Idek At This Point

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Relationship goals

DUDE………..ONE DIRECTION THROWIN OUT SINGLES ONCE ZAYN GETS SIGNED I SEE U….I LOVE THIS.

If this is the single…. just think what the other songs are gonna be.

hooooo boy

😂😂😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Why is the blonde bitch just standing in the window weeping? Like bitch, that’s your child. Are you stuck to the fucking floor? Are you allergic to air? How are you just gonna let this bitch stick your damn baby on the BBQ grill like a fucking beef sausage link as you watch through the window? You’re a stupid bitch. You clearly don’t want your child and are giving an Oscar worthy performance just in case the neighbors are watching. I hope she makes you eat your charcoaled baby on a sesame seed bun.

be with someone who sexts you at family gatherings

Or sneaks off with you to have sex with you at family gatherings.

n e w b r o k e n s c e n e