Eels

Race isnt real but if you think race doesn't impact our lives you are an idealist, an idiot, and probably a racist.

I literally got a windows 10 outlook email in my sleep. This has to stop

everyones into corruption kink until you accidentally try to sign into your home computer using your work password

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

@tiredarts-main Get known

I like how guns are useless against Japanese folk horror type monsters. There's no special gun you can make. You have to feed this thing your hair every night or it makes you drown yourself in a lake. You were fucked from the moment you acknowledged it.

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

that’s how fucked up our world is now

*inserting new RAM into my 10 year old motherboard* "Shhh... hey, hey! It's okay girl. I didn't mean to startle you. I know it's been a little while. I've got a nice little treat for you here, okay? It's going to help you run smoother. There now, see? That wasn't so bad. I'm sorry girl. I didn't realize how much stress I've been putting you under, streaming Elden Ring with only 8 GB of memory... No wonder you're having trouble with Baldur's Gate 3. You've been doing so good though. I know you'll probably have to go soon, but we still got a few good years left. Hopefully this will help ease any pain you've been feeling. I'm going to put the cover back on the case now, okay? I love you."

Girls are you okay?

"In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." -- Brennan Lee Mulligan, D20, Fantasy High

i think that harry styles dies really frequently to like putting forks in outlets n shit, and they gotta use a factory to make more harries. but one day one of the fucked up defective harries escaped and they couldnt catch him in time before he became famous and so they just had to let him do this thing. and thats timothee chalamet