Long Time Coming (letting you go)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/82692626/chapters/217694821
Ryan has noticed Shelby being more shut off lately. He wakes up and sheâs not there, curled around him like a sloth. He checks her location and sheâs over by Greenwood Park which he knows is where she goes for runs. Lately, heâs woken up and her phone is there on the nightstand and when she gets back they have just enough time to get ready for work, Shelby bustling out the door with her hair damp.
He let it go, thinking they just needed to get adjusted again. He had been in the hospital for two months and then recovering at home for four more, they werenât used to orbiting around each other. That is, until- he woke up today to find Shelby yet again not there but her phone was and when he went into the bathroom it looked like it had been ransacked. Towels tossed over the shower rod, curling iron hanging half on the counter, half off. Drawers half open and clearly rummaged through, her makeup was strewn out and it smelled faintly of perfume. Not one he recognized either.
itâs 6:30 am, who could she be meeting this early?
Ryan steps back into the bedroom, tossing the blankets for his phone, he fell asleep with it in his hand last night.
To A.P. Is Shelby with you?
he waited for ten minutes, busying himself by hopping in the shower and then cleaning up the counter. Making sure to put Shelbyâs items back where they seemed to have pairs. Ryan took himself to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee into his favorite mug. Itâs white with a huge red apple that says âWelcome to New Yorkâ in the middle. He doesnât use it as much anymore, not since Alex came back and he remembered where (and who) it came from. Checking his phone he sees no new messages, meaning Alex is likely asleep on this bright and early Saturday morning, they donât get many Saturdayâs off so he canât say heâs shocked.
but then where would Shelby go? All dressed up, showered and makeup ready. What was that perfume? He knows what perfume she uses and he KNOWS she doesnât use that smelly shit.
Two hours pass and Shelby still isnât home but he doesnât have time to wait on her anymore, heading out the door to help his brother in law, Tom, with his truck. He had agreed over a week ago when Tom had texted him in the middle of work asking if he had any time and Ryan had volunteered to give him a hand, excited to get back to something more physical than case paperwork. Stepping out of the trunk he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out, thinking maybe Shelby had arrived home to see he was gone and was checking in.
From A.P. Havenât seen her or heard from her since we left work last night.
then below, another message.
From A.P. Is she okay? She mentioned a girls day today but never got back to me so I figured you guys had something going on.
To A.P. Nothing going on here except some truck work. Never known her to skip out on a shopping day.
Another message pops up at the top of his screen but he thumbs it off and shoves it into his pocket, seeing only the shrug emoji as her latest response. They havenât really talked much, especially in text other than a couple times when he was nearly itching to take the IV out and make a dash to the airport.
Heard from Shelby youâre getting out soon. I bet youâll be glad to get home.
Initially he hadnât answered. He had no energy to respond and part of him was angry.
Thatâs the best you can do when I nearly died to save your family?
Three more texts came in the following several days, spread over the course of a week.
Heard your pain is manageable now, thatâs progress.
Just dropped Shelby off at the airport, sheâll be there soon.
Youâre coming home! It will be nice to see you conscious again.
Ryan had thumbed up the text, intending to reply later. Between the paperwork, multiple nurses and drâs in and out of his room and the list of medications and side effects he was trying to memorize, his head hurt by the time they left and he drifted off before the plane even ascended. Shelby had gently nudged him awake, when he stood up she already had their bags. She looped her arm inside his so he could lean on her through the airport- his balance slightly off kilter being bedridden most of the past eight weeks.
It didnât occur to Ryan how they would be getting home. Though he knew Shelby had gotten dropped off at the airport. Walking out of the doors he had to blink and adjust his shades over his eyes to curb the headache incoming from the super sun that was threatening to blast into his eyes. He let Shelby lead him to the right and the left before one more row to the right, clearly not entirely sure where she was going but he didnât have it in him to question it. Not until they stopped and he realized it was neither of their cars and didnât look anything like Owenâs Ford. Ryan was putting it all together when she stepped out and came around to the back, lifting it and taking bags from Shelby to shimmy into the back of the trunk.
âItâs so nice to see you.â Shelby let her arm drop to her side once Ryan was leaned against the side of the car and stepped forward to hug Alex.
âShelby you saw me two days ago.â Alex laughs, catching Ryanâs eye over her shoulder and flashing her pearly whites at him. âYou look good for just getting out of the hospital a few hours ago.â She rested a hand on his shoulder as she brushed past back to the drivers seat.
