chronic rpf baiter

"wow i feel so incredibly anxious right now i wonder why that is". look to my hand. halfway through a bottle of a caffeinated beverage. take another sip

AND MY SPOTIFY DAYLIST ATTACKS ME WITH THE OPENING NOTES OF PUNKROCKER OKAY I GET IT ITS ABOUT HOPE AND HUMANITY. LET ME WALLOWWWW

its so stupid to go wow i shouldve been born a boy so i could have the kind of childhood i wish i had sometimes because my parents raised me relatively without gender roles and the real thing preventing em from having my idealised childhood was the neurodivergency (amongst other issues) that i would still have even if i was amab but sometimes i am admittedly gripped with a potent yearning and jealousy at the idea of getting to be a dirt covered boy climbing trees. i still did that as a girl but like. Ourgh

I SHOULDVE LIVED MY LIFE DIFFERENTLY IF I COULD GO BACK AND BE FIVE YEARS OLD AGAIN I WOULD DO CHILDHOOD RIGHT THIS TIME

i just want to post on the internet forever if im being serious and honest

being depressed and wallowing on a wednesday i so stupid. i dont have time for all that

this is all i ever wnated and i have no other concievable plans of what to do with my life but also i have spent the last three weeks on a repeated mantra of GETMEOUT GETMEOUT GETMEOUT. so thats probably good 👍

its loathe yourself monday

i should get paid for character analysis

i just genuinely cant keep up with uni and its so frustrating because i know im not like. locked in enough but also i cant get my brain to focus and every course assigns so much fucking work its hopeless. id rather just sit in the lectures absorb information and then go home and nap. i dont wanna do extra reading, i dont want to study for exams, and im not even taking part in uni social life either

anytime i mention my ex church was pentecoastal everyone gets scared for me but i dont even remember anything crazy so its just like. yeah sure that all sounds batshit i guess

im tired between flipflopping between hope and despair every two days