running cold as soon as your words land upon his ears.

Pregnant. You were pregnant.

The next thing you knew, Eddie had cocked his fist back- immediately punching Steve hard enough to cause him to sway backwards.

“Jesus Christ!” Steve yells, clutching his nose that immediately began to gush blood.

“Eddie!” You gasp in horror, turning towards Steve who was groaning in agony beside you.

“YOU GODDAMN LYING SON OF BITCH!” Eddie screams, lunging towards Steve as you intercept- pushing at Eddie’s chest to back him away from Steve who was bellowing out a string of obscenities.

“Eddie stop! It’s yours!” You plead, trying to hold him off “It’s your baby!”

Eddie stop dead, hands going limp at his sides.

“…What?” He asks, eyes wide as he stares at you, searching your face for signs of deception. That this was all a cruel joke. There weren’t any.

“I’m pregnant.” You repeat “It’s yours, Eddie.”

Eddie felt like the earth had just tilted on its axis. Like he was on that shitty Tilt-a-Whirl at the Hawkins County Fair but the ride wasn’t stopping. No matter how badly he wanted to get off.

“Eddie?” You ask cautiously, eyeing him as he absent-mindedly stumbled his way over to Steve’s sofa- sinking down into it.

You were pregnant. With his baby.

Holy…fucking…shit.

────────

To be Continued in Part III

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