Huffing, Ryan turned to catch Shelby looking at him. âIt was her or an uber and she offered.â She shrugged.
He climbed in the back and buckled in, feeling very much like a boy in the back of his momâs Bronco on the way to school.
Alex reversed out of the spot and hit the gas, pulling to the side to get more in line with the stop sign up ahead. âWhoâs hungry besides me?â
Ryan opens his mouth to decline, not wanting to prolong their time spent together but Shelby beats him to it happily nodding her head. âIâm starved! Hospital food sucks and I didnât have time for breakfast this morning.â Alex catches his eye in the mirror before turning slightly to look at Shelby again. âSo tacos or pizza?â
âA burger sounds good.â If he was going to be forced to eat with her then he was damn sure going to get a nice, greasy burger out of it. Heâs craved one for weeks now but the tube down his nose wasnât quite big enough.
âI donât care what it is as long as itâs good.â Shelby declares.
They ended up at Carla, in Hellâs Kitchen. Alex and Shelby had gone into get the food to go giving him a chance to avoid the rush of noise and bright lights.
The following several weeks were-weird to say the least. He had thought it would be mostly just Ryan & Shelby togetherness, what they missed out on when he was cooped up in a hospital bed.
Owen had stopped by a couple times with groceries and even brought over steaks to grill. He makes a mean steak.
Miranda and even Harry had stopped by to check in, Harry brought beer which Ryan was endlessly grateful for even if it had earned him an earful about mixing alcohol and medication from Shelby later on that evening.
What Ryan hadnât accounted for was Alex. She had come over three days after that ride home from the airport and apparently let herself in. He was unaware she even had a key but it made sense, she probably checked in on the plants and took care of Shelbyâs cat while she was gone. Still, theyâre home now so why use it? Something about it unnerved him. He shook it off and filed it in the back of his head to ask Shelby about later. On the fourth day in a row that she invited herself over, washing his dishes and cooking his food, even going as far as to clean up around him he had to stop her.
âWhat are you doing? This isnât your mess or your house.â His tone clipped.
Alex barely cast a glance his way as she marched into the kitchen with a pile of plates and two cups stacked together in her hands. âIâm cleaning, what does it look like?â She sat them in the sink and got to work with rinsing them off before quickly adding them to the dishwasher. She came back into the living room, something rattling in her hand and he caught sight of his medication. âItâs been two hours, itâs time for another round.â She outstretched her hand toward him, willing him to take it.
He did take it but not without adding âThis isnât your job, I can take care of myself.â
âShelby said to make sure you werenât overdoing it. I think the least I can do is some light cleaning and making sure you take your medications, thereâs a ton of them anyhow.â Alex didnât sit, reaching into the closet right inside the entry to the hallway she came back with a feather duster and began swiping it across the tv stand and across the frame of the tv.
âI didnât realize dusting was such a priority.â Ryan quipped. Heâd never seen her dust anything before.
âWell it builds up over eight weeks. I donât think it was on Shelbyâs list but now itâs one less thing for her OCD to obsess over.â
Ryan could hardly argue with that, Shelby had been diagnosed with moderate OCD years ago, before he had left on an ill fated adventure to the Thailand jungle. She had opened up to him when he came back, only shortly after they had met up for something entirely different and eventually it had turned into more than just two friends worried over the same person. He knew it was wrong and really wrestled with himself.
Ryan knew he wasnât in love with her, he knew he hadnât moved on yet and probably wouldnât for a long time but she was there, whenever he needed to talk even at three thirty in the morning some days. Shelby helped talk him out of hiring a P.I. promising that one day heâd have his answers and they wouldnât be forced.
I still donât know why she left me. I gave up everything to follow her and wouldâve for the rest of my days but that wasnât enough. Something about that nagged at the back of his head, in all his mixed up feelings about Alex leaving him and even coming back to NYC and staying- again- he didnât think she was cruel enough to leave him in the middle of nowhere with no good reason.
When he arrived home again it was nearly six pm, he hadnât thought about dinner yet and hoped that heâd walk into the house to the smells of something delicious Shelby whipped up.
Instead he stepped into the doorway, toeing his boots off and hanging his jacket on the hook before calling out for her only to get no response. Her car was in the garage so he knows sheâs back. He takes the stairs two at a time and finds her in their bedroom but what he sees causes his eyebrows to shoot out of his head.
