I'm just Murphy @mundanemurphy - Tumblr Blog

gavamont

There once was a wizard of garlic

Who was true to her drives and her target

Both to make tasty bread

And make vampires dead

Endeavors diverse, but goals both heroic

gavamont-clone-1

Absolutely elevates a spinach and artichoke dip, too

gavamont

I too enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip much more when I know I’m safe from vampires.

mundanemurphy

Wait. Are these dips you keep leaving in the fridge all defensive in nature?

gavamont

They keep me safe from hunger. I’m just saying I eat more comfortably when I know vampires aren’t going to sneak up and bite me.

mundanemurphy

So the one with a pentagram made of paprika is just some kind of normal shrimp dip?

gavamont

No! Don’t touch that one!

I’m saving it for a theme party on Friday.

mundanemurphy

Huh?

gavamont

Well now the witch’s coven is gonna be pissed I don’t have a dip to bring to the potluck. Especially since that one was for gluten free option and had a libido enhancing potion.

gavamont-clone-1

Oooh! Let me get in on that one

mundanemurphy

Oh, I used a wheat chip, so it's contaminated. Sorry

gavamont

😔 just can’t have nice thing around here 😔

mundanemurphy

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gavamont

There once was a wizard of garlic

Who was true to her drives and her target

Both to make tasty bread

And make vampires dead

Endeavors diverse, but goals both heroic

gavamont-clone-1

Absolutely elevates a spinach and artichoke dip, too

gavamont

I too enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip much more when I know I’m safe from vampires.

mundanemurphy

Wait. Are these dips you keep leaving in the fridge all defensive in nature?

gavamont

They keep me safe from hunger. I’m just saying I eat more comfortably when I know vampires aren’t going to sneak up and bite me.

mundanemurphy

So the one with a pentagram made of paprika is just some kind of normal shrimp dip?

gavamont

No! Don’t touch that one!

I’m saving it for a theme party on Friday.

mundanemurphy

Huh?

gavamont

Well now the witch’s coven is gonna be pissed I don’t have a dip to bring to the potluck. Especially since that one was for gluten free option and had a libido enhancing potion.

gavamont-clone-1

Oooh! Let me get in on that one

mundanemurphy

Oh, I used a wheat chip, so it's contaminated. Sorry

gavamont

There once was a wizard of garlic

Who was true to her drives and her target

Both to make tasty bread

And make vampires dead

Endeavors diverse, but goals both heroic

gavamont-clone-1

Absolutely elevates a spinach and artichoke dip, too

gavamont

I too enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip much more when I know I’m safe from vampires.

mundanemurphy

Wait. Are these dips you keep leaving in the fridge all defensive in nature?

gavamont

They keep me safe from hunger. I’m just saying I eat more comfortably when I know vampires aren’t going to sneak up and bite me.

mundanemurphy

So the one with a pentagram made of paprika is just some kind of normal shrimp dip?

gavamont

No! Don’t touch that one!

I’m saving it for a theme party on Friday.

mundanemurphy

Huh?

gavamont

There once was a wizard of garlic

Who was true to her drives and her target

Both to make tasty bread

And make vampires dead

Endeavors diverse, but goals both heroic

gavamont-clone-1

Absolutely elevates a spinach and artichoke dip, too

gavamont

I too enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip much more when I know I’m safe from vampires.

mundanemurphy

Wait. Are these dips you keep leaving in the fridge all defensive in nature?

gavamont

They keep me safe from hunger. I’m just saying I eat more comfortably when I know vampires aren’t going to sneak up and bite me.

mundanemurphy

So the one with a pentagram made of paprika is just some kind of normal shrimp dip?

gavamont

There once was a wizard of garlic

Who was true to her drives and her target

Both to make tasty bread

And make vampires dead

Endeavors diverse, but goals both heroic

gavamont-clone-1

Absolutely elevates a spinach and artichoke dip, too

gavamont

I too enjoy my spinach and artichoke dip much more when I know I’m safe from vampires.

mundanemurphy

Wait. Are these dips you keep leaving in the fridge all defensive in nature?

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

gavamont

A wizard that uses an enlarged strand of DNA as his magic staff. He can just point that thing at you and it starts altering your genetic code.

It was terrifying! He made me lactose intolerant mid battle. Which is unfortunate because I had yogurt for breakfast and cottage cheese for lunch.

gavamont-clone-1

Why do you need to fight so much! I gave him a beer and he cast Greater Freckles on me. I look as cute as a button and I have a drinking buddy for life.

gavamont

Fights just happen when you’re a wizard. A learned mage will develop opinions and when those come in conflict with the opinions of other wizards, an altercation may occur.

I just feel that he was misinformed when he said the look of peas is the result of the parentage of the plant, whereas I know peas look the way they do based on their personal work ethic and moral character of the pea plant.

mundanemurphy

Oh. Oh Gav.

Oh no.

gavamont

Peas are green guys, and I’m Gavamont the Green. I am the de facto authority on this.

mundanemurphy

Please. Read a book.

gavamont

A wizard that uses an enlarged strand of DNA as his magic staff. He can just point that thing at you and it starts altering your genetic code.

It was terrifying! He made me lactose intolerant mid battle. Which is unfortunate because I had yogurt for breakfast and cottage cheese for lunch.

gavamont-clone-1

Why do you need to fight so much! I gave him a beer and he cast Greater Freckles on me. I look as cute as a button and I have a drinking buddy for life.

gavamont

Fights just happen when you’re a wizard. A learned mage will develop opinions and when those come in conflict with the opinions of other wizards, an altercation may occur.

