One day, Three autumns

Lord, please help me heal his heart. He has lost who he is. He has become a different person. I see so much anger in him but that isn't who he is. He is kind at heart. He is loving. He is the love of my life. Everyday I stuggle and I wish that I could take away the pain. I wish I could turn the sadness into happiness and turn his anger into passion. Give me the strength to keep him going. Because I know that he has lost his path.

Lord please help heal my heart. My world has shattered into pieces and my heart is hurting. I cant dont this. I can bear this pain. Just make all my feelings go away.

Its always my fault. Everything that happens is my fault. Because you think that I dont care. Nor do you believe or want to believe a thing I say. Im not going to lie. It hurts so much and I wish that I could numb out the pain but no matter what I do I feel complete sadness and I feel alone..even when there are people around. I guess its because I blocked the world out when I only wanted to see you and I no longer spoke to people who did not care for me as you did. I feel so hurt and I feel like im falling into a hole that ill never get out of snd that im screaming at the top of my lungs yet no one is around to hear or save me..better yet save me from myself.

Regardless of how much I want things to be alright. I know that deep down I Will never be happy with the decisions I make. Either way I will be hurt and heart broken. Im just so sick and tired of feeling like nothing is ever going to change. Im so discontent and my heart cant take the anymore.

Why do you do this to me. Why do you let bad things happen to the ones I love. My heart feels so heavy and I feel like im suffocating. I can only handle so much

I love when he lays his head on my shoulder and holds me tight when I drive. & the long goodbye kisses where we cant seem to want to say bye and he continues kissing my cheeks and forehead. He makes me feel so safe. .so loved. He means the world to me ♡

I've been thinking alot lately. .. And these thoughts have occupied my mind for such a long time. I just need a little sign of hope because that is what keeps me going

This whole situation makes me really nervous. I just hope its nothing and that we get through it.

Worst night ive ever had... I seriously feel so unwanted.

One year eight months. How fast time flies. I can't thank you enough for all the happiness yoy have brought into my life. You are such an angel and I love you more than anything in the world

I haven't yet gotten used to the fact that you are gone. I thought about you yesterday as I do everyday. I Wish I would have sent more time with you.I wish I would have listened who knew that that Saturday would have been the last conversation we were ever going to have. I was at the store the other day looking at clothes and immediately I thought of you and was going to say "hey nacho would like this" in reality who knows because I realized that my mind continues thinking that you're here with us. I miss your voice and I miss going to you for advice. You were the only one who would listen . you told me to find a good man who will take care of me and a person who loves me the way I am. Immediately I thought of joel and you were happy that I found someone. I guess we will never get used to yoy being gone. We just eventually get used to the pain and to the loss. You're deeply missed.