âAre you going somewhere? Why are you packing?â
Shelbyâs head whipped around and she stared at him like he had caught her but she recovered quickly. âIâm going on a little road trip with Alex. Weâll be back tomorrow night.â
Ryanâs brows dropped back down and furrowed. âYou never told me about a road trip. Where were you this morning?â
Shelby zips her bag and heads into their en-suite bathroom. âIt was spur of the moment. We hardly get whole weekends off so we decided to take advantage of it.â She ignored his question.
She made quick work, grabbing her makeup and toiletries bag before stepping past him and down the stairs. âThereâs a frozen pizza in the garage.â
He followed her down and watched as she exited the house without even a kiss on the cheek.
What the hell? She completely avoided my question and didnât even say I love you.
Ryan threw the pizza in the oven and resigned himself to a night of football before heading to bed. He didnât bother to text her goodnight before drifting off, still perturbed that she wasnât telling him the truth. Miko hopped up and settled in beside him, purring against Shelbyâs pillow. Miko is a Munchkin breed cat, very fitting and often lovingly referred to as âMiko the Munchkin.â by Shelby as she reaches down to pet him on both sides at once in the evenings upon arriving from work.
âUGH WHAT?!â Ryan called out to no one in particular, flailing his hand around blindly reaching for his phone.
From A.P. Shelby came over last night and informed me weâre going on a road trip? Not sure if you talked to her and itâs not my place but she seems off, did you guys have a fight?
To A.P. No fight. I came home around 6 last night and she left within 12 minutes, saying you guys spontaneously planned this since we donât get weekends off often. Just keep me informed and maybe try to find out whatâs up with her? She wouldnât tell me where she went yesterday morning.
From A.P. Hmm, interesting. Okay, iâll try my best. Anything I should know before hand?
Like what? Ryan racked his brain but couldnât come up with anything. It being nearly seven am didnât help his sleep fueled brain.
To A.P. Nothing I know of. Thatâs kinda the problem.
Two hours passed before Ryan gave up on getting more sleep. He washed his face and brushed his teeth in the bathroom before jogging downstairs to grab his keys and hoisting himself up into his truck. Heâs only been cleared back for light duty for two weeks now, which consisted of paperwork and case files. He had to get caught up on the latest case anyway but he was not enjoying it in the slightest, his body itching to get back to the physical part of the job. He switched on the radio and routed himself to the Trader Joeâs nearby, stopping at the coffee truck right inside before any shopping could commence. He hadnât had breakfast so he figured two doughnuts, a muffin and an espresso would do the trick.
From A.P. Forgot to text last night, Weâre here. Shelby blinded me and interrupted my dreams about 25 minutes ago and she insisted on getting ready to go âexploreâ the sightâs. I hope that doesnât mean a hike.
Ryan laughed, knowing just how much Alex detested hiking in the past. He steered his cart off to the side before responding.
To A.P. Can you let her know I texted her?
Ryan makes it two more rows, stocking up on frozen and fresh fruit, bagels, and is perusing the shelves of various snacks when his pocket buzzes again.
From A.P. She said her phone died overnight so I offered her mine and she just shrugged. I can try to get her to call you.
So Shelbyâs willingly ignoring me? Thatâs strange.
To A.P. Currently in T.J.âs. Itâs no biggie. Just tell her I love her to get back to me later please.
He got a thumbs up in lieu of a response.
He scanned his groceries before paying and tossed them into the passenger side of his truck, Shelbyâs side- his brain helpfully supplied- before getting in himself and cranking the AC. For being a week into March New York certainly missed the memo for spring weather.
From A.P. It IS a hike. Whatever is going on with S. has caused her to go off her rocker. She wonât even allow me to eat lunch until we get to the East side of the trail đ.
To A.P. Sounds like youâre at Bear Mountain. Youâve got six miles if you started at the very beginning of the West side.
Ryan had been there many a times and there were two entrances on the West side. One was about a mile and a half in, and one was zero miles in.
The rest of his day was spent meal prepping for the week ahead, hitting the gym, and a shower.
When he decided he didnât have any energy left to cook and had possibly slightly overdone it he decided to order Thai food for delivery and sat in his sweats, barely watching the tv. He woke up on the couch and drug himself to bed, cringing at the pain in his right calf muscle from his knee being bent at a weird angle for two hours. He still wasnât done with physical therapy for another six weeks.
omg iâm scared đ I havenât wrote and posted a fic in FOREVER. I have chapter 2 & 3 done, iâll post them on ao3 soon if anyone wants to go over there to read it.