I just feel that he was misinformed when he said the look of peas is the result of the parentage of the plant, whereas I know peas look the way they do based on their personal work ethic and moral character of the pea plant.

mundanemurphy

Oh. Oh Gav.

Oh no.

gavamont

I made a new kind of dungeon I’m calling The Front Rooms.

It’s a reception area where there’s a really attractive punk rock girl working the desk and she has headphones on. Every time you build up the courage to talk to her and ask for directions or to buzz you in to advance in the dungeon she doesn’t hear you and sometimes she’ll take off her headphones, but only when you’re too quiet and shy and she says she can’t hear you. She then goes back to illustrating some kind of highly bisexual punk comic zine.

It’s driven several Midwest emo adventurers to madness. I’ve looted a lot of lighters and wired headphones from them.

mundanemurphy

Ummm....

Is she....

Is she real or illusory?

And if she's real, could you put in a word for me?...

Aw who am I kidding.....

gavamont

It’s so hard to say! But you can’t be a creeper and try to touch her or something. It’s my most devious puzzle yet!

mundanemurphy

I leave the dungeon through the same door I used to enter and weep on the curb outside with my head in my hands

gavamont

I made a new kind of dungeon I’m calling The Front Rooms.

It’s a reception area where there’s a really attractive punk rock girl working the desk and she has headphones on. Every time you build up the courage to talk to her and ask for directions or to buzz you in to advance in the dungeon she doesn’t hear you and sometimes she’ll take off her headphones, but only when you’re too quiet and shy and she says she can’t hear you. She then goes back to illustrating some kind of highly bisexual punk comic zine.

It’s driven several Midwest emo adventurers to madness. I’ve looted a lot of lighters and wired headphones from them.

mundanemurphy

Ummm....

Is she....

Is she real or illusory?

And if she's real, could you put in a word for me?...

Aw who am I kidding.....

Knock knock

Who's there?

Ivan

Ivan who?

Ivan’t to inform you that I’ve been turned and am now a vampire.

mundanemurphy

As long as you keep to the agreement that night time is private bedroom time, I think that's fine

gavamont

But surely you vould love to join me on a midnight stroll. I have a very promising offer for you to join a fast growing netvork of powerful individuals.

mundanemurphy

I hear @mundanewarren LOVES to go for late night walks.

mundanewarren

Ah crap. This is like the second time I’ve been Renfield’ed, and both times are by wizards. You’d think I’d learn.

ratazom

If you learned, you wouldn't be the same guy I agreed to share a mundane dimension home with

gavamont

You know you’re right. I von’t torment my roommate with vampirism. Mine is to cherish, yours is to torture.

mundanemurphy

An early Canada Day miracle

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Knock knock

Who's there?

Ivan

Ivan who?

Ivan’t to inform you that I’ve been turned and am now a vampire.

mundanemurphy

As long as you keep to the agreement that night time is private bedroom time, I think that's fine

gavamont

But surely you vould love to join me on a midnight stroll. I have a very promising offer for you to join a fast growing netvork of powerful individuals.

mundanemurphy

I hear @mundanewarren LOVES to go for late night walks.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Ivan

Ivan who?

Ivan’t to inform you that I’ve been turned and am now a vampire.

mundanemurphy

As long as you keep to the agreement that night time is private bedroom time, I think that's fine

Knock knock

Who's there?

Ivan

Ivan who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

The wizard rangers said that a breed of land wyrm I used to hunt for fake dragon hide is becoming a protected species. Gonna have to find a new way to scam foolish adventurers.

gavamont-clone-1

Party foul...

gavamont

Overhunting could happen on anyone’s watch, but I stopped once the ranger informed me. Hell, I plan on planting some magic traps in case any greed driven wizards dare to interfere with these majestic beasts.

gavamont-clone-1

Sorry, typo. The Party Fowl has scales on its tail that make for a very fine dragon skin substitute

gavamont

Ooh, those I could raise in my backyard, though a few will be eaten by the land wyrm. Winning all around!

gavamont-clone-1

When fed on a cocaine/corn mix, party fowl can reproduce at a truly astounding rate!

gavamont

Too much cocaine!

gavamont-clone-1

QUICKLY! SKIN THEM MY LIEGE!!!

gavamont

Gghfggnvggghvhgggg hhhhh touch h h gch

gavamont

That was the birds. I had to feed them all to wyrm to get free. Further research needed.

mundanemurphy

We love a... conservation success story?

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

gavamont

Guys, I think if I can kill or seal away 4 more musical wizards, I could end up being the headliner for the Shadow Wizard Money Gang charity concert to benefit knights with shitty vassal lords.

mundanemurphy

Can I ask why you edit most of these tracks on my side of the portal?

gavamont

They say a stitch in time saves 9, but every time I travel back in time I kill way more than 9 innocents with my unintended interaction with the past.

ratazom

😂😂😂 you know it brother 😂😂😂

mundanewarren

Doesn’t even account for the peripheral injured parties.

gavamont

And I never will, you rouge dumbass.

ratazom

Oh, I've fully killed you by time travel before, Warren. I don't actually know how you recovered. Indomitable human spirit, I guess

gavamont

Maybe we’ll fix that in the next time loop.

ratazom

🥺🥺🥺you think we could delete him?🥺🥺🥺