Just A Bunch Of Fandom Stuff

Sirius: Look at that James she’s playing with her hair I’ve never seen her play with her hair before

James: I thought you didn’t like her

Sirius: I don’t I told you that

James: Then why are you so concerned with her hair

Sirius: I’m not, as her friend I’m trying to keep her safe Sebastian Wood isn’t a good guy. I hate that guy

Remus: No, what you’re feeling is jealousy, not hatred. There’s a difference

Sirius: I will stab you with a fork I am NOT jealous just concerned

Remus: *chuckles earning a nasty glare*

James: Go talk to her already, you’ve been sitting here staring at her and it’s starting to get weird

Sirius: I don’t think I’m hungry anymore looking at them getting cozy made me lose my appetite

*Sirius gets up and leaves*

James: How long until he admits he’s in love with her

Remus: Give it a month max

James: I say a month and a half he’s as stubborn as she is, ten galleons

James: Marlene once made me call people and tell them she was dead to see how they’d react.

—————————————————————

Marlene: is she crying? Is she crying?

James: A little

*Marlene takes phone*

the sorcerer’s stone: dudley asking harry if he wants to practice sticking his head down the toilet and harry replying “no thanks, the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick” like ooo!!! sick burn!!! good for an 11 year old but overall still in the developmental stage. 6/10

the chamber of secrets: dudley (once again lmao get rekt) telling harry “i know what day it is” and harry replying “well done, so you’ve finally learned the days of the week.” lockhart trying to be all Amazing Teacher™ and shit and telling harry “just do what i did, harry!” and harry saying “what, drop my wand?” overall good but not with as much of an Oomph™ factor as the sorcerer’s stone. 5/10

the prisoner of azkaban: ah yes!!! Harry’s Sass™ in its adolescent years!!!! no longer a toddler, now solidly about 11 years old. draco making fun of harry for fainting at the quidditch game bc of the dementors and saying “shame [the broom] doesn’t come with a parachute - in case you get too near a dementor.” and harry replying “pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy. then it could catch the snitch for you.” 8/10 purely because he fucking MURDERED whiny bitch ass baby malfoy ha ha take that

the goblet of fire: a good amount of sass!! a healthy amount of sass! perhaps a bit held back though (come on harry get it together). rita skeeter annoying harry and asking for a word and jk rowling LITERALLY writing “‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘good-bye’” like FUCK he is canon savage in this book!!!! DAMN!!!!! and then he reks malfoy AGAIN “you know that expression [your mother’s got], like she’s got dung under her nose? has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?” MOTHERFUCK GO OFF 9/10

the order of the phoenix: HOLY GRAIL OF HARRY’S SASS™. THE MOTHERLOAD. GOD DAMN. when vernon asks him why he’s listening to the news again and harry replies w/ “well, it changes every day, you see.” when hermione’s warning him about picking fights w/ malfoy bc malfoy will make life hard for him and harry’s like “wow, i wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life” like fuck harry!!! tell us how u really feel!!!! literally ANY TIME he talks to an adult he doesn’t like. sassing dudley left & right, putting him in his place w/ “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this” like fuck harry brought out the big guns w/ “diddykins”. overall wonderful, truly. a good healthy teenage dose of sass. 100/10

the half blood prince: SHIT DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING EXCEPT “THERE’S NO NEED TO CALL ME SIR, PROFESSOR” LIKE FUCK. BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK. OF THE WHOLE SERIES. FUCKING OWNED SNAPE HE’S FUCKIN REKT LYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING DRINKING SOME CHEAP ASS DISGUSTING ASS FIREWHISKEY. BREAKS THE GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING SCALE SO FAR OFF THE SCALE IT’S ON MARS. INFINITY/10. FUCK.

me:

Mycroft : This is a private matter.

Sherlock : John stays.

Mycroft : This is family

Sherlock : THAT’S WHY HE STAYS

